Black Paradise Chapter 3.1

Seo Juhyeok, who had been teasing Ilyeong’s ears with all sorts of vulgar words, like he was going to suck him off or that they should go have some fun, unexpectedly dropped Ilyeong off in an unusual place. It was a restaurant located on the upper deck of the cruise ship.

Despite Seo Juhyeok suddenly appearing with a man slung over his shoulder, the employee who greeted them showed no sign of surprise and guided him to a window table. It was a spot set apart from the main hall, like an isolated island. There were a few other people dining, and their sticking stares were more than a little burdensome.

Seo Juhyeok warned Ilyeong, who was constantly looking for a chance to escape, that if he tried to run away one more time, he would throw him over his shoulder and carry him through the main hall, regardless of who was watching. His heart had already been pounding on the way to the restaurant through the emergency staircase, wondering if anyone would see them, so that was absolutely out of the question.

Above all, Seo Juhyeok’s half crazed eyes looked as if he was truly prepared to commit that insane act, so Ilyeong had no choice but to grind his teeth and sit down obediently.

They say that people with a lot to lose are timid, but Seo Juhyeok was a complete exception to that general rule. Ilyeong could not understand how he could do such shocking things without hesitation.

Ilyeong looked at Seo Juhyeok, who was shamelessly reading the menu across from him. In the meantime, an employee approached without a sound of footsteps.

“How may I prepare your order?”

“This is my first time here too. What do you recommend?”

The employee looked down at the menu in Seo Juhyeok’s hands and was about to speak, but then he hesitated. Knowing the reason why, Ilyeong sighed silently.

The front of Seo Juhyeok’s pants had been noticeably heavy for a while now. It was a sight that had seriously troubled Ilyeong from the moment his feet touched the ground.

To get hard from his impudent behavior. Ilyeong was flustered that it was true when he had thought it was a lie, and he was dumbfounded because he could not understand what point had turned him on.

Only after they were seated at the table with it between them was Ilyeong relieved of the constant effort of trying not to let his eyes be drawn to his lower body.

The employee calmly opened his mouth and quietly explained the menu. His voice trembled, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he gulped. He took the menu and retreated as soon as Seo Juhyeok selected a few items and placed his order.

The person in question himself didn’t even seem to care and sat there confidently. Ilyeong felt it was somewhat unfair.

“Whatever it is, it should be better than the dining hall downstairs.”

Seo Juhyeok muttered and unbuttoned his shirt with a pop, pop. He hadn’t even panted once while carrying Ilyeong all the way here, but it seemed that monstrous body of his could get hot too.

The taut pectoral muscles were visible through the opened shirt. Ilyeong suddenly spoke.

“That’s sexual harassment.”

“What is.”

“Saying you’re hard, that you’re going to suck me off… All of that is sexual harassment.”

Seo Juhyeok’s hand, which had been unbuttoning his shirt, paused. Then he smiled smoothly at the unexpected criticism.

“If I’m hard, I say I’m hard. What else am I supposed to say? Besides, I didn’t say I was hard, I said my dick was up.”

Di… Ilyeong was about to repeat the vulgar word but swallowed a breath instead. When he shut his mouth to ignore him, he heard a laugh as if it were amusing. He was definitely doing it on purpose.

“Why are you sneakily adding more words? Whether you’re hard or your dick is up, it’s the same thing, isn’t it?”

“What’s the problem? Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, you told me I was hard yesterday too. And you were the one who begged me for a kiss, not me.”

Just like that, he would poke at his weak spots at the most unexpected moments.

Ilyeong struggled to compose his expression. When he realized that the source of the words Seo Juhyeok had so casually uttered was indeed his own mouth, he was left speechless.

When you go without the drug for a long time, the headaches and ringing in the ears act up more than usual, making your reason cloudy and making you more faithful to your desires and emotions. It was only a small amount, but he had taken the drug in that state, so it was perhaps natural for his mind to get muddled. He had been in that state at the time.

Ilyeong bit his lower lip and looked straight at Seo Juhyeok’s face. His fingertips were still trembling intermittently and the inside of his mouth felt like it was constantly on fire, but thankfully, his mental state was not too bad right now. Perhaps because the voice that was pressing down on his mind was right in front of him, the son of a bitch and the winter wind inside his head were quiet for the moment.

Seo Juhyeok, faced with a near perfect state of reason, exuded a different atmosphere than he did back then. It might have been because he had seen him get angry a little while ago.

A sudden question popped into his mind. Did he also look different to Seo Juhyeok now than he did back then? Ilyeong’s mouth was parched, so he picked up the water glass the employee had set down and gulped it down.

In the meantime, Seo Juhyeok also rolled up his shirt sleeves, one fold at a time.

“I’m not blaming you. As I said before, that kind of provocation works well on me.”

“That’s a lie. It’s only at a cute level that you, Mr. Seo Juhyeok, can tolerate.”

