Wandering Through Vol. 4 Chapter 98 - Special Side Story 8

3 years later.

 

“Why… don’t you say we should break up?”

 

—Why are you asking me that? Unnie, I’m busy. Hanging up.

 

“No, listen. Yeongseon. Yeongseon-ah? Did you hang up?”

 

The woman who got off the elevator desperately clung to the person on the phone. 

 

The woman’s raised voice echoed through the apartment hallway.

 

“Yeongseon-aaaaah….”

 

Soon, the woman held the phone with one hand and casually brought the card key to the door lock with the other. 

 

Beep—

 

Along with the sound of the door opening, an irritated reply came from the other side of the phone.

 

— I’m hanging up.

 

“No, really listen. Should I be the one to let go first? Huh?”

 

— So why are you asking me that? I told you I’m busy!

 

“You’re the same age as him! You’d think similarly, right!”

 

— Honestly, I don’t know the brain structure of a man who didn’t run away even after unnie did all that crap for 3 years. If you’re thirty, figure it out yourself, hanging up. Mom would be happy if you two broke up.

 

Click—

 

The call ended.

 

Yiseo roughly placed her bag on the living room table and slumped onto the sofa. 

 

Even burying her head in the cold leather didn’t clear her complicated mind.

 

As she slowly turned her head, she saw a message from her mom at the most infuriating time.

 

「Come home early after work today」

 

Every day, she said she was meeting her boyfriend, her mom enforced curfews she never used to. 

 

Was it right to have her dates policed by her mom at this age?

 

Yiseo ignored her mom’s text and just closed her eyes.

 

In truth, Yiseo knew. Her mom wasn’t originally the type to enforce such things. She just really hated Yiseo’s current boyfriend.

 

The power struggle between her mom and her lover was draining the little energy she had left after starting her job.

 

“Ah, should I really break up…”

 

Yiseo fell back into the habitual thought she’d had since dating Dowon.

 

Wasn’t the fact that a relationship she thought wouldn’t last a few days had gone on for 3 years the problem to begin with? Should she break up now? 

 

No, Dowon hadn’t done anything wrong…

 

‘I’ve done a lot wrong…’

 

Yiseo reflected, recalling the tantrums she’d thrown over the past 3 years. 

 

Ghosting him because she was busy was basic, leaving in the middle of dates whenever work came up, making him run errands three hours away, and then sending him off without even 5 minutes of conversation, constantly forgetting anniversaries.

 

Forget makeup, she met him in sweats, sweats, occasionally jeans.

 

For the first year, she barely held his hand. The reason was simply that she didn’t want to.

 

For some reason, whenever I was with Dowon, an inexplicable chill would freeze my body.

 

Because of that, even on dates, there were many times when even touching hands felt awkward. 

 

After meeting for a long time, it had gotten much better than at first, but since it wasn’t completely resolved, even when I tried to be nice, things kept going wrong.

 

After getting a job as a graphic designer last year, I didn’t even have time for those half-hearted dates, so when I explained the situation and said we should break up.

 

Dowon went ahead and bought an apartment near Yiseo’s company under the excuse of it being a college studio and moved in.

 

And this apartment was exactly a three-hour round trip from Dowon’s university.

 

On days when Yiseo had a company dinner, Dowon would pick Yiseo up from here, undress, wash, put her to bed, prepare breakfast the next morning, and send her off to work. 

 

This was the same even during Dowon’s exam periods.

 

“I’m trash…”

 

Lately, feeling even more self-loathing in this romantic relationship, Yiseo gloomily buried their face back into the sofa.

 

“What are you doing there without even taking off your coat?”

 

The moment a voice came from behind, Yiseo’s body jolted upright. 

 

Dowon, lightly seating Yiseo on their thigh, took off Yiseo’s coat and grabbed the pants’ belt. 

 

Yiseo hurriedly grabbed Dowon’s hand. 

 

Dowon asked with puzzled eyes.

 

“Why? You need to change into comfortable clothes.”

 

“You don’t have to change me. I’m going home soon today.”

 

“Is something wrong at home?”

 

“Just. I’ve been coming in too late lately, so I thought I’d try going home a bit early today.”

 

Yiseo brushed the cheek of the sulky Dowon once and stood up from Dowon’s thigh.

 

“But I thought you’d come home later than me, yet you’re already here? You said there was some appointment at school today—.”

 

With the force pulling at the waist, Yiseo sat back down on Dowon. 

 

It didn’t hurt, but it was a bit flustering, so Yiseo just blinked, and Dowon quickly unbuckled Yiseo’s pants belt, pulled down the pants, and whispered.

 

“Then you’ll at least stay for dinner, right? It’s better to be comfortable even for a short while.”

 

“Huh? Uh, no, still….”

 

In the midst of the fluster, Dowon somehow had sleep pants ready and put them on Yiseo’s lower half, then took off the top. 

 

Dowon, who had even removed the bra, buried his face in Yiseo’s chest. 

 

And before Yiseo could push away, Dowon lifted their face and put a comfortable T-shirt on Yiseo.

 

Dowon, who had changed Yiseo in the blink of an eye and set them down, picked up Yiseo’s removed clothes and stood up. 

