Cold City Romance Chapter 7.1

Looking back, it seemed that in the past few years, there had never been a time when his head felt this clear and his condition this refreshed.

The symptoms of his chronic insomnia had also disappeared. His mind was clean and refreshed as if he had returned to the state before he suffered from the Disturbance. That day, after returning from Hyun Jaehwi’s house, Cha Dokyung’s life had somehow changed 180 degrees.

He felt refreshed, liberated from the hellish insomnia, and both his mental and physical condition were at their peak. Not only that, but the auditory hallucinations of the Disturbance that had occasionally tormented Cha Dokyung had not been heard at all for a month.

The biggest change was the complete and bizarre disappearance of his sexual desire itself.

It was hard to believe that he used to frequent Messiah like a dog in heat. It was a strange thing. It felt as if not only the heat caused by pheromones but also his physiological sexual desire as a man had been completely castrated.

Cha Dokyung had always thought of himself as someone who quite enjoyed sex. Of course, it was not that he would casually sleep with just anyone while in his right mind. Even without the beast-like heat from the Disturbance, he was quite weak to the warmth and sexual pleasure given by others.

Before the Disturbance, he certainly did not sleep with just anyone easily. He just had sex when he needed the warmth of another person, and he had come to think of it as a useful means to soothe his emotional barrenness or the vague loneliness that, like a bottomless pit, could never be filled no matter how much he tried.

Besides, his body was certainly, even to his own perception, highly sensitive. He was the type to easily feel sexual stimulation and pleasure.

However, for the past few weeks since the Disturbance that day, he had not even masturbated a single time. Lust or the physiological instinct of sexual desire itself did not arise at all, and he did not feel like doing such a dirty act with anyone. It was as if his body was vehemently rejecting sexual intercourse and masturbation.

For an adult man to not even get an erection and not feel the desire for physiological masturbation is a very abnormal thing. Cha Dokyyung was spending his weeks like a clergyman, as if he had become asexual or non-libidinal.

Even when he recalled Hyun Jaehwi, to whom he had been maddeningly sexually attracted, there was no particular reaction. It was a good sign. He thought it would be better if his body became permanently impotent, with no desire ever arising again.

From the day the Disturbance was suppressed by Hyun Jaehwi, not only his instincts and sexual desire but also Cha Dokyung’s mind became colder, and his reason grew even more level-headed.

Everything became clear. It felt as if a dense fog had lifted and his vision had completely opened up. Cha Dokyung was quite pleased with his current state. It was a complete feeling where instinct had vanished, and only cold reason remained sharply.

Could this really be due to the ability of the Dominant Alpha, Hyun Jaehwi? Was this state made possible just because he held my hand, embraced me, and kissed me through mucous membranes?

However, despite the vague suspicion, Cha Dokyung was simply satisfied with his current state, even if it was a temporary phenomenon. The so-called great ability of a Dominant trait holder was so wondrous and admirable it was astonishing.

There was a message from Professor Yoo Jinseo.

It was a text message expressing concern for his condition, as his visits to the clinic, which he used to frequent for regular pheromone relaxants and Disturbance issues, had stopped for several weeks. Cha Dokyung was about to write a message saying he probably would not need to visit the clinic for a while but then deleted the text.

He remembered his plea, which was close to a threat, to never reveal to anyone that he was a Dominant trait holder. That condition could not make an exception for Professor Yoo Jinseo. Cha Dokyung erased the message he had written and sent a simple message saying he would visit soon.

The Disturbance symptoms probably had not disappeared completely. This might be a temporary phenomenon. With the heat cycle that came every month, he might go into a rampage or experience Disturbance symptoms again like before.

However, at any rate, for the past few weeks, Cha Dokyung felt as if he had shed the Disturbance and been born anew.

He seriously considered whether he should at least convey his thanks to Hyun Jaehwi for perfectly eradicating his Disturbance.

After returning from his house that day, for the past few weeks, forget seeing each other, neither of them had made a single call to the other. Come to think of it, he belatedly realized that he did not even know Hyun Jaehwi’s contact information.

If the Disturbance symptoms were to suddenly start again, he would have to go find Hyun Jaehwi, and he thought he should get his contact information. But he did not feel like going out of his way to ask someone else for the kid’s number just to make a call.

