To You, Who Will Die Alone in Paradise Chapter 10

A voice, as if it would go out at any moment, caught Kellewen. At the same time, he felt a tug on his clothes.

“I’ll be fine if I just rest a bit. You don’t have to make a fuss….”

Dandeleon had raised his upper body halfway and was clutching the hem of Kellewen’s clothes. In Dandeleon, who held onto his clothes and would not let go despite his deathly pale face, Kellewen discovered a kind of desperation.

Shadow-drenched violet eyes looked up at him with a pleading gaze. Kellewen found himself unable to move an inch from where he stood.

“…Are you sure you’ll be all right?”

“Yes. I don’t want to show myself like this to other people. And….”

Dandeleon’s hand, clutching the hem of his clothes, tightened.

“Don’t leave me alone.”

It felt as if his heart had dropped. Kellewen hurriedly nodded his head.

“I understand. I will stay here.”

Only after hearing Kellewen’s answer did Dandeleon finally let go. As if his tension had dissipated, Dandeleon’s posture promptly crumbled like a collapsing sandcastle. Without realizing it, Kellewen reached out and supported Dandeleon’s head.

“Oh….”

Dandeleon looked up at him blankly, as if surprised. In that moment, Kellewen took off his outer coat, rolled it up, and placed it under Dandeleon’s head. Then he sat down, leaning his back against the bench where Dandeleon was lying.

“Um, Mr. High Elf?”

“Yes?”

When Kellewen turned, he saw Dandeleon with a slightly flustered expression. Their faces were much closer than he had expected, so Kellewen quickly turned his gaze forward again.

“Wouldn’t it be better if you sat on the bench….”

“It’s fine. I’m more comfortable this way.”

After a moment of silence, a reply laced with laughter came back.

“Is that so.”

That voice lingered strangely in his ears for a long time. Kellewen tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

It was the middle of a day so unusually warm it felt like the height of spring. The gentle sunlight poured down like rain, wetting the grass and warming the air.

The garden was quiet. The sound of water splashing from the fountain a few steps away, the rustling of rose vine leaves brushing against each other in the occasional breeze, and the faint sound of breathing coming from behind him were all that Kellewen could hear.

As time passed, Kellewen slowly regained his composure. The tension left his stiff body, and his mind calmed down.

It felt as if he and Dandeleon were the only two people in the world. Yet, far from being uncomfortable, it was exceedingly peaceful. Kellewen observed the strange sense of liberation arising within him as if it belonged to someone else.

‘Come to think of it, I’ve rarely been alone during the entire pilgrimage.’

From the start until now, Kellewen’s pilgrimage had always had companions. Sometimes there were as few as two, and at other times, there were more than twenty. They were there to protect Kellewen, the savior of the continent, so that he could travel safely. Kellewen was deeply grateful for their help, but there was also a small part of him that felt a bit of regret.

‘Even though it was a path I wanted to walk alone, without anyone else’s help.’

Before the pilgrimage began, Kellewen had subtly hinted at these feelings to the elders, but he was, of course, turned down.

Kellewen’s safety was not his concern alone. If anything were to happen to him during the pilgrimage, it would be a misfortune for the entire continent.

Knowing this fact well, Kellewen had obediently accepted the elders’ decision and come this far. If the Benoit Kingdom had not been a nation friendly to the Elven Forest, the elders would have ignored the tradition of walking the end of the pilgrimage alone and assigned at least one guard to him.

‘If that had been the case, I wouldn’t have had this kind of time….’

A smile appeared on Kellewen’s lips without him realizing it. As if in response to his smile, the wind blew, rustling his bangs. A faint scent of acacia drifted in the breeze.

It might be a foolish thought, but Kellewen wished that time would stop for a little while, just like this.

*

‘This is so damn boring.’

Dandeleon thought, one hand placed on his forehead to block the sun, as he secretly glanced at Kellewen from time to time.

Of course, the dizziness was a lie. He had wanted to come here from the beginning, so he had suggested meeting in front of the memorial, and while walking toward the chapel, he had pretended to be sick at the right moment to lead Kellewen here.

To this place, ‘the Fountain of the Dead Prince,’ which was particularly secluded among the many gardens of the royal palace and was so rarely visited by people even in broad daylight that there were even rumors of it being haunted.

Dandeleon raised the corner of his mouth in a smirk.

An elf’s hearing is far more sensitive than a human’s. Kellewen would have realized it by now. The fact that there were truly no other people around here. And Dandeleon was laid out, ripe for the taking, just an arm’s length away.

‘Now, what are you going to do, Mr. High Elf?’

Of course, Dandeleon’s goal was not to be raped by a high elf. His true purpose was to confirm the dirty desires hidden beneath the high elf’s hypocrisy, and for that, he was more than willing to sacrifice his own body.

But if even here Kellewen did nothing, then Dandeleon was willing to change his mind.

At first, he thought Kellewen, who only spouted pleasant words, was a tremendous liar. But the man he had observed while guiding him through the palace was actually very good-natured. No, naive would be the more accurate expression. Kellewen was truly, unpleasantly naive.

Just think of the conversation they had as soon as they met earlier.

Consideration? The reason Dandeleon avoided the time for worship was simply because the priests intensely hated him for being an illegitimate child. But Kellewen interpreted it as Dandeleon’s consideration for him.

