Boy Monster Chapter 58

Jae Eunho fought to suppress the shuddering passion within him.

He couldn’t understand why turning away felt so devastating, so painful, as if he had been hacked to pieces. The lyrics from the gramophone record lingered in his tattered heart.

—Oh, pitiful life, consumed by living, you are a dancer upon a blade…

As he walked to his room without a sound, Jae Eunho’s every step trembled.

Why can’t I embrace that child right now?

Why is this world the way it is?

To think about the answer was an endless, and endlessly agonizing, task. Jae Eunho walked, clutching his disheveled chest.

Jae Eunho was skilled at ignoring useless emotions, and he would do so this time as well.

This world does not listen to my pain and my whining.

You know this well, Eunho taught himself as he walked. He absolutely did not permit himself to cry. Because that child, locked in the dark warehouse, was not crying either.

When he stubbed his toe on a stepping stone, a numb sensation enveloped the tip of his foot. Coming to his senses, he realized he was barefoot, without socks.

:･⚜️⊹.️

Jae Eunho did not visit the boy after that. It was the last act of consideration he could offer, so he had to keep it.

There was a slight change in his daily routine. He now had to take his pill once a day under the watch of the Hoguk Buddhist monk and the Head of the House, and this month, he also had to practice sexual union.

Jae Eunho needed a new plan. The method of slowly breaking the Head’s spirit had failed. He had to find another breakthrough to save the Hwelju and Yeonri, who were held hostage in the dual hardship of Japanese oppression and the Head’s tyranny.

The most desirable future Jae Eunho envisioned was living as an ordinary person in a Joseon free of the Head of the House and the Japanese Empire. He organized the information gathered from the Hwelju, wondering if he could drive out both shadows at once. He was also studying the genealogies of scattered independence movement factions and their ideologies, but his method of a single person trying to break a rock with an egg seemed hopeless.

What tormented Jae Eunho even more amidst all this was the boy’s heavy voice that remained in his heart.

It seemed the boy’s presence, which he had so fervently unwanted, had seeped into and taken root in Jae Eunho’s heart. This was Jae Eunho’s own mistake. It was Jae Eunho’s fault for rashly getting involved in a game like love counseling, so he couldn’t blame anyone else.

A dark color, like the boy’s deep navy notebook, remained in his heart. It seemed like a color that would linger for a long time.

And, if he wanted to escape from this unknown emotion that had taken root, what Jae Eunho had to do was not to be shaken by it, but to change the situation.

So, Jae Eunho ignored Jang Hwonwoo even more coldly than before.

It was a relief that it was difficult for Jang Hwonwoo to find a chance to speak to Eunho. Because of his fault in playing a prank on Sa Yeonri and bringing about calamity, it was difficult for him to approach Eunho in places with many eyes.

Sometimes, he could feel the boy’s gaze on him from a distance, mixed in with the adults. Whenever that happened, Eunho would think how much better it would have been if this child didn’t exist, and thoroughly ignored the boy.

The problem was the boy’s notebook. To return it, he had to speak to him. But it seemed absurd for Jae Eunho, who had decided to cut ties first, to initiate conversation, so in the end, he decided not to return it. Planning to throw it away somewhere suitable or burn it to get rid of it, Jae Eunho put the notebook in his clothes.

He was on his way to the kitchen with the small notebook. The Head of the House entered the new-style garden with a servant. Taking off his fedora and loosening his tie, the Head frowned.

“What? Hyeong-gil?”

“Yes, it seems he’s caught the typhoid that’s going around… he’s vomiting and has such severe diarrhea….”

“Serves him right, wandering around aimlessly whoring with gisaengs. Hasn’t the doctor come yet?”

“Well, we’re calling all over the place, but. They don’t seem to want to come, probably because they’re scared of the epidemic….”

“Are you calling that an excuse right now? Search every corner of Gyeongseong and bring one. Ah, make sure he absolutely does not leave his room. And don’t let anyone in.”

The Head looked this way with eyes full of irritation, and Jae Eunho was so startled that he dropped the notebook. The Head stormed out of the mansion, looking thoroughly annoyed.

If Jang Hwonwoo had been sick, he wouldn’t have let it go like that, but since it was a son he had disowned who was sick, he was brushing it off casually. He knew it, but the man was truly not human. Cursing him inwardly, Jae Eunho turned his eyes from the back of the Head’s head.

He carefully checked his surroundings to see if anyone was there and picked up the dropped notebook. As he was about to close the opened notebook, Jae Eunho blinked his eyes at the handwriting that caught his eye in a passing glance.

It was because of the sentences the boy had written down in a neat, regular script. Opening the notebook again, Jae Eunho discovered a diary of short sentences that filled half the notebook.

He is a scoundrel I cannot even call father, so I only wish for the day he dies.

The position he sits in is not befitting of him.

This kind of violent method cannot gain true respect and control. I am proof of that myself.