Seo Juhyeok’s eyes lit up as if it were an interesting point.

“That’s true. But not many people have crossed that line yet.”

It wasn’t a denial, but his words sounded as if he were asserting that in his relationship with Ilyeong, that line would never be crossed.

You don’t know what you’re talking about, Ilyeong swallowed the words that were about to come out. Because a petty sense of certainty clouds a person’s judgment and makes reason a flimsy thing, worth less than a sheet of paper. It was one of the lessons he had learned while rolling around in the slums.

Seo Juhyeok spread his arms wide and rested them on the table, like the pillars supporting an arched bridge. Just like the moment he had discovered the scar that resembled a dimple on his flawless face, this time the scars that covered both of his arms stood out.

This was how Ilyeong confirmed that Seo Juhyeok had been a soldier, and that he was now the next head of Paradise.

Ilyeong opened his mouth as if muttering, his gaze fixed on the countless traces.

“That won’t happen anymore.”

“What won’t?”

“You and I getting together like we did on the deck yesterday, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

It didn’t seem like something the person who had just scoffed at his words as a petty sense of certainty a few seconds ago should say, but this was a sort of resolution.

Seo Juhyeok let out a deflating laugh at the blunt expression and asked lightly.

“The reason?”

“Because that was something that happened while both you, Mr. Seo Juhyeok, and I were drunk.”

He admitted he was attracted to Seo Juhyeok. Maybe he really did have a voice fetish, as he had said. But thinking about it coolly, it wasn’t to the extent of gambling his life away. That fact was a small comfort. That he came to know his place before he truly crossed the line.

Hmm, Seo Juhyeok seemed to be thinking for a moment, then parted his lips nonchalantly.

“Then that means it can happen again, as long as we both agree to it while we’re drunk.”

“How can you possibly interpret it that way?”

Ilyeong’s voice grew louder at the unpredictable conclusion. Only after seeing his playfully smiling face did he realize he was joking. Feeling a little embarrassed for getting worked up, he leaned his torso, which had been leaning forward, back again, and Seo Juhyeok’s laughter followed.

“To be honest… I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

“What don’t you understand.”

“Everything.”

Why he took him from Colonel Jamie, or rather, why he had even agreed to the absurd request to kiss him yesterday in the first place…

At the irresponsible words that concealed all those meanings, the corners of Seo Juhyeok’s mouth twisted slightly.

“Does an impulse need a reason? Yesterday, I wanted to kiss Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, and today, I wanted to suck you off. But when I actually lifted your body, you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, looked like you were about to die of pleasure if I messed with you, so I came to get some food.”

“…”

“That’s all there is to it. I did it because I wanted to. When I’m drunk, those feelings just come a bit more easily.”

Ilyeong shut his mouth. To say he was faithful to his instincts was a very Seo Juhyeok-like thing to say.

It wasn’t something he hadn’t expected either. Ilyeong had come from the slums with a curiosity about Seo Juhyeok, but Seo Juhyeok had not. There couldn’t possibly be any other reason. So even sitting face to face like this right now, it was all a result of his meaningless desires.

A cheap impulse. That kind of answer was enough for Ilyeong. And yet, he didn’t know why he felt a little disappointed. It was very strange. Just as he had been drawn to that voice from the beginning, had he hoped that Seo Juhyeok would find at least one such thing in him as well?

“But now that it’s come to this, I’m curious too. What could it be. Romance and fucking, what was I drawn to…”

Before Ilyeong could ask what he meant, Seo Juhyeok’s expression changed.

“Now, whatever it is, tell me more.”

“About what?”

“Literally anything is fine. I’m very curious about you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong.”

“I haven’t really… lived a life interesting enough to tell anyone about.”

What he just said was truly from the heart. Seo Juhyeok shrugged his shoulders lightly as if it didn’t matter. He had perfectly overlaid his real face, which had been as dry as a drought, with a smug smile again. He skillfully crossed the boundary between what was real and what was fake in this manner.

However, Ilyeong could now clearly distinguish which side was real. He had watched with his own two eyes how he would make the other person let their guard down and then poke at their insides with words that resembled a red-hot fire poker.

Ilyeong took another sip of water and turned his gaze out the window.

Directly below the window, an outdoor swimming pool that looked like it hadn’t been used in quite some time was visible. The lights were dim, as if it had been neglected for a long time, and the sunbeds were scattered about irregularly.

Just 100 years ago, people in swimsuits would have been roaming that place day and night. They would have soaked their bodies in the water, looked out over the sea, and imagined themselves swimming beneath it.

Back then, it was an era where it was enough to fill one’s time with just such thoughts. Now, one has to worry about things like viruses while looking at the dark night sky and the deep blue waves beyond the window. Will the sun rise tomorrow? Will the earth split in half while I sleep? Even absurd worries gnaw away at one’s mind. The difference was dreadful.

