To You, Who Will Die Alone in Paradise – Chapter 15

Author: nicotine

‘But there should be a wider room on the second floor… is there a reason he’s staying here?’

When constructing a building, it was common to place anything that could be called a bedroom on the second floor or higher. Dandeleon, whose only space was two rooms in a corner of the royal palace, had seen and heard enough to possess that much common sense.

He thought Kellewen had just entered any random room because of him, but glimpsing a lived-in scene beyond the door left him utterly confused.

Dandeleon quietly got up and walked to the room opposite the one Kellewen had entered. It was a typical bedroom, complete with a large bed, a nightstand, and a vanity. As if considering the view from the bed, a magnificent painting adorned the ceiling. Dandeleon lay down on the bed and looked up at the scene.

“I think it would be harder to fall asleep.”

He let out a small laugh and sat up. But as he was getting up, Dandeleon realized something startling.

“…Huh?”

Dandeleon lay down on the bed again. But this time, he fixed his gaze not on the ceiling, but forward. At an angle where, if someone were in front of him, he would see their face perfectly.

For a moment, he felt a cold sensation run down the back of his neck. Dandeleon’s eyes widened as he observed the room within his field of vision.

The width of the bed, the position of the window, the edge of the mirror visible in the distance, and even the pattern on the blanket covering his body—everything was exactly the same.

‘This is it.’

Dandeleon thought, consumed by shock.

‘This is the very place I saw in the future.’

Here, Kellewen had held Dandeleon. He had held him and pushed him down roughly, demanding that he say he wouldn’t leave.

He had thought he couldn’t make out the details because it was shrouded in darkness, but that was because he hadn’t known the place. Now that he was actually here, everything was so clear that he couldn’t possibly deny it.

“You were here.”

Dandeleon flinched and sat up.

Kellewen entered the room carrying a small tray. He neither pointed out Dandeleon’s rudeness in intruding into his room nor showed any displeasure at his actions. He simply approached Dandeleon and handed him the tray with a teacup on it.

“Please drink. It is a tea that will warm your body.”

As if possessed, Dandeleon accepted the teacup. The scene, now with Kellewen in it, approached with an even more familiar confusion. It wouldn’t be strange if he pounced on him right now, yet Kellewen’s expression showed no such desire at all.

His gaze was clear and warm. He also looked a little sad.

“Once you’ve had some and calmed down, I will look at your wounds.”

“Are you pitying me?”

Dandeleon said, tightening his grip on the teacup. He had momentarily forgotten, startled by the scenery of the room.

The fact that he had shown him a shameful sight, and because of that, Kellewen’s view of him had changed. Dandeleon ground his teeth.

“You kept avoiding me, but as soon as I get hit a few times, you show up? If I had known, I would have gotten myself beaten up sooner.”

“…Does this happen often?”

Kellewen flinched as if he had heard something terrible. That small movement ignited Dandeleon’s anger.

“What business is that of yours!”

Dandeleon threw the teacup in his hand. He expected the sound of the cup shattering, but he couldn’t get the result he wanted. The teacup rolled on the carpet, spilling the tea, but it didn’t break. Dandeleon let out a curse and tore at his own hair. He felt like he was going crazy, a mix of anger and frustration.

“Your Highness, please calm down….”

Kellewen gripped his shoulders with both hands. Dandeleon threw his head back and looked up at him.

The savior of the continent and a pitiful livestock. The one who saved me today but will ruin me in the future. A beautiful elf full of contradictions.

Looking at that face, Dandeleon thought.

There is no need to fear him. I am not afraid of the future either. It wasn’t because he knew how to avoid the future. It was simply because he had realized a very simple fact.

Even if Kellewen didn’t ruin him, Dandeleon was already a complete mess.

So what was he so afraid of that he had been trying so hard to avoid him?

Dandeleon reached out and pulled him. It was a pathetic amount of force, so he could have resisted if he wanted to, but Kellewen obediently followed his movement. Kellewen’s body fell forward.

Dandeleon looked at his promised ruin.

Kellewen was half-prone, supporting his body with both arms. Dandeleon lay beneath him, as if pinned, and observed Kellewen’s reaction. It was the most intimate contact they had ever had. Their lower bodies were already overlapping, and their faces were so close that they would touch if he just lowered his head a little.

But contrary to his expectations, Kellewen was not flustered or embarrassed. He looked down at Dandeleon with a thoughtful expression.

“You’re not running away this time?”

Dandeleon, not liking that expression, said provocatively. But Kellewen suddenly said something completely different.

“There is something I am curious about.”

“What is it.”

“Why do you want me?”

Dandeleon opened his mouth, then closed it.

I don’t want you.

