To You, Who Will Die Alone in Paradise Chapter 34

Dandeleon burrowed into Kellewen’s embrace, erasing his face from his sight. The distance between them grew closer, but at least he could avoid meeting his eyes. The time he was permitted was only a few days. So until then, just until then…

“Are you leaving as soon as they arrive?”

Dandeleon asked, pressing his forehead against Kellewen’s chest. He could feel Kellewen’s chest swell slightly as he took a breath to answer. That small movement felt like proof that he was still alive, and it made him feel a strange pang in his heart.

“It is not likely.”

Kellewen replied.

“It will depend on Herma’s judgment, but since the delegation sent from the Elven Forest is with them, they will stay here for at least two days.”

“Herma?”

Dandeleon, who had been relieved at the fact that there was more time, tilted his head at the unfamiliar word. Since he was not well-versed in the elven language, he couldn’t even guess if it was a name or a word with another meaning. Kellewen smiled faintly.

“He is the leader of the Tuella Deum. My cousin, and my closest friend.”

A friend. He didn’t show it, but he was honestly surprised. He didn’t think Kellewen would have a friend.

It wasn’t that there was a problem with Kellewen’s personality. The Elven Forest had put a lot of effort into controlling Kellewen. Naturally, they would have strictly managed his social relationships as well. The thought, which had been flowing smoothly, reached an unpleasant point.

Could a Kellewen who was so well-managed have made a proper friend?

The fact that Herma was the leader of the Tuella Deum also bothered him. The Tuella Deum was an organization that protected the Elven Forest. The details were veiled in secrecy, like other aspects of elven culture, but he vaguely remembered hearing that its leader was appointed by the elders.

Was it really a coincidence that Kellewen’s closest friend was an elf appointed by the elders? Dandeleon thought it was absolutely not.

“What kind of elf is Herma?”

Dandeleon pulled away from Kellewen’s embrace and asked, looking him in the eye. Kellewen paused in thought for a moment before answering.

“He is the best archer among all the elves I know.”

“…I see.”

It was a surprisingly unhelpful explanation. Dandeleon’s energy drained away. Kellewen, oblivious to his thoughts, continued to pile on useless information about Herma.

“He is a great monster hunter. His martial prowess is outstanding, as is his knowledge. With a sense of mission to save the continent from the hands of monsters, he dedicated himself to monster research and produced excellent results. He probably knows more about monsters than anyone else on this continent.”

The commander of a knightly order who is good at archery and also good at studying? He really seemed like he would have a boring personality. To dig up more information about him, Dandeleon once again threw out a half-joking question.

“Isn’t there anything more interesting to say? Like he’s incredibly handsome or something.”

But the reaction to this was unexpectedly strong. Kellewen’s face suddenly hardened, and he sat up. Then he said in a serious tone.

“Leon, it is better for you not to get close to Herma.”

Dandeleon’s mood soured in an instant. The reason he had asked about Herma was because he was curious if he was Kellewen’s real friend, not because he wanted to get close to an elf he had never even seen. Because of his displeasure, Dandeleon’s tone became sharp.

“Why, are you worried I’ll throw myself at your cousin?”

“That is not… what I meant.”

Kellewen said that, but Dandeleon’s already soured mood did not change. As Dandeleon pressed his lips together and showed his discomfort, Kellewen explained in a fluster.

“Herma is a stickler for principles. He is especially defensive when it comes to my problems… if he finds out that we have become like this, it will surely cause you harm.”

“No, so you’re worried I’ll tell that elf we had sex? I’ll barely even see his face at the welcome party at most, so are you telling me to watch my mouth because you’re afraid I’ll say I took your virginity in a place with His Majesty and everyone else?”

“No. It is not like that, but… I just wish you would keep your distance from Herma.”

Kellewen answered hastily. And yet, the way he added one last thing at the end was exasperating.

Dandeleon got out of bed. Kellewen was taken aback.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yes. I am leaving.”

Dandeleon deliberately imitated Kellewen’s way of speaking. But Kellewen showed no reaction to it and started to get dressed, saying he would see him off.

“Don’t say such a ridiculous thing unless you want to be beaten to death by Zellos.”

Dandeleon also said as he picked up the clothes he had thrown off.

How worried Zellos had been when he said he was going to see the king after being sick for a while and had just recovered. Now that it was later than expected, he would be on edge.

And in that situation, he runs into Kellewen, who had been bothering him for a while?

Dandeleon, who knew that Zellos had an unexpectedly hot temper, was genuinely worried. He might just throw a punch without considering their difference in status.

And what was infuriating was that Kellewen would probably just take the hit. I can’t bear to see that happen.

“…Your servant cares for you very deeply.”

Kellewen muttered.

Dandeleon didn’t hear him. He was busy finding his clothes scattered around the living room. Finally, after finding the cravat that had rolled under the sofa, Dandeleon shouted toward the bedroom.

