Black Paradise Chapter 2.3

When Ilyeong’s tongue shrank back as if to run away, he relentlessly pursued it all the way to its root, melting him viscously once again. Breaths and breaths tangled together without an owner. The inside of his mouth and his lips, which had been parched with tension, were quickly soaked. A sloppy, wet sound that was impossible to listen to with open eyes flowed onto the deck.

Ilyeong squeezed his eyes shut. At almost the exact same moment, Seo Juhyeok’s lips pulled away.

“Open your eyes and stick out your tongue.”

The playful air of exploring the other’s reaction with words bordering on lewd talk had long since evaporated. Seo Juhyeok had the ferocious eyes of a predator right before a hunt.

“And watch what I do.”

His black pupils were deeper and darker than when he had taught him about the drugs earlier. He accepted Ilyeong’s trembling, proffered tongue and swallowed it whole. And then, as if pulling his hand, he guided him deeper, and deeper. The feeling of crawling into the darkest place of his own volition was so thrilling it was almost chilling.

After pulling him in until he was satisfied, Seo Juhyeok sucked on his tongue. He sucked so hard that dimples formed on his cheeks, then loosened his grip and languidly licked it. Occasionally, he would even use his teeth to scrape down.

Even during the explicit act, he did not take his eyes off Ilyeong’s face. The obscene gaze gave Ilyeong the sensation of having something other than his tongue being sucked. A moan overflowed from below his throat. He scraped up even that sound and pressed their lower bodies closer together. Their hardened cores, under a slow rhythm, swelled with more, and more heat.

“Just as I did, suck on my tongue with force. And.”

The hand that was caressing the nape of his neck moved over and pulled Ilyeong’s chin downward. At the same time, it pressed firmly on his throat.

“This time, for real, open this up.”

“Ah, ugh…”

A crushed moan squeezed through the gap of his constricted throat. His eyes lost their strength, and heat gathered around them.

Seo Juhyeok stared intently at Ilyeong’s face, then chewed on something like a curse and crushed his lips against his again. The breath he exhaled, the restrained rhythm, all of it was ruined. The motion of grinding their cores together became rougher. He chewed on his lower lip as if to burst it, then pushed his tongue back inside.

“Haah…”

“Eung…”

The tongue that slid in immediately pressed down on the root of his tongue. Naturally, his breath was cut off and his breathing became erratic. A hand suddenly came in under his armpit.

“Ah…!”

Seo Juhyeok lifted him up, making him wrap his legs around his waist. Ilyeong instinctively hugged his neck tightly. Not just their lower bodies, but their entire bodies clung to him like a magnet.

Only then, as if satisfied, did Seo Juhyeok focus on thrusting into his mouth. Ilyeong dazedly licked and sucked his tongue. It felt like he had to.

It was after that when Seo Juhyeok’s tongue, which had been expertly exploring the inside of his mouth, stiffened. The muscles in his back tensed as he groped the deepest place he could reach, the root of the tongue and the delicate mucous membrane. Ilyeong lifted his eyelids, which had become as heavy as if they were waterlogged. However, before he could see his expression, Seo Juhyeok began to messily stir inside his mouth again, as if nothing had happened.

The ravenous and primal kiss, which was more than could be described by the word “rough”, ran on without knowing an end. The hand that was sweeping down his spine had at some point moved up over Ilyeong’s pants and grabbed his buttocks, spreading them. Ilyeong tilted his head back and exhaled hot breath into the night sky.

“Ah… Heuk…”

Seo Juhyeok licked and sucked broadly at his jawline and neck. His lips traveled down endlessly, pushing aside his shirt to steal his collarbone and nipple. His fully enraged, hard penis rubbed and ground between his buttocks.

It was a movement no different from intercourse, only blocked by a layer of fabric. It seemed it would not be strange at all if he were to pull down his pants right then and there and enter him as if tearing him apart from the inside.

