Wandering Through Vol. 1 Chapter 11 - Simple, First Night

After a modest early spring, summer, fall, and winter flew by in a blur.

 

The years seemed to slip away from me.

 

Sometimes the days were so long that I shuddered, and other times they flew by. 

 

By now, Yiseo had grown accustomed to her life away from the palace.

 

In a room where no one but Youngsun and her nanny ever came or went, she wrote during the day and wove her transcriptions in the evening.

 

If she worked diligently, she could produce a book in a few days, which she could sell for a modest living. 

 

The book’s elegant script was well-known and often requested to be transcribed.

 

Usually, the requests from the noble families were generously paid, so once she received a request, she was happy to buy a kettle and give it to Nanny Yeongseon or Youngsun.

 

As Yiseo transcribed the requested work, she glanced at the hook placed atop the perch. 

 

Underneath the hook was a coin that Yiseo had been saving up.

 

It was the New Year.

 

Although she had been denied by her mother, saying that her daughter was dead, Yiseo had greeted her once at the New Year, so maybe she would do the same this time.

 

“How much does silk cost these days….”

 

If I couldn’t pay for a silk skirt, I’d give her a silk pouch or have her mother Yeongseon embroider it beautifully.

 

Unlike Yiseo, whose noble mother’s upbringing had given her only the best treatment, she had no discerning taste. 

 

As Yiseo struggled to think of a gift that would catch her mother’s eye, she put down her brush and opened the chain.

 

Carefully, she counted out a penny, then two.

 

“Miss. What are you doing?”

 

Nanny Yeongseon asked as she entered the room with dinner. 

 

As soon as the door opened, a winter wind blew in, making her shoulders shiver.

 

“It’s almost New Year’s, so I was thinking of shoveling snow.”

 

“That’s the first right thing you’ve said in a long time, but you should let me do it. Why are you counting these things?”

 

Nanny Yeongseon swatted Yiseo’s hand away from the money, her heartbreaking at the sight of the brawny young woman counting every penny like a merchant.

 

“It’s my money, and if I don’t count it, who will? By the way, how much do they charge for a piece of silk these days?”

 

“What’s the matter, you’re talking about tailoring clothes with silk.”

 

“It’s not me, it’s my mother. It’s the New Year, and we should bring something to greet her, so she won’t be so disgusted.”

 

Her mother lived in a grand palace-like tiled house, while her simple daughter lived in a servant’s quarters.

 

No matter what she said, Nanny Yeongseon inwardly resented the Madam for her high pride and her refusal to accept her humble daughter. 

 

Still, she was the child of her own womb.

 

“Madame, there’s a pile of silk, but what do you want me to add to it? I’ll make you new clothes so you’ll look good when you greet her.”

 

“I don’t need new clothes to look good.”

 

Yiseo sat down in front of the table. 

 

A bowl of mulligan soup, a bowl of stew, and a cup of rice. By coincidence, it was winter, so it was hard to find any herbs.

 

Spring doesn’t necessarily mean Yiseo could go around picking herbs with her limp leg because of people’s stares.

 

In fact, it was hard for her to move around the house because of all the finger-pointing.

 

“Nanny. You know what, I think I’ll go up to the temple next spring.”

 

“Miss.”

 

“I can’t shave my head, but if I build a little grove in the mountains and work hard on my prayers, maybe my leg will improve…”

 

“I’d rather hang myself from a pole!”

 

The narrow room fell silent as Nanny Yeongseon exclaimed.

 

For a simple woman to say she would go into the mountains was the same as saying she would simply end her life in the world. 

 

No longer to be called by name, no longer to be sought, no longer to do anything… 

 

Most of them stayed that way, and died soon afterward without a sound.

 

Still, Yiseo held onto Nanny Yeongseon’s hand.

 

“I’m not going to die.”

 

“No, you’re not. You’re doing this because of the news of your husband!”

 

“…”

 

When Yiseo pursed her lips and didn’t answer, Nanny Yeongseon grabbed her hand and pleaded with her.

 

“Forget about it and just live with me and Youngsun like this. Who cares if he’s the Great Prince or whatever, it has nothing to do with you anymore.”

 

“I know. It has nothing to do with me anymore. Even if he marries someone new.”

 

Rumor had it that the Great Prince, the same man who had thrown the crippled woman out, had taken a new wife after the winter. 