When I gain power, I will make it so that man cannot speak, cannot see the world.

.
.
.

The densely written content was a curse written over several years. It was writing that had been consistently recorded at intervals of a few days, from the date the boy received this notebook until now. The animosity that had accumulated for a long time since the moment of his birth shone clearly within the text.

Jae Eunho felt he understood the reason the boy had come to this mansion. And, he could clearly see in his mind the words and actions the Head must have inflicted upon the boy in places Eunho couldn’t see. And the life on a knife’s edge that the boy must be living.

For a while, his surprise did not subside. Putting the notebook in his clothes, Jae Eunho, who had been lingering in front of the kitchen furnace, came out to the garden. He sat at a garden table on the lawn and organized his thoughts for a long time.

From the moment he learned of Jang Hwonwoo’s inner thoughts, the boy no longer felt as distant as before.

And so, two days passed since Eunho decided not to burn the boy’s notebook. At the end of two days of deliberation, Jae Eunho was asking himself this question.

‘What if I make this boy my ally?’

Even if their ultimate goals are different, if their objective is the same anyway.

Is there a need to remain enemies as we are now?

‘No. Rather, it is to my advantage to make him my ally.’

I must make him my successor, not the Head’s. The Head trusts this son of his infinitely, so there are even more aspects to exploit.

Even if Jae Eunho completes his long-held revenge later, wouldn’t this child welcome it instead? Isn’t he already following Jae Eunho more than his own father?

If I thoroughly make this child, who currently holds affection for me, my ally, he won’t interfere with my future plans, and I won’t have to worry about what to do with him after my revenge is complete.

If I succeed in perfectly coaxing him, I could even poison or assassinate the Head at the right time. How easy would that be!

Use him. Slowly dye him with my ideology so that he becomes my ally.

With so many advantages… there’s no need to treat that child coldly with an uncomfortable heart every day….

After a few days, Jae Eunho’s resolve became firm. As he walked toward Jang Hwonwoo, who was standing at the shooting range, Eunho repeated to himself once more.

‘You are my objective. I am now talking to you and trying to be with you for the sake of my objective, there is no other reason.’

If I make the one who will inherit the real power of this mansion my ally, the things I can do will become limitless.

There was no guilt. What was wrong with using the son of the enemy who killed my parents to this extent? It’s a win-win situation for everyone.

As he approached Jang Hwonwoo, who was holding a rifle, the boy’s eyes widened and he looked up at Jae Eunho before the remaining few steps could be closed.

Jang Hwonwoo thought of the pleasant event that had happened a few days ago and aimed the rifle’s sight at the center of a distant target. It was a good thing he had listened carefully when the activist from the Righteous Brotherhood explained about poisoning. There was a particular drug that was perfect for avoiding suspicion because its symptoms after ingestion were similar to those of food poisoning or an infectious disease, and he never thought that the few packets he had stolen and kept would be so helpful.

‘It would have been better if he had writhed even more.’

A few days ago, when he had visited his half-brother, seeing him clutching his stomach and foaming at the mouth in pain had left Jang Hwonwoo feeling refreshed to this day.

He probably didn’t know when he came to the warehouse to sneer at me. That your stupid blabbering is more useless than the dirty slave’s house I grew up in.

As he pulled the trigger fiercely, the recoil pushed against his shoulder.

Rrr-rumble rumble…! 

The gourds tied up as targets shattered in succession. Jang Hwonwoo smiled brightly.

‘Heh heh….’

He thought he should steal some more poison whenever he got the chance, and reloaded the gun. Smiling sweetly and taking a brief breath, a white hem flickered in his distant vision.

‘Sa Yeonri…?’

Jae Eunho’s long, straight body was walking toward him. His gait was always steady and light. The fluttering collar of his clothes approached. What he held in his hand was Jang Hwonwoo’s notebook.

“Can we talk for a moment? I have something urgent to say.”

At the sound of his heartbeat, like a gunshot inside his body, Jang Hwonwoo almost smiled without realizing it. He managed to hide his smile by widening his eyes. Though his voice was still heartless, Jae Eunho was the one initiating the conversation, humbling himself.

‘Jae Eunho.’

He murmured Jae Eunho’s name in his mind out of wonder. Jae Eunho was waiting for Jang Hwonwoo’s answer. As he met the jet-black eyes that gazed at Jang Hwonwoo for a long time, his breath swelled achingly, leaving a mark deep in his chest. That stimulus was far more intense and sweet than the pleasure he had felt when he succeeded in poisoning his half-brother.

‘Jae Eunho, finally, to me.’

As he repeated those words in his mind, he couldn’t contain the fiercely rising pleasure. It was hard to distinguish exactly whether this smile was a smirk or a sense of victory, but in any case, it was ticklish. To think that throwing the notebook to Jae Eunho amidst the Head’s violence was a purely instinctive act….

So, Jang Hwonwoo smiled brightly.

“Of course, Lord Sa Yeonri.”