Wandering Through Vol. 1 Chapter 32 - Second Life 02
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The rain gradually began to subside.
Leegwang stared intently at Yiseo, who had collapsed on the wet ground.
Yiseo was blankly staring down at her blood-stained hands. It was as if the blood flowing from Suyeong’s head, lying right beside her, meant nothing to her.
This was unlike Yiseo. She lifted her head. Her clouded eyes, as if her mind were elsewhere, looked up at him.
Raindrops fell on her face. The streaks of rain running down her cheeks almost looked like tears.
Leegwang waited quietly, watching her trembling lips until they finally formed words.
“I…”
“…”
“…I made a promise.”
It took her a long time to utter those short words. Leegwang responded as if he had been waiting.
“You called it a promise, but I called it a bet.”
Yiseo blinked her hazy eyes.
This time, what ran down her cheek was definitely not rainwater.
There was another life she couldn’t remember.
A life filled with nothing but pain and regret.
“You’re right. You didn’t trust me…”
He focused on her eyes, which were gradually clearing. He wondered what kind of gaze she would give him now that she remembered everything.
“If you didn’t keep your promise, I was to take that life. Do you remember?”
“…”
“In truth, you’ve already broken half of that promise. Even though you couldn’t remember anything, you decided to love me, but in the end, you remembered everything.”
And until she remembered everything, Yiseo never told him she loved him.
Instead, she resented him, disliked him, and often found him unsettling.
But now, things would be different.
Suppressing his impatience, he waited for her affectionate gaze and words. But what she whispered was not what he had been waiting for.
“I was wrong. Terribly wrong.”
He had never wanted an apology. Growing restless, he pressed her further. The thought of what he desired being so close made it hard to hold back.
Feigning composure was the best he could do.
“Is that all you have to say?”
“Phew…”
Yiseo let out a low sigh. Her eyes no longer held the resentment they once did.
But they didn’t hold what he had hoped for either.
Though there was warmth, it was…
“You were right.”
…pity.
“We should never have met in the first place.”
“…”
“If you hadn’t remembered me or sought me out, your life would have been much better. You were born into nobility, so you could have lived a noble life and died peacefully. Why did you come looking for me?”
If she was going to say something like this, it would have been better not to speak at all. He should have bitten her tongue off when they kissed.
“I don’t resent you for what you did to me. I just…”
“…”
“It’s because I feel like I’m the one who made you this way…”
He couldn’t understand what she meant by ‘this way.’
Did she mean he had become someone who could trample over others without a second thought? Or someone who found pleasure in breaking others?
Or perhaps…
“Do I look miserable to you?”
Yiseo didn’t answer, but her silence was answered enough.
“Why?”
“…If you were satisfied with your life now, would you be dwelling on the past? You should have killed me ten years ago. And then you should have forgotten me and lived your noble life.”
How could that have been possible? If such a thing were possible, it wouldn’t have been him.
Whether it was love or hatred, his life was inexplicable without her.
If he had never known her, perhaps it would have been different. But once he knew her, there was no going back.
“It’s not too late even now.”
“…For what?”
“To take my life. It’s a life that’s been clinging to your command anyway. Take it back.”
“Do you want to die that much?”
“It’s not that I want to die, but that I must die. Didn’t we agree that I would pay with my life if I broke my promise?”
By saying this, Yiseo was essentially admitting that she had broken her promise to him. The promise to love him no matter what he did.
So, what she was saying was that even after remembering everything, she didn’t love him…
Leegwang couldn’t hold back and asked her,
“Don’t you love me?”
“…”
“Has your heart grown cold because of what I’ve done?”
“Do you think there’s a heart left to grow cold? It was my past self who loved you, not me of this life. I’ve never loved you in this life.”
“But you’ve regained all your memories!”
Why was it that even after regaining all her memories, he was the one left pleading?
Leegwang felt disgusted.
“Having memories doesn’t make me become those people.”
“No, you haven’t remembered everything yet. That’s why you can say such things.”