Ilyeong turned his gaze back to Seo Juhyeok. He was patiently waiting for Ilyeong’s answer.

“If I tell you my story…”

He hesitantly wet his dry lips with his tongue. Seo Juhyeok’s persistent gaze latched onto them.

“You tell me yours too, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

“I see you mean we should trade one for one. It’s not a bad idea, but why the sudden change of heart?”

“It’s just that, suddenly, everything seems meaningless.”

Ilyeong’s breath faintly fogged the windowpane and disappeared.

“You’re someone who can easily do a background check on me anyway, aren’t you, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

At this rate, his plan to get his fill of Seo Juhyeok’s voice also played a part. Seo Juhyeok didn’t even try to make an excuse and simply quirked an eyebrow.

“For me, it’s even better if I can hear it directly from you.”

That meant he had either already done a background check, or he was willing to do one. Ilyeong narrowed his eyes. Seo Juhyeok shamelessly added.

“It’s a habit. I’m just as flustered as you are. Originally, I was planning to finish the investigation on you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, and then go see you again. But all my plans have been turned upside down.”

“Then why did you join me at the table earlier? It would have been more comfortable for you too, Mr. Seo Juhyeok, if you had just pretended you didn’t see me.”

He paused for a moment and gave an unfamiliar smile. It seemed he was good at seeing through other people’s weaknesses, but was awkward now that he was the one being put on the spot.

“You’re certainly right about that.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No, I don’t. I’ve never once looked back on the past and regretted it.”

This time, it was Ilyeong who was caught off guard. He stared into Seo Juhyeok’s eyes as if mesmerized. That unwavering gaze was his history. Seo Juhyeok must have always lived a life as unshakable as that gaze. At every moment, he must have walked forward without needing to look back or down.

For Ilyeong, whose every moment was filled with regret, it was a sense of ease he had never had in his life. Was it possible that his attraction to him at first sight was due to envy and jealousy born from his own deficiencies…

The time their gazes met grew longer. Seo Juhyeok, his smile gone, was now digging into Ilyeong’s pupils. Their eyes, which had lived opposite lives in different places and different positions, thus read each other’s histories.

He felt a little sad. Because he knew better than anyone what lay at the bottom of his own inner self. What awaited Seo Juhyeok was nothing but a shabby and poor sinkhole. Ilyeong was the first to break eye contact before his entire history was revealed.

“Mr. Kwon Ilyeong.”

Finally, Seo Juhyeok whispered Ilyeong’s name in a low, sunken voice. His heart pounded as if it would break through his ribs and burst out.

With good timing, the same employee from before approached and set the table with pre-dinner bread, salad, and soup. A red liquid also filled the wine glasses with their elegant curves. The tense atmosphere relaxed a little. Seo Juhyeok let out a small sigh as if he had lost his steam.

“It seems it would be better to talk after the meal.”

It was almost a mumble, but Ilyeong agreed, so he didn’t add any particular reply. In the blink of an eye, the heat in Seo Juhyeok’s eyes disappeared as if by magic. Now, all that remained was a kind and polite face.

I won’t be fooled.

Ilyeong lowered his gaze and picked up his spoon.

*

The meal began in silence. Ilyeong stared blankly at the colors of the food that the employee was serving.

A chunk of meat with red blood pooled around it, greens that looked as if they had just been picked, and yellow and red fruits mixed in. The food, which had been somewhat recognizable when the pre-dinner bread or soup was served, became increasingly more extravagant as time went on.

He began to understand how Haoran must have felt on his first day on the cruise, asking the employee this and that with a dazed expression. This was far beyond the level of what was served in the cruise’s main dining hall.

I think I’m going to get indigestion. Ilyeong glanced for a moment at the man who boasted the most splendid presence here, then averted his gaze. That brief moment of stealing a glance at Seo Juhyeok felt more guilt-ridden, as if he had committed theft, than the food itself.

“Hurry up and eat.”

And yet, Seo Juhyeok himself hadn’t touched the food with a single fingertip. He was just staring intently at Ilyeong’s face as if testing him.

As if I won’t be able to eat if you stare at me like that… Ilyeong, a little worked up, retorted.

“I’m going to eat. And just pick one. Either speak informally or formally.”

As he picked up the spoon and took a small sip of the soup, the savory smell hit his empty stomach and woke up his shrunken brain. At Ilyeong’s words, Seo Juhyeok let out a short laugh.

“I don’t really put much weight on either. On the contrary, there’s nothing better than formal speech for lowering someone’s guard.”

Ilyeong put the soup, which was placed nearby, into his mouth and clicked his tongue without being obvious. He could tell just by watching him play with Colonel Jamie on his tongue a little while ago.

He had a strange knack for using informal speech as politely as formal speech, and for wielding formal speech like a weapon. The other person would either be mesmerized by that fact or get worked up and fall away. It seemed more accurate to say that to him, whether it was informal or formal speech, it didn’t hold much meaning.