It was then. A bustling noise intruded upon the perfect sanctuary. A door located a little distance away made a rattling sound. It was a different door from the one Ilyeong had entered through. Probably the door Seo Juhyeok had left open…

Startled, Ilyeong pulled away from him. The warmth he had left behind was swiftly gathered up and taken away by the sea breeze. His body, which had cooled down in an instant, became even more shabby and miserable.

“……”

“……”

Unlike Ilyeong, who was urgently looking at the door, Seo Juhyeok did not spare it a single glance. He seemed not to care in the slightest. His core was still hard and erect, piercing through his loosened trousers. And yet, it wasn’t comical at all. His eyes, which looked even more intoxicated than before the kiss, pleaded with unfulfilled passion.

Ilyeong avoided his hand and took a step back. He turned and ran. His legs gave out, and he almost collapsed twice. He rushed into the door as if fleeing. Behind him, the door closed with a heavy sound.

At the same time, he slid down against the wall and sat. His mind was in turmoil, wondering what kind of expression Seo Juhyeok, who was beyond this door, was making, and what conversation he was having with the other uninvited guest.

From the round window he looked up at obliquely, he could see a sky as pitch black as Seo Juhyeok’s eyes. The sky, resembling the sea, looked down on him as if it were ready to swallow him whole at any moment.

This place is the widest and deepest sinkhole in the world. It is also the most magnificent and ecstatic sinkhole in the world.

The vast and immense loneliness ate away at Ilyeong bit by bit. When this night passed, an even more bitter sense of loss would follow, but it was okay.

He had stolen Seo Juhyeok’s voice to his heart’s content, so he would be fine even if he starved from the drug for at least a few days… That was enough. That was truly all.

His whole body was swept away by the melted-down effect of the drug.

Bang! It was the sound that announced the disappearance of the mirage.

Seo Juhyeok silently glared at the door through which Ilyeong had exited. On the deck, where he was suddenly left alone, only the humming sound of the sea breeze remained. The sloppy sound of saliva being exchanged, the moans that had stretched his patience to its very limit, none of it was left.

It had all happened in an instant. That was why it felt even more like a short dream. It might be because of his current state, muddled with alcohol and drugs. But the heat pooled in his body without being released and the warmth left in his hands were definitely real.

Seo Juhyeok thought of the body he had wanted to shove his penis into just moments ago. The face that had emitted a light brighter than the moon in this dark place, the thin and sharp features, the body that pressed in as if desperate when he sucked his tongue, the awkward tongue movements that diligently bit and rolled his tongue…

From the first time he saw him, he had thought he had a damn sexy face, almost like a drawing of his type, but he truly hadn’t known his body and mind would be moved to this extent. It was also unexpected that he would get an erection and flinch when his voice whispered in his ear. To think he would cling to him with such an indifferent face that seemed like he wouldn’t do that at all.

Seo Juhyeok let out a low laugh.

“What is it, Seo Juhyeok? What are you doing on the deck? What if you get caught?”

In the meantime, the very person who had made Ilyeong run away approached with staggering steps.

The unwelcome guest was Seo Juhyeok’s friend, Han Taeju. Furthermore, he was not alone. Behind Han Taeju were two men and women, half-undressed. They were the partners Han Taeju had brought on this cruise trip. He had seen their faces quite a bit at the orgy that had been held since the first day of boarding the cruise, so there was nothing new about it.

“You disappeared in the middle, so they… Hey, don’t tell me.”

Han Taeju, who had been grinning foolishly, sniffed the air and his expression changed in an instant. Seo Juhyeok leaned his back against the hull and merely twitched an eyebrow.

With a look on his face as if he had been punched, Han Taeju quickly ran and practically shoved the woman and man back behind the door. Then he returned, shooting a gaze laced with faint irritation.

“Ugh, the smell! Just how much did you smoke? I was wondering where you went, skipping the party, why are you smoking here all alone?”

“Should I have smoked with everyone over there?”

“Are you crazy? Did you forget your father is also on this ship? Do you know what kind of trouble you’ll be in if you get caught? Besides drugs, there’s drinking, and sex, there are so many things to enjoy, why can’t you hold back? Speaking of which, give me one for now.”

