Actually, It’s a Messy Melodrama Chapter 14

“Here is Mr. Cha Haeshin’s address and contact information as you requested.”

“Mr. Cha Haeshin? Why so formal?”

Taejun glanced at Secretary Choi, who had placed the paper with Cha Haeshin’s information in front of him.

Secretary Choi lived by the belief that no one was above Han Taejun, and he didn’t cower even in front of Chairman Han. He was equally arrogant and rarely humbled himself before anyone.

Taejun found it curious that Secretary Choi seemed cautious when mentioning Cha Haeshin. Secretary Choi replied with his usual expressionless face.

“Rather than being formal, I’m simply being respectful, as it seems to be someone you value.”

“……Me?”

“Yes, you.”

Taejun tilted his head slightly. He didn’t quite understand what Secretary Choi meant.

“I don’t understand…”

“You said you were looking into this for Director Jin Youngmin, but surely you didn’t think I wouldn’t know that you don’t care for Director Jin that much.”

“Hmm…”

“Despite that, you personally visited Cha Haeshin’s workplace and even gave him your personal contact information. Need I explain further?”

“No. It’s fine.”

Taejun shook his head, having lost the argument before it even began. However, Secretary Choi didn’t stop.

“While we’re on the subject, I’d like to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“Why are you interested in Mr. Cha Haeshin?”

Taejun paused for a moment at the sudden directness, then leaned back in his chair and looked at Secretary Choi. Secretary Choi continued without averting his gaze.

“There’s no other reason. I’m simply curious because knowing the reason would allow me to carry out your instructions more efficiently.”

Taejun knew it wasn’t just an excuse. Secretary Choi was someone who, if given one task, would accomplish ten. He analyzed and understood Taejun’s intentions and desired outcomes, preparing in advance for anything that might be needed later.

So, if Taejun could honestly reveal his reasons for pursuing Cha Haeshin, he would undoubtedly be a great help.

“……It’s just curiosity.”

“…….”

“A bar worker, of all people… I wondered what was so special about him, you know?”

“It’s not a typical choice.”

“Yeah. That’s why.”

But Taejun didn’t reveal the real reason. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Choi Jungho, but rather that it would be inefficient.

At one point, Taejun had confided everything in Choi Jungho and asked for help. He had faith that Choi Jungho would believe him, and he also wanted his multifaceted assistance.

But in the end, Taejun’s attempts always failed. First, it took considerable effort to prove to him that he was repeating regressions, and even if he managed to do so, he would regress a few days later, making all Taejun’s efforts vanish overnight.

Moreover, after learning Taejun’s secret, Choi Jungho would become tormented in most rounds. He agonized over whether to believe Han Taejun or to quickly find and treat the obvious mental health issues Han Taejun was experiencing. He seemed to suffer, trying to decide which choice was the most loyal.

Therefore, there was no need for Taejun to take a path that caused Choi Jungho distress without yielding any tangible results.

“I was just curious why Jin Youngmin was so fixated on him.”

So Taejun brushed off Choi Jungho’s question again with a vague answer. Even without knowing all the facts, Choi Jungho was capable enough.

“Yes, I understand.”

Secretary Choi didn’t question him further. As long as it wasn’t something that could cause problems for Taejun, he didn’t object to his choices.

“Will you be going to Mr. Cha Haeshin’s house today?”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll handle it.”

“Yes. Please let me know if you need anything else.”

“Okay.”

After Secretary Choi left, Taejun swiveled his chair to look at the cityscape beyond the office window. He couldn’t remember when he had stopped expecting things to get better.

How to live one’s life.

A life deprived of even the basic right to make decisions, a right afforded to every human being, wasn’t living at all. He’d even seriously considered whether he was a character in a game.

Which was more miserable, a life where a human lived inhumanely, or a game character with self-awareness? Such thoughts made Han Taejun feel utterly powerless.

That’s why Han Taejun was interested in Cha Haeshin. It wasn’t personal affection; to put it in terms comparable to his own life, it felt like encountering a new quest after a very long time.

Lost and unsure of what to try next, he had discovered a new flag where he thought there would be none. So how could Han Taejun refuse him? From now on, Han Taejun’s goal was Cha Haeshin.