 

Yiseo stared blankly at Dowon amid the events that happened too suddenly.

 

Did I just get molested or something? Or not?

 

Dowon kissed Yiseo’s cheek with a smile on his usual face.

 

“I’ll put your clothes in the room so they don’t smell like food. What do you want for dinner?”

 

“Ah, dinner… Yeah. I can’t, can’t really think… I’m not that hungry…”

 

“Then how about a simple sandwich? You said it was good last time.”

 

“Huh? Yeah…, that’s fine.”

 

Yiseo sat blankly on the sofa, staring at Dowon’s back as he suddenly headed to the kitchen.

 

Was it because he was young, or because it was his first relationship? 

 

Dowon had no sense of personal space. It was like he touched Yiseo’s body way too casually.

 

In the early days of dating, Yiseo got annoyed just from holding hands, so he was careful even with his breathing, but starting last year, he seemed a bit pitiful and kind of cute, so as they gradually progressed step by step, it ended up like this.

 

‘Even if we’re lovers, should I teach him that stripping and touching without saying anything is not okay?’

 

In Yiseo’s mind, a scene unfolded where Dowon’s future new girlfriend would get annoyed, saying, ‘Why are your hands like this? Your ex must have taught you bad habits.’

 

That new girlfriend would probably be younger, prettier, and have a better job than Yiseo, she imagined.

 

Yiseo let out a sigh.

 

At first, these were natural thoughts, but now the assumption of another woman appearing made her a bit irritated, which meant she had grown quite attached to Dowon.

 

“Why are you spacing out again? Should I carry you to the table?”

 

Without even waiting for Yiseo’s answer, Dowon picked her up like pulling a radish and sat her on the dining chair. 

 

Yiseo briefly thought about her own weight and height, then recalled Dowon’s body that made that weight feel like nothing, and unknowingly blurted out her inner thoughts.

 

“Why are you dating me…”

 

She immediately regretted it. 

 

As expected, when she glanced up, Dowon’s expression had hardened. 

 

Yiseo pretended not to notice and quickly lowered her head to the plate, but Dowon grabbed both her cheeks and made eye contact.

 

“Why? Are you going to say we should break up again? Did work get busy again? Or did I do something wrong, and you hate me now?”

 

“…”

 

Honestly, she didn’t hate Dowon. 

 

Over the past three years, he had poured in enough devotion to make even a stone Buddha turn around, so at some point, Yiseo’s dead romance cells had revived and started asserting their presence.

 

In fact, aside from age, Dowon was a flawless boyfriend, and if you thought about it, the seven-year age gap wasn’t a loss for Yiseo but for Dowon.

 

‘Yeah. That was the problem.’

 

The more Yiseo liked Dowon, the more pitiful Dowon seemed, tied to her. She wondered if she was stealing away the time Dowon could spend meeting someone better.

 

To be blunt, what exactly did Yiseo have that was better than Dowon?

 

At least Dowon was still a college student while Yiseo was a working adult, but Yiseo had long since noticed that the pocket money Dowon got each month was probably more than her own salary.

 

“…I’m just saying that because I feel bad for you. Dowon.”

 

“If you feel bad for me, don’t give me away to someone else and cherish me. Why do you keep trying to throw me away?”

 

Dowon, looking down at Yiseo, sat on the floor and buried his face in Yiseo’s thigh.

 

“Every time you do this….”

 

Dowon’s voice, sunken as if he were crying, couldn’t even finish the sentence. 

 

Whenever Yiseo felt repulsed and acted harshly, seeing Dowon like this—so weak—always left her at a loss.

 

“No—no, Dowon, I’m sorry. You’re not crying, are you? Please don’t cry. Look at me—please.”

 

But Dowon didn’t lift his head even at Yiseo’s touch and asked,

 

“Am I still not good enough? Do you hate me that much?”

 

“I don’t hate you. Really.”

 

“Then do you like me?”

 

“That’s…”

 

Yiseo hesitated. 

 

The truth was clawing its way out—she was past ‘like,’ teetering on something deeper. 

 

But she’d have to release Dowon someday, and confessing now would only carve the wound deeper when that day came. 

 

She knew how vile that logic was, but—

 

“Answer me!”

 

Pulled hard by the waist by Dowon’s hand, Yiseo staggered slightly in the chair. 

 

Dowon’s head slipped under the T-shirt, and soon his lips touched just above Yiseo’s navel. 

 

Yiseo grabbed Dowon’s shoulders as he kissed upward from her stomach, but eventually let her strength go.

 

Thinking that she herself was pretty messed up for finding it easier to resolve things with her body than to say she liked him.

 

Pathetic, she thought, ‘I’d rather let my body scream what my mouth won’t.’

 

She threaded trembling fingers through Dowon’s hair twice, as if swearing consent. 

 

Dowon surged up, scooping Yiseo off the chair like she weighed nothing. Yiseo’s arms locked around Dowon’s neck; the words slipped out, raw and ragged,

 

“Don’t you ever—ever—touch anyone else like this without permission.”

 

Dowon froze mid-step toward the bedroom, breath hitching against Yiseo’s skin.