“My guard doesn’t go down just because you use formal speech with me, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

He meant it sincerely, but an unreadable smile spread across Seo Juhyeok’s lips.

“Do you know that this also sounds like a provocation? You should speak whichever way is comfortable for you too, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong.”

“Are you saying you won’t hold me responsible for anything even if I speak informally?”

Seo Juhyeok quirked an eyebrow as if to say yes. It was absurd. Neither Nam Giyoon nor Seo Juhyeok seemed to have any idea how it would look to others for them to tell him to speak informally.

He let out a small laugh as he imagined a mere field mouse from the slums lashing out at a noble beast of the jungle. Unless he was forced to by violence like with Nam Giyoon, he had no intention of taking on such a risk.

Ilyeong swallowed what was left in his mouth and opened his mouth.

“I’m more comfortable with formal speech.”

“Oh my. Now I’m starting to find the thought of you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, speaking informally to me quite appealing.”

His gaze almost unconsciously darted to Seo Juhyeok’s trousers, which would be beyond the table. Ilyeong replied nonchalantly.

“I only speak informally to people I’m close with, or to people who are so horrible they make me shudder.”

That was a rule Ilyeong had set for himself. So far, not many had met the criteria for the latter, and the majority were people who had connections to Paradise.

At those words, Seo Juhyeok bared his teeth and laughed silently.

“Then to hear informal speech from your lips, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, I’ll have to aim for one of the two.”

His black eyes gleamed with the desire of a conqueror wanting to explore an unknown continent. Ilyeong was also curious. Which side Seo Juhyeok was planning to dig into first.

As soon as he finished the soup, the table was filled with all kinds of meat and seafood. They looked good, but they were all things that would be difficult to digest with his unwell stomach, so he was about to put down his utensils, but Seo Juhyeok perceptively ordered another kind of soup.

Ilyeong silently focused on eating the second soup, and Seo Juhyeok also didn’t seem to have much of an appetite and didn’t touch the food. He just watched Ilyeong eat with an exploring gaze.

“I’ll ask the first question.”

Just when he felt he had eaten a decent amount, Seo Juhyeok opened his mouth again. The hair on the back of Ilyeong’s neck naturally stood on end. The thing he wanted to read from him first.

Seo Juhyeok finally and slowly let out his first question.

“Tell me about the people you speak informally to, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong.”

The people he spoke informally to. It was a more outlandish and shallow question than he had expected, so Ilyeong doubted his own ears, wondering if there was another meaning. Seo Juhyeok was kind enough to repeat the same request.

“Why? Is it a difficult question?”

“Not that, but… it’s just a question I didn’t expect.”

“Think of it simply. For now, I’m asking because that’s what I’m most curious about.”

Seo Juhyeok’s tone was light from beginning to end. So he decided to think of it simply as well. It might be easier to talk about other people than to talk about himself.

Ilyeong narrowed his brow and put down his spoon. He lingered, rubbing it meaninglessly as if with a lingering attachment.

“…Which side are you curious about?”

“You know.”

Seo Juhyeok smiled lightly and leaned his upper body over the table. His jet-black eyes were as innocent as a child’s, as if waiting for the fun to come.

The people he spoke informally to. And among them, the story of the people who were so horrible they made him shudder.

He was planning to savor his most hideous side just like this. His throat was parched. He fumbled for a water glass, but they were all empty. He grabbed a wine glass and took a sip of what was inside.

A story from a very long time ago, so distant that he couldn’t even remember who he had heard it from, was connected to the current situation.

One Thousand and One Nights, Arabian Nights. Let me become Scheherazade who enchanted the mad king and fill the long night with stories. To the point where he would forget the fact that he was actually a more terrifying being than Colonel Jamie…

“On my way here, the field mice… I abandoned my family.”

At the first words, Seo Juhyeok’s eyes sparkled. His fingers traced the table spookily. A chill ran down the back of his neck along that line.

“Are you on bad terms with your family?”

“To the point where it’s meaningless to even consider the degree of how bad it is.”

Seo Juhyeok propped one arm on the table and rubbed his temple. His other hand, rubbing the table, still savored the cool sensation.

“That’s chilling. I chose my question well. If I had heard this from someone else, it wouldn’t have been this thrilling. I thought you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, were a very different person from me, but like last time, I keep discovering unexpected things. We might be quite similar.”

The interest he showed him was just simple curiosity. Ilyeong knew that better than anyone. Accomplice. Nevertheless, the most alluring word on earth that he had stored in his eardrums last time swelled in size. Dry saliva went down his throat and his toes curled.

Seo Juhyeok, who had been following the movement of his Adam’s apple, smiled, the corners of his mouth lifting. The fingers that had been rubbing the table now tapped on it with a slow, obscene rhythm.

Ilyeong barely tore his eyes away from the fingers and opened his lips.

