Actually, It’s a Messy Melodrama Chapter 128

“It is because Mr. President shielded Mr. Cha Haeshin with his own body that Mr. Cha Haeshin was able to be safe to this extent.”

“…….”

“So you do not need to feel any useless self-reproach. The person who did wrong is someone else. It is not Mr. President’s fault.”

Taejun did not give any reply to Secretary Choi’s words. Was this truly the best? Was there really no better way? The countless choices he had made while coming all the way here flashed through his mind.

At the final moment, the feeling of Haeshin’s cold hand that he had barely managed to grasp kept lingering at his fingertips, causing Taejun to close his eyes while biting his lip. He wanted to quickly see the living, not-dead Cha Haeshin whom Han Taejun had not lost yet. That was the only thing Taejun wished for right now.

☂️

“Why aren’t you waking up……”

Taejun stared blankly at Haeshin’s face as he slept soundly as if he were dead, before murmuring gloomily. Haeshin, who they said would wake up shortly, had still not opened his eyes even though several hours had passed since he returned to the hospital room. In the spacious hospital room where only the two of them remained, only the sound of Haeshin’s breathing could be heard.

Since the wounds on Taejun’s back were not light either, the hospital had told him to move as little as possible, but there was no way Taejun could rest easy while Haeshin had not regained consciousness.

After meeting his grandfather briefly to ask him to handle catching Jin Youngmin, Taejun had rejected all other visitors and had been sticking by Haeshin’s side the entire time.

They had definitely said there were no other issues with Haeshin’s body. They said the surgery ended well and under normal circumstances, he should have opened his eyes already. Although they ran tests again at Taejun’s request, the results did not change. There was no special problem, so they just kept saying he would wake up if they waited.

“Don’t tell me…… you are wandering through those terrible memories.”

This was exactly why Taejun was this gloomy despite the hospital’s medical opinion that he was perfectly fine. He was terrified that the reason Haeshin had failed to wake up until now was because he was repeating the memories of the past, just like himself. If it weren’t for that, there seemed to be no reason for him to not wake up by now when nothing was wrong.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Haeshin……”

Taejun’s sorrowful voice settled over the quiet hospital room. He felt entirely sorry and guilty for forgetting Haeshin, for not remembering him sooner, and for failing to do anything this time as well until Cha Haeshin came to find him.

Despite that, to fail to protect him perfectly even now and make him go through this kind of state. It was truly the worst.

“I’m so sorry…… I’m sorry……”

Taejun held onto Haeshin’s hand, pressing his lips against the back of his hand as he whispered continuously. From the bottom of his heart, he felt like he wanted to even drop to his knees before him.

How could he have forgotten him? How could he lose all the moments he had loved Cha Haeshin?

He shouldn’t have done that. Even if someone—whether it was fate or a god—interfered, he at least should have held onto the thread of memory somehow and found Cha Haeshin first this time.

In the past, and even now, he found himself pathetic for relying solely on Cha Haeshin’s courage to come all the way here.

“Why did you suddenly become a fool?”

Right then, from above his head, the very voice Taejun had been craving so desperately was heard. Startled, Taejun urgently raised his head and looked at Haeshin.

Unbeknownst to him when he had come to his senses, Cha Haeshin was looking at Taejun with tear-brimmed eyes.

“You, you……”

“What do you mean you’re sorry. If anything, I’m the one…… the person who should truly be sorry is me……”

“Do you perhaps……”

Taejun stuttered, unable to continue his words easily. It was because he could not be certain whether Haeshin had really recovered all his memories just like himself. If that weren’t the case, Taejun did not want to purposely inform him of the terrible memories of the past.

“I’m sorry. Because of me, Taejun…… even Taejun had to go through that kind of, that kind of thing……”

However, the moment he heard Haeshin’s subsequent words, Taejun became certain. That Haeshin, too, had recovered all the memories of the first life.

“Ah, ahh……”

“Taejun shouldn’t have faced that kind of thing, but because of me……”

“Please, please Haeshin, don’t say such things. Don’t do that.”

Taejun pleaded, groaning like an animal. It felt as if his heart were being torn to shreds. If my heart had been more desperate, if I had prayed more earnestly, then would Cha Haeshin have not needed to repeat that excruciating pain during that long, long time?

Even so, he felt so incredibly sorry for Haeshin, who was blaming himself even for Taejun’s death.

“Taejun was the one who said sorry to me first.”

Yet, unlike Taejun who looked as if he would pour out loud wails at any second, Haeshin replied with a voice that sounded somewhat like a whine even while choking back tears.

“Because Taejun says sorry to me, I—I have no choice but to say these kinds of words too.”