It is true that his heart still fluttered when he recalled his smiling face and the passionate kiss of that day. However, in a state like now, where sexual desire or lust had completely vanished, such cumbersome flutters were easy enough to endure and let pass, and it seemed he could continue to feign ignorance of this useless emotion with an indifferent face in the future.

Cha Dokyung no longer had any thought of wasting his life by frequenting Messiah.

Anyway, whether it was by his own will or due to the Disturbance, he had rolled around with so-called great guys as much as he could, and as long as it was not for the Disturbance, Cha Dokyung did not particularly need the pleasure of a one-night stand with a Dominant Alpha.

His cold, indifferent face let out a dry sneer into the air.

In a complete state like now, where instinct had disappeared and only cold reason remained, it seemed he would not need anyone by his side. The useless emotions, the unnecessary flutters, the desires he felt for Hyun Jaehwi all felt like luxuries. It was a light and refreshing affair, like a feather.

Once the spy movie filmed in Prague was released and he finished his promotional stage greetings, a combative motivation to start acting in a new project even welled up.

There were many synopses and scripts that had come his way, but the one he liked the most was the worldwide simultaneous release series, tentatively titled <The Civil Official>.

It was a Joseon Dynasty apocalypse story, and he had been offered the role of ‘Shim Chaeho,’ a cruel and beautiful scholar who is a civil official of the literati class who hunts tigers, and who roams the town wearing a white robe stained with the blood of tigers.

According to Representative Yeom’s message, the series was a work that delicately and charmingly handled the cold and cruel nature of the literati civil official ‘Shim Chaeho’, who possessed a noble and beautiful appearance, to the extent that the master of the genre, writer Song Eonhee, had written it with Cha Dokyung in mind for the role of ‘Shim Chaeho’.

Director Pyo Woongje, who was in charge of directing, earnestly requested his appearance, saying that for the sensuous mise-en-scène that would intersperse the grand scenery of the Taebaek Mountains, contrasted in black and white, with the visual beauty between the characters, he absolutely needed Cha Dokyung’s beautiful and mysterious eyes and his unique blank-slate image. This came with an earnest comment that he had never even considered any other casting for this work besides Cha Dokyung…….

The fact that it was a perfect apocalypse suspense thriller genre film without romance, with lead actor Cha Dokyung as the sole top star, also appealed to him.

The problem was that if he took this role, he would have to learn horse riding and swordsmanship for several months and be stuck in the Taebaek Mountains for a full year.

—The reason I don’t have luggage is because I might have to return to the agency within two years…….

Hyun Jaehwi had told him that he might have to return to the agency in the United States within two years. The filming period was a full year. A year in the Taebaek Mountains, cut off from the city, was a long time, perfect for becoming complete strangers with no connection to each other.

The problem is the Disturbance. He had no confidence at all that his body could endure the Disturbance for a year, stuck in the Taebaek Mountains, without Hyun Jaehwi.

With his current condition, his body was so full of life and motivation that it felt like having suffered from the Disturbance was something from a past life.

“Haa, I wish I could live my whole life like this, with a clear mind and no desires…….”

Cha Dokyung called his manager, Director Goo Sungtae.

“Sungtae, that project…… Tell Representative Yeom that I will review it positively.”

[Hyung, if you go into this project……. you have to live in the Taebaek Mountains for a year, are you really okay with that? I heard the filming location is in the backwoods even for a mountain village, the lodging is shabby, and it’s a total boondocks countryside, cut off from civilization…….]

“Is it that you don’t like it?”

[Me? Well, if you tell me to do it, I do it.]

“It doesn’t matter. For now, tell them I’ll attend the staff meeting that Director Pyo and Writer Song asked to have.”

Cha Dokyung wanted to live crazily for work and crazily for acting, just like in his twenties when he did not know about the Disturbance.

He no longer wanted to extravagantly expend emotions on others or feel flutterings of excitement. He did not want to be swayed by Hyun Jaehwi either. It was too cumbersome and exhausting.

Thinking of that kid even while choosing a project like this is definitely not normal. Why is that kid becoming a variable in my work and choices?

Fuck……, I don’t like this at all.

