Actually, It’s a Messy Melodrama Chapter 108

The study door opened, and a familiar face popped out. It was Cha Haeshin, looking like he had just woken up.

“You’re awake?”

Taejun asked as he got up from his seat, then he quickly looked at Secretary Choi.

“Good work. You can go home now.”

“Yes, I’ll be on my way then. Mr. Haeshin, please get some good rest as well.”

Secretary Choi quickly tidied up his things, said his goodbyes to Haeshin as well, and left the study. After awkwardly exchanging farewells with Secretary Choi, Haeshin hesitantly entered the study where Taejun was now alone.

“Did I interrupt you?”

“No. It’s not like I was working, so how could you be interrupting? Did you sleep well?”

Taejun asked as he quickly approached Haeshin. Haeshin rubbed his eyes and nodded.

“I don’t even know when I fell asleep. I’m sure I wasn’t sleepy…”

“It’s fine as long as you slept well. I told you, didn’t I? That even if you think you’re okay, your body would have been startled.”

“I guess that was really the case.”

“Aren’t you hungry?”

Taejun asked as he naturally took Haeshin’s hand and led him to the living room. Haeshin quietly followed him, looking down at their joined hands.

It was amazing. Haeshin had thought he knew himself better than anyone. He had lived for a time that was several times longer than others, so he thought it was only natural.

Haeshin had grown as accustomed as one could be to the violence of others. So he could face most kinds of violence without even batting an eye. Or so he had thought.

That was why when Taejun told him to rest because he must have been startled, Haeshin had laughed a little to himself. He had been locked in a room and beaten for hours before, so he thought Taejun’s reaction of worrying about him just because his wrist was grabbed was both thankful and cute.

However, the moment he was half-forced to lie down on the bed, Haeshin had no choice but to admit that Taejun had been right. As soon as he entered a safe space that no one could invade, all the strength drained from his body and sleepiness washed over him. It was a completely unexpected situation.

Only then did Haeshin realize. The fact that perhaps he didn’t know himself as well as he thought.

Haeshin’s life had always been assembled for survival alone, so he had never been able to properly look at the parts that had nothing to do with survival.

It would be more accurate to say that he never had the capacity to. In a life busy struggling to avoid being beaten to death, scrambling to avoid starving to death, and thrashing about to escape from repeated deaths, there was no way he would have had the leisure to get to know himself.

That was why Haeshin found Taejun amazing. When you thought about it, this was a person he had not known for very long, yet it seemed like he knew Haeshin better than Haeshin himself, who had lived his entire life as ‘Cha Haeshin.’

“What’s wrong?”

Taejun, who had stopped walking, perhaps finding the unresponsive Haeshin strange, turned around and asked. Haeshin quickly shook his head. He didn’t want to get emotional for no reason.

“I guess I was still half-asleep. I’m hungry.”

“I knew it. I asked for the meal to be prepared early, so we should be able to eat soon.”

Even now, it was like that. For Haeshin, eating had always been the lowest priority. Eating proper meals was a luxury, and since sleep was more important, he had lived his life choosing to sleep for even a little while rather than eat.

But now, there was someone who not only anticipated that Haeshin would be hungry but also prepared a meal for him in advance. There was someone who could notice Haeshin’s condition and worry about him just from a trivial glance and gesture, and that person was desperately trying to save Cha Haeshin.

That fact made Haeshin’s heart swell up anew, and he stood still and gazed intently at Taejun.

“What?”

“…”

“What is it? Are you not feeling well somewhere?”

As Haeshin just kept staring without a word, Taejun’s expression quickly darkened. Haeshin felt a massive tidal wave of emotion surging from within him. It was a passion that could not be explained with words.

He wanted to hold Han Taejun deep in his heart. He wanted to feel his heartbeat against his skin, breathe in his breath, and be with him for a very, very long time.

How should he describe this feeling? Can it not be described as love? If it is not love, then how can this feeling, where only Han Taejun is special in the entire universe, be defined?

Does love really not exist? Could this feeling change or disappear as time passes and situations change? If this is not love just because that could happen, then is there truly any emotion in this world that can be defined by language?

Waves of unorganized thoughts raged wildly. In the end, Haeshin said nothing and carefully embraced Taejun.

Taejun, without knowing why, hugged Haeshin back. Even though he knew nothing, the hand that held him was so endlessly tender that it felt like he might laugh.

