If Silk Flowers Bloom by the Water’s Edge Chapter 19

The younger son, who was slow to speak and only began to ask for what he wanted to eat and have when he was four. His favorite colors, favorite tastes, disliked vegetables, disliked fruits…. His parents, hoping to broaden the slow Yirok’s world, took him to an amusement park with a sledding hill on weekends and went to see the large stingrays at the aquarium on holidays.

“Mom. Then what’s that?”

“Which one?”

“The white thing on the tree.”

But his parents could never see the white cloth caught on the tree branch. There were things that even his parents, who seemed to know everything about the world, did not know.

As time passed, Yirok showed various symptoms, repeating cycles of improvement and deterioration. He would talk to empty air, curl up on the living room sofa with his ears covered, see dead people, or know who was going to die. Realizing it was more than simple hallucinations, his parents started attending church at the suggestion of those around them around the time he was to enter elementary school.

Did they say to press a god with another god? His symptoms did alleviate to some extent, but it all became for naught when he met Sarira two years later.

After coming to the chukjangji, whenever a goblin spoke to him, Yirok would injure his own body with a knife or something sharp. Of course, injuring himself was also effective when he was in a foul mood.

Feeling pain allows for a shift in thought. What began with a mechanical pencil lead evolved to a compass, a needle, and so on. The chukjangji was a place where one could see goblins with the naked eye without any special devices, so a box cutter became a necessity.

The warrior ability bestowed upon him by the heavens was like a punishment to him. Inflicting wounds on his useless body made his mind feel clearer, at least.

“Don’t run away. And don’t be too scared. When I lower my hand, you’re going to look at it calmly. Got it?”

Chaehwa’s fingertips came down gently and joined their hands together. Through their connected hands, he had the illusion of hearing her heartbeat. The blindfold of her hand covering his eyes was warm. It was a first experience. He settled into reality not through pain, but through body heat.

Her skirt, flowing lightly in the winter wind and rain, peeked out beside Yirok. Having passed the crisis, Chaehwa removed her palm. She did not remove their clasped hands. In the meantime, the front yard had become thick with fog. The goblin, now a familiar face, walked with a stoop, about to leave the front yard. Don’t be scared, and don’t run away. His weak will did nothing. The one holding his hand and supporting his back to the very end was Chaehwa’s will.

The goblin scouted outside the wall, then tried to climb over by stepping on a stone decoration in the front yard. The back of the goblin, straddling the wall, was soon obscured by the hazy fog. A mix of emotions washed over Yirok, and he released his bitten lip and lifted his head.

“It’s okay.”

There was something he realized while looking at the expressionless Chaehwa. An unsmiling face really did not suit Nanjubeol’s Chaehwa.

“This is your first time seeing a saripgoe, isn’t it, Yirok? It comes in sometimes on rainy days. It’s not malicious. It just likes to tease people who are scared of it.”

Finishing her words, Chaehwa walked over gracefully and took the spot next to him. A scent of soap came from Chaehwa’s silk skirt, which had billowed up with the wind. Yirok, his stomach churning, squinted his eyes open.

“This is….”

Chaehwa finally let go of his hand and snatched his box cutter. Yirok, deprived of his cherished cutter, purposely put on an indifferent face. Drrrk, Chaehwa pushed the button to extend the blade and gave a small smile.

“If you make any more wounds with this, you’ll die soon.”

“I won’t die.”

“Oh, my.”

“People don’t die from things like that.”

It was true. It was a world where even people whose arms were rotting away and who seemed to be missing half their soul somehow managed to live. When Yirok held out his palm to ask for the box cutter back, Chaehwa said, “Well, I never,” and pulled her hand up.

“This is confiscated. Your way of avoiding goblins is really lame.”

“It’s not because of goblins…. Give it back. It’s something like a tranquilizer for me.”

“Confiscated.”

“I know. It’s too lame and rough for the young mistress to carry around, right…. Hah, I don’t want to get into another fight and end up handcuffed by both arms, so put it in front of me.”

“I’ll give you something better.”

Unable to tolerate the uncommunicative Chaehwa any longer, Yirok stretched out his hand. But Chaehwa hid the knife behind her back with a sly posture.

“I’ll tell you something good that I don’t tell the other haenangs.”

“I’m fine, so go inside. Go and play the game you were playing.”

“If it weren’t for me, you would have become a perfect toy for that goblin just now. Are you going to be indebted to me every single time? Huh, Yirok?”

Yirok’s mouth went dry as he dealt with Chaehwa, who was teasingly thrusting her face toward him. Emotions, especially negative ones, were rising up inside him, but trying to put them into words felt clumsy.

