To You, Who Will Die Alone in Paradise Chapter 41

So don’t expect anything, and if I meet Herma, I should prepare an excuse. Agreeing to a meeting like this doesn’t prove that I still have lingering feelings for Kellewen. I can just say I thought something terrible had happened. Dandeleon was engrossed in such thoughts the entire time he walked.

However, standing by the small fountain he finally arrived at was, unmistakably, Kellewen. The moment he recognized the profile of the man looking up at the night sky, his long black hair hanging down, a joyous voice burst from Dandeleon’s lips.

“Kellen…!”

Kellewen turned to look at Dandeleon. Dandeleon ran to him and threw his arms around him in a tight hug. As Kellewen’s arms wrapped around him, warmth spread through his frozen body.

“Leon.”

Kellewen’s voice was a little thick as he said his name. Kellewen tightened his arms around Dandeleon and buried his face in the crook of his neck. Tears welled up in Dandeleon’s eyes. The two of them held each other like that for a while, not exchanging a single word.

“What’s going on? Calling me out like this all of a sudden.”

After some time had passed, Dandeleon said in a whining tone as he looked up at Kellewen’s face.

“I was sleeping, you know.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you….”

Kellewen, who said this, looked unexpectedly unwell. It was too dark to see clearly, but Dandeleon could tell that his eyes, as they looked at him, were full of anxiety and worry.

“I called you because there’s something I wanted to tell you urgently. It’s just that I wanted to avoid prying eyes….”

“Ah.”

Dandeleon nodded, thinking of Herma. Not only was Herma a nuisance on his own, but how many Tuella Deum had he brought with him? The thought that they were all watching Kellewen was truly dizzying.

At the same time, the curiosity he’d felt when he first read the letter returned. What was the reason for calling him out in a situation like this?

“Leon.”

Kellewen said as he smoothed down Dandeleon’s hair, which had been ruffled by the wind. The end of his voice trembled slightly.

“When I return to the Elven Forest, you will be able to come with me.”

It was completely different from anything he had imagined. Dandeleon was so flustered he could only blink, unable to reply. He couldn’t understand for what reason he, a human, would be going to the Elven Forest.

It was strange that, even so, his heart was pounding. A certain hope sprouted in Dandeleon’s heart. It was the expectation that Kellewen might have changed his mind.

Perhaps he had decided to live once more. Or maybe he had truly found a way to survive even after offering his magic. So if he was proposing to him like last time, then I would….

Unable to overcome the trembling, Dandeleon abruptly grabbed Kellewen’s hand. But Kellewen avoided Dandeleon’s gaze and said something very strange.

“Even after the ritual… is over, Herma will take care of you.”

Dandeleon’s thoughts, which had been branching out in all directions, came to a sudden halt. Everything suddenly became a confusing, tangled mess.

The ritual?

He was talking about the ritual of offering a High Elf’s magic to Yggdrasil.

After the ritual is over?

Kellewen will die.

Herma?

The leader of the elders who pretended to be Kellewen’s friend.

Will take care of me?

Why on earth?

“…Explain it to me.”

Dandeleon said with difficulty. In contrast, Kellewen’s voice, which had been so clearly melancholic, grew calmer and calmer.

“Herma made a promise to me. That even if I die, he will be sure to take care of you. It doesn’t mean you have to live in the Elven Forest. For now, you will leave this place and stay in the Elven Forest, and in the meantime, Herma will find you a place to live. Somewhere you want as much as possible….”

“Wait, wait, wait!”

Dandeleon shouted. He knew he had to be quiet, but with every word Kellewen spoke, his voice grew louder on its own, a mixture of bewilderment and anger.

Kellewen’s ‘explanation’ explained nothing at all. With every word he added, everything seemed to get worse. Dandeleon took a step or two back and stared at Kellewen as if he were a stranger.

“From now on, I’ll ask the questions, so just answer what I ask.”

At Dandeleon’s words, Kellewen silently nodded. Dandeleon clutched his throbbing head and thought for a long moment before throwing out his first question.

“What on earth did you talk about with Herma? You heard that he met with me this morning, right?”

“I did. Herma said that after talking with you….”

Kellewen squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again. His wavering gaze became calm again, but that was only on the surface. The turmoil churning beneath his green eyes was plain for Dandeleon to see.

“He said he took a liking to you. He said he wanted to help, even knowing that you and I are close.”

Dandeleon let out a cold laugh.

“You believe that?”

“I have known him for a long time. He is sincere. I can tell that much.”

Dandeleon’s chest felt tight. If he could, he wanted to grab Kellewen by the collar and scream at him to stop being so naive.