It was a relationship where we had seen each other’s faces only a few times after he returned after a mere ten years. It is not a relationship like with Hyun Kangwoo or Hyun Serin, where they grew up together for decades. I do not need a flame-like passion or desire that burns up quickly and cools down just as fast. It is nothing more than a fleeting and draining passion that will only leave ashes fluttering about after it has all burned away.

Since when was he that important of a guy in my life…….

He did not want to cling pathetically with lingering feelings for a guy who was going to leave in two years anyway. He was grateful that his trait and ability had suppressed the Disturbance like this, but he never had any intention of leaning or depending on others in the first place. Given his personality, he is not inclined to ask for favors from anyone.

It is not as if he can ask Hyun Jaehwi to take care of his Disturbance forever.

Even if, he has to go back to ‘Messiah’ like before…….

If that is his undeniable fate, he cannot entrust this destiny, which is entirely his own to bear, to anyone else.

The advertisement for ‘HK Duty Free’ was a commemorative city promotion advertisement presented as a joint project with the Seoul Metropolitan Government Public Relations Office and the HK Group headquarters, celebrating ‘HK Duty Free’ entering the ‘World’s Top 10 Duty Free Shops ranking’.

The meaningful advertisement, filmed against the backdrop of a royal palace at night, was scheduled to contain image cuts of him taking a night walk through the palace in a chic and classic attire, wearing a stylish modern durumagi coat. It was a shoot that emphasized Cha Dokyung’s dignified and noble image, which seemed to transcend time.

Cha Dokyung, who had finished his hair and makeup styling according to the advertisement’s storyboard, was freely engaged in the shoot, leisurely strolling around the pavilion and pond against the backdrop of Gyeonghoeru Pavilion, which was bathed in the soft glow of night lights, empty of people due to the late-night shoot.

In that moment, behind the director who gave the cue sign, a familiar face appeared along with the HK marketing planning manager.

The man, who had taken off his suit jacket in the early summer weather and held it on his arm, dressed in a neat shirt with a stylish tie, overwhelmed the surroundings with his sensual silhouette boasting perfect proportions and his intimidatingly tall stature.

The staff members exchanged glances, whispering to each other about whether he was another model for today’s shoot.

Even on the dark set, the eyes of countless people were fixed on him. He had a knack for instinctively captivating the attention of others. I could see why Representative Yeom had shown such a particular interest in him. As an actor myself, I concur with Yeom Taejung’s discerning eye.

Cha Dokyung was surprised by his sudden appearance but deliberately did not acknowledge him.

In fact, it is not a rare occurrence for executives or high-ranking officials to visit a corporate advertisement set. Hyun Kangwoo and Hyun Serin also often showed up unannounced at ad shoots to see me. I just never imagined that it would be Hyun Jaehwi here today.

His gaze was incessantly following me.

His beautifully sculpted nose and mouth formed a handsome arc. The sensual and restrained fit of his shirt across his broad shoulders stood out at a glance among the staff.

Hyun Jaehwi, with his forehead revealed in a manly and sexy way just like last time, scanned Cha Dokyung, who was in the middle of shooting, with an interested expression.

Under the special lights held by the staff, against the backdrop of Gyeonghoeru Pavilion, where the pond was softly illuminated by night lights, Cha Dokyung’s demeanor transformed from his usual self, showcasing a variety of facial expressions suitable for a close-up shot.

Hyun Jaehwi, with his hands clasped behind his back, was watching it with a serious expression, mixed in among the staff.

Although there were a few reshoots, he never left his spot and watched Cha Dokyung’s shoot until the very end. At unexpected moments, their gazes became entangled and their eyes met, but Cha Dokyung deliberately avoided his direct stare and focused on his work like a professional.

After the shoot was over, the HK representative and the advertising planner, who had been talking with the manager, gathered the advertising director and me in the same place and introduced Hyun Jaehwi in a very polite manner.

“This is the Head of Headquarters from the main office. He personally came to responsibly observe the collaboration advertisement between the main office and the city of Seoul.”

The CF director and planner bowed their heads and offered a handshake to Hyun Jaehwi.

To be the Head of Headquarters for HK Group at only twenty-six.

It could not be anything other than the ultimate parachute appointment. Cha Dokyung did not greet him and held his head up stiffly.