“…Are you also on bad terms with your family, Mr. Seo Juhyeok?”

“To the point where I question the fact that we share the same blood.”

He said it as if it were nothing, but it was a little surprising. Ilyeong recalled the image of Seo Yoonseok and Seo Juhyeok sitting side by side.

At first, he had thought the two of them looked alike. However, after exchanging a few words with Seo Juhyeok, he was able to realize acutely how different they were. If that was the case, then they must be too different to be able to tolerate each other.

He and the field mice were the opposite of Seo Juhyeok’s family. They were so similar that they couldn’t help but loathe each other to the point of madness.

And so, the twenty-year-old Kwon Ilyeong ran away from that house, and the twenty-five-year-old Kwon Ilyeong is now on his way to Paradise.

Suddenly, the last moments in the slums came to mind. Ju Yunchae was the only person who saw Ilyeong off as he left for Paradise.

That day, the field mice never showed their faces at the port. Was it to be expected after he had caused such a scene? Now that there was no one to provide them with money, how would the field mice live?

Even though he had shaken off the pests that had been gnawing at his flesh and soul all this time, his mood was not at all refreshed. Ilyeong shook his head slightly to shake off the uneasy feeling. Seo Juhyeok smiled.

“Is that all for the people you dislike, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong?”

He did not miss the opportunity and dug into the opening. Instantly, a certain face flashed through his mind.

“…No.”

“Then tell me.”

Bang!

Now, whenever he thought of that face, the gunshot that had echoed through the square followed like a decoration. Ilyeong remained silent for a moment before speaking again.

“…A soldier. The one who controlled the slums.”

This time, the light that appeared in Seo Juhyeok’s eyes was not simple curiosity.

“Look what kind of mess Nam Giyoon is in now because of you.”

In the slums, Liam had said those words, looking at him as if he were an insect.

The reason he hadn’t responded to those words was not because he didn’t believe Liam.

Nam Giyoon was not the type of man to quietly let him leave for Paradise. The fact that he hadn’t shown his face until the very last day meant that there was a reason he couldn’t move rashly. Since he had fired a gun at an official Paradise event without a clear reason, he might have been driven out as a rebel.

Seo Juhyeok had a subtle expression on his face at Ilyeong’s answer.

“Is your hatred for that soldier a personal grudge?”

Ilyeong thought the question was ridiculous. What if it wasn’t a personal grudge? Were they going to brand him a rebel and arrest him?

Weighing how much he should say to keep his neck safe, Ilyeong took a spoonful of the vanilla ice cream that had just been served to him. The burning heat in his mouth cooled down a little.

“A personal grudge… If I had to say, I suppose so. We grew up like friends when we were young. A soldier and a resident of the evacuation zone being friends is a rare thing, but it was really like that back then.”

Seo Juhyeok’s lips now seemed a little more relaxed, and also a little more tense than before. Everything was bewildering.

Moonlight pooled on the vanilla ice cream he had taken a bite of. Ilyeong took another spoonful of that light and cooled his throat this time. In order to confess the weakest and most shameful part of his history.

“I liked him. Quite a lot, too. Even if it wasn’t romantic love, he was one of the people I liked the most at that time.”

“…”

“Unable to bear his family’s abuse, he ran away from home, and my father was the first to find him. My father fed our family by picking up trash from the garbage mountain, but that day, for the first time, he picked up a person, not food or objects.”

Ilyeong could vividly recall the weather, the temperature, and even the smell of the air on that day. And the thirteen-year-old Nam Giyoon, whose skin and bones were grotesquely stuck together, unlike now.

His father was the only human in the field mouse family. With his weak personality, he couldn’t just pass by the boy who was dying, buried in the trash. That also meant that the entire family had to starve that day.

“The family was furious. They made a scene, telling him to abandon the child again immediately. That was the first time I saw my father get angry. Let’s live as human beings, we must live as human beings… That voice is still so vivid.”

It was from that day. That not only his family, but he himself began to look like a plump field mouse.

Ilyeong picked up the untouched wine glass and observed his wavering reflection. The bright lights violently shook the silhouette reflected in it. However, it was not difficult to confirm that it was not the shape of a field mouse. He could only feel at ease after confirming that he was wearing a human’s skin like this, at least once a day.

It was purely because of that voice that he had volunteered to feed the field mice, following in his father’s footsteps.

I wanted to live as a human being. No, did I just want to imitate my father? If so, in my father’s eyes, am I a human or a beast now?

When he put down the wine glass, Seo Juhyeok’s gaze immediately followed it. He didn’t ask about the meaning of his act of looking into the wine glass just a moment ago. He liked that.

“Even when I found out that he was a soldier’s son, not much changed. My father took pity on his situation and treated him like a son, and we grew up almost like brothers. It was like that until I was fifteen and he was eighteen.”

