To You, Who Will Die Alone in Paradise Chapter 39

He had not told a single lie. After all, it was Kellewen who had said he could not abandon his duty in the end when Dandeleon asked him to choose him over the world. They had a physical relationship once after that, but he still had no intention of defining their relationship as that of lovers.

Herma faltered, at a loss for words. Pure, unadorned surprise spread across his face. Then, laughter burst out.

“Haha! You are truly honest!”

Herma’s attitude as he said that also seemed more frank than before. He kept chuckling even after he spoke, as if he genuinely found it amusing. Dandeleon felt Herma’s gaze toward him soften a little.

“You are the first person to speak in such a way, Your Highness.”

Honestly, Dandeleon was bewildered as to what Herma had liked so much, so his reply was also cautious. He mumbled to Herma.

“Uh… I am sure I am not the only one who has confessed to the High Elf and been rejected.”

“Ah, that is true. Among them, there were many who did things so vulgar that the word ‘confession’ would be an embarrassment.”

Dandeleon laughed as if it were amusing, but inwardly he felt a cool tension. It was because he could not tell whether Herma’s words were aimed at him or not. When it came to vulgar acts, Dandeleon was no slouch either. Though, considering Kellewen’s innocent reaction, it was somewhat surprising that such things had happened before.

“Fortunately, no unfortunate incidents ever occurred. I always stopped them.”

Dandeleon imagined Herma cutting down the handsome men and beautiful women who approached Kellewen with a merciless expression. He probably did not actually harm them, but he would have coldly cut them off as if with a knife. Herma continued, laughing repeatedly.

“So when he said he wanted to do the last part of the pilgrimage alone, I was secretly worried. Ah, it is not that I do not trust the Benoit royal family or its people. It is just that Kellewen is so beautiful, and his personality is the way it is….”

“The way it is?”

“He is not firm, is he? And he does not know how to be suspicious.”

That was true. He actually believes Herma, whom the elders placed by his side, to be his closest friend. Dandeleon nodded with a meaningful expression. Herma, who had no way of knowing what he was thinking, continued with a grin.

“So I rather like someone who speaks so honestly. But did Kellewen refuse you? Such a beautiful prince?”

It was the point where he should have been repulsed by the cheesy line, but Dandeleon grew tense instead. After all, the word Herma had whispered in the future he had seen was also ‘beautiful’. Dandeleon avoided Herma’s gaze and said.

“The High Elf has a more important duty. He said he could not abandon his duty, so I gave up my feelings.”

“Yes, to Kellen, that is all that is important….”

Herma muttered to himself.

Dandeleon’s heart sank. The fact that Herma so casually uttered the pet name ‘Kellen’ unexpectedly churned Dandeleon’s heart greatly.

Herma is Kellewen’s old friend. So a pet name would be natural, but it was strange that it felt so unpleasant. It felt as if a precious object had been stolen from him by Herma.

“The wound from my broken heart is too great, so I do not wish to speak of it any further.”

Dandeleon said. It was funny that he could feel his own voice had become sharp. Herma shook his head with an apologetic look.

“Oh my, I did not mean to trouble you, Your Highness. I suppose since you seemed close with Kellewen, I inadvertently treated you like a friend as well.”

He paused for a moment before opening his mouth again. The voice that followed was lower and more suggestive than before.

“Even though the two of you are nothing to each other now.”

He is testing me. It was so obvious, but his mood plummeted nonetheless. Dandeleon closed his eyes and let out an irritated groan. He had been thinking it ever since he entered this room, but now he really wanted to leave.

“If you have nothing more to say, may I go?”

“You really are offended. I apologize. I was rude.”

Even when apologizing, Herma was annoyingly relaxed. He pushed the small bottle on the table toward Dandeleon.

“Still, I hope you will accept this. I heard you took good care of Kellewen during his stay here, so I must repay you for that, must I not.”

Dandeleon looked at the bottle, wary that Herma might reach out his hand again. Seeing his reaction, Herma chuckled and raised both his hands as if in surrender. After confirming the signal that he would not touch him, Dandeleon quickly snatched the bottle.

“Try drinking it with a drop in water every day. You will feel your body getting healthier.”

Dandeleon smiled and offered his thanks. But in truth, he had no intention of even putting such a medicine to his lips. How could he trust a medicine given by someone as black-hearted as Herma? For all he knew, everything he was spouting now was a lie, and it could be a ploy to poison the prince who had taken Kellewen’s virginity.

If someone heard this, they might say Dandeleon’s delusions were severe, but that was something only someone who had never met Herma would say. If you actually met and spoke with this Elf, it was glaringly obvious that he was a man capable of doing things even worse than that.

“Thank you for giving me something so precious. This is a humble gift, but….”

Still, Herma was not just any Elf but the leader of Tuella Deum, and Dandeleon was not a beggar on the street but a prince, so he had to show diplomatic courtesy. When Dandeleon handed him the box he had placed next to his chair, Herma refused with a formal attitude.

