Wandering Through Vol. 1 Chapter 9 - Simple, First Night

Asleep in the dimly lit room, Yiseo was carefully wrapped in a thick silk quilt up to her neck, even on an early spring night like this one.

 

Leegwang pulled the worn silk quilt halfway off her body. Yiseo shivered faintly in her sleep, then rolled over onto her side.

 

If anything, her small body looked even smaller curled up.

 

He nudged it with his finger, and it shrank further. When he didn’t like it, he picked it up whole and put it in his arms, and it squirmed even more.

 

It was unpleasant, even though he knew it was the coldness of his body after being outside. 

 

He pulled her tighter into his arms and whispered, “You’ll be warmer if you stay, so why would you leave?”

 

Her sleeping body didn’t answer, and he casually touched her right ankle.  Her ankle was scarred with red burn marks from all the futile attempts to fix her once limp leg.

 

He smiled absentmindedly as he prodded at the tender scar.

 

This scar had been satisfying since it was first made, enough to keep him creeping in at night like a thief to trace it.

 

Placing her back on the covers as she slept, he pressed his lips to her right ankle, feeling the scar curve over his thin lips. 

 

He laughed softly at the sensation. He took the scarred flesh between his teeth and chewed, then sucked hard enough to leave a red mark.

 

Likewise, he realized that the redness on the ankle wouldn’t be noticeable anyway.

 

Even if it were, she’d usually try not to look at her mangled right leg on purpose…

 

Where he’d bitten and sucked on her right leg, she wouldn’t know.

 

He kissed his way past the scar on her ankle, up her calf, and over her knee, where her layers of fabric and underwear had already ridden up. 

 

The sight of her legs bared with a man between her thighs was too much for him to resist, and he slid his hand inside the waistband of her dress clothes.

 

Squeezing and wiggling the long-hardened flesh, he frantically kissed her legs, nibbling at her ankles. 

 

Her small, lean body shook at his touch, and she blinked vaguely. He quickly raised his hand to cover her lower body.

 

For a moment, her breathing was stifled, and then she drifted back to sleep, and he nibbled on her unconscious earlobe and whispered.

 

“Let’s make a wager, my lady, and see if you’re right, or if I’m right…”

 

Yiseo dreamed.

 

A man was descending a mountain path through a deep snowfall. He carried a woman on his back.

 

Then entered a hut on a ridge.

 

The five-colored cloths tied to the branches of a nearby tree swayed ominously in the wind. 

 

He set the woman down in the mess and tied her right ankle with a piece of twine. He then fastened the other end of the cord to the pillar of the pavilion.

 

The woman tied up in the old shrine stared at the man’s trembling fingertips.

 

Without ever having done any rough work, the knots made by the royal hand were clumsy.

 

No, this man was not just a royal. She giggled, then laughed so hard that tears threatened to fall.

 

One could tell she was a madwoman, but it didn’t matter; she was so full of life.

 

The shaman, Mongmae, asked the man who bound her up.

 

“Do you still think this is love?”

 

Rather, he asked back, “How can you believe that what I am doing is love?”

 

Mongmae replied, “It’s…”

 

What?

 

“Madam!”

 

The shrill cry made Yiseo sit up sharply. 

 

The dreamscape stirred. There was a commotion outside the door.

 

“Madam, you must come out!”

 

It was the voice of Old Lady Shanggung, whom she hadn’t heard in a long time. 

 

Yiseo hurriedly put on her robes and limped out. Strangely, her right ankle was more painful than usual today.

 

“What’s wrong? Lady Shanggung.”

 

It was still dawn outside, but Shanggung was standing in the courtyard of the inner palace with several servants. 

 

Despite her age, Lady Shanggung’s eyes were pleasingly vigorous, and she frowned at the appearance of Yiseo’s clothing.

 

“You’re not dressed properly.”

 

“It looks like it’s urgent… I’ll have my hair done in no time,” answered Yiseo.

 

“Let me help you.”

 

It was a very uncharacteristic thing to say from a woman who usually ignored her. 

 

To her dismay, she rushed up to the floor and took her to the room, where she dressed and fixed her hair. 

 

Once outside, she put on her shoes by hand, then grabbed her by the arm and led her out of the house.