Now it was time to pull out the story that he had hidden in the deepest part of his brain. The son of a bitch who was protecting him like a fence barked wildly as if having a seizure. Then the winter tinnitus joined in and screamed. Ilyeong, as if by habit, slammed his head with one hand. Until they got scared and backed away.

After a few struggles, the headache and tinnitus subsided. When he suddenly raised his head, he saw Seo Juhyeok observing him with a strange look in his eyes.

Ilyeong chewed on his lower lip and hurriedly finished unpacking the bundle he had snatched from the son of a bitch and the winter wind.

“That year, that person reported my father as a rebel. My father was executed. That person was recognized for his meritorious service and became a soldier, and now he has been reborn as the ruffian of the slums.”

His chest tingled with resentment towards the son of a bitch and the winter wind who had rushed in to protect just these few words. Ilyeong stared straight ahead, breathing heavily. He finished his story with his gaze rooted in one spot.

“…That was the first time I ever thought I wanted to kill someone.”

Seo Juhyeok’s eyes, listening to the weak confession, were as dark as a cave. If he were to crawl into that darkness, would he be able to meet his brain? He wanted to find out what he was thinking, even if it was in that way. Ilyeong opened his mouth, half-impulsively.

“Have you, Mr. Seo Juhyeok, ever thought you wanted to kill someone?”

A muscle in Seo Juhyeok’s forehead twitched once. The corners of his eyes became a little stiff, but he willingly put on a smooth smile.

“I have. I wanted to do something so rough that I’m sorry to even let your ears, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, hear about it.”

“So? What did you do, Mr. Seo Juhyeok?”

The conversation they were having, sitting across from each other at the table, was as cunning and detailed as if they were plotting a conspiracy. Seo Juhyeok did not erase the rich smile from his lips, but his eyes were so ambiguous that it was impossible to know what he was thinking.

Seo Juhyeok’s body slowly leaned over the table. Even the moonlight lay flat on top of it. He now looked so vile that the title of ‘next head’ no longer suited him. His spine tingled with the feeling of finally having faced his true self after breaking through countless layers.

“The answer to this question is expensive.”

As expected of a schemer, he knew how to negotiate the price properly. However, he himself was also a nasty pest that everyone in the slums shook their heads at. He clung on tenaciously.

“I’ve answered everything you were curious about, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

“Then say it again. With words so explicit and clingy that I’ll want to open my mouth.”

His voice was a drug. A drug that would only give the desired reward if you increased the dosage… one pill, two pills, three pills. He put strength into his stiff tongue.

“I wanted to kill, a person.”

“How?”

Ilyeong thought of Nam Giyoon’s face. The boy Nam Giyoon and his father were his entire childhood. No matter how hard and dirty reality was, it felt as if he could live his whole life with the memories of that time.

But Nam Giyoon had taken everything from him. His father, and even his childhood self…

In the slums, Ilyeong was completely alone. He could no longer console himself with the memories of that time. The reason his life had become a quagmire, like a bottomless pit, was all because of Nam Giyoon.

Ilyeong slowly raised his gaze. The ugly inner self that he had not confessed to anyone since that day squirmed.

“I’ve always wanted to blow his head off and kill him. Just like that person did to my father… No, actually, the method doesn’t matter. I just want to see him suffer so much that he’ll beg me to kill him.”

A dark smile spread across Seo Juhyeok’s lips.

“Such cruel words from such pretty lips. I like it even more. And you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, seem to know the method too.”

The secret whispers went down, step by step, lower and lower. The cunning proposal blew turbid smoke into his head.

Strangely, the first thing that came to mind was the day of the lottery drawing.

The scattering bouquets of wild flowers, the people’s eyes, the tilting world, and Nam Giyoon’s angry face, fiercely breaking through it all…

The thing that Nam Giyoon would find most painful.

The tablecloth was mercilessly crumpled in his hand.

“Am I wrong?”

Seo Juhyeok asked, tilting his head. Ah… A small gasp escaped his lips. Why hadn’t he known until now? This easy thing…

Ilyeong chewed on the inside of his cheek and faced the man with the serpent’s tongue. Otherwise, it felt as if strange sounds would overflow.

“…You’re right, Mr. Seo Juhyeok. Just the fact that I’ve escaped the slums seems like I’ve already done the first round of revenge.”

“That’s good.”

Seo Juhyeok responded with a polite smile. The face of the cunning schemer had once again been elegantly transformed into that of a strategist skilled in intrigue. The timing of his attacks and withdrawals was also typical of him. Ilyeong wet his dry lips with his tongue.

“Now it’s your turn to answer, Mr. Seo Juhyeok. So what did you do?”

“I…”

The fingers that had been drumming on the table stopped abruptly.

“I just let them run away.”

At those words, Ji Taeun’s face suddenly flashed through his mind.

“It was Seo Juhyeok who found our district. That man… he ruined our district in a very cunning and malicious way.”

