Mother Tape Chapter 10.5

“I only recognized your worth.”

Jung Taegyu muttered in a voice feigning deep remorse.

“Didn’t I recognize your worth, unearth it, polish it to a shine, and let you meet people you would never have dared to meet if you had grown up ordinarily? Didn’t you see them all begging and crying in front of you? You could have had them in the palm of your hand if you just played your cards right, and yet you can be this ungrateful to me, the one who discovered and revealed that value to you!”

Jung Taegyu suddenly shouted.

However, Wisoo had grown. Wisoo, who had remained five years old while waiting for Jaekwon, was now a fully grown young man with favorite foods, things he was curious about, and even a dream. He was no longer frightened by that kind of shouting.

“Lies.”

Wisoo spat out the word with a look of disgust.

“You just used me. You used me, sold me out, used me as a signboard for your own selfishness, and used me to deceive people!”

Wisoo clenched his fists and poured out his resentment.

“You should at least be sorry, you should at least feel guilty! Teacher? You are nothing more than a petty thief who stole me. Apologize to me, I said apologize to me!”

Tears finally welled up in his eyes, but this was not due to sadness. It was because of anger.

Jaekwon wrapped an arm around Wisoo’s waist, pulling him into his embrace. Shhh, shhh, he tried to soothe him. It was not because he was so angry right now, but because he was afraid Wisoo might collapse.

“Apologize to me.”

Wisoo whimpered, breathing raggedly in Jaekwon’s arms.

“Say you are sorry to me. To me, and to Mr. Kwak Jaekwon too.”

I shouldn’t have said that… I should not have said that.

It was the end. It was not as if this would make him forgive Jung Taegyu or return to him, but for some reason, Wisoo felt this was the last chance. Not for himself, but for Jung Taegyu.

However, Jung Taegyu was himself to the very end.

“Why should I? I just found a talent that was rotting away and put it to use, and I just told Kwak Bonyoung what she wanted to hear. What Kwak Bonyoung wanted to hear was confirmation of her own suspicions, that was it. I told her what she wanted, so why should I apologize to Kwak Jaekwon? Did I physically push him myself?”

Ah… It was over. This was the end. Wisoo had seen the very bottom of Jung Taegyu.

He had told him to say what he saw. Showing him the Kwak Bonyoung couple, Jung Taegyu had cruelly pinched his back. It was a warning that if he did not say what he saw, he would pinch him more and act more frighteningly.

But he should not have said it, even if his back was torn to shreds. After saying such things, going to Mr. Kwak Jaekwon and telling him he would take away the scary things was meaningless.

“I am sorry.”

In the end, it was Wisoo who apologized. And at Wisoo’s feet, without anyone knowing, not even Wisoo himself, a shadow stealthily lengthened and stretched out toward Jung Taegyu like seaweed.

Even though he had been told not to apologize, Wisoo sobbed, wiping his face frantically with his hands.

“I am sorry. I should not have said such things. I should not have said anything at all. I, I should have not seen anything, should not, should not have been able to see…”

The person who should be apologizing was someone else, yet the one suffering was also Seon Wisoo. Jaekwon felt as if all his limbs were being torn apart. Holding Wisoo, he bent his waist as if to hide him, raising only his head to glare at Jung Taegyu.

At that moment, Jung Taegyu shot up from his seat. It was a movement as if he were possessed by something. He abruptly stood up and began to run, as if fleeing or chasing something. Below his feet, the shadow that should have formed behind him now formed in front, slithering and dancing. The hair on Jung Taegyu’s head stood on end. As if someone were pulling it.

“Huh, huh? That bastard!”

Hwang Gujo was blocking the mountain trail. Jung Taegyu tried to go the opposite way, but realizing there was a bodyguard there too, he ran diagonally. Was that his own will? One would not know unless Jung Taegyu said so, but he looked panicked.

In any case, it was the wrong choice. This was not a mountain with high altitude, but it was a place made of sharp, pointed rocks. The ground was slippery, and unless one wore sturdy hiking shoes like Kwak Jaekwon, it was entirely possible to fall.

When Jung Taegyu got up, Jaekwon was also running. Realizing the mountain path before him could not be called a path, Jung Taegyu turned around, clenching his teeth.

“Stop right there!”

Who knows where he had hidden it, but in Jung Taegyu’s hand was a box cutter. A box cutter, of all things. It was not even funny. Did he think he would be intimidated by something like that? Jaekwon let out a hollow laugh and approached slowly. He looked like a tiger with its prey before it.

And even though he must have known it would not work in the slightest, Jung Taegyu waved his hand around. A sin was being added to a sin.

“M, Mr. Kwak Jaekwon.”

A pale-faced Wisoo called out to him, but Hwang Gujo caught him.

“Stay still.”

Hwang Gujo was calling the bodyguards who would be up above. As the sound of them rushing down was heard from a distance, Jung Taegyu’s expression became gaunt.