Taejun bit his lip at the natural drop of formalities. His heart swelled with deep emotion as it finally sank in that the past days they had spent together for a long time as lovers who even promised marriage, and the present days they spent together solely as each other’s salvation, had finally connected into one.

Therefore, Taejun suppressed his desire to kneel before him and replied with a smile in a much lighter voice.

“Right. I was wrong. Because I said something unnecessary……”

“You’re really like a fool. Who said they wanted to hear something like an apology from Mr. President the moment they woke up?”

He also liked that the titles Taejun and Mr. President were naturally mixed together. The souls of the two people were resonating in a way that no other person in the world would ever experience.

“You’re right. I was foolish.”

“You really are like a fool.”

“So don’t cry.”

Haeshin, who had been brave the entire time, broke down at Taejun’s final words. The tears that had been brimming fell in drops, wetting the pillow. Taejun wiped away Haeshin’s tears with a gentle touch.

“You remember everything, right?”

Haeshin nodded his head while biting his lip. Only now did he find the answers to the questions that had always been kept in one corner of Haeshin’s heart.

Particularly for Haeshin, as he repeated that tedious time, there was a question he was most curious about.

Why on earth, for what reason, do I have to repeat this painful life, trapped in a maze that feels as if it were built solely for my misfortune? Why is even giving up not permitted in this world?

Haeshin had always been curious about that as he repeated death countless times. And Haeshin had finally found the answer to that long-standing question.

“I…… simply had to meet you.”

With a boundlessly trembling voice, Haeshin slowly uttered the answer he had searched for so desperately out loud. Only Han Taejun deserved to hear the correct answer.

“Because it is a hell that only ends when I meet you, Han Taejun, and because that is the only single way my life can become happy……”

Since Han Taejun himself was the main character of this sorrowful narrative, after all.

“That is why I had no choice but to keep failing repeatedly until I held Taejun’s hand.”

“I, I……”

“It’s not Mr. President, but I am the one who wandered into the wrong place. Because I didn’t know my happiness was right beside me, and I kept, kept trying to find an exit somewhere else.”

“No. It’s not true……”

In the end, unable to endure it any longer, Taejun buried his lips against the back of Haeshin’s hand again and whispered.

“It’s not your fault. It’s not our fault.”

Taejun’s tears wet the back of Haeshin’s hand. Now he could be certain. This is not the fault of either Han Taejun or Cha Haeshin. If there was a person who needed to apologize for this old tragedy, it was only the perpetrator, Jin Youngmin—that one person alone.

“I am so glad. That I did not lose you again. Thank you for waking up safely. Thank you, Haeshin.”

Taejun’s lips traveled up Haeshin’s arm, kissing his chin and cheek in turn. Haeshin wanted to say thank you just the same, but because it felt like he would wail loudly the moment he opened his mouth, he could not easily make a sound.

On that day long ago, and even now, Han Taejun had never once turned away from his cry to save him. The moment the man who willingly threw his everything for the sake of Cha Haeshin—who had nothing to offer and whom he had absolutely no reason to help—said thank you to him, it was heartbreakingly dear.

“I love you. Now, never again…… I will never lose you again.”

Simultaneously with those words, the breaths of the two people became tangled together. Haeshin closed his eyes as he felt the hot flesh fiercely digging into his mouth.

An affection more sorrowful than any words, or any romantic confession, filled their souls completely riding upon each other’s breath.

Finally, it was a love completed without any void.

☂️

“Pathetic bastard, pathetic and rotten bastard!”

Han Jeongyeon, who was Jin Youngmin’s mother, threw the bag she was holding onto the floor with all her might the moment she stepped inside the house and shouted. The accessories on the surface of the bag broke with a loud noise, scattering into fragments.

“Honey, calm down.”

“Do I look like I can calm down right now?!”

Her husband, Moonsung, who followed her inside in a hurry, soothed Jeongyeon, but it was to no avail.

“I told him to clean things up without throwing a useless tantrum, and yet he causes this kind of accident?!”

Jeongyeon murmured while grinding her teeth. It was her first time experiencing such an absurd incident in her life. It was absurd enough that her son had stalked a guy from God knows where, but he even tried to hit his cousin with a car because he claimed that cousin stole him away.

“It is a relief at least that there was nothing wrong with Taejun’s life.”

Jeongyeon murmured as if grinding her teeth. Although he had already crossed the line, it was still a stroke of luck among misfortunes that Taejun’s condition was only to this extent. If it weren’t for that, it wouldn’t just be Jin Youngmin, but everything Jeongyeon had achieved all this time would have been in danger.