 

Pity and ridicule were the faces of the servants as they glanced at her and talked aloud.

 

This new wife was said to be a very healthy and fine lady.

 

Yiseo listened to them dumbfounded. 

 

The man who had never felt truly like her husband. She had never owned anything.

 

There was no way I could feel like I’d been robbed of anything, even though I’d never held his hand or spoken to him.

 

It just happened.

 

“It’s not that I’m bitter or resentful, I just…”

 

Yiseo muttered, hiding her bare, bony wrists in her sleeves.

 

“I thought it would be nice for the new lady to be married in the spring.”

 

“…”

 

“I got married before it was winter, and it was winter all the time… I guess I was a little jealous of that, because I thought maybe she’d be different from me, and it would be spring all the time.”

 

The unadorned sincerity dripped out.

 

“That would be nice.”

 

Yiseo did not wish for the misfortune of the man who had abandoned her, nor for the misery of the woman he had taken for his new wife, for they were now too far away for her to see.

 

But a man’s lifetime is a mystery.

 

“That’s all for now, Nanny. But people keep telling me that I must be resenting the Great Prince. That I might curse his wife.”

 

“You’re not the one to do that.”

 

“You don’t know that. I don’t want to be like they say, but if I keep hearing about him… how do I know I won’t be?”

 

Remembering the ghosts that had once entered her body, Yiseo clutched the hem of her skirt tightly. 

 

The last thing she wanted was to look like that when she died. 

 

She longed to leave behind her wretched body and go to the afterlife, and the thought of being held back by such a regret was horrifying.

 

“I don’t want to blame anyone, Nanny, and I don’t want to have any regrets. I…”

 

The words that I just wanted to die peacefully were swallowed down, not dare to come out in front of Nanny. 

 

At least not in front of Nanny Yeongseon, who considered her like her own child.

 

But just because she didn’t say it didn’t mean she didn’t mean it.

 

It was not that she wanted to die with any particular fervor, but there was no reason to crave life so desperately.

 

Death seemed like a good idea.

 

💫

 

“My Eunbi, I wonder when my child will grow up to marry.”

 

In her mother’s arms, the baby blinked. 

 

A wrinkled hand stroked his mother’s face, patting back.

 

There was a commotion all around. She flinched and writhed against the hand guiding her. 

 

When she regained her senses, she was in front of a tall man.

 

‘Oh yes, today was the wedding day.’ 

 

The bride looked up into the groom’s face.

 

Park Eunbi, the newly wedded wife of the Great Prince…

 

From the moment she locked eyes with him, she felt her body grow as cold as a corpse.

 

Then the memories of her past life began to overtake her. 

 

Memories of her other lives began to overwhelm her, as memories of who she was and what had happened in her previous life with this man in front of her flashed through her mind.

 

“Ah. Argh.”

 

The Great Prince looked down at his new wife as she made a scene in the chamber. He stomped his foot on her hand as she writhed in pain on the floor.

 

The woman writhed in agony.

 

Amused by the sight, he continued to crush her hand with his foot. 

 

The cowering head lifted, and venomous eyes glared at him.

 

The corner of his mouth twitched, and he called her by her former name.

 

“It’s been a long time. Huishan.”

 

“You…!”

 

“It’s been thirty years, and you’ve become quite rude.”

 

It was a strange thing to say between people who hadn’t even been born 30 years ago. 

 

But neither of them denied it.

 

“You should call me Your Highness.”

 

Leegwang laughed at the distortion on her face. Inevitably, it was disgusting.

 

“I’m about to commit the crime you’ve been so fond of.”

 

He laughed low in her ear, spilling the details of where he was going and what he was going to do. 

 

The more he spoke, the paler she grew.

 

“…Will she cry a lot, I don’t know if she can handle it, I’m not sure if she can breathe from crying so much these days.”

 

Her hand grabbed the hot man’s ankle. 

 

Knowing what the frantic shaking of his head meant, he removed the cloak from over his head and left the shrine.

 

Outside, the noise was still loud.

 

But no one noticed him as he passed by. He walked like a ghost, leaving no trace or sign of his presence.

 

Finally, he reached his destination and stopped.

 

He pushed open the familiar door of the old, shabby room with its dim light.

 

The body of a sleeping woman, sprawled across a study table, trembled in the breeze like a lantern. 

 

He closed the door behind him and scooped the small, thin body into his arms.

 

As he always did.