Jaekwon waved a hand.

“Give me the knife and come here. At worst, you will only be in prison for a few years, are you that scared of it?”

Unfortunately, even if all of Jung Taegyu’s charges were accepted, his sentence was not expected to be that long. In the case of bribery, the people involved would surely cut ties, and the matter would be vaguely buried and likely end with a judgment for dealing in stolen goods. Jung Taegyu had calculated that as well.

Clenching his jaw, Jung Taegyu jutted his chin. The shadow that had been consistently in front of him while he ran was now undulating behind him.

“Do you think you can handle living with Seon Wisoo? He is only useful to me; to others, he is nothing more and nothing less than a madman who spouts nonsense and sees things.”

“I have tried living with him, and it is quite fun. I think I will live better than you.”

“That is fine once or twice, but will you be able to look at him and not think of your mother?”

“That is what I am worried about too. That Seon Wisoo will look at me and be reminded of Kwak Bonyoung.”

Jaekwon strode toward Jung Taegyu. Startled, Jung Taegyu swung the knife. Hwang Gujo, who saw Jaekwon deftly step back, tried to cover Seon Wisoo’s eyes but failed.

“Do not worry about us.”

Jaekwon said with a relaxed smile.

“You will not be hearing any news from us from now on, so why bother worrying for nothing.”

For a moment, Jaekwon thought he saw his mother. But it was not true. It was also Seokho and countless other dead things. They were circling around Jung Taegyu.

“And it seems I am pretty crazy myself.”

Jaekwon muttered, his gaze slowly following them as they headed for Jung Taegyu’s ankle.

“I think we are a good match. Mr. Seon Wisoo and I.”

They all gathered their hands and abruptly pulled one of Jung Taegyu’s ankles backward.

With a short, guttural scream of “Ugh,” Jung Taegyu was yanked backward.

That moment seemed to pass in very slow motion. Seon Wisoo’s lips parted slightly. The knife was still in the fingertips of Jung Taegyu, who was flailing desperately to live, and it swiftly slashed Kwak Jaekwon’s anorak. As if waiting for it to happen, Jaekwon, who had his arm there, let out a short sigh of “Ah,” and futilely clenched and unclenched his hand in the air.

Jung Taegyu saw it. That Jaekwon was looking straight at him. That he could have caught him but did not.

Am I going to die like this?

Jung Taegyu blinked in the slowly moving world. At that moment, all the things that had been invisible to his eyes became visible. The dead things were there. All the dead things Jung Taegyu had used flocked to him, making the path of his fall a little softer and catching him bit by bit, slowing his descent.

And as they did, they cackled. The laughter, filled with ecstasy, crept little by little through the cracks in Jung Taegyu’s fracturing skull.

The dead things knew. That sometimes, being alive can be more painful than being dead.

❖ ❖ ❖

Jung Taegyu awoke in pain. He wanted to let out a groan, but his mouth and throat were so full of tubes that he could not say a word.

Fumbling with the hand he could barely move, he frantically pressed the button to get a dose of painkiller. As he pressed it like a madman, a languid and rich low voice reached his ears.

“It is no use pressing it. Nothing is going to come out.”

Jung Taegyu’s eyes flew open. He certainly thought he had opened them.

Due to his head and the torn area around his eye, only his right eye and nose were barely visible on his face. His left arm was also broken, and both legs were fractured. Still, they said the injuries were minor for someone who had rolled down a rocky mountain. That was good news for Jaekwon, too.

“Originally, I was going to catch you, but it seems there were a few others who had the same idea as me. You seem to have made a lot of enemies. We have to give them a fair chance, right.”

Barely rolling his eyes to the side, he saw Jaekwon sitting with his legs crossed, peeling an apple. The paring knife in his hand looked particularly like a weapon.

Jaekwon was using the paring knife to cut the flesh of the fruit and bring it to his mouth. Unafraid, he slid the piece on the knife into his mouth and grinned. The tip of the paring knife pointed at Jung Taegyu.

“Anyway, I am glad you woke up. Do you know how much I prayed for you to live?”

Watching this, Jung Taegyu trembled. His glistening eyes looked like those of a madman who had stabbed someone hundreds, thousands of times. But that was a misunderstanding. Kwak Jaekwon had never committed murder. By Jung Taegyu surviving, the first murder he might have committed never happened at all.

“The reason I prayed for your survival… was so that not even a sliver of guilt for your death would be left with Wisoo.”

Jaekwon muttered, cutting the fruit piece by piece and placing them on a plate. Then he meticulously wiped his hands with a wet wipe. The fruit, which could not be eaten, lay there literally like a picture of a rice cake.

He was terribly thirsty. Unable to even move his tongue freely due to the intubation, Jung Taegyu looked at the apple with desperate eyes. Jaekwon, knowing that gaze, simply watched with his elbow propped on his thigh.

“I asked them to do their best to treat you.”

Jaekwon spoke as if reading a shopping list.