“The other things don’t really appeal to me.”

It was true. For the past few months, he had been living an almost ascetic life aside from drugs. That made his excitement from moments ago, to the point of losing his reason, even more strange. A stiff and naive partner who clearly showed he was a novice was not his type at all, and yet a moment ago, his mind had almost exploded with pleasure.

Han Taeju, while receiving the joint, noticed Seo Juhyeok’s firmly erect penis and looked at him with curiosity.

“For someone who says that, you look very lively. Who was your partner?”

Han Taeju took out a Zippo lighter from his pocket and lit the end of the joint. At the same time, his eyes shrewdly searched Seo Juhyeok’s disheveled clothes.

Seo Juhyeok, without any thought of fixing his slouched posture or his trousers, lit his own joint as well.

“Who knows.”

“Looks like you’re sulking because I showed up. My bad.”

“It would have been better if that perceptiveness had been a little faster.”

Han Taeju chuckled and laughed. As the tension dissipated, his eyes became even more unfocused than before. He stood leaning his back against the pillar opposite Seo Juhyeok and smoked the marijuana. Dried marijuana leaves have a strong smell when burned and the scent lingers for a long time. Seo Juhyeok and Han Taeju continued to layer the fresh scent of marijuana onto the air.

As the scent grew stronger, only one thought held onto Seo Juhyeok’s mind. You know something better than this. Go and grab him. He was the one who provoked you first.

Seo Juhyeok let out a sound like a moan, “Hmph.” If he had been alone on this deck, he might have really done it. He would have taken him somewhere and swallowed him whole, from head to toe. He would have personally checked if he really had a fetish for his voice while chewing on his earlobe. But now…

Han Taeju looked back at him with a puzzled expression. Seo Juhyeok feigned ignorance, relaxed his body, and shifted his train of thought.

“So, when will the ‘goods’ arrive?”

At the direct question, Han Taeju thankfully passed over his suspicious behavior without much thought.

“It probably arrived at Paradise about a week ago? The delivery comes around this time every month. I’ll bring it to you as soon as we reach land.”

“That’s too late…”

“There’s no way to help you with that on this sea, no matter how much you whine.”

“Why is time passing so slowly? I’m even thinking it might be faster to just jump into the sea and swim to Paradise.”

“You need to cut down on the drugs. What if something really bad happens?”

At Han Taeju’s rebuke, Seo Juhyeok took the white stick from his mouth and stared at it quietly. Marijuana was a kind of brake that held back his convulsive impulses. It didn’t provide as much stimulation as his brain and body wanted, but it was doing its job well enough. But for some reason, even this felt bland now.

Seo Juhyeok stubbed out the joint on the hull again. He broke the half-smoked joint in two and crumpled it into a portable ashtray. Looking at the soot-stained hull, Han Taeju made a pained face and spoke in a regretful voice.

“Ah! That was hard to get too, you’re so fickle… If Director Seo Yoonseok knew his son was a drug addict, he would collapse backwards. He’s been looking like death lately because of the drug cases anyway.”

“He keeps whining about how hard it is, and the heart of the son who has to listen to him is torn. I should be a good son and help him rest early.”

“You wicked, unfilial son of a bitch.”

Even as he said it, Han Taeju was busy chuckling with his eyes half-glazed over from the alcohol. Seo Juhyeok gave a short laugh.

“Am I the only one? My sister and my brother probably both wish for our father to rest soon.”

“Hmm. True. Still, seeing how the director has been taking you around so much instead of noona Yera or hyung-nim Chaejun, it seems like his mind has completely turned to your side, don’t you think?”

“He’s such a sly old fox of a person.”

“Hey, everyone is saying that he’s trying to give a piece of the pie now to the son he abandoned in the rebel territory…”

Han Taeju, who had been blabbering carelessly, gasped, “Hup,” and swallowed the rest of his words. It had only been a few years since Seo Yoonseok had brought his son, Seo Juhyeok, to Paradise after having practically dumped him in the heart of the rebellion.