“No. Is it not amusing for me to receive a return gift for a gift I gave to repay a kindness?”

“My heart will be uneasy if you do not accept at least this. It is something Her Majesty the Queen specially prepared, so please accept it.”

This was probably the first time since entering the palace that Dandeleon had uttered such ‘princely’ words. He had never had any connection with such acts of socializing, politics, and exchanging pleasantries, so to be doing this with an Elf, of all beings, not even a human, was quite a grand farce.

Fortunately, Herma did not refuse any further. He took the box from Dandeleon and opened it right away. Herma’s face brightened as he checked the inside of the box.

“It is a crystal!”

‘So it was a crystal.’

Dandeleon, who had only vaguely guessed it was some kind of raw gemstone, nodded with a nonchalant expression. Herma picked up a large stone and examined it from all angles with an excited look.

“Such a large raw stone… Thank you. This will be a great help.”

He wanted to ask what on earth he used raw gemstones for, but if he did, it would reveal that he knew nothing about the gift, so he just kept his mouth shut. Besides, Dandeleon’s patience was already wearing thin. He had no desire for any more conversation with Herma.

“Then I will be going. I hope your stay in Benoit is a comfortable one.”

Dandeleon stood up and offered his final farewell. Herma rose to follow him.

“You could at least have some tea before you go….”

Dandeleon’s gaze lingered on the teacup, from which the scent of rotting leaves emanated, before returning to Herma’s face.

“I apologize. I do not feel well.”

Herma made a disappointed face but did not try to hold him back any longer. Though he did follow Dandeleon, saying he would see him off. He was afraid of how far he would see him off, but fortunately, Herma stopped at the entrance. He opened the front door and stepped aside to let Dandeleon pass.

It was when Dandeleon passed in front of Herma and went through the door.

“Your Highness, do you truly have no feelings for Kellewen anymore?”

A voice came from behind him.

The back of his neck felt cold. He could feel Herma staring at him. If he turned around, he felt he would meet those blue eyes. Sharp, unpleasant eyes that dissected him as if for an autopsy.

Dandeleon took another step out into the sunlit exterior. He answered without looking back, facing forward.

“I want a lover who values me alone more than the entire world.”

Dandeleon said.

“Is that so.”

As if that were the right answer, a hint of laughter mixed into Herma’s voice.

“A fine choice.”

After Dandeleon left, Herma leaned against the entrance and gathered his thoughts.

He knew what kind of person Dandeleon Benoit was even before meeting him. That he was the king’s illegitimate son with a body that would not live long, that he had caused some trouble for a while but was recently living quietly, and even that his mother was an unidentified person who had collapsed on the seashore with memory loss and was now dead. All of it.

It was not anything special. He had investigated this much about the other members of the Benoit royal family as well. He had heard that Dandeleon had been chosen as Kellewen’s guide, but he had dismissed it as something that always happened wherever they went.

Herma began to pay attention to Dandeleon when an unsettling story came from the spy he had planted in Ardenberg. The news was that Kellewen had saved Dandeleon from being beaten by his older brother, and that they had shared intimate contact in the process. The spy even left a speculation that the relationship between the two might be deeper.

Kellewen had formed a deep relationship with someone. Herma was genuinely surprised to hear that news. It was because it was such a different path from the Kellewen he knew.

Kellewen Amos Rioselia was a perfect specimen of a High Elf created by the Elves’ forest. His life was nothing more than a process leading toward duty, and Kellewen himself knew that fact well.

A noble Elf who had accepted all the teachings of the Elves’ forest, and had even decided to embrace the contradictions and violence it contained. That was Kellewen.

So at first, Herma did not believe that Kellewen and Dandeleon had a special relationship. The Kellewen he knew was an Elf who restrained even his own desires in order to eliminate his attachment to life. For such a person to have feelings for an individual felt like an absurd thing.

The prince named Dandeleon was sickly and had a precarious position in the royal palace, so he must have been treating him well out of mere pity. That was all he thought. Even if they had had a physical relationship, he did not think any personal feelings would have been involved. If he had asked him to hold him just once before he died, well, with Kellen’s personality, he was more than capable of doing that.

Quite nonchalantly, that is what Herma had thought. He believed that whatever Kellewen did, his beliefs alone would not change.

Until he arrived in Benoit and spoke with Kellewen directly, he had continued to believe that.

“Herma? Why are you out here?”

It seemed Kellewen had just returned. Herma waved at Kellewen, who was entering his room.

“You’re back. How was the tea party?”

“I had a meaningful conversation with good people.”

Kellewen gave a terribly uninteresting and exemplary answer. Herma let out a scoff.

Kellewen had just returned from a tea party hosted by the crown prince of Benoit. Originally, Herma was supposed to go, but Kellewen had volunteered to go himself. It was a gesture of consideration, telling him to rest since he must be tired from the long journey.