“I’m leaving!”

He had expected Kellewen to come out to the entrance to see him off when he said that, but in the end, Kellewen didn’t show himself. He only bade him farewell in a low voice.

Dandeleon’s mood worsened. He felt pathetic for trying to be considerate of Kellewen.

What do I care if his friend is real or fake? Let him handle it himself.

Dandeleon stormed out of Ardenberg.

Left alone, Kellewen keenly felt his mistake. He shouldn’t have said it that way. He fully understood why Dandeleon’s feelings were hurt.

But he couldn’t help it. The moment Dandeleon showed interest in Herma, he felt such a great sense of crisis that his mouth had uttered the words on its own.

Herma was a typical elf. As Dandeleon had pointed out before, elven society was open about sex, and Herma was no exception.

Moreover, he was handsome and capable, so he was popular with both men and women. Kellewen didn’t know much about his private life, but he at least knew that Herma was the type to not stop those who came and not hold on to those who left.

But just thinking about what would happen if he met Dandeleon was frightening. If by some chance he showed even the slightest interest in Dandeleon…

Kellewen suddenly realized how selfish his thoughts were and gave a self-deprecating smile.

What would he do if he showed interest?

Kellewen was not Dandeleon’s lover. Dandeleon had firmly rejected his proposal. Seeing how he had emphasized not only at the sea but again today that he would not marry him, he could see that his conviction was firm. Unless Kellewen chose him over the world, Dandeleon’s heart would not change.

So he had no right to interfere with Dandeleon’s choices, but… Kellewen’s head dropped.

It was just terrible. Just the thought of Dandeleon getting close to Herma, no, just imagining them talking to each other felt like his insides were burning black. An inexplicable anger and displeasure constricted him. He knew it was a cowardly emotion, but he couldn’t suppress it.

‘How utterly pathetic.’

Kellewen bitterly laughed at his own state. The time when he could calmly suppress all his desires and emotions felt like a past from more than 10 years ago. The current Kellewen, instead of worrying about his beloved’s future, was burning himself up in premature jealousy, afraid that he would be with someone else.

An intensely foolish act.

But that was precisely an act possible because he was alive.

Kellewen lay down on the bed and inhaled deeply, filling his lungs. As if to trap all the traces of Dandeleon left in the air inside him.

“How about this one?”

“I told you I don’t like ones with patterns that are too flashy. Don’t you have anything a little more modest?”

“You don’t even buy modest ones, so what are you talking about? Then how about this one?”

“Pink? Are you serious? It doesn’t suit me at all.”

“Then this black one…”

“It’s not like I’m going to a funeral, black for a party is a bit much, Zellos.”

“…Mr. Leon, you’re just doing this because you don’t want to go, aren’t you?”

Dandeleon flinched. When he subtly glanced in the mirror, Zellos had his hands on his hips and was glaring at him. With his ears perked up, Zellos grumbled at Dandeleon.

“Honestly, you don’t care about a cravat at all, do you? Since when did you ever care so much about going to an event?”

“No… it’s just that today isn’t just any event.”

He had been hit where it hurts, but Dandeleon, not wanting to admit it, scrambled for an excuse.

“I thought only elves were coming, who would have known it would turn into a continental festival.”

A few hours ago, the Tuella Deum and the elven delegation had safely entered Benoit. The three delegates and seven members of the Tuella Deum had an audience with the king as soon as they arrived to convey their greetings along with a gift. According to rumors, the gift was so substantial that the king was very pleased.

But the guests visiting Benoit were not only elves. To celebrate the end of the High Elf’s pilgrimage, envoys sent from various countries successively crossed the threshold of the Benoit royal family. Most were from human kingdoms, but there were occasional non-human races as well.

As a result, the number of countries participating in this evening’s banquet, including Benoit, was fifteen. It was at a level where it would be more appropriate to call it an international exchange rather than a banquet.

For Dandeleon, who disliked large gatherings, this situation was nothing short of a disaster. He had barely made the decision to go, but upon hearing that there were more participants than expected, he couldn’t bring himself to move. The real reason he had been dawdling under the pretext of choosing a cravat was because of that. Though he would never say it out loud.

“Hmm… I think this one will be good after all. Thanks, Zellos.”

Dandeleon said as he tied the cravat Zellos had first handed him. Zellos let out a sigh but refrained from any further nagging. He just made a few groaning sounds as he tidied up the clothes Dandeleon had carelessly thrown about.

Dandeleon, pretending to adjust his attire, stole glances at Zellos in the mirror.

Ever since the day they had argued, Dandeleon had been constantly watching Zellos. Zellos acted as if the argument between them had never existed from the start, but Dandeleon couldn’t do the same. Because he had come to realize that Zellos was very dissatisfied with life in the palace, or with some other problem.