“And when you recover, you will be summoned to stand trial. I predict the sentencing will be, at most, one or two years in prison.”

“Ugh, ughh, uh…”

“After serving your time and getting out, you will have nothing. Everyone will turn their backs on you, and what little assets you held onto will all be stripped away, and you will just grow old miserably.”

“Ughh! Ugh… ughh…!”

“But that would be too simple. So, to that end, someone I sent will be waiting for you in front of the prison.”

Jaekwon quietly raised the corners of his mouth into a smile.

“You will be taken somewhere in that car, and it is a place you know, so far from being unfamiliar, you will be glad to see it. I am talking about that place disguised as a mental hospital, where you had Wisoo institutionalized.”

“Ugh, ughh! Ugh!”

“How many years was Wisoo there?”

“Ughh! Ughhhhhh!”

“That is not important.”

Just saying Wisoo’s name made him miss him like crazy. He always missed him, but now it was becoming harder to bear. He had already wasted a good amount of precious time here, having heard that he would likely wake up around today.

Jaekwon rose from his seat, slinging the jacket that had been draped over the back of the chair onto his arm.

“Anyway, you will be living there for the rest of your life, so you do not need to worry about your future arrangements. I will take responsibility for you until you die. I owe you one. So…”

Jaekwon, dressed in a suit, looked like nothing more than a polite and ascetic man. The words coming from such a person’s mouth, contrary to his tone, were quite cruel.

But it was probably a cruel thing only to Jung Taegyu.

Jaekwon approached Jung Taegyu, bent his waist, took the painkiller button, and placed it back in his hand.

“Let us see each other often, shall we?”

Jung Taegyu’s one visible eye widened and trembled.

Only moans that could not form into words flowed out violently. Jaekwon walked out of the hospital room, whistling slowly. He closed the hospital room door quietly and politely, and gave a smiling nod to the nurses at the station. Then he got on the elevator and adjusted his tie.

His hands smelled of clean disinfectant. I should get a pheromone suppressant shot before I leave. And let us buy some donuts on the way.

In Jaekwon’s mind, Jung Taegyu had already been bleached away and was gone.

❖ ❖ ❖

Jaekwon officially submitted his resignation to his workplace, where he had been on a leave of absence. This time, there was no room for hesitation, and his resignation was finally accepted.

After deciding to stay in Korea to find Seon Wisoo, the first thing he did was, of course, find a house. Jaekwon found a house not in the city center, but in a quiet place on the outskirts.

It was an old house. But he was told it was built very sturdily. It looked that way at a glance.

“How is the site?”

Jaekwon asked, moving the lollipop he had in his mouth to his hand.

“The site? I found a feng shui expert to choose this spot. It is strange, young people these days only care if it faces south or west.”

“It is a detached house.”

Jaekwon tried to be evasive, then chuckled.

“The person I will be living with is a bit sensitive about such things.”

“Your parents?”

“No. My spouse.”

They had not talked about things like marriage yet, but they had had a conversation on a similar topic. Thinking about it now made Jaekwon a little embarrassed. No matter how much he wanted to deny it, it was undeniably a marriage proposal. ‘Shall we get married?’—what a boring proposal.

“Then this place is absolutely perfect. The site is good, and the amount of sunlight is just fantastic.”

Jaekwon walked around slowly with his hands in his pockets. The property itself was large. The garden would be hard to maintain, so maybe it would be nice to lay down pea gravel for a pleasant walking experience, or maybe lay down fine soil and place a solar-powered light and a table on top to create a small tea-drinking space.

Ah, I should probably lay the gravel a bit later. Since a kid who will be falling over often will be here soon.

A smile appeared without him realizing it. Jaekwon, who had been stroking his chin, nodded his head.

“It is nice. I like it.”

And so, the remodeling began.

Jaekwon was almost pathologically meticulous in choosing a contractor. He carefully selected and screened each worker, worried that the dregs of the already collapsed Hyegwang might be parasitizing some remaining business.

He said it was fine if it took a long time, but he hoped it would not go past spring. There was enough time for remodeling. The reason it had to be done before spring passed was because he thought that if Wisoo could just safely get through the critical period, he would probably give birth around that time.

On his way back to Seoul, Jaekwon turned up the radio volume. A news brief passed by, saying that Vice Director Son Euijeong had been urgently arrested while trying to leave the country. It was said to be due to a collective lawsuit for illegal solicitation and medical malpractice. Traces of money laundering were found in his account, and Korea’s highly advanced system had found it. As if it knew the money would pass this way.

Changing the channel to classical music, Jaekwon hummed softly along with the tune. The Vice Director had illegally colluded in Seon Wisoo’s forced constitutional change and had provided significant cooperation. Wisoo could have died from it, and the Vice Director, being a medical professional, was more than aware of that.

But he did it, and Wisoo lived. Wisoo’s survival itself became revenge. Because he lived and met him, and he, on Wisoo’s behalf, had accomplished, albeit inadequately, what needed to be done.