Seo Juhyeok’s voice crushed Ji Taeun’s voice and rose above it.

“I patiently put in a lot of time and effort. I knew it was worth it, so even the waiting was very sweet. And then, when they were drunk on the petty hope that it was all finally over, I gave back to them exactly what they had done.”

His lips were consistently crooked.

“Falling, knowing that there’s a cliff behind you, is more terrifying than falling without knowing anything.”

A suffocating silence hung over the table. In the meantime, Ilyeong began to reassemble the stories he had heard in his head.

Ji Taeun had said that the place where the rebels from District 11 had fled to was District 23. And the person who had found that place after a seven year pursuit was none other than the man in front of him. Although there was no specific designation, it was almost a given that the target of Seo Juhyeok’s revenge was the rebels from District 11.

He still didn’t know what kind of grudge there was between them. However, the look in Seo Juhyeok’s eyes as he told that story was so intense that Ilyeong couldn’t even think to breathe and just stared blankly at his face.

Seo Juhyeok must have looked at the corpses with their necks broken and their heads smashed after falling from the cliff with those same dark eyes.

Those eyes, deeper than the universe, were a color that only someone whose fiery desire for revenge had all been worn down and stuck on could possess. It was the emptiness of a person who had finally achieved his revenge. It was the remnant of it all.

“And now, I’m preparing a more spectacular play.”

Seo Juhyeok erased the momentary, fleeting light and straightened his upper body. Then, with a languid gesture that didn’t suit someone who had just been burning with enthusiasm on the subject of death, he swirled his wine glass. Every time he took a sip, his Adam’s apple drew a rhythmic line.

Ilyeong, without realizing it, let go of the tablecloth he had been gripping tightly.

“That play you mentioned, that must also be part of the plan you’ve been working on for a long time, Mr. Seo Juhyeok.”

“So clever. I tell you one thing about myself, and you know ten… Is it because we’re alike?”

The voice, which scratched under his chin as if handling a pet dog, made his scalp tingle. He smiled, pulling at the corners of his mouth as he looked at Ilyeong’s stiff face.

“Speaking of which, I’m about to go blind these days from trying to find an actor to cast for the finale. I’m still looking for one of them because I haven’t even been able to identify him, but excluding that one, the list is more or less being completed.”

Seo Juhyeok turned his stiff neck from side to side and added.

“And Colonel Jamie Moore is one of the important actors on my stage. You, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, must know why I’m telling you this now.”

“…”

“You, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, are not on my list of actors. If you really want, I’m willing to let you be an audience member. A festival is more enjoyable the more people there are in the audience… But.”

A spooky light coiled in Seo Juhyeok’s eyes.

“It would be troublesome if you were to intrude on the stage any more than this and try to ruin my play.”

Seo Juhyeok was standing on the border between a joke and the truth. The strings of the mask on his face were doing a precarious tightrope walk, as if they would fall off at any moment. Every time he casually tapped the body of the wine glass next to him with his fingernail, a startling sound was made. His head throbbed.

The deal with Jamie had been unintentional for Ilyeong from the beginning as well. If Chan hadn’t blabbed about White, he wouldn’t have gotten involved in such a headache-inducing matter.

However, it was too late to blame others, and he had already learned far too much. He had too many reasons not to turn back and run away.

Ilyeong cleared his throat a few times to hide his nervousness and then opened his mouth.

“…What will happen to your actors after that play is over?”

“Of course, I plan to push them all off the stage. There are no exceptions.”

That was a warning that if he continued to be involved with Jamie, Ilyeong would also fall off the stage. The back of his neck felt cold. There was no place to retreat, neither forward nor backward.

Ilyeong was silent, lost in thought. What if he just handed over all of White to Jamie and got out of this brawl?

…No, no. It was as clear as day how a person ruthless enough to cut out a person’s tongue would wield him, who had no drugs. Furthermore, he didn’t know what kind of hell Paradise would be, so he couldn’t hand over all of the only means he had to win over the soldiers.

At the end of his intense thoughts, a sudden question also came to mind. Did Seo Juhyeok, know everything? That winning the lottery might be the beginning of a tragedy?

“…Mr. Seo Juhyeok. May I ask you one thing? Please answer me honestly.”

Seo Juhyeok raised his thick eyebrows once and replied in a light voice.

“I’ll try. What are you curious about?”

“How do the lottery winners live in Paradise? Their jobs? Their livelihood?”

The two eyes facing him instantly became sharp like a predator that had smelled its prey. Ilyeong held his breath and observed the movement of his facial muscles.

“Why do you suddenly ask that?”

“There’s no particular reason.”

“Stop lying.”

“…”

Seo Juhyeok’s face hardened in an instant. His jet-black eyes, which looked almost blue, became persistent, as if to see through the essence of the lie. His palms quickly became damp.

Ilyeong barely managed to pretend to be calm and fixed his gaze on the table. And where his gaze could not reach, he chewed on the inside of his cheek.