It was something all the other generals had opposed. When the number of people in a power struggle increases, it’s bound to create more noise.

However, Seo Juhyeok shattered all those concerns and, since returning to Paradise, had been living the life of a playboy. The wary gazes on him soon transformed into looks of pity.

Only Han Taeju, who knew his true nature, thought it was all an act, but as the days of him wasting away in alcohol and drugs grew longer, even he was starting to get confused. He had seen countless soldiers whose personalities had changed after returning from a warzone like the rebel territory.

“Sorry, I must be really drunk.”

Han Taeju apologized, his face now completely sober. Seo Juhyeok crinkled his eyes with an unconcerned expression. He had looked just as nonchalant when he heard all sorts of whispers.

“Don’t mention it. No one knows what father is thinking.”

Seo Juhyeok thought of his father, Director Seo Yoonseok. The first memory that came to mind was from sixteen years ago. It was when Seo Juhyeok was fifteen years old.

At that time, Seo Juhyeok was in what was now the 11th Shelter Zone. The duty of dispatched soldiers was usually to monitor and control the shelter zones that belonged to Paradise.

Back then, the 11th Shelter Zone was the heart of the rebellion. The residents of the shelter zone came out with knives, farming tools, and all sorts of blades, demanding to be relocated to Paradise.

Paradise refused. The reason was that it could not be a special privilege for just one zone. The rebellion grew fiercer by the day, and in the process, the number of injured and killed soldiers and residents increased substantially.

The one who had thrown his young children into that battlefield was none other than Seo Yoonseok. His gentle-hearted mother had tried to reverse her husband’s decision, even refusing all food and drink. Despite his wife’s extreme threat, which put her life on the line, Seo Yoonseok didn’t even bat an eye. With the successive deployments of her eldest daughter and eldest son, his mother’s spirit was worn to shreds.

Among his siblings, Seo Juhyeok was the only one who voluntarily left for the battlefield. On his twentieth birthday, when he returned to Paradise after five years, he found his mother collapsed in the mansion’s bathroom after slitting her wrists. That day was also the day it was decided that his younger brother would be dispatched to the 11th Shelter Zone.

Unlike Seo Juhyeok, his young brother never returned from the site of the rebellion the following year.

Even then, Seo Yoonseok was nonchalant. He said that the weak are bound to be eliminated from the world, constantly stabbing daggers into the heart of his wife, who had returned from the brink of death. He was that heartless and unfeeling of a person.

Seo Juhyeok had also lost his younger brother and his comrades, who had shared life and death with him, in the rebellion that occurred that year. Seo Yoonseok said that even that was a fitting ending for the weak. Everyone’s death was packaged with the noble modifier of being a sacrifice to suppress the rebellion.

“I must always be on guard so I don’t get stabbed in the back by my father.”

Seo Juhyeok murmured calmly with sunken eyes. Han Taeju went “Hmm” and lightly scratched his head.

“Really? There are already rampant rumors among the executives that you’ve been chosen as the next director.”

“That’s because everyone is only looking at one side. If you open it up, you can clearly see who ended up in a mud fight because of it.”

Han Taeju, who was smoking, stopped moving abruptly and furrowed his brow.

“What do you mean by that? Are you talking about noona Yera? I don’t think I’ve heard from her in years, ever since she got married and left.”

“She may be quiet now, but you never know. Seo Yera is someone who would do anything to bring father down. And she believes she must take that position to do so. So, at this timing, if it looks like I’ve been chosen as the next director?”

“…She’ll target you first.”

“Right. When the mud fight is over, the one who takes the cleanest spot will be the one person left.”

The two men did not say it out loud, but they both thought of the same name.

Seo Chaejun. The second child of the Seo family. Seo Juhyeok’s older brother.

The eldest son, Seo Chaejun, had inherited his mother’s gentle nature rather than his father’s. Although he had returned safely from Seo Yoonseok’s test, he was so frail that it was hard to believe. That wasn’t just about his mentality, but also included physical problems.