The path of the dirty money that had passed through was one that Kwak Jaekyung had paved. He had just slightly twisted the route. Everything was easy.

❖ ❖ ❖

“Do you know the Dunning-Kruger effect?”

Recently, Jaekwon had visited Jung Taegyu one more time.

“I like that theory.”

Jung Taegyu’s complexion was dark and dead from enduring the pain completely without painkillers.

“It says that stupid people never know they are stupid, and it fits you perfectly when applied to you.”

“……”

“Thank you for deluding yourself into thinking you are smarter than others. When you were simply much more cowardly and quite a bit more sinister than others.”

Jaekwon fanned Jung Taegyu’s face gently. A sense of happiness flowed from Jaekwon as he propped up his chin and closed his eyes.

“And… Wisoo is…”

Jung Taegyu, who had recently had his breathing tube removed, asked in a parched voice. A cracking sound was made every time his lips parted.

“Ah, our Wisoo is doing well.”

Jaekwon stood up, placing the fan in Jung Taegyu’s hand.

“He does not even look for you. Around the time you are released, he will hear the news that a person named Jung Taegyu, no, Im Yonghee, has died. I think he will forget you so completely that he will feel nothing even when he hears that news.”

Jung Taegyu’s eye flew open when his real name flowed from Jaekwon’s lips. Still, it was only one visible eye.

“I should get going.”

Jaekwon looked at his wristwatch and stood up. Jaekwon stood, stretching his back straight. With the lamp light behind him, he looked all the more massive.

“Well then, let us see each other again.”

This was probably the first time for Jung Taegyu that such a casual greeting felt so terrifying.

Looking at Jaekwon, who was completely obscured in shadow by the backlight, Jung Taegyu trembled all over before his eyes rolled back.

Jaekwon exiting the door and the medical staff rushing in were visible. But a massive shadow, like Jaekwon’s body, remained there, flickering to and fro. It was an ironic thing. The power to see these things, which he had so envied and coveted from Seon Wisoo, had finally come to him, yet it did not feel joyful at all and was felt only as a curse.

The dead things, which had been clustered together like a single mass, cackled, kkak, kkak, kkakkak.

❖ ❖ ❖

He could see Jung Taegyu swinging his hand. The day was bright and the sun was fully out, so he also saw his hand glinting.

‘No…!’

Wisoo tried to run, tearing away Hwang Gujo’s arm that was trying to stop him, but his strength was not enough.

I am too late again, he will get hurt because of me again.

In his field of vision, the falling Jung Taegyu was not visible; only Kwak Jaekwon could be seen.

‘No…! Anyone but him…!’

“Hah.”

Wisoo’s eyes flew open as his arms and legs twitched violently.

When he opened his eyes, it was not the mountain, nor was it in front of the mountain cabin. A clean ceiling was visible. The new house, which he had arrived at while dozing off after being discharged from the hospital, which he had not had a chance to properly look at before falling asleep again, and which was still unfamiliar and whose layout he did not know.

“I am telling you, I really hate this kind of play.”

Hwang Gujo’s grumbling voice came through the half-open door.

“It is not play, it is a punishment.”

“Aish. If Kwak Jaekwon, who likes punishments, does it, that is play.”

“I do not like punishments?”

“I know your tastes…”

“Your? Pick one, just one. Is it Kwak Jaekwon, your, or President.”

“It has already been three months since you officially announced your resignation via video conference, so what do you mean, President. And I am personally employed, not yet employed by your company.”

“Then call me Mr. Kwak Jaekwon.”

“If I call you that, Wisoo will get jealous.”

“Wisoo? I guess my jealousy is not shit, huh?”

It seemed Jaekwon was back. Listening to the seamless back-and-forth conversation with Hwang Gujo, Wisoo swept a hand over his frantically beating chest.

That day, Jaekwon had only been very lightly cut on the arm, and Jung Taegyu, just like Kwak Jaekyung had been, was handed over to the hospital with an ambulance and a police car arriving simultaneously. He was told he would stand trial and be punished. So, the dream he had just had was a rotten memory whose expiration date had long passed.

Wisoo slowly pulled his legs out from under the blanket. His legs were still trembling from the aftereffects of the dream.

Just then, Jaekwon pushed open the door and came in. Jaekwon’s eyes, which had been loosening his tie while holding the doorknob, found Wisoo, widened slightly, then returned to normal.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Just a little while ago.”

Jaekwon approached, stroked Wisoo’s forehead, and then clicked his tongue.

“Looks like you had another nightmare.”

“I woke up right away.”

Wisoo rubbed his cheek against Jaekwon’s hand, then lightly stroked his arm. It was where he had been injured. The cut was long but shallow. The waterproof tape that remained stuck on it always upset him, even after hearing it was just a surface-level scrape.

“I will go wash up. I smell like the hospital.”

Seeing Wisoo’s darkened expression, Jaekwon raised his arm and sniffed.

