To You, Who Will Die Alone in Paradise Chapter 55

Dandeleon lifted his glass and slowly took a sip, holding it in his mouth. The liquor melted smoothly in his mouth like chocolate. It was bitter and strong, but after swallowing, a fragrance lingered in his mouth. It was a beautiful yet desolate scent, like rain-soaked wood.

“I thought you were joking that day, but looking back, I think you were completely serious.”

“Even when I said I hated you?”

“You didn’t really like me at first, did you?”

Dandeleon let out a short laugh. With a drink, the atmosphere certainly seemed to loosen up a bit. He happily took another sip of the liquor and then said.

“Yes, I hated you. I’m going to die soon, and even a year is precious to me, but you were doing the crazy act of throwing away that precious lifespan on a tree….”

Dandeleon tilted his head, searching for the right word. It was embarrassing to say it directly to the person involved, but the alcohol loosened him up. Dandeleon said.

“I was jealous.”

After saying it, he felt rather refreshed. It was the first time he had spoken so honestly to Kellewen. He had told many lies, and it was common for him to feign ignorance and talk about something else when his true feelings were revealed.

But now that he had confessed his feelings, it wasn’t so bad. In his imagination, it had been a little more embarrassing and a lot more miserable, but reality was different.

“But once I got to know you, I saw that you had your own struggles, and it seemed like you were just being pitifully used….”

Dandeleon glanced at Kellewen. He wondered if he had misspoken, but Kellewen was listening to him without any sign of displeasure. Since he was being honest anyway, Dandeleon decided to push a little further and continued without hesitation.

“…I hated the elves who raised you to die. And the other people who love you because you are going to die.”

He expected an answer, but nothing came back except a bitter smile. Wanting to hear Kellewen’s inner thoughts, Dandeleon asked him directly.

“The elders must have been shocked, right? They probably never imagined you would rebel so severely.”

“They probably were.”

Kellewen answered slowly.

“I would like them to understand, but if they can’t, there’s nothing I can do.”

He let out a deep sigh and tilted his glass again. It was empty in just two sips.

“In any case, I’m not refusing my duty, just postponing it for a while… so they will have no choice but to accept it.”

Dandeleon swirled his glass with an uncomfortable expression and then said.

“So you do intend to perform the ritual? Then what about the lighthouse? The promise you made to His Highness the Crown Prince to build a lighthouse, are you going to keep it?”

“No.”

“……”

Fortunately, there was no liquor in his mouth this time either. Dandeleon burst out laughing.

“It was a lie?”

“Yes, from the very beginning.”

“You’ve changed a lot, Kellewen.”

“It’s thanks to you.”

Kellewen smiled and put down his glass. He clasped his hands together and pondered for a moment before speaking with a serious expression.

“Leon, I’m sorry for confining you within the royal palace.”

Dandeleon was surprised. He had been feeling uncomfortable ever since their return, but he hadn’t expected to receive an apology for this matter. As was his habit, he had been resigning himself to it, thinking it couldn’t be helped.

“I wanted to leave with you too. If it had been possible, I would have. Would you believe me if I said… I’ve already tried leaving with you before?”

Kellewen said, casting his eyes down. He looked so lonely that Dandeleon couldn’t bring himself to say it was nonsense.

“What happened when you left?”

“You died.”

Kellewen’s voice trembled.

Had he had a nightmare too? Thinking that, he could understand. Dandeleon, too, had been suffering lately from strangely vivid nightmares.

Besides, a part of him thought that was a realistic outcome.

Hadn’t Dandeleon himself reacted to Zellos’s suggestion to leave by saying it was absurd? A life of wandering without a destination, dragging a frail body along, might seem romantic on the surface, but experiencing it in reality would be different.

“…I suppose that’s what would have happened.”

Dandeleon muttered. Perhaps out of relief, Kellewen’s expression was much brighter when he lifted his head.

“But you won’t be here forever. I plan to negotiate with the Elf Forest at the right time. To ask them to create a place for just the two of us to live, somewhere other than Benoit.”

“What about the Crown Prince?”

“If the Elf Forest protests strongly, there will be a limit to how much His Highness can hold out. Other countries wary of Benoit monopolizing the lighthouse will also lend their support to the Elf Forest. Above all, His Majesty the King’s opinion differs from that of the Crown Prince. He will have no choice but to accept.”

Kellewen’s explanation was surprisingly realistic. It was underpinned by such meticulous political calculations that even Herma would be at a loss for words. This aspect was also a facet he found it hard to see in the Kellewen he knew. Dandeleon said, dumbfounded.