“If that’s the case, then in the end, only hyung-nim Chaejun will benefit.”

“Why would the old man, who shamelessly retorted that it was understandable when the youngest died, choose the weakling Seo Chaejun as his piece on the chessboard…”

Han Taeju’s cheeks stiffened as he cautiously observed Seo Juhyeok’s expression again. But there was no expression to speak of on Seo Juhyeok’s face. Han Taeju let out a long sigh and extinguished the fire on his joint.

“You’re my friend, but sometimes you scare me too. I can’t figure out what you’re thinking. So what are you going to do? You must have some move in mind.”

“I don’t.”

“You’re lying. Are you going to be like this even with me?”

“Do I need to have a move? The title is next director, but I don’t want a position that just cleans up after father, not enough to dirty my own path.”

The tension that had been taut in his pitch-black eyes vanished in the blink of an eye. All that remained on the deck was the playboy, the debauchee, the junkie Seo Juhyeok. Han Taeju asked with a bewildered face.

“A moment ago you said you couldn’t be careless because you might get stabbed in the back?”

“That’s a separate story from the next director position. I absolutely hate getting a stinging blow to the back of my head.”

“Aww, I was hoping I could get some benefits from my friend if you really became the director…”

Seo Juhyeok leaned his upper body forward, his eyes flashing playfully.

“So let’s stop this useless talk.”

Seo Juhyeok stuck out his tongue and scraped his index finger down its length. There was no way Han Taeju wouldn’t understand the meaning behind that blatant gesture. The tension on his stiff face melted like ice.

“It’s about Black again. You seem really addicted, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Of course. There’s never been a time I felt this good. I want to find the manufacturer quickly. I need to strike first before the bounty hunters get them.”

Seo Juhyeok cracked his stiff neck from side to side and laughed. Han Taeju shook his head with a dumbfounded expression and said.

“It’s already been years since we started chasing that drug, and we still haven’t even figured out its identity. This means they’ve made a firm decision to hide. But the situation right now is too bad for digging up clues. Ah… What a shame. Things like this usually go smoothly when you see some blood.”

“Then let’s do it.”

“Easier said than done. Black is a high-and-mighty drug that only accepts a small number of clients with small quantities each month, right? That means the clients are people who can pay astronomical sums. And that includes you, and me. Even for me, taking down a bunch of big shots with deep roots is…”

Seo Juhyeok didn’t answer, only a faint smile hung on his lips. Knowing his way of thinking, which could be endlessly lax one moment and shockingly crooked the next, Han Taeju hurriedly added.

“Hey, I’m telling you in advance, I can’t do something that audacious, okay? I want to live like a playboy too.”

“Hmm.”

“Can’t you just wait a little? Rumors are spreading that your father is searching for anyone related to Black with fire in his eyes. Because of that, the buyers have gotten scared and are hiding tight. The other buyers I used to know are all reluctant to open their mouths, so it’s hard for me to make a move rashly either.”

“I’m disappointed. I’m so scared it’ll get snatched by someone else that I can’t even sleep.”

At the innocent sound, like a child whining for a toy, Han Taeju rolled his eyes. He couldn’t count how many times he had been severely burned for taking that composure at face value since they were young.

Sure enough, in the next moment, Seo Juhyeok’s gaze changed, and the atmosphere grew tense.

“Ask the dealer how much this month’s supply is and have our side buy it all. If possible, from now on too.”

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I’ll do as you say since you’re telling me to… But if we do that, the backlash from other buyers will be no joke, so the dealer will probably refuse.”

“As for that… whether you show him the money or show him blood, this time, you do what you do best.”

Han Taeju smiled and folded his brow. In the end, he’s telling me to use my money. You bad bastard.

“I can’t guarantee it. The dealer always uses an anonymous errand boy to deliver the goods. I’ve already looked into that, but they all didn’t even know that the items they were delivering were drugs. In the end, there’s no way to know who the drug manufacturer or the dealer is right now.”