“……”

Wisoo watched Jaekwon’s back as he undressed without hesitation, then got back into bed.

Wisoo had been forbidden by Jaekwon from going out. He had been confined without a word countless times, but this was the first time he had been scolded with a feigned stern voice, saying, ‘You did not listen and put your own body in danger, so you will have no complaints about being grounded for a while, right?’

Thanks to that, Hwang Gujo was having a hard time. Because he was assigned to be Wisoo’s watchman, his very extroverted personality was unintentionally keeping him stuck at home.

As for Wisoo himself, he was comfortable. He was prone to falling asleep at the drop of a hat anyway.

However, he had become noticeably less talkative. Wisoo had not noticed, but Jaekwon and Hwang Gujo had already realized it and were keeping him under careful observation.

“What do you want to do today?”

The sound of water could be heard because he was showering with the bathroom door left open. Wisoo leaned his body diagonally against the headboard of the bed and kept his mouth shut. There was nothing in particular he wanted to do.

“Is there nothing you want to eat either?”

Soon the sound of water stopped, and the rustling sound of foam was heard. Jaekwon’s voice was as light as if nothing had happened until now.

“I bought some cake. Go out and eat it with Hwang Gujo.”

Only then did Wisoo get up and carefully go outside.

As he left quietly without a single reply, Jaekwon poked his wet body out to check on Wisoo. The room was already empty as he had gone out to the living room.

Tsk, clicking his tongue, he went back to washing his body.

“Oh. Mr. Wisoo.”

Hwang Gujo was standing there, holding a dripper in one hand and a kettle in the other.

“Come here and sit down. I think you will have to drink water since you cannot drink coffee yet, Mr. Wisoo. Or should I give you some juice?”

Wisoo shook his head and picked up a glass of water.

His face was dazed, as if he was not fully awake, or as if drowsiness was washing over him again, making his wakefulness pointless. Hwang Gujo observed Wisoo carefully while pretending not to.

He still had not gained back his weight like before. He was receiving harmless nutritional supplements periodically through an IV, and they had even brought the equipment home to receive house calls. If it were anyone else, Hwang Gujo would have said a word about it being too overprotective, but since the subjects were Seon Wisoo and also Kwak Jaekwon, he did not say anything. There was no need to. Worrying about Kwak Jaekwon’s wealth was as pointless as worrying that the stars in the universe might suddenly disappear.

“How is it?”

Jaekwon asked, coming out wearing a robe identical to Wisoo’s but in a different size. Standing behind Wisoo and reaching out with just his arm to lick the cake cream did not look ill-mannered but rather like a scene from an erotic magazine.

Of course, not in Hwang Gujo’s eyes.

“Aish, how ill-mannered!”

“You have your own piece anyway.”

Jaekwon took a seat right next to Wisoo and cut the soft sponge with a fork for him.

Wisoo was quiet. He just took the cut piece and cut it into even smaller pieces before bringing it to his mouth. Hwang Gujo made a sign with his eyes to Jaekwon, and even though Jaekwon must have noticed, he pretended not to see.

However, to comment further, Hwang Gujo knew well that their relationship was not deep enough for him to do so.

More than anything, now that he knew Wisoo’s past well, he also knew that rushing things would not work.

“Is it delicious?”

Jaekwon watched Wisoo nod without a word and smiled with satisfaction. He really treats him like his own child. Hwang Gujo shook his head but could not help but smile in the end. After all, had there not been too many things that happened to arrive at this scene?

Sensing the gaze, Jaekwon, while wiping the cream that had smeared on Wisoo’s mouth from a misaimed forkful, asked Hwang Gujo.

“Are you not leaving?”

“Hah, honestly!”

Hwang Gujo grumbled and got up from his seat.

“I was about to leave anyway. I am a busy person, you know?”

At those words, Wisoo asked with his eyes where he was going. Hwang Gujo, whose intuition had become sharp from spending time with Kwak Jaekwon, understood just from his gaze and answered.

“It is a vacation. I am going to do some sightseeing. This is an unfamiliar country to me too. I am going to do some sightseeing and then come back.”

“Buy a souvenir.”

“Why do not you give me some money then?”

“A paid vacation should be enough.”

But even though he said that, Hwang Gujo knew he always deposited more than enough, so he grinned.

In his car was a large suitcase, the reward for working while cutting down even on his sleeping hours for the past few months. Since he was someone who liked to move his body, he intended to conquer all the famous mountains. By the time he returned from his vacation, many more things would have changed naturally. There would be a Seon Wisoo who had grown accustomed to a state where there were no longer any rules to restrain him.

With even Hwang Gujo gone, Wisoo felt like an audience member left alone even after all the ending credits had rolled. Even though he himself had never been to a movie theater.

Even after hearing that Jung Taegyu was hospitalized and would stand trial, he could not shake the feeling that it was all over. He still felt as if he was in a long state of suspended animation.