 

“Lady Shanggung, where are we going?”

 

No matter how many times she asked, Shanggung’s tightly clenched mouth wouldn’t open. 

 

As Yiseo was dragged out on her limping legs by Shanggung, she looked back to see servants carrying various items following them.

 

When they reached the back door, Shanggung released her arm.

 

“Why are we here…”

 

Before she could finish her incomprehensible muttering, Shanggung was bowing at her.

 

Unlike Yiseo, who looked like a living ghost in the house, old Lady Shanggung was actually in charge of running the house. 

 

When she didn’t even look up, much less bow to her, she felt a sense of foreboding and shut her mouth.

 

“…”

 

Lady Shanggong bowed deeply to Yiseo and said, “I apologize for not being able to serve you well. Farewell.”

 

Servants opened the back door. 

 

Unlike the oiled front door, the back door squeaked as the servants went through it. 

 

Yiseo took a long, hard look at the open back door, at the bowing figure of Lady Shanggung, and at the luggage the servants carried.

 

The scene was familiar.

 

It was a familiar sight, a throwback to five years ago, and it was Yiseo’s short-lived life.

 

She asked calmly, “Am I being beaten to death?”

 

No answer came, but Lady Shanggung bowed deeper, and the servants all stared at the floor. 

 

She stroked the silk box nearest her. Her fingertips touched the wood grain, but it didn’t feel real.

 

Thought it would be quicker to die than to be beaten to a pulp.

 

That was my first thought. It didn’t feel real, so I didn’t feel miserable or bitter or resentful at the time.

 

In fact, I expected it to happen at any moment.

 

Like, I’d been looking forward to seeing him for ten years after we got married, or being ignored by the servants instead of being entrusted with their care, or something like that.

 

Or maybe he’s afraid of someone dying in his house because he sees ghosts. 

 

Even though she said she wouldn’t become a ghost, he must have been anxious, and it must have been terrible to sit in the house while his wife, whom he didn’t like, became a ghost.

 

That’s understandable.

 

It was Yiseo who was born with such a filthy and weak body that there was nothing to be said for throwing it away. 

 

There was no one to blame but herself.

 

Taking a deep breath, Yiseo muttered to herself again. It all makes sense.

 

She must have been sweeping the silk box for a long time. No one commented on how pitiful she looked. 

 

Finally, she spoke out, “Lady Shanggung. Could you lend me some of your servants, I can’t carry these things by myself.”

 

The fact that she could no longer defer to Shanggung was something that she accepted quickly. 

 

There were no words of disapproval, no cries of shock, no resentment toward her husband for abandoning her.

 

At that moment, old lady Shanggung regretted her past dismissive attitude toward Yiseo.

 

It was rare to find someone who could treat others with courtesy even in moments like this. 

 

Although she might not be a good wife, she could be a good master and a good person.

 

In any case, it was a meaningless assumption for a discarded master to make now.

 

Biting her lip, Lady Shanggung bowed even deeper and gave her a generous handful of household servants. Yiseo bowed in return.

 

“I’m well, thank you for taking such good care of me during my illness.”

 

That was it. Yiseo turned away with those words, only to be grabbed by the ever-calm old Lady Shanggung, who was now nervously asking.

 

“Do you have anything to say to the Grand Prince?”

 

“If there was something he wanted to hear, he would have come to see me for himself.”

 

At the very least, he would have come to say to her face that he would abandon her in person. 

 

But that was not the case with him, and so Yiseo had nothing to say.

 

“If the Grand Prince doesn’t have anything to say, is there any reason for me to leave words?”

 

The hand of Lady Shanggung on the sleeve fell away. 

 

Yiseo limped out the back door. The servants followed, leading the luggage.

 

There was no question of where they were going. 

 

A simple woman has nowhere else to go but her own family, and if they disown her, she must enter a temple.

 

Wherever she goes, she won’t live long.

 

Yiseo looked back once at the house that had never been her home and turned away without regret.

 

For ten years, there has been a waste, and it’s time to call it quits.

 

If only I had been healthier, if only I had been more noble, if only I had been the daughter of a more powerful family…

 

‘Would you have embraced and loved me?’

 

It’s such a mistake.