It seemed his startled heart had yet to calm down. Every time Chaehwa approached him sweetly, he would have a nervous breakdown and his hands and feet would tingle. He secretly clenched and unclenched his fist to get the blood flowing. It would be nice if she would just shut up and leave so his mind could be at peace. That one sentence would have been enough, but Yirok’s lips wouldn’t budge.

In the meantime, Chaehwa, having properly seized her chance, pulled both the ryeongju and him at once. On top of Yirok’s palm, which had been powerlessly dragged over, five slender fingers landed. Just their fingertips touched, but it felt like a swarm of caterpillars was crawling up his shoulder.

“I know you hate holding hands. But what can I do, contact is the fastest way. Relax your face and feel it.”

“What changes if I feel how soft your hand is? Do I suddenly see things in the world that were invisible? Hear things that were inaudible?”

“Don’t be sarcastic. Just concentrate quietly.”

Yirok, who was all talk, found it difficult to meet Chaehwa’s gaze. He wanted to pull his hand away right then, but if he did, it seemed Chaehwa’s delicate hand would be slammed onto the wooden floor. His true heart did not want that scene.

“Close your eyes.”

“……”

“Hold your breath for a moment. And focus on the sounds around you.”

These were the words of Chaehwa, who was called the best among the jeongmusa. The thought that there was no harm in listening was both rational and tempting. Blaming it on his nervous breakdown, Yirok slowly closed his eyelids. All he could hear was the soft patter of the falling rain. Later, he heard the occasional mingling of breaths, the sound of tree branches fighting the wind and rain, and the sound of raindrops falling messily from under the eaves. As he focused on the similar yet different sounds, time passed like flowing water.

But his concentration, like a bottomless pot, flowed elsewhere. It went to the warmth of Chaehwa’s hand on his palm, to the scent of Chaehwa spreading through her breath. Having left for a world where the goblin had vanished, the one he met was a woman named Chaehwa.

Feeling his senses blur, Yirok’s eyes slowly opened. Their subconsciouses had overlapped, and they were holding each other’s hands without a single gap.

“When you feel like you’re going to lose yourself, just take a short break. Focus on the things around you, the living things. For a moment, forget about the things that have no body and only a soul.”

It would be a more accurate expression to say that he had no energy left to be sarcastic. Like the fickle rain, was it not meaningless to resist the woman named Chaehwa? The distance he created, fighting for his dear life, the woman closed while playing around. Just then, Chaehwa’s hand let go and grabbed the ryeongju. And with her other hand, she offered him a handshake.

“Let’s have a truce, not a reconciliation. How about it? If you’re tied to me tomorrow too, your personality will get even worse, Yirok.”

His head felt lighter than ever, as if his body responded well to meditation training. Yirok, unable to escape her persistent gaze, accepted the handshake. They didn’t shake or grip firmly, but it was a very satisfactory handshake between the two. Chaehwa, her face beaming, nodded her head excitedly.

“Right, right. I officially accept your surrender.”

At that moment, what came into Yirok’s view was a grain of rice next to Chaehwa’s lips. The thought of the young mistress, who must have been secretly eating a snack in her room, made the corners of his lips relax. Chaehwa, who intuitively noticed his changed expression, asked with wide eyes.

“Huh? Why all of a sudden….”

Without a word, Yirok pointed to the rice grain stuck next to Chaehwa’s lips. Only then did Chaehwa, her secret discovered, release his hand, her cheeks turning red. The time spent watching Chaehwa hurriedly wipe her mouth was quite beneficial.

It was a truly strange flow of events. He was surrounded by enemies, and he had just lost an important document. It was like going to the gallows and joyfully shouting “Hooray!”

Chaehwa’s word, ‘surrender,’ was not wrong. From the moment he came to Nanjubeol and got to know Chaehwa, his inner self had been constantly protesting. His resistance was his desperate effort to hate her.

“I was so hungry earlier. I’ve lost weight since I’ve been with you, Yirok. If I get any thinner, I’m really going to collapse.”

“I’ll bring it.”

“Huh? Bring what.”

“The things you didn’t eat. It’d be a big problem if the precious young mistress gets blown away by the wind because she lost weight. We’re in the same boat, tied together, so let’s help each other out.”

Yirok dragged over the tea table that Yeonrye had left and placed it in front of Chaehwa. Chaehwa’s eyes glistened with greed as she looked at the doubled amount of honey cookies and sweet rice punch. His gaze lingered on Chaehwa, whose hand went to a honey cookie without a second thought.

The rain showed no sign of stopping, but the commotion in his heart had quieted down. Pulling in the leg he had dangled off the veranda, Yirok closed his weary eyes.

If the heavens allowed, he wanted to feel that peace from before one more time.