“But you can still make a guess. Let’s hear it.”

Seo Juhyeok turned his head, following the sound of the waves crashing against the hull. His gaze was not on the sea. The gaze that flew like an arrow pierced a place farther than that, an unknown territory that was not Paradise.

“Black is a new synthetic drug, completely different from existing drugs. Which means it wasn’t made by clumsily combining existing recipes. The manufacturer is probably someone with considerable knowledge of chemistry.”

“As expected, it must be someone from M&N Pharmaceuticals.”

“Right, father seems to suspect that too. But my thoughts are different.”

“On what grounds?”

“The people at M&N are all from elite families. There are no exceptions. Joining M&N is the honor and glory of the family. Such people usually don’t want to take such dishonorable risks. Which means they have nothing to gain from drug trafficking.”

Beneath Seo Juhyeok’s curved lips, his white teeth flashed.

“A place where people who are poor enough to have to sell drugs gather. There is a separate place like that.”

Han Taeju groaned. This time, there was no playfulness left on his face.

“You seem to be talking about the researchers in the shelter zones, fine. Let’s say that’s the case. It’s not like I haven’t thought about that at all. But how can the drugs made there reach all the way across the sea to Paradise? All the ports are blocked. It’s a bit much to say this, but… the shelter zones are no different from a prison on the sea.”

“There’s no perfect prison in this world. Especially in the prisons of the shelter zones, soldiers, special dispatchers, and even transporters who supply goods come and go.”

Han Taeju felt momentarily bewildered and recalled the scenery of the shelter zones he had visited. Just like Seo Juhyeok, who had roamed the shelter zones like a battlefield since he was a child, he too had been forced to do volunteer work there a few times, following his entrepreneur father.

If there was one thing those zones had in common, it was that they were all so dirty and uncomfortable that he never wanted to visit them again.

Could Seo Juhyeok’s hypotheses all be true? If so, it was bewildering to think that there was a talent in such a place capable of making such a drug, but the fact that the people of Paradise were using drugs that flowed in from there felt somewhat unsettling.

Han Taeju smacked his lips and, just as Seo Juhyeok had done earlier, folded the white stick in half and crumpled it into his portable ashtray.

As if he had never had a sharp look in his eyes, Seo Juhyeok once again sprawled out on the hull with a relaxed demeanor. He would put on the skin of a gentle lamb whenever he had the chance.

“It’s a very impressive deduction, but…”

“If I was going to quit being a soldier and a director, I should have become a novelist. Don’t you think?”

“You’re talking nonsense. A gun suits you better than a pen.”

Watching Han Taeju shudder, Seo Juhyeok bared his teeth and smiled languidly.

“My heart is torn by your harsh evaluation. I guess I’ll have to catch the manufacturer as soon as possible to get some recognition.”

*

It was after the heat in his entire body had cooled. Ilyeong dragged his body, like a waterlogged piece of clothing hung on a clothesline, towards the 7th floor where the guest rooms were located. He was clutching the collar of his tattered shirt tightly to hide the nape of his neck, where the cold wind was clinging.

The main hall of the cruise, which was now in the middle of the night, was more noisy and boisterous than the last time he had seen it. It seemed like someone had spoken to him a few times while he crossed the hall, but he stubbornly ignored them all. His only thought was to quickly return to his room and completely store Seo Juhyeok’s voice in his brain.

However, Ilyeong’s plan was shattered to pieces the moment he arrived at the hallway where his room was located.

“Hey, open the door! Kwon Ilyeong! Yuto! You damned things, what the hell are you doing in the room!”

“What is it.”

The one pounding on Ilyeong’s door as if to break it down was none other than Haoran. A considerable number of people had come out into the hallway, unable to bear the commotion. Haoran, who was panting with his eyes bloodshot, recognized Ilyeong and his eyes widened.

“Mr. Kwon Ilyeong? That’s right! I knew from the start that the gloomy kid was making a fuss all by himself. Hurry up and open the door. I need to see with my own eyes what the hell is going on!”