☂️

“Nice view.”

Reaching the end of the narrow, long staircase, Haeshin turned around and looked down, muttering to himself. The breath catching in his throat wasn’t unpleasant.

The houses lined up on either side of the uneven stairs felt both unfamiliar and familiar. Suddenly filled with a new sense of nostalgia, Haeshin took a deep breath and plopped down on the stairs.

The slum at dawn could be dangerous in many ways, but he didn’t care much. It wasn’t like he could die any more than he already had. Under the flickering streetlights, foul misfortunes lurked silently.

Haeshin had always desperately wanted to escape this neighborhood. Pay off his debts, save money, and first and foremost, get out of this wretched place. He worked tirelessly, dwelling on this goal.

But now, Haeshin was happy to return to this neighborhood. When he opened his eyes and saw the moldy wallpaper, he smiled, thinking, “I’m lucky this time.” Anywhere but the prison Jin Youngmin had created was fine.

Cha Haeshin’s life was so ironic. The place he threw himself into, thinking it was an escape, was an even deeper hell.

“Did I expect too much…?”

Haeshin’s voice drifted through the heavy dawn air. From somewhere in the distance, he heard the sound of something breaking, followed by a man’s yell and a woman’s cry. Once, someone on these stairs must have heard young Haeshin’s screams.

Haeshin didn’t love Jin Youngmin. Far from love, he always felt somewhat uncomfortable around him, even when he was being nice.

The decisive reason for marrying Jin Youngmin was for his mother’s treatment. He didn’t want his mother, who had suffered more than he had in hell her entire life, to die from an illness because of lack of money. That was the superficial reason.

But was that really all? Honestly, it would be a lie to say there was no selfish motive behind marrying for his mother. Haeshin wasn’t ashamed of his true feelings.

Haeshin wanted to be happy. That was all. Doesn’t everyone live pursuing happiness? Haeshin was no different.

Someone from the bottom of the barrel like Cha Haeshin had to abandon some sense of reality to live a positive and striving life. But that didn’t mean Haeshin couldn’t see reality clearly.

Paying off debts and saving money? It sounded nice. But his debts always grew faster than Haeshin could save. The poorer he was, the more this was true.

Haeshin wanted to escape the despair that was pulling him deeper into the mire, despite his desperate struggles. He wanted to live like a human being, not just barely scraping by. He thought that would be possible if he took Jin Youngmin’s hand.

So Haeshin married Jin Youngmin without love. That kind of love, he had no intention of experiencing with anyone anyway, so he justified it by thinking, what’s wrong with marrying someone who loves him?

Was that it? Because he was too greedy, because, as the owner said, a caterpillar should stick to pine needles but presumptuously dreamed of a human life, because he used someone’s feelings, was that why Cha Haeshin was receiving such a cruel punishment now?

Haeshin’s thoughts sank deeper and deeper. It was at that moment that he slapped himself across the face with tremendous force.

The sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed loudly. He hit himself so hard that his head rang and his palm tingled. It certainly brought him back to his senses.

“Crazy, I almost screwed up.”

Haeshin muttered, rubbing his already swelling cheek. What Cha Haeshin needed to be most wary of was this kind of melancholy.

Through countless regressions, Haeshin experienced the extremes of various emotions. He’d lived through many lives consumed by depression, and they always ended with him taking his own life.

If some shitty god or fate kept bringing him back to life, he would gladly die again. Driven by spite, wondering who would win, he had once, upon waking up, immediately searched for a knife and slit his throat.

But there were no shortcuts in Cha Haeshin’s life. If he ended his life by suicide, the next round would return him to his most horrific times.

The day he was most brutally abused, the day he was most miserably humiliated, days so horrific that even Cha Haeshin couldn’t help but be torn apart, both physically and mentally. He was thrown into those days without any escape.

After repeating such experiences a few times, a defiance he thought he had lost through exhaustion boiled up. If that shitty god was going to push him this far into misery, fine, he would refuse to give up on his happiness even more. That’s how Haeshin became half-mad and arrived at this point.

Dying countless times, reviving countless times, yet still, without ceasing to struggle to escape this hell.