As the advertising planner and marketing manager stared at Cha Dokyung with troubled faces, Hyun Jaehwi stepped forward to defend him in a heavy voice.

“Mr. Cha Dokyung and I are acquainted.”

“Ah, ah, yes…….”

Only then did the marketing manager look relieved and avert his gaze from Cha Dokyung.

Cha Dokyung gave him a strange smile with an indifferent and cold face. It was not a welcoming smile that was glad to see him. It was quite the opposite.

He could not properly judge whether he should greet him like a close hyung and dongsaeng, showing off their acquaintance in this setting, or if he should greet him formally as one would a high-ranking client. Cha Dokyung just bowed his head a few times appropriately, like the fawning director and the others, and soon escaped the uncomfortable situation.

As he took off the elegant and graceful durumagi coat, sweat dripped down in the early summer weather. A fitted, thin silk shirt was revealed underneath. He handed the thick coat to the stylist for its return.

It was when Cha Dokyung, having finished the shoot, was walking side by side with his manager and stylist, all three together, to move to his own vehicle.

A sudden rough hand grabbed him.

“Wait a moment, let’s talk.”

In front of the vehicle he was about to get into with the stylist and manager, he turned Cha Dokyung around.

Startled, Cha Dokyung harshly slapped away Hyun Jaehwi’s hand that had suddenly grabbed his arm. However, the firm upper arm that held him did not budge at all.

“……Talk about what?”

Manager Goo Sungtae and the stylist, Jungyi, looked startled at the sight of a high-ranking official, who had been introduced as the Head of Headquarters for HK Group’s main office, following Cha Dokyung and creating a scene by grabbing his arm to talk. The two of them surrounded Cha Dokyung and were wary of Hyun Jaehwi.

“Can you, let go of this for a second?”

Conscious of people’s gazes, Cha Dokyung once again heartlessly shook off Hyun Jaehwi’s arm. He had only been grabbed lightly, but his grip was so strong that it left a stinging sensation.

“……Ah, I’m sorry.”

“Why? Do you have something to say to me?”

“How could you just leave like that?”

“Acting friendly with you in front of those fawning advertising people would make the atmosphere weird, and it’s annoying. I just finished the shoot and said my thanks to the staff, so I’m just going on my way.”

Manager Goo Sungtae carefully whispered to Cha Dokyung.

“Hyung, should we get in the car first?”

“No, Sungtae. I’m getting in the car with you guys right now.”

Hyun Jaehwi was staring intently at Cha Dokyung, who said that, with a composed gaze.

“What is it that you want to talk about……. If you have something to say, say it quickly. The manager and stylist are waiting just for me to have a meal after work. They’ve been starving because of me since a while ago.”

“…….”

At those words, Hyun Jaehwi nodded slightly to the manager as if asking for his understanding.

Passing staff and officials glanced at the two men in front of the car in the parking lot, murmuring as they walked by. As Cha Dokyung hid his face, conscious of the passing staff’s gazes, Hyun Jaehwi shielded Cha Dokyung with his broad back and asked.

“Are the stares making you uncomfortable? Shall we go somewhere people can’t see?”

Cha Dokyung looked up at Hyun Jaehwi, glaring coldly and whispering in a small voice.

“Haa, Sungtae already saw…….”

Now that Goo Sungtae had seen the two of them, it was only a matter of time before this reached Representative Yeom’s ears.

It was obvious that the news that Hyun Jaehwi, the Head of Headquarters for HK Group, had come to the set to see him and had even followed him to his vehicle, grabbing his arm to stop him, would immediately reach that snake’s ears.

I don’t want to give Representative Yeom any unnecessary leverage…….

That was the man who, at Hyun Serin’s party last time, had asked Cha Dokyung if he was, by any chance, dating Hyun Jaehwi.

In this uncomfortable situation where Yeom Taejung, that snake, was suspiciously doubting his relationship with Hyun Jaehwi, it would do no good to add fuel to the fire.

“Hurry up and talk. What is it?”

“Are you really done with your schedule?”

“…….”

“There’s a place I’d like you to go with me, in my car.”

He wondered what kind of sudden nonsense this was. Cha Dokyung stared at him with a cold and indifferent gaze.

“……Where?”

“You’ll know when we get there.”