It was probably true that they had known each other for a long time. But he was clearly on close terms with the elf elders, and his personality was also tenacious and sinister. Kellewen could see through the lies of a sly old fox of an elf like that? As much as Dandeleon liked Kellewen, he couldn’t trust those words.

But there was no point in questioning something like this. Without clear evidence, arguing would only hurt both their feelings. Dandeleon set the issue of Herma aside for the moment and focused on something else. It was a more fundamental problem that perhaps should have been addressed even before Herma.

“Fine, let’s say he helps me. But the method is strange, isn’t it? Why of all things do I have to go to the Elven Forest?”

“That was my request.”

“Yours? Why?”

“You know why.”

Kellewen closed the distance Dandeleon had made between them. He grabbed Dandeleon’s shoulders and whispered earnestly.

“How can I leave you here, knowing how you are treated?”

Dandeleon’s face flushed hot. The memory of the day he had disgraced himself in front of Kellewen came back as clearly as if it were yesterday.

When Kellewen appeared in front of Pierre, who was hitting him, Dandeleon hadn’t been happy. He had wished he would just disappear on the spot. The feeling of having a shameful secret he wanted to hide laid bare for all to see was indescribable.

And now, Dandeleon felt something similar to how he had felt then. The fact that he had earned Kellewen’s pity, that he had remained only a being to be saved until the very end, was horrifying.

“I’ll take care of my own business.”

Dandeleon said, gritting his teeth.

“I have no intention of going to the Elven Forest. To go there and….”

It took time to string words together when he was this furious. Dandeleon took several gasping breaths before he managed to finish his sentence.

“You want me to watch you die with my own eyes?”

Kellewen would perform the ritual as soon as he returned to the Elven Forest. Knowing that fact, and without even trying to avoid that fate, trying to take him there was less a kindness and more akin to torture. Seeing Dandeleon’s expression, Kellewen flinched and said.

“That… that wasn’t what I meant. I just want to rescue you from this place. I know you’re worried about His Majesty the King, but it can be handled without any diplomatic issues. Under the pretext of cultural exchange would be enough….”

“That’s not the problem right now!”

He understood the intention behind the plan. But the fact that all of this had been decided without a single word of discussion with Dandeleon, and yet it was all settled with Herma, was just plain unpleasant.

“Why did you decide all of this without asking me anything?”

But to this question, Kellewen reacted unexpectedly emotionally. He shot back at Dandeleon with a resentful expression.

“Because it was obvious you wouldn’t answer even if I asked.”

“What? Of course I’d answer if you asked, what kind of foolish thing are you saying?”

“No, you would have avoided the question. Just like you hid the fact that you were going to die soon!”

Dandeleon’s heart plummeted. With a miserable expression, Kellewen watched as Dandeleon’s face turned deathly white, as he froze, unable to say a word. The atmosphere froze in an instant. In the space where their voices toward each other had vanished, only the sound of insects was quiet.

“…Who did you hear that from?”

Dandeleon asked in a trembling voice. Kellewen’s face crumpled.

Seeing his face, which looked like it would burst into tears at any moment, Dandeleon realized. Kellewen had been hoping for his denial. For him to say it was ridiculous, that it was true he was frail but not to that extent….

But Dandeleon’s words were already spilled, and Kellewen’s heart had become as fragile as wet paper. With a voice as frail as if it would tear with the slightest pressure, he said.

“Isn’t it a fact that everyone knows except for me?”

That was a misunderstanding. The fact that Dandeleon was frail was a reasonably well-known story, but the fact that he didn’t have much time left was not widely known, except to a few people including the royal physician. The fact that such information had reached Kellewen’s ears made Dandeleon sense Herma’s influence.

Dandeleon opened his mouth to deny it, then closed it. Kellewen’s faith in Herma was so firm that he wasn’t confident he could shake it. And that fact irritated Dandeleon.

Besides, bringing this up would eventually lead to talking about Kellewen’s choice. Did he really need to say it? That because he couldn’t give up on the world, he hadn’t wanted to hold onto him using his own life as leverage?

Now that everything was over?

“I know my own faults too. There were many signs. I just didn’t notice them.”

Not noticing the fatigue rising within Dandeleon, Kellewen poured out his story as if it were for the best.

“You even said it once when you were drunk. Yes… why I dismissed that as just a joke, thinking about it now is so….”

“That’s enough. What’s the use of all that now?”

Dandeleon cut Kellewen off coldly. Kellewen looked at him with a pained expression, as if he’d been stabbed by a knife. Ignoring that gaze was not an easy thing for Dandeleon to do either. He clenched his fists so tightly that his fingernails dug into his palms.