He hadn’t thought he would tell him so easily, but it was so spot on with his expectations that he lost all his steam.

Of course. What did I expect? Even if he were to confide his suspicions about the lottery to Seo Juhyeok, who was one of the leaders of Paradise, he would only be branded as having rebel ideas. He would rather not meet a miserable death like his father by saying the wrong thing once.

Ilyeong composed his expression and raised his face again.

“I just asked because I was curious about the place where I’ll be living from now on. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. I’ll find out soon enough.”

“I really need to hear why you suddenly had such a question.”

“I just told you there’s no particular reason.”

“You must have asked because you had some idea, didn’t you.”

The lazy atmosphere that had been flowing over the table now began to sharpen its edges. At his persistent attitude of trying to elicit an answer, Ilyeong also lost his composure.

“Whatever it is, you, Mr. Seo Juhyeok, the next head, would know better than me, who is from the evacuation zone.”

“I didn’t know that rumor about being the next head would come back to me like this. Do I have to tell you all about my family matters, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, for you to speak honestly?”

“I’m not interested.”

Seo Juhyeok sneered spookily with a hardened face. Even that now looked hypocritical and shameless. Seo Juhyeok’s cheek bulged and then deflated, as if his tongue had scraped the inside of his mouth.

“Several people are getting on my nerves. I told you I hate being ganged up on.”

Once he faced reality, his thoughts also caught fire. Ganged up on. Could there be another word so unlikely to ever be associated with Seo Juhyeok as this one?

Ilyeong let out a scoff. He was deceiving him by playing the victim. He was so pathetic for even considering for a moment whether to confess everything to him.

At the end of the tense exchange of gazes, it was Seo Juhyeok who spoke first.

“I thought we had gotten quite close.”

“We’ve only seen each other twice.”

“After how I fucked that throat of yours, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, that’s a harsh assessment.”

Ilyeong shut his mouth and glared at him. Seo Juhyeok patiently maintained his composure.

“I’m now genuinely curious about you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong. Let’s stop this meaningless power struggle and just tell me. What do I have to do for you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, to lower your guard with me.”

“That will never happen.”

As long as you are Seo Yoonseok’s son, as long as I am the manufacturer of Black that Paradise is after…

Seo Juhyeok was smiling as if joking, but his eyes, which were emitting a sharp, murderous glint, were clearly suppressing his anger.

“Right… Everyone is trying so hard to provoke me, so I have no choice but to respond. Before long, both Colonel Jamie and you, Mr. Kwon Ilyeong, will eventually open your mouths.”

His prediction was so chilling that all the hair on his body stood on end.

“Because I’m not satisfied until I achieve what I’ve set my mind on, no matter what.”

Sparks flew from their meeting gazes. It probably wasn’t just a hunch that Seo Juhyeok’s words were not just empty talk.

If he were to be enchanted by his fancy rhetoric, he felt that he would end up carelessly spilling his words like before. And he would eventually end up putting what he wanted into his hands.

At the end of the silence, Ilyeong quietly stood up from his seat.

“…I’ll be taking my leave now. Thank you for the meal.”

Seo Juhyeok looked up at Ilyeong nonchalantly. Ilyeong turned around without even blinking. His hands and face were all cold, as if all the blood had drained to his feet. He knew without having to look that his face was probably as pale as a ghost’s.

Seo Juhyeok’s gaze followed him persistently as he crossed the restaurant hall. As if to escape that gaze, his feet picked up speed.

As he stepped onto the carpet, Ilyeong replayed their conversation from a little while ago with each step. Seo Juhyeok had said that he had never looked back on the past and regretted it.

Then he would become his first regret. Seo Juhyeok would lament like crazy that he had kissed a drug criminal who had sickened Paradise. And at any moment, he would turn savage and point his gun at him.

Just like Nam Giyoon had in the old days…

He hated being caught off guard. Ilyeong held his breath and ran down the stairs.

*

Seo Juhyeok unconsciously brought his hand to the collar of his shirt and then paused.

Even though he had unbuttoned it a long time ago, for some reason, he was feeling more suffocated and thirsty than usual. He had been suffering from thirst ever since he had started using drugs, but now his condition was more serious than usual. He walked to the bathroom, untied the tie that was loosely tied around his neck, and threw it aside carelessly.

After taking off all of his shed skin-like clothes, he immediately entrusted his body to the stream of water. The temperature was so cold that he could feel his skin shrink tightly.

Seo Juhyeok paid no mind and quickly washed his body, then left the bathroom in a bathrobe without even thinking to dry himself.

“It’s business. My father is very interested in the lottery business, so I am too…”

He didn’t know when they had come, but there were a total of two guests standing in the living room.

Among them, Han Taeju turned to look at Seo Juhyeok and frowned slightly. To be precise, it was because of the water that was not only dripping down his body but had also started to pool on the floor.