“What is all this about?”

“Well, you see…”

Bang! At that moment, a loud noise from beyond the door shook the air. Haoran glared at the door with narrowed eyes and ground his teeth.

“He’s been acting like that since earlier. I woke up startled, thinking the ship was sinking in my sleep. Since then, no matter how much I knock, he won’t come out…”

“I’ll handle it.”

“What? Will you be okay? I don’t think he’s just an ordinary psycho.”

Ilyeong fumbled in his pocket and found his key card. As soon as he opened the door, he managed to send Haoran, who was trying to squeeze in with him, back to the next room.

The room was pitch black, with not a single light on. A faint light was rising from the window facing the door. The smell of sweat stung his nose. A strange stirring encroached on his heart. Ilyeong took a few steps into the room and stopped abruptly.

“You…”

Yuto was standing tall in the middle of the dark room. Like a dried-up, withered tree.

Around him, the dented and broken wooden cabinet doors were rolling around. Yuto was holding something in his trembling hands. Bright red blood was dripping from his hands.

“The, the cabinet door… it, it wouldn’t open. So…”

It was Ilyeong’s medicine box.

It took some time to grasp the situation. It was because he had emptied a part of his brain to fully contain that drug-like voice. How did he open that? More importantly, why?

Incomprehensible questions wreaked havoc in his mind in an instant.

Ilyeong crossed the mess and snatched his bag from the floor first. Fortunately, the clothes wrapped around the other tin cases were undisturbed.

He zipped up the bag and threw it onto his bed. Then he snatched the medicine box that Yuto was holding.

Yuto stubbornly refused to let go of the medicine box with his ruined hands. Despite being so injured, the strength of his grip was quite formidable.

“Let go. Do you know what you’ve just done?”

“Hyung, can’t you just give me one of these? I, I want this too. Please?”

Yuto begged with a tearful face. His anxiously trembling eyes were an indicator that he was not in his right mind right now.

Just today, there were several people who had made Ilyeong’s life miserable because of this drug. Joo Yoonchae had said that life has its ups and downs, so if there’s a bad thing, a good thing is bound to happen. If so, was he walking through this mud puddle because he had just tasted ecstasy a little while ago?

His head throbbed. The good feeling he had wanted to cherish throughout the dawn had all become tattered and messy.

Ilyeong applied more force to his hand. The blood-stained medicine box came out of Yuto’s hand only after it was all crumpled. Yuto now had the eyes of a frog on the verge of crying.

“Just one, please. Please… I have money, I’ll buy it…”

Yuto was desperate to give Ilyeong a few bills he had pulled out of his pocket. He didn’t know that this was a drug that a person from the shelter zone couldn’t buy even if they starved for a whole year. Not knowing what kind of time bomb this was…

Cold water was poured over his inflamed mind. Ilyeong clenched his teeth to calm down as much as possible.

“Mr. Yuto. This is just a headache medicine. Why do you want this?”

“Lies! That’s not just a medicine. I don’t know what it is, but the soldiers are being nice to you because of that drug. I don’t want to be ignored either. I, I’m in the same situation as you, hyung, so why do I have to be treated like this?”

“The same situation?”

Yuto knelt down on the pool of blood with an urgent expression. The momentum was so bewildering that Ilyeong took a step back.

“You, you really don’t know me? I get told a lot that I look just like my younger brother. My, my younger brother said so. He said it was because of him that you won the lottery…”

His face, smeared with sweat and tears, was desperate. Ilyeong stared down at his eyes blankly. He won the lottery because of Yuto’s younger brother?

Yuto’s gaze changed, and he murmured.

“Buy some flowers, hyung.”

“…!”

It was a memory that could never be erased. Ilyeong pressed down on his mouth, which was about to let out a gasp.

The bustling square, the bang, the gunshot that tore through his ears, the dazzling light of the screen, the bouquet of white wildflowers scattering from his sight…

The memory brought back the pain of that time as well. The son of a bitch in his head stretched and barked loudly, “Woof! Woof!” A pain that felt like his scalp was splitting attacked him.