You spoil me by accepting me like this.

Haeshin opened his mouth, thinking a thought he was too embarrassed to say out loud.

“Mr. President.”

“Yes. Were you suddenly moved by me?”

Even now, Taejun had a rough idea of what state Haeshin was in. That fact was embarrassing, yet reassuring. It felt good to have someone who understood him without him having to say it, without having to struggle to express it.

“Mr. President, you are really amazing.”

“Me?”

“Yes. I’ve really never seen anyone like you, Mr. President.”

“My goodness, look who’s talking. I’m the one who wonders where on earth a kid like you just dropped from.”

Taejun hugged Haeshin’s body tightly with force, then let go slightly, met his eyes, and continued.

“I realize it’s a miracle a dozen times a day.”

“This is why I say you’re amazing. That someone as great as you, Mr. President, is acting this way towards someone like me.”

“Really? I think it’s perfectly natural that I fell in love with you.”

Love.

The moment that word came out of Taejun’s mouth, a silence fell between the two of them.

Taejun mulled over the word that had just come out of his own mouth. It was a word he had always forced himself to swallow because he didn’t want to pressure him, but it had slipped out without him realizing in the relaxed atmosphere.

However, he didn’t feel like he had made a mistake. There was no need to make such a big fuss about it. Even though he had not put the direct word to his lips, Taejun had been speaking and showing his love in front of Cha Haeshin.

Cha Haeshin, too, had been watching that all-too-vivid emotion the whole time, so he wouldn’t suddenly back away just because he said the word love now. He had that kind of faith.

“Even if we weren’t regressors, even if we had met normally in a perfectly ordinary time and space.”

Taejun knew one of Haeshin’s anxieties. He himself had once worried for the same reason. That because they were in a relationship that met in a special environment for a special reason, they might only feel special emotions for each other exclusively within this special time and space.

“Even then, I would have loved you. I can be sure of it.”

But now Taejun knew. Even then, even if they had simply met as a third-generation chaebol and a poor bar employee, Han Taejun would have loved Cha Haeshin.

He would have felt sympathy and compassion for Cha Haeshin’s life, he would have been in awe of the sight of Cha Haeshin moving forward gallantly even in such a life, and in the end, he would have helplessly fallen in love with Cha Haeshin. He was certain of it.

“It’s not amazing to me at all that I love you. It would be amazing if I didn’t love you.”

Right at that moment, Cha Haeshin thought. That he was the one who couldn’t have helped but love Han Taejun. That not loving a person like this would be more difficult than going through infinite regressions.

Haeshin buried his head in Taejun’s embrace again. Unlike his overwhelming emotions, he couldn’t say anything. Was it because he had feared love for too long? He wanted to express his feelings with wonderful words just as Taejun had done, but the words did not come easily.

However, he wasn’t worried that Taejun might not understand his heart. He had faith that even in this moment, Han Taejun would understand his heart, which was so full of affection.

And it was true. In Taejun’s eyes, Cha Haeshin’s emotions were so clearly visible. No matter how much he hesitated and struggled to express them with words, they were felt so loudly that they couldn’t possibly be mistaken.

“I… I really… Mr. President…”

“Yes. I know.”

So Taejun replied, lightly kissing the cheek of Haeshin, who couldn’t properly finish his sentence.

Even though his painful life was blocking him, telling him that love does not exist, his expression of it with his whole body and heart so that Taejun could feel his feelings—to Taejun, that was a clearer token of love than any words.

⍣ *

“You’re here now.”

“Yes, I’m back.”

Youngmin entered the house, feeling a deep sense of fatigue. For the past few days, his emotions had been hitting rock bottom. There was no other reason, only because of Cha Haeshin, whom he had not yet managed to drag before him.

“You, come over here and sit down for a bit.”

Youngmin, who had barely offered a greeting and was about to go straight up to his room, frowned at his father’s voice calling from the living room.

He didn’t want to do anything right now. Everything was just bothersome and annoying. Youngmin thought he should postpone any conversation or anything else for now and slowly walked to the living room where his father was.

“Father, I’m a bit tired right now, so if it’s not urgent, can we later…!”

However, Youngmin’s words did not get to finish properly. It was because he had spotted a completely unexpected face on the living room sofa as he got closer.

“Youngmin, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

The person who greeted Youngmin was none other than Han Taejun, who had been strangely on his mind lately.