‘…What kind of expression would he make if I said that?’

He thought to himself, looking into the searching green eyes.

I just happened to see the future, and the you in the future was so different from the you now. In the future I saw, you were nothing more than a beast, honest with your desires….

And that fact, was actually a little pleasant.

But because you are loved by everyone, because everyone is desperate to just meet your eyes once, to just touch the hem of your clothes once, if I were to say that I hated that so very much.

That actually, I just wanted to confirm your dark side, because then I thought I could laugh at the people who love you to my heart’s content.

What would happen if I honestly said that was all there was to it?

As if in confession.

‘…There’s no way I could say it.’

Dandeleon smiled.

He had no intention of putting his true feelings into words. That was something a ten-year-old child would do. And it had been a long time since Dandeleon had turned ten. From the moment he entered this splendid prison, he was an adult, and had to be an adult.

Adults never speak honestly. Adults must lie. At least here, in this terrible place, that was the rule.

“…Because you are beautiful.”

Dandeleon raised his hand and caressed the side of Kellewen’s ear. Feeling the soft downy hair stand on end with the tip of his finger, he moved his hand down to cup his cheek. Cradling the warm, soft cheek as if it were precious, Dandeleon said.

“Because you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.”

Like ink spreading in clear water, the white cheek flushed with a rosy hue. The beautiful eyes widened slightly, then curved gently, holding pure joy. The moment Kellewen shyly turned his head slightly, a sunbeam caught and tangled in his dark eyelashes. Through his slightly parted lips, a tongue as red as a pomegranate could be seen.

Dandeleon thought he wanted to swallow his lips right then and there.

“To be seen so favorably… I am truly happy.”

Though he hadn’t expected such old-fashioned words to come from those lips. Dandeleon suddenly felt as if cold water had been thrown on him and looked at Kellewen with a sour expression.

‘Wow… his way of speaking is really like an old man’s.’

At ninety-nine years old, it’s an age that would more than classify as an old man. Dandeleon let out a sigh. Whether he knew his feelings or not, Kellewen continued his clichéd talk with a very serious attitude.

“But I cannot form a deep relationship with others. A relationship comes with responsibility, and I cannot take that responsibility.”

“Responsibility? Men can’t get pregnant if they do it, you know?”

Kellewen was silently appalled. He shot up, and as if fleeing from Dandeleon, he scrambled to the other side of the bed. He covered his reddened face with his hands and shouted.

“I-I am not talking about that kind of responsibility!”

“Then what is it?”

Dandeleon started to approach him, then stopped. It seemed Kellewen would run away again if he got any closer.

Kellewen, sitting in a rather uncomfortable position on the edge of the bed, hesitated before suddenly spouting something absurd.

“A-anyway, if we have sex… we must… get married.”

“…Pardon?”

What new kind of old-fashioned talk was this? It was an idea that was about 100 or 200 years behind the times even by human standards. To think an elf, not even a human, was saying something that even picky priests would refrain from saying in modern times.

“But I will be offering my lifespan to the Guardian Tree, so I cannot leave such a scar on a spouse….”

“Do elves get married if they have sex?”

Kellewen’s body convulsed again. Kellewen, his face, ears, and the nape of his neck all flushed red, spoke to Dandeleon almost resentfully.

“Of course, that… not all elves are like that, but….”

“Yes. Aren’t elves rather open about sex? I heard they even have a lot of orgies.”

“O-orgies…! What, that is also not something all elves do!”

“I get it, I get it. It’s just a tendency, right? But why are you like this? Did they tell you to be like this in the Elven Forest? What was it? The elders?”

“No. It’s just, I….”

Kellewen fumbled for a long time, searching for words. Then he hung his head low and finally mumbled out these words.

“It’s just my values….”

Dandeleon’s expression contorted.

‘He’s sitting there spouting nonsense.’

Values are not something that are just born one day out of the blue. They are formed under the influence of everything that constitutes one’s life, including one’s primary caregivers, family, the society and culture surrounding them, region, and religion.

But Kellewen had values that were rare not only among his own kind, but across the entire continent. Isn’t it stranger to think there’s no intention behind this?

Dandeleon furrowed his brow and sank into thought.

After a moment, he threw a slightly different kind of question at Kellewen.

“Have you ever had a drink before?”

“A drink?”

Kellewen made a puzzled face but answered diligently.

“No, I was taught not to touch it as it ruins the body and clouds the mind.”

“What do you usually eat?”

“I eat leafy vegetables and fruit. Because I must keep my body pure.”

“You don’t like sweet things?”

“I know that sugar is a food that corrupts the mind, so I stay away from it.”

“…You don’t smoke, of course?”

“What is smoking?”