Wandering Through Vol. 1 Chapter 16 - First Life 01

The bitter aroma of tangy medicine filled the small room.

 

Yiseo coughed in her sleep as she felt it slide down her throat. 

 

Coughing, she spat out the medicine, which dampened the corners of her mouth and chin.

 

“Ugh, uh…!”

 

As the dampness trickled down the nape of her neck and across her chest, she realized she was still naked. 

 

It was cold enough to chill her to the bone. 

 

Reaching up to pull the covers over her, she groaned in pain. Cold, aching, and lonely.

 

“I’m cold…”

 

A large, cold hand wiped away the liquid from my body. 

 

It hurt to even touch the skin, and she squirmed to avoid it, but he wiped her body and sat her down between his legs.

 

“Bear with the cold. Until the fever breaks.”

 

A thick finger pressed against her lower lip and slipped into her mouth, a fever-soaked, dry, hot finger that pressed hard against her tongue. 

 

The medicine flowed down her long, open throat. 

 

As she gulped it down, a large hand swept across her back, holding her tightly.

 

It felt like she was a helpless infant.

 

“What did I do to make you so sick?”

 

The words were muffled. She blinked dazedly, feverishly. 

 

The man who held her chin and locked eyes with her laughed. 

 

She stared at him, mesmerized, the corners of her eyes curling upward, and then his face came closer, and soon their lips met.

 

“Mmm.”

 

The man’s tongue tasted sweet in her mouth. 

 

Yiseo sucked idly on the man’s tongue, trying to get rid of the bitter taste on the tip of her tongue. 

 

It was more like a child slurping down a pickle than kissing.

 

“Is it that good?”

 

He deliberately parted his lips, and when he asked, she grabbed both his cheeks and pressed their lips together. 

 

He couldn’t help but laugh as his closed lips parted like a child’s, like a young animal. 

 

The corners of his mouth were stiff, and he couldn’t tell how long he’d been smiling.

 

When I opened my mouth, a tiny tongue slipped in and wiggled around. I deliberately avoided it, and it pressed my lips together more tightly. I don’t think it would have made the little tongue bigger.

 

Having been sick when others were growing up, she had a small body, small hands and feet, a small hole, and a small tongue.

 

“Ugh…”

 

He offered his tongue, and against her lips, which whined for more, he felt the reward of a long, unpalatable bite. 

 

Out of habit, he traced the smudged marks he’d left on her body, one by one.

 

He felt a mixture of regret and satisfaction.

 

If I had to guess, the satisfaction was greater, and it made me realize that I was somewhat of a mess.

 

He laid her down and spread her knees apart. 

 

He knew that her legs, which he couldn’t even force opening for him, would obediently spread at his touch, but he did it as if it were her permission.  

 

“Do you want it to hurt more?”

 

Yiseo blinked, feverishly.

 

Even now, she could barely keep her limbs straight. 

 

The more she shuffled, the slower the recovery would be. 

 

She needed to rest if she was to walk with her limp as she had before, if she was to feed and clothe herself, and if she was to communicate with others to get what she needed.

 

However…

 

“Now that I think about it, that might be okay…”

 

To be this sick all the time.

 

💫

 

一 Life 03

 

Three years as a vassal of Goryeo,

 

The maiden in the bridal palanquin doused her father’s cheerful countenance with cold words as he saw her off.

 

“Killing the king and seizing control of his queen does not make you king.”

 

“What’s the point of a throne when this country is in my hands?”

 

The father gripped his daughter’s shoulder and whispered, pointing north, toward the palace. 

 

The words were tinged with an unwashed bloodiness.

 

“The man on the throne there, the King, I crowned him king. And I have made him my son.”

 

Yiseo stared into her father’s greed-filled eyes and warned him of the future ahead as read by her.

 

“If you do not dissolve this marriage, my father will soon be killed.”

 

“You said the same thing when I raised the soldiers, when I murdered the king, when I put Liu Yanghu as king, and yet I am still alive, am I not?”

 

It was useless, for he would not listen. 

 

Yiseo’s warnings were pointless. 

 

The father took her silence as obedience and commanded.

 

“Give birth to a son, and I will make him king.”

 

She knew her future.