“I’ve remembered everything. Everything. That’s why I’m telling you to kill me. To cut off this cursed bond! It’s better for you, and the people who loved you would have thought so too!”
‘Why do you talk as if this isn’t your doing?’
It felt like something in his mind had snapped. His vision turned pitch black, and when he came to his senses, he was gripping her neck, her body lying on the muddy ground.
As if urging him to use more force, Yiseo’s hand pressed down on the back of his.
He ignored the faint, almost nonexistent strength in her touch. He couldn’t bring himself to tighten his grip.
Likewise, he knew that if he applied just a little more pressure, she would die.
Leegwang’s trembling hand released her neck.
“How is all of this so easy for you?”
Her life, her heart—why could she let go of them so easily?
Did anything ever truly matter to her? Why was it always him who had to cling to the past?
“It’s not easy…”
He covered her mouth before she could say more. He didn’t want to hear it. She wouldn’t say what he wanted to hear anyway.
It was always like this. This time, too, he had hoped, but Yiseo remained unchanged.
So, she had lost the bet. She had made a promise but failed to keep it.
Now, he had no reason to show her any more patience.
“Are you trying to say it was a difficult decision? Of course, you’d say that. You’ve always been like this.”
She would whisper that it was a hard choice, that she didn’t want to do it but had to, that she still thought of him.
And she would claim she didn’t want to let go of his hand, yet she was always the first to release it.
It was nonsense. At least, to him, it was.
“The fact that you even had a choice in the first place shows how easy it was for you. It means there were other options.”
For him, there had never been an option to let her go.
But for her, there had been. And that difference had torn their endings apart every single time.
“If I could have let you go, I would have abandoned you long ago.”
Yiseo lost consciousness as his large hand covered her nose and mouth.
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In the mountains, where the rain fell in a steady drizzle, a tall man cradled a small woman in one arm while dragging the limp body of a young man by the collar through the muddy path.
Leegwang, who showed no signs of fatigue despite the grueling task, returned to the shrine with the unconscious pair.
He had considered leaving Suyeong behind but decided to bring him along, thinking he might be useful as a hostage. He carelessly tossed Suyeong into a corner.
If he dies, so be it. That’s just his fate.
He placed Yiseo, whose undergarments were soaked through, revealing her skin entirely, directly into a wooden tub.
He peeled off her clinging, stubbornly wet clothes, washed her with hot water, and wrapped her in a dry cloth before carrying her back into the shrine.
“Hng…”
As soon as he laid her on the blanket, she let out a pained moan and curled her body into a ball.
It was already late at night.
After lighting the lamp, he carefully examined Yiseo’s body once more. He had checked while washing her, but he might have missed something.
Fortunately, aside from the wounds he had noticed earlier, there were no new injuries.
He applied medicine to the wounds she had sustained while trying to escape, as well as the bruises left by his lips and hands.
It displeased him to see marks on her body that he hadn’t made.
After tending to every small scratch on her fingertips, he stared intently at her ankle.
‘Should he break it?’
After some thought, he realized her right ankle was already as good as broken. There was no need to further damage her already compromised right leg.
He decided to break her left ankle instead.
That way, even if she limped, she wouldn’t be able to walk properly, let alone escape.
“Hmm…”
Unaware of his thoughts, Yiseo let out another pained moan, her face contorting.
Leegwang toyed with her lips as she groaned, deep in thought, before finally making a decision.
‘If she still says she doesn’t love me tomorrow, I’ll cut out her tongue.’
That way, she won’t be able to speak to him—or anyone else. That would be fine by him.
He lowered his head, pressed his lips to hers, and sucked on her tongue.
It was soft and sweet. After just a few sucks, he found himself reluctant to let go. The sound of their mingling saliva was disgustingly lewd.
Perhaps only he felt that way, but he didn’t dwell on it.
It was better for his pride to think he was excited by the kiss itself rather than by Yiseo.
Either way, her life now belonged to him.
Breathing heavily, Leegwang climbed on top of her still-unconscious body, a thought crossing his mind:
‘No matter how I treat her, she’s mine.’
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