There Is No Hidden Villain in This Novel Chapter 48

Did I ever mention that because I liked men down to my bones, I actually had a lot of female friends?

After my great-grandfather passed away, I never hid the fact that I liked men. To women, I was neither a potential romantic partner nor a rival, so we actually got along well. There were many girls who would party boisterously at the house my brothers gave me, with both men and women, and then just fall asleep in any random room.

Then I would go to a hotel with my partner.

I mean, why would I spend the night with girls?

Ah, I suppose we could sleep together if we weren’t doing anything.

‘But why make my nether regions feel lonely for no reason?’

Anyway, although I harbor quite a cynical sentiment towards the chess game that is romance, it wasn’t that I’d never been in a romantic relationship.

Because I have been, I’m closer to the side that’s simply sick of it.

‘Thinking back, it makes sense that I’d be sick of it.’

As a piece of trash myself, I exclusively collected other trash, so I saw a lot of dirty situations.

My boyfriends, as if they’d all been given a script, would tell me not to hang out with my female friends. Of course, they were also wary of my male friends, since I like men. Whenever that happened, I found it funny.

‘Who do you think you are?’

If my male friends disappear and my female friends disappear, I just become a person with no friends.

Perhaps they wanted to isolate me, but I wasn’t the type of person to fall for such shallow tricks.

The more they tried to suppress me, the better I was at slipping away like an eel to have fun.

Of course, I never did anything to be ashamed of before heaven and my conscience. Unless it was a mutually agreed-upon relationship, I never touched another guy while I was seeing one person.

But my past boyfriends, who were masters of misunderstanding and delusion, wanted to punish me whenever I wandered outside their control, in other words, whenever I threw parties, danced, and had fun with my friends.

Although I was the top, my partners were generally manly and well-built, so I lost in fistfights.

I was often hit, and whenever that happened, I would smile weakly, kneel at his feet, show him my bruised cheek, and fumble with the front of his pants.

Then they would curse at me, calling me a bad bastard, before feeling it and sobbing.

‘Wow, looking back now, I was a legendary piece of trash.’

Anyway, I was hit often. The reason I didn’t break up with them was because they never said let’s break up, and I had no reason to break up either.

Honestly, it was a mutually crazy relationship.

But I found it cute, cheeky, and pitiful how they struggled to win by any means with their fists. Even when they threatened that they could kill me anytime because they were bigger and stronger, I found it ridiculous and pathetic.

Because they couldn’t do that to me.

They were beneath me. This wasn’t about the top/bottom dynamic in bed, but emotionally, they had already lost to me. They knew it, and I knew it. The reason for their defeat was that they loved me. Since I didn’t love them, if they said let’s break up, I could end the relationship anytime and live well. But they couldn’t.

So I felt sorry for them. Every time they hit me, I could see their hearts breaking to pieces, so I even felt a little pity.

‘Then I almost got stabbed… well, stuff like that happened.’

So from then on, I never dated guys who clung to me saying they liked me. I only formed partner relationships and cut them off if burdensome feelings started to develop. I also chose to meet only one-night stands. My friends loved the parties I hosted, and I always lived lost in pleasure and amusement, out of my mind.

Friends who met a good partner and turned over a new leaf would preach to me about how wonderful love is. But I enjoyed relationships that were briefly sweet on the tongue like sugar before melting away. I learned that after several failures. That was also the reason I was trying to just have a moderate amount of fun with Ryuseong. We were in a contract relationship due to our families’ connection, but I had no intention of letting it become real.

But when he showed signs of jealousy, what should I say?

My feelings were inexplicably uplifted.

‘Oh.’

That meant I liked Ryuseong quite a bit more than I thought.

‘This is a problem, isn’t it?’

No matter what, I wasn’t the type to accept a confession from a guy I had zero feelings for. All the X-bastards I dated were guys I found cute to some extent. That’s why when they got jealous, it was both pathetic and amusing.

But when I thought about Ryuseong being jealous, it was just purely amusing, which was absurd.

So fun. That was the conclusion.

‘I… find this bastard really damn cute, don’t I?’

“What are you doing, not answering.”

It seems I was caressing Ryuseong’s cheek without realizing it. He frowned, snatched my hand, and lowered his voice as if growling, and I desperately held back the perverted smile that was trying to creep onto my lips.

Though I must not have held it back properly, as he raised an eyebrow and showed his displeasure.

But listen. The fact that I know a person like Ryuseong could never like Cassis de Millang is precisely what makes Jung Ihan’s heart race.