Jaekwon cleared away all the leftover cake and came out after changing his clothes. In the meantime, Wisoo was dozing off. He roughly guessed that this was not just one of his symptoms but a state of psychological self-defense.

“Mr. Seon Wisoo.”

Jaekwon gently wrapped his arm around Wisoo’s shoulder and helped him up. Jaekwon held the hand of Wisoo, who stood up bewildered, tightly.

“We have to tour the house.”

“Ah, right…”

Wisoo, who had lived his whole life wandering without a space to call his own or staying in rooms that could not be called homes, played along but could not feel the reality of it.

Jaekwon first took Wisoo to the second floor. On the second floor, there was a large room with an arched entryway instead of a door.

“You have to decide the color for this place, Mr. Seon Wisoo.”

For now, it was just a white space. Wisoo looked around the room and asked back.

“Me? Why?”

“Because it is going to be the baby’s room.”

Wisoo blinked his eyes. He had never properly talked about a child with Jaekwon, so it felt even more unreal.

Being surprised cleared his head a little.

It did not stop there. Jaekwon also took Wisoo to the second-floor bathroom. Large tiles with a somewhat rough surface to prevent slipping were laid out.

“If you do not like the second floor, we can sleep on the second floor. Or I was thinking of making that room at the end a study, but we can make it a bedroom too.”

It felt as if he had been sucked into a wonderland. The one holding him was the White Rabbit. A very large White Rabbit, though. Wisoo also went to the room at the end that Jaekwon had mentioned. Warm sunlight streamed in, dyeing the wallpaper a soft tone.

“It is desolate without furniture. We will be a bit busy for a while. We have plenty of time, so let us enjoy these small pleasures, I guess.”

The large White Rabbit headed back to the first floor.

His already cautious steps became even more careful as he went down the stairs. That was how Wisoo noticed something he had not realized on the way up. A carpet was laid on the stairs. It seemed to be completely fixed in place. The plush and soft material protected all the sharp corners so that he would not get seriously hurt even if he happened to fall.

Gradually, Wisoo’s field of vision was widening. The surroundings started to become visible, as if coming out of a very narrow tunnel. Wisoo saw the dark oak-colored stair railing and the wallpaper with a refreshing hint of lemon. It was similar to Kwak Bonyoung’s house, yet completely different.

“And here.”

Jaekwon had Wisoo stand in the middle of the living room and then headed to the living room table. From the low, wide table that did not even reach his knees, he picked up a small remote control and grabbed a few of the many candies in a bowl. Instantly putting one in his own mouth, he approached Wisoo while pressing the remote. Before Wisoo even realized it, he was sucking on the candy Jaekwon had put in his mouth. Ah, it was lemon-flavored. So very refreshing.

Kwak Jaekyung had brought him pineapple juice, but he had not tasted anything. But next to Jaekwon, everything tasted proper. And….

“I did not like how all the places Mr. Seon Wisoo stayed were so gloomy.”

Jaekwon deliberately spoke lightly.

Wisoo knew what the remote was for. The glass, which had been as dark as a wall, was slowly brightening. Wisoo’s mouth opened along with it. As if drawn unconsciously, he approached the window that took up the entire front. The very warm sunlight was lemon-colored like the candy he was holding, and the carpet that cozily wrapped around the soles of his feet was as white as a cloud.

Was the world always this bright?

“How is it. If you do not like it, I can make it dark again.”

“No.”

Wisoo shook his head at the voice that whispered while firmly wrapping around his shoulder.

“No. I like it. I really, really like it….”

“The carpet delivery is a bit late. I am going to lay down more. You tend to hop around a bit when you are excited, Mr. Seon Wisoo. I am worried you will fall. And I just went with a beige tone for the bathroom. I know you like blue, but it reminded me of the previous house, so I did not like that. Is that okay?”

It did not sound like a house tour. Wisoo felt Jaekwon’s gentle voice was like a wind shaking him awake.

“The color blue… I said that because it reminded me of your pheromones, Mr. Kwak Jaekwon.”

Wisoo whispered.

“Your pheromones, Mr. Kwak Jaekwon, feel like blue ink.”

“Really? Is not the smell of ink not that great?”

“No. I like it. I like it so much.”

“That sounds like you are saying you like me.”

At the mischievous question, Wisoo turned to look. He had a face that looked like he was about to cry, so Jaekwon’s expression also changed, influenced by it.

“You did not know?”

“……”

“I told you I was scared.”

“You did say you were scared.”

“I like you as much as I am scared.”

“What that means is….”

“It means I love you.”

Wisoo threw his arms around Jaekwon in a tight hug.

“I have no right to, but is it okay if I do?”

“Do what. Are you asking if you can like me?”

Wisoo nodded his head eagerly. Jaekwon stroked Wisoo’s shoulder, hummed, then carefully pulled him away. Then he sat him down on the sofa that occupied the living room. It was one of the few pieces of furniture in the house.