“You seem to have… thought about it a lot….”

“I had a lot of time.”

Kellewen replied lightly and changed the subject.

“If the negotiations go well, we can leave here and live somewhere else. Where would be good?”

“The sea.”

The words popped out before he could even think. Seeing Kellewen flinch, Dandeleon belatedly realized he had said something ridiculous.

“Roalante is too close to the capital. It would be better to stay somewhere other than Benoit if possible, but other seas are dangerous….”

“Ah, no. I was just talking.”

Dandeleon waved his hand.

“It keeps appearing in my dreams lately… I guess that’s why I thought of it.”

“A dream?”

“I have a dream where someone is shouting at me to come to the sea. My mother… no.”

Dandeleon said, retracing his memory.

“She looked similar to my mother… but she was a different person. It’s strange, isn’t it, for someone I don’t know at all to appear in my dream?”

Dandeleon smiled and stood up. He then went and sat next to Kellewen. The spacious chair was generous enough for two people with room to spare. Dandeleon idly pressed the soft cushion with his hand and said.

“Anywhere is fine. As long as it’s not here.”

Dandeleon said. Kellewen gently wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Dandeleon rested his head on him with a thud.

“How long do I have to wait?”

“…I think it will take at least half a year, and at most, a year.”

“That’s not so bad.”

He had originally lived with the thought that it wouldn’t be strange to die tomorrow, but today he felt a little different. He had no basis for it, but he felt he could hold on until then. Perhaps because his health was better than usual, today’s Dandeleon was quite optimistic.

“Kellewen.”

“Yes.”

Dandeleon looked up at Kellewen and said.

“Kiss me.”

Kellewen took a sharp breath. A glimpse of desire was visible in his eyes, but for some reason, Kellewen hesitated instead of moving right away. Dandeleon didn’t rush him and waited quietly.

After a moment, Kellewen slowly approached Dandeleon. His lips lightly pressed against Dandeleon’s and then pulled away. Just as he thought that was the end of it, Kellewen moved closer again.

“……!”

The second kiss was urgent and rough. His tongue pushed through parted lips and licked the inside. Dandeleon’s body couldn’t withstand the intense movement and swayed. Kellewen tightened his arms to embrace him and continued to explore Dandeleon’s mouth. Every time he bit his tongue, every time his tongue pressed inside his mouth, Dandeleon’s body flinched.

After a long while, Kellewen raised his head, gasping for breath. His cheeks were flushed with excitement, and his neat hair was slightly disheveled. Dandeleon was the same. He wiped his tingling lips with his hand and grinned.

“Do you want to?”

Dandeleon said. Kellewen shook his head with a confused expression.

“No, I… that wasn’t my intention….”

But that voice faded away helplessly the moment Dandeleon touched him down there. Dandeleon deliberately pressed down hard on the stiff object his hand touched.

Kellewen’s jaw tensed. It sounded like he gritted his teeth with a grinding sound.

The next moment, Dandeleon was thrown onto the chair. Kellewen climbed on top of him and showered kisses on his face and neck. The lips that had been pressing down hard soon bit and sucked at his skin, finally sinking their teeth in. The moment Kellewen bit his collarbone, Dandeleon’s body jolted in surprise.

“Ah…!”

“I’m sorry, are you alright?”

As soon as he heard the pained voice, Kellewen stopped moving. But Dandeleon shook his head.

“Keep going.”

It felt completely different from before. Kellewen was pushing so roughly that he was disoriented, and that’s why he liked it. Unlike when he was leading, stimuli poured in continuously without him having a chance to do anything. Dandeleon wrapped his arms around Kellewen’s neck and said in a pleading tone.

“Quickly… quickly.”

Kellewen bared his teeth again, this time biting down hard on the right side of his neck. His body flinched at the sharp pain, but the pain soon turned into pleasure. The throbbing where his teeth had touched was thrillingly stimulating.

“Ugh, Kellewen… it feels good….”

The more Dandeleon reacted, the more uninhibited Kellewen became. He fumbled a few times while trying to unbutton Dandeleon’s shirt, then just grabbed the fabric and ripped it open. The buttons fell to the floor and rolled under the table. Kellewen unhesitatingly pressed down on Dandeleon’s exposed white chest.

“Hah, ugh…! Hhngh!”

Kellewen’s finger pressed down hard on Dandeleon’s nipple. That alone was so stimulating that his vision went white, but Kellewen ended up biting his chest. Tears welled up in his eyes as the tender skin hurt.