Ryuseong is only aroused by Cassis de Millang. He cannot love Cassis de Millang. Not least because of the relationship between the Halla Sect and the de Millangs.

The same goes for me. I think Ryuseong is cute, but I think love is damn annoying and cumbersome. I just want to sleep with Ryuseong once, if only out of sheer stubbornness. There is no love in that.

Sometimes in life, a relationship promised to be loveless can burn even hotter.

So I whispered sweetly.

“Well, as long as there were no actions that violated my contract with you, isn’t that what matters?”

Asking him what right he has to be curious is for amateurs. Provoking him by asking if he wants to know is for intermediates.

And stimulating his imagination is the mark of an expert.

I answered smoothly, and he clenched his jaw. I could clearly see the muscles in his lower jaw tighten, his Adam’s apple move, and his forearm bulge.

“What does that mean?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. It means I didn’t cheat. Not yet, at least.”

“…”

I have never cheated on anyone. Unless you count cutting off relationships before they even started. But there was no way Ryuseong would believe me, which means I could tease him as I pleased…

“I understand that point. Now tell me what you did.”

Uh, huh. This is different from what I expected. What is this?

“Do you believe me?”

“You have that look in your eyes like you’re determined to tease me, but I’m not stupid enough to be provoked.”

“Oh.”

The fact that he wasn’t stupid was a surprising fact. When I clapped my hands, unable to hide my surprise, he clenched his jaw again, but anyway, I couldn’t stop my admiration.

“Prying into every little thing your lover did would be obsession, so her words were right, weren’t they? Obsession is a disease, Ryuseong. Don’t ask any more.”

Saying this was also actually intended to provoke him. But Ryuseong, surprisingly, was convinced and started talking about something else.

“You’re not adding that pathetic ‘Mister,’ I see.”

“Would you prefer I call you Mr. Ryuseong?”

“I meant don’t do it. What did you think ‘pathetic’ meant?”

I was about to tell him that he, Ryuseong, was the pathetic one, but since I saw an unexpected side of him, I decided to let it slide. I thought he was a rabid, crazy dog that would bark if you so much as poked him, but it seemed he was equipped with some common sense, surprisingly.

“You, your gaze is disrespectful. What are you thinking?”

“Oh, dear. I understand your desire to possess even the inside of my head, but how could you forget so quickly that obsession is a disease?”

When I lowered my eyes as if to say he was pitiful, Ryuseong started giving me a very insolent look. Hmm. I’ll just have to properly educate him on personality and etiquette someday.

The sooner the detoxification is done, the sooner I can plant a kiss on him.

‘Just when will the detoxification be finished?’

How long is the pharmacist beyond the talisman planning to send me antidotes? The butler didn’t trust the medical professor, so he had been getting the antidotes from him. I thought I was all better now, but the pharmacist sent a note emphasizing that I should continue to take the antidote.

Taking the antidote slows down physical reactions a bit…

Let’s detoxify while it’s even a little bit safer.

‘But I can’t trust the butler or the pharmacist.’

In the first place, there wasn’t a single person I could completely trust! If this is the case, wouldn’t it be better to just go see the medical professor? Wouldn’t a person certified by Ryuseong be more trustworthy than a shady family?

Thinking that, I went to the nurse’s office that evening. I have no intention of denying that it was impulsive.

‘The dream keeps coming to mind, so damn annoyingly.’

It was just that kind of mood, so I just grabbed my outerwear and left. I originally intended to leave Ryuseong in the room, but he followed me. When I told him not to stalk me, he even lied, saying he was also going to the nurse’s office to get a patch.

Anyway, when I told the medical professor that I wanted to discuss stopping the antidote, he said this after a long component analysis.

“This is the antidote you received recently? Looking at the ingredients, it doesn’t seem to be an antidote but a type of restorative medicine that resolves old toxins. I recommend continuous use…”

“Does that mean I’m already all better?”

The medical professor seemed to be saying something, but I couldn’t hear him properly as my eyes had rolled back. Because I was furious.

“No, it means you were sick even before…”

“At the very least, it means it’s not serious enough that we can’t kiss, right? Dammit. What did I hold back for?”

“…”

“…”

As I was internally throwing a fit, a sudden silence fell.

Hmm, wait. What did I just say?

“Oh dear, I seem to have misspoken?”

“…”

“Make sure you forget it, you hear? Except for you, Mr. Ryuseong.”

“…”