“It is me who would be in trouble if you said you do not like me now….”

Wisoo, who looked frightened after confessing, stared at Jaekwon. Jaekwon ran a hand through his hair, coughed needlessly, and then knelt down on one knee.

“Do you not know what I have been saying all this time?”

“…Together…”

“Yes. Together.”

“…You want to live… together…?”

“That is a relief. I am glad you understood that much. But not just as a housemate, and not as a guardian. The uncool thing I said before, do you remember that too?”

Jaekwon had said, let us get married for you, Seon Wisoo. Wisoo had never once wished for Jaekwon to sacrifice himself for him. He certainly did not wish for him to be tied to him. Because he did not want to drag him down to where he was.

But now….

Lemon-candy-like sunlight poured in, drenching Jaekwon and Wisoo in equal measure. Wisoo shifted his feet a little and moved completely into the sunlight.

“You do not want to?”

He now realized for the first time that Jaekwon’s tone became grumbling when he was a little embarrassed.

“My education level is also low.”

“That is a problem that can be solved.”

“I do not have any friends either.”

“You have Hwang Gujo, do you not. A friend.”

“I do not have parents either.”

“Me neither.”

Wisoo lowered his head. A tear fell, plop.

“I have nothing. Really. There is nothing I am good at, nothing I am great at, no strengths. I can like you all I want on my own, Mr. Kwak Jaekwon, but it does not have to be me for you, Mr. Kwak Jaekwon.”

“……”

“Does it… have to be me?”

“Yes.”

Kwak Jaekwon answered calmly.

“Yes.”

He affirmed it again.

“Otherwise, I think I will die.”

“……”

“Wisoo-ya. Do not kill me.”

His was a life that would have stopped living on its own after Kwak Bonyoung was gone and there was no revenge left in his life. Why was he alive and going to that distant land to even attend the funeral? He asked constantly while looking down at the clouds from the sky, but no answer came. But he thought he had to go.

It must have been because you were here.

“…Do you think you will not be reminded of your mother when you look at me?”

“Will you be able to not be reminded of Kwak Bonyoung when you look at me?”

“I might see strange things again, and the baby might too.”

“Two babies can see some strange things. I like watching horror movies too.”

“I am not joking….”

“Yes. I am not joking either. So, are you done now?”

Wisoo was at a loss for words.

He tried to draw out more, but nothing came to mind. Since he had nothing, he also had few flaws. Just as no strengths came to mind, no weaknesses came to mind either.

Only then did Jaekwon smile faintly. He reached his arm back and took out another candy. He placed one in Wisoo’s mouth and put one in his own again.

“So, you are not going to live with me? Because of those nonsensical reasons?”

At the sun-like taste spreading in his mouth, Wisoo’s expression gradually crumpled.

It crumpled like a child’s. Jaekwon had seen Wisoo cry several times, but this was a first. For Wisoo, crying was either the physiological tears that burst out during sex or tears that he shed as if he did not even know he was crying.

Like a real child, Wisoo reached out his arms and sought Jaekwon. As he was embraced in those arms, a sound of “Heo-eong,” fell with the words he had been wanting to hear by his ear.

“I want to live.”

“Yes. Me too.”

“I want to live with Mr. Kwak Jaekwon. I like Mr. Kwak Jaekwon so much. If Mr. Kwak Jaekwon is not here, I have no reason to live either.”

“That is right. Me too.”

Jaekwon closed his eyes and patted Wisoo, holding him.

Because of the way he was sitting below, it looked as though Wisoo was hugging Jaekwon.

Jaekwon carefully lifted Wisoo into his arms. Even while he did so, Wisoo cried, and Jaekwon closed the bedroom door with his foot.

It was dark inside. But it was not a heavy, sticky darkness. Wisoo gripped Jaekwon’s clothes as if he would never let him go, and Jaekwon continuously kissed Wisoo’s body wherever his lips touched.

It feels like a warm lump is about to surge up. Jaekwon let out a moist laugh, “Ha.” By the time he had finished crying, Wisoo had released all his tension and fallen asleep, leaning his body completely against Jaekwon’s.

Only then did the postponed sleep come crashing down on Jaekwon as well. He could no longer hold it back. Jaekwon also entrusted his body to the foam of the encroaching sleep.

❖ ❖ ❖

“It will not take long.”

Even though it was chilly, it was not yet winter, but Jaekwon bundled Wisoo up tightly.

“It is nearby.”

Saying that, he put him in the car and headed somewhere.

Wisoo’s eyelids were swollen from crying to the point of exhaustion yesterday. So were his cheeks. Jaekwon had to press his lips together so hard that dimples formed on his cheeks to keep from laughing every time he looked.

“Is this it?”

Wisoo, who had been dragged out without knowing where he was going, held Jaekwon’s hand and climbed a low hill.

“We are here.”

And the place they arrived at was a hill warmly enveloped as if the desolation of late autumn had skipped over this place alone.