“Everyone who received that flower from my, my younger brother won the lottery. My uncle-in-law won last year because of that too. The person who bought the flower the year before that also…”

“Bullshit…”

“It’s, it’s true. Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, you bought flowers from my younger brother too. Right. I saw it then too. Mr. Kwon Ilyeong gave my younger brother flowers and bread. My brother said that Mr. Kwon Ilyeong was a really kind and good person. So he hoped you would win the lottery…”

“Shut up!”

Ilyeong clutched his forehead and staggered. Yuto seemed surprised for a moment, but then, perhaps thinking he had a chance, he immediately rushed at him.

Ilyeong, who was struck by Yuto’s body, collapsed to the floor. The two of them got tangled up and rolled on the floor a few times, tumbling over each other. The shattered pieces of wood stabbed their bodies fiercely, but there was nowhere to avoid them. Both his brain and his body screamed sharp screams.

Yuto hit Ilyeong’s head hard. It was a force strong enough to make him feel nauseous and suffocate for a moment. Ilyeong forcefully struck the stomach of Yuto, who was struggling to grab the medicine box. “Gasp,” Yuto let out a breath and sprawled out like a bug on its back. He felt sick to his stomach.

Ilyeong crawled on the floor, sat with his back against the wall, and endured the headache. The floor was rising up and down unevenly, perhaps because he had been hit in the head badly by Yuto. His neck and the back of his hands were all burning, probably because he had been properly scratched by his fingernails during the fight. Ilyeong panted and snapped harshly.

“Don’t talk nonsense. What power does your younger brother have to make people win the lottery?”

Yuto clutched his stomach and cried for a long time. The groaning moans and the curled-up body did not seem pitiful at all.

“I, I don’t know either. My younger brother doesn’t know the reason either, but the person who received the flower just… heuk… ah, it hurts.”

“Listen carefully. It was all just a coincidence. It’s not because you or your younger brother are special. Was it for something so trivial that you keep hovering around me? Because you think I was able to get on this cruise because of your brother? What, is it something like a sense of compensation?”

Yuto just breathed heavily without a word, like a person who had been hit where it hurts. Seeing that dumbfounded expression, the anger he had suppressed flared up even more.

“If it’s really like that, you’ve got it completely wrong. I never wanted to go to a place like Paradise. No, shall I be more honest? If I think that I might have become the fourth winner and ended up like this because of your brother, I want to wring both of your necks. Do you understand?”

If only he hadn’t won, and if he didn’t have to leave the garbage village, he wouldn’t have had to suffer like that from the field mice because of the dirty scandal with Nam Kiyoon. Of course, he wouldn’t have had to leave his sanctuary on the third floor of the research lab either.

Most of all, he wouldn’t have done something as foolish as crawling into the enemy’s camp, who were trying to cut his throat. Now there was no way to hide. Whether it was hanging, beheading, or being drawn and quartered, his end was only a miserable death. It’s all because of the lottery!

After pouring it all out, Yuto’s face was ashen and dead, like a corpse drained of blood. He hesitantly reached out his hand towards Ilyeong, like a person trying to grasp the last straw.

“Still, hyung… hyung, you’re from the same ‘garbage village’ as me. I’m the same. If I had turned twenty, I would have entered the research institute like you. I, I would have become a researcher.”

Yuto’s eyes glittered faintly. He knew those eyes well. They were the eyes of field mice, crows, and cockroaches that had found a futile hope. They were the eyes of pests hoping to pass the job test.

The pests living at the bottom of the garbage village envied and were jealous of Ilyeong. They threw stones at his back.

A tough bastard who crawled up from the bottom of the garbage, a male prostitute who got a research position by selling his body to a soldier… It took years to become numb to those words.

Was it true that Yuto had been assigned to a research position…

Suddenly, everything felt powerless. The winter wind also seemed to hang limply, scattering a desolate cry of “whoosh… whoosh…”. The son of a bitch also whimpered along with it.