The reflection of Goo Sungtae opening the car window and eavesdropping on the situation was visible in the rearview mirror.

Goo Sungtae was practically a puppet planted by Representative Yeom. After all, he was an employee of the agency and was paid by Representative Yeom rather than by him. He understood that it could not be helped.

Cha Dokyung spoke intentionally, as if for Goo Sungtae to hear.

“Sorry, but could you please not act like you know me in front of people? It’s a bit uncomfortable since we’re not even close.”

Hyun Jaehwi stood there listening to those chilly and cold words, then, noticing that Cha Dokyung was currently conscious of his manager, he readily played along.

“We’ve known each other through our families since we were kids, can’t we even talk for a moment after a shoot? There’s something I really want to talk about regarding work, too.”

As the conversation dragged on, Goo Sungtae, who had been listening, stuck his head out of the car window and checked Cha Dokyung’s intention again.

“Hyung, what should we do? Should we go first?”

He had promised to buy those two dinner.

“Sungtae, I’m sorry. I’ll talk with my dongsaeng for a bit and head in separately.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Cha Dokyung, dressed in a thin shirt, received his phone and wallet from the stylist. He quickly took a card out of his wallet and handed it to the stylist.

“Jungah, use my card to have a meal with Sungtae before you go. Eat the most expensive thing.”

Hyun Jaehwi guided Cha Dokyung, who was dressed in a thin silk shirt, to his own luxurious large sedan. It was light attire, perfect for the early summer weather, but the silhouette that clung to his body as if it were flowing was somehow suggestive.

Hyun Jaehwi stooped his thickly built shoulders that were visible over his shirt and politely opened the passenger side door. A velvety soft and heavy voice resonated low towards Cha Dokyung.

“…Get in.”

*

As the signal changed, the man’s sharp profile, holding the steering wheel with his shirt sleeves rolled up, glanced sideways at Cha Dokyung.

Cha Dokyung was leaning against the passenger seat with his eyes quietly closed. His mournful, closed-eyed face looked exhausted and seemed so fragile it might break if touched. However, he did not look as though he had fallen asleep. He seemed to have been drained of energy from the shoot.

Hyun Jaehwi smiled and spoke in a soft voice. The car filled with the quiet echo of his heavy, low laughter.

“It’s the first time I’ve seen you make such a pretty expression.”

When Cha Dokyung gave no reply with his eyes closed, he added nonchalantly.

“Ah, so Cha Dokyung only acts pretty in front of the camera.”

Only then did Cha Dokyung slowly open his closed eyes.

“That’s my job.”

The conversation did not flow and kept breaking off.

He hated that tension. An unbearable tension where it was blatantly obvious they were conscious of each other. The reason he had kept his eyes closed was that he found it extremely tiring to keep flinching and making eye contact with the kid in the seat next to him.

He was uncomfortable. Hyun Jaehwi and I were definitely not on comfortable terms. We were not like unreserved family or friends who had known each other since childhood, like Hyun Kangwoo or Hyun Serin. It was the same for Hyun Jaehwi, that we had grown up together from birth and spent our childhoods together.

It was Cha Dokyung who had given that small child piggyback rides, soothed him when he cried, held the small hand that trotted along following him, and had acted as his big brother along with Hyun Kangwoo.

If judged solely by the memories of having spent their childhoods together, Hyun Jaehwi should have felt like a welcome youngest brother who had been away in a foreign land for a long time.

It was not because of the awkwardness or discomfort from the long absence of having been apart from him for ten years either. Cha Dokyung knew well. This was an discomfort where his body was simply tensing up because he was sexually conscious of him.

Hyun Jaehwi grinned and spoke slyly.

“Just like someone said, it’s true that Cha Dokyung really never contacts you first.”

“Who said such a thing…….”

“I see why Hyun Kangwoo is so anxious.”

The long, elegant neckline visible between his white silk shirt turned towards the driver’s seat.

“……What about you?”

At those words, Hyun Jaehwi paused and glanced at the passenger seat from the corner of his eye, and the two men’s gazes, which had been floating in the empty air outside the car window, collided as if crashing.

“You didn’t send me a single message for a month either.”

His long eyes curved as he smiled gently.

“That’s why I came to find you myself like this. All the way to the filming set.”