The top of the hill was flattened and it seemed new grass had been planted, as the smell of grass was thick. And in the middle of it stood two tombstones.

“I was not sure if my parents got along well or not.”

“Ah…”

“But for now, I respected them as individuals and set them up separately.”

On them were written the names of his parents, which even Wisoo did not know.

“Are these… my parents’ names?”

He was three years old. An age where he would hear his parents’ names and forget them, asking again and again. He had separated from them when he had just gotten used to the titles of mom and dad, reunited occasionally, and then parted forever.

And now, he was here again.

“How, how did you know?”

“There are things called documents. It was not difficult.”

“This is….”

“I did it on the side while granting my mother’s request, so you do not have to be so grateful.”

He had barely managed to find the person named Seokho’s older sister. After much searching, he found him living in Vladivostok. Jaekwon found out from him where the person named Seokho was buried, exhumed him from a ruin-like grave that did not even have a proper burial mound, found a good spot, and buried him next to Suyeon.

While doing so, he thought of Wisoo’s parents. Their bodies were even harder to find. He thought he should at least set up tombstones for them. Not because he was naturally kind and good-hearted, but because he wanted to give Seon Wisoo at least one thing to remember that he, too, had parents.

“It is close, so let us come often.”

Wisoo blankly mulled over the two three-character names, then nodded his head.

Still, his surname was his own.

He had been at the point of doubting even his name. But only after seeing the three characters of his name did he feel relieved that at least his surname was definitely his own.

“Shall we go down?”

Wisoo quietly nodded his head.

On the way down, Jaekwon carried Wisoo on his back. His protests were not listened to in the slightest. Instead, Wisoo, who wrapped his arms tightly around Jaekwon’s neck so that he would be as comfortable as possible, whispered.

“Let us come again next time.”

“Okay.”

“And… thank you.”

After saying that, as if embarrassed, Wisoo completely buried his face in Jaekwon’s back.

❖ ❖ ❖

Wisoo, who had been napping with Jaekwon, woke up and came out first. Jaekwon had given Wisoo his arm as a pillow and was in a deep sleep, still in the same hugging position.

Wisoo, who came out first, ate the pineapple juice and egg bread that Jaekwon had prepared at the dining table while solving a workbook. He was already on the middle school third-year curriculum. Math was difficult, Korean was easy, and history was fun. Although he would not be able to take it this year, he planned to pass all the middle school qualification exams next year. After that, he wanted to take the high school qualification exam and even aim for the university entrance exam.

Wisoo, who was solving the problems, turned his head when round, spotted shadows were cast over his workbook.

Snow was falling outside the living room’s full-length window, which was almost always kept transparent. It was the first snow of the year, and unlike the usual granular snow of the first snowfall, it was round like dandelion seeds.

As if mesmerized, Wisoo walked towards the window. The snow, falling quietly without a single gust of wind, seemed to have the power to stop even time. Wisoo blankly looked at the window, then crouched down in front of it. The inside of the house was so cozy and warm that he felt even that snow would not be cold but like warm cotton if he touched it.

The snow was piling up softly while he sat there, unaware of the passing of time. By the time the snow became more visible than the yard, Jaekwon came out of the room.

He, who came out with a long yawn from a short nap, saw the round figure in front of the window and wiped his face. Even after wiping his face, the scenery that did not disappear was there.

Jaekwon quietly made a cup of cocoa and a cup of coffee so as not to disturb Wisoo. He even floated a marshmallow resembling snow on the cocoa. He, who came with two mugs, sat next to Wisoo in the same posture and held out a mug.

“……”

Wisoo, without being surprised, looked at him and accepted the mug. The temperature, adjusted so that it would not burn him even if he drank it right away, was warm and harmless.

“I did not know snow was this pretty.”

At the blankly uttered sentiment, Jaekwon nodded and drank his coffee.

“You will know every year now.”

The marshmallow slowly melted into the cocoa.

“Every year, every winter you will know that snow is pretty, in the spring you will know that flowers bloom, in the summer you will know that cicadas cry and rain falls, and in the autumn you will know that the leaves change color.”

There would be no more days of barely seeing through a small window or letting time pass by without feeling anything in a basement.

Wisoo was quietly being buried in silence and peace. But it was not like being crushed; it was like slowly floating on a sea of blue ink.

Wisoo, who was staring at the window, leaned his head on Jaekwon’s shoulder without any hesitation or self-consciousness. Jaekwon wrapped his arm around Wisoo’s shoulder.

A ring sparkled on the hand wrapped around Wisoo’s shoulder. The same was true for Wisoo’s hand holding the mug.

The vessel, Seon Wisoo, who spoke on behalf of the dead things that could not leave and remained, no longer exists. Now, only Seon Wisoo, who will write his own story and sing his own song every year, every season, every day, remained. The story of Seon Wisoo and Kwak Jaekwon, a copy of no one, will be played forever. Quietly, and clearly.