 

“You will be the mother of a king, and I will be the grandfather of a king.”

 

That would be impossible. Neither she nor he would live more than a year. 

 

But even if they did, he wouldn’t listen.

 

She had long since given up on him with her mother’s death, but she wondered if the future she saw was truly unchangeable. 

 

If he told her how he died, could she live?

 

“…If you go out in the winter, don’t go by the west gate. Father.”

 

Leaving him behind, Yiseo climbed back into the palanquin to see if the advice would change his fate. If it could…

 

“I will oblige you, being Queen.”

 

…I might be able to live a little longer by your side.

 

Yiseo walked into the palace. 

 

Three years ago, the main palace had been burned down by her father’s negligence, so the temporary palace was not very large. 

 

After a short walk, Yiseo stood in front of the door to the prince’s quarters.

 

The courtiers who opened the door bowed their heads.

Yiseo knew what was coming next, who she would meet, and what they would talk about. But still.

 

“You have come.”

 

The tired-faced prince sat on his bed. 

 

His eyes were dark with fatigue, his clothes were rumpled, and his hair, already uncoifed from its crown, fell disorderly down his shoulders.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m dressed like this. In my defense, I didn’t find out until too late that today was my wedding, so…”

 

Locking eyes with Yiseo, who didn’t respond, the prince shook his head and changed the subject.

 

“No, that’s a lame excuse, you didn’t… know. I…”

 

His words grew slower and slower as his eyes never left hers, until finally, they fell silent altogether. 

 

Yiseo didn’t know which part of her had touched his heart. But she did know that, from this moment on, his gaze would never leave hers.

 

Yiseo laughed softly, “I knew my marriage very well, so you need not apologize.”

 

But still…

 

What she knew in her head was nothing compared to the reality before her eyes.

 

She was the daughter of a traitor, he was an illegitimate child, and yet they knew at first sight that they would never be able to take their eyes off each other.

 

At least, that’s what Yiseo thought.

 

“Get some rest. You’ll be fine for the rest of the day…”

 

As if we had known each other for a very long time, Yiseo sat on the prince’s bed and laid his head on her thigh, his gaze focused solely on her. 

 

She stroked his disheveled hair and smiled.

 

“Do you usually laugh like that?” the Prince asked.

 

“No. Only for Your Highness.”

 

“Did the General tell you to say that?”

 

Yiseo shook her head.

 

“I suppose it doesn’t really matter, because whatever you say, I…”

 

We were enemies, and yet you stared at my face all day to see me smile, and I took long walks outside on purpose because I liked the way you held my hand.

 

What I saw was not the same as reality.

 

It was more vivid and beautiful. It made me want to defy fate and live.

 

Life, which I thought was boring, passed by so fast. 

 

In the blink of an eye, the seasons had changed twice.

 

“The Great Lord has been attacked at the West Gate and has changed his orders!”

 

Nothing changed.

 

“I told you not to go to the West Gate, but you went anyway.”

 

Yiseo stood up, carrying her full belly. 

 

She had to leave before the prince heard the news and came this way. 

 

Now that her father was dead, the general who would take his place would want to deal with her. 

 

If anyone stops him, the prince will not survive.

 

If the prince wanted to survive, he had to abandon this place.

 

I wonder how long he lived after my death, how long he thought of me from time to time, how long he remembered to say he wanted to see me again, even in the afterlife.

 

‘After I received the gods and learned everything, I wondered only about you.’

 

I’ve waited a lifetime for a relationship that lasted less than a year, and I’ve missed you for so long, even though I’ve never met you.

 

But why?

 

Why you…

 

💫

 

Why did you do this to me?

 

‘You abandoned me. Why did you come back and trample me?’

 

Why?

 

“Ugh, uggh, ha…”

 

The disparity between the fond memories of her first life and the reality of her current life was terrible, and she threw up on the futon, spitting out all the watery porridge and medicine she had swallowed. 

 

Her stomach churned. She didn’t want to stay in this small room any longer. She kept thinking of all the things that had happened in this room.

 

Shoving off the soiled comforter, she crawled across the floor and grabbed the doorknob.

 

The fact that she was now naked didn’t matter.

 

But the door creaked and wouldn’t open when she tugged on the doorknob.