At that point, he didn’t even feel like refuting it. It’s not like he could understand sarcasm anyway.

A saint who is ignorant of others’ malice and sees the world with a purely benevolent gaze. Even from Dandeleon’s perspective, Kellewen was indeed such a person.

If so, how would the future I saw become reality?

To find that out, Dandeleon had prepared a stage with no one on it and offered himself as a sacrifice. And now, he was waiting for the oracle.

If Kellewen laid a hand on him, it would ultimately be Dandeleon’s victory. He would become the prophet who had glimpsed the saint’s hidden heart. His body might be ruined, but the feeling of victory would remain, so it was fine.

This body of his, there was nothing left to ruin anyway.

But if Kellewen did not, then….

‘A very big incident is going to happen in the near future. An incident that will completely change the high elf’s personality….’

Honestly, he didn’t hope for that kind of development. For one, he had no idea what kind of incident it would be, and because of that, he had no confidence he could prepare for it. That was why Dandeleon would rather Kellewen be a tremendous liar, enough to deceive the entire continent.

‘Just ravish me now. It’s so much easier and more convenient that way.’

With that thought, Dandeleon waited for Kellewen to make a move. He kept glancing at him, concentrating all his senses on his every breath, his every movement.

“Your Highness.”

And finally, Kellewen was the first to call Dandeleon. Dandeleon cheered inwardly but outwardly, with a weak expression, he answered slowly like someone not fully awake.

“Yes… what is it?”

“First, I apologize if what I am about to say is my misunderstanding.”

“…Pardon?”

The opening was different from what he had imagined, and Dandeleon was slightly flustered. Kellewen was even speaking while keeping his back turned to Dandeleon. His voice and tone were exceedingly serious, which confused Dandeleon even more.

“However, comparing yesterday and today, I got the feeling that Your Highness… how should I put this.”

Kellewen paused and let out a long sigh.

“That you wish to develop a deeper relationship with me.”

Dandeleon’s mouth dropped open.

Considering his actions, it was a ridiculously elegant expression. To put it bluntly, he had been throwing his body at him, asking to be pounced on. So for a moment, Dandeleon thought Kellewen was indirectly mocking his vulgar behavior.

“If my feeling is correct, I feel I must tell you that such a relationship is not permitted for me, so I am taking the risk of being rude to speak before asking about Your Highness’s true feelings.”

But the content of the words that followed was a bit strange. Dandeleon frowned and sat up.

“Permitted?”

“Are you all right? You should lie down more….”

Only then did Kellewen turn his body to look at Dandeleon. Dandeleon snapped at his flustered face.

“It’s fine. I’m perfectly okay. More importantly, who is it that gives permission? You sound just like a little child.”

After he said it, it occurred to him that Kellewen was an elf who had not yet reached his hundredth birthday.

An elf’s hundredth birthday was widely known as the year of their coming-of-age ceremony. That was why many people tended to think that elves were minors until they were ninety-nine years old. However, Dandeleon knew that wasn’t the case.

“An elf’s coming-of-age ceremony just signifies the age at which they can have inheritance rights, isn’t the age at which they can take responsibility for their own actions from 30 years old?”

“That is correct. You truly have a deep understanding of other cultures.”

It was absurd that Kellewen was admiring him in the middle of this. Dandeleon glared at Kellewen with a look that said to continue his explanation. Kellewen flinched slightly and said.

“Of course, I am an adult who can take responsibility for my actions by both human standards and elven standards. That is why I am telling you this of my own will. I am a body that will become a Guardian Tree, and therefore, I cannot have such a relationship.”

Dandeleon mulled over those words in his head. Since the premise was strange, the conclusion drawn was strange as well.

“You have to be a virgin to offer your mana to the Guardian Tree? This is the first I’m hearing of it. Is it a secret?”

“Th-that’s not what I mean!”

Kellewen’s face turned bright red. His voice only gets loud at times like this. Dandeleon thought, observing his reddened ears. His cheeks were flushed, but his ears were so red it looked like they might just burst. The sight was both funny and a little cute.

“It’s not that, it’s that I… haah….”

Kellewen hung his head low, at a loss. It seemed like he would run away if he was teased now, so Dandeleon waited quietly for his answer. Only after a long while did Kellewen calm down and say with a serious expression.

“As long as I was born a high elf, I must not desire anything.”

Though the answer that came out was utter nonsense. Dandeleon shrugged his shoulders.

“Are you serious? That’s impossible.”

“Still, I must.”

“Why?”

“Because I will want to live.”

For a moment, Dandeleon doubted his own ears.

‘Did I hear that right?’

“Knowing desire gives birth to greed. Greed defiles the heart and weakens the will. If the will weakens, I may not be able to fulfill my duty.”

He had heard correctly. Kellewen knew exactly what he was saying and was also completely sincere. That was why his attitude was endlessly unrealistic.

“Because I was born to fulfill the noble duty of offering my lifespan to the Guardian Tree.”

Dandeleon opened and closed his mouth several times like a broken doll. It wasn’t because he had nothing to say, but because he had too much to say.

Something boiled up inside his chest. Dandeleon squeezed out his patience and summarized Kellewen’s rambling words into one sentence.

“So, you’re forbidden the freedom to have desires so that you can willingly give your life for others, and furthermore, you’ve been forbidden the freedom to have an attachment to life?”