To You, Who Will Die Alone in Paradise Chapter 64

“Thank goodness….”

“Kellen, what on earth….”

Dandeleon stopped mid-sentence and quickly came to his senses.

“Kellen, Tuella Deum is here.”

“Yes, I know. Did she come too?”

“Herma was… what did you say?”

Dandeleon, who was about to say that Herma had attacked him, was taken aback by Kellewen’s reaction and asked.

“She? Who are you talking about?”

“It seems you haven’t met her yet.”

Kellewen lifted his head. Following his gaze, the spheres of white light shot upwards, only to be blocked by the ceiling shortly after.

Kellewen silently listened to the sounds from outside. His expression was so serious that Dandeleon couldn’t question him further and ended up listening along with him.

Unlike before when screams were rampant, the sounds now could hardly be considered human. The sound of something exploding and the sound of something heavy crashing and shattering were heard intermittently.

“Aaaargh!”

And in between, screams that could only be described as horrific were mixed in.

“Kellen…?”

“It’s alright, Leon. It’s alright.”

Kellewen whispered as he patted Dandeleon. Not understanding what was going on, Dandeleon looked up at Kellewen’s profile. Bathed in the white light, Kellewen’s eyes sparkled. He was filled with anticipation and hope. Like a believer awaiting the descent of a god, Kellewen looked up at the sky, hidden by the stone wall, and waited.

And finally, silence fell.

“…….”

Dandeleon anxiously gripped Kellewen’s sleeve. Kellewen didn’t move right away and waited for a moment. After enough time had passed, he pressed the switch on the ceiling.

The sky opened, and starlight poured in.

“……!”

And the smell of blood rushed in.

Dandeleon climbed up with Kellewen’s help. The barren field, which had been nothing but overgrown weeds just a moment ago, now had something scattered all over it.

The closest thing was a hand.

Rolling behind it was a head with its eyes wide open.

Next to it were two torsos, one on top of the other.

And scattered haphazardly in between was blood, blood, blood.

“Are you Dandeleon?”

And the woman standing in the middle of it all asked Dandeleon.

Dandeleon held his breath. He forgot the smell of blood vibrating all around, and the corpses scattered here and there. As if time had stopped, everything disappeared, and only the woman standing before his eyes was clear.

The voice of the woman, covered in blood, was familiar. Her face was as well. Although it had been in a dream, he had heard that desperate voice calling his mother’s name several times. Her tall stature, her sharp eyes, her mouth that somehow reminded him of his mother, and the hand that had reached out to him.

All of it was right before his eyes.

The woman who resembled his mother wiped the blood from her face and looked at Dandeleon. Her violet eyes scanned Dandeleon’s face, then distorted with emotion, and then regained their composure.

“Who….”

Dandeleon forced open his unwilling lips and asked.

“Who are you…?”

“Your mother’s sister.”

The unknown woman uttered an absurd statement in a nonchalant tone.

Dandeleon’s mind went blank. As he staggered, Kellewen supported him and asked the woman.

“Were you uninjured this time?”

“Didn’t I say I was careless that time? Not a single scratch on my scales, I’m perfectly fine.”

“That’s a relief.”

Kellewen seemed to know her well. Among the words they exchanged, the phrase ‘this time’ caught Dandeleon’s ear.

Dandeleon thought.

He knew the arrow was coming. He also knew that its owner was Herma, and that he would kill him.

Herma tortured him until he was sick of it, then killed him. That wasn’t even the first death.

The first death was too long ago. A dark night, a deserted garden in the royal palace. The reason his vision had turned red, thinking back on it now, must have been because the blood flowing from his forehead had covered his eyes.

Even after that, he died, and died, and continued to die again and again….

There was one more person who remembered it all.

“…Kellen.”

Dandeleon squeezed out a voice that wouldn’t come. The hand gripping Kellewen’s chest trembled weakly.

“How many… times did you turn back time?”

Kellewen looked at him with a surprised expression. But it was only for a moment. In the time it took to blink once, Kellewen’s face was covered in sadness, and with another blink, even that sadness was all gone.

What finally remained on his face was a deep exhaustion. Kellewen raised the corners of his mouth and plastered a smile over it.

“You remember?”

He asked Dandeleon.

The first time Kellewen turned back time was a very long time ago. Kellewen couldn’t say exactly how long ago it was. Too many things had happened in the meantime, and he had long given up on counting the days.

However, there was one thing he remembered clearly.

That he had fought with Dandeleon on the night of the first death.

That day, Kellewen had made a proposal to Dandeleon. To go to the Elven Forest together, that Herma would take care of him even after the ritual. He knew now that those were absurdly selfish words, but at the time, he had spoken them with desperate sincerity.

Naturally, Dandeleon got angry.

“I’m never going to the Elven Forest. So go and die alone. Everyone but me will bless your death anyway.”

He knew he didn’t mean those words. He knew enough to understand that Dandeleon had said them to hurt him, but even knowing that fact, Kellewen’s heart was wounded. So he didn’t hold Dandeleon back. Instead, he clutched his aching heart and returned to his room.

And the next day, in the afternoon, news like a bolt from the blue was delivered.

That Dandeleon had been found as a corpse.

• Continued in the next chapter

Chapter 41

The place of discovery was a garden not far from where he had his secret meetings with him. It seemed he had fallen and hit his head while running on the stone path, as a large pool of dark red blood had collected on the ground near his forehead.

At a glance, it was an ordinary accident. However, a few people had doubts because the prince’s servant, Zellos, had disappeared. A rumor spread throughout the royal palace that Zellos had killed the prince and fled.

Kellewen heard that rumor as well. But at that time, he was not in a state to be angry at Zellos. It was already too much for him to accept the reality of Dandeleon’s death.

Dandeleon was dead. Right after he had met with him, only a few minutes’ distance away.

The despair that fact brought was horrific.

“It’s not your fault, Kellen.”

Herma said, comforting Kellewen.

“It was an unfortunate accident. That’s all.”

But Kellewen thought differently.

If only Kellewen hadn’t called Dandeleon out that day, he wouldn’t have died. Even if he had called him, maybe he would have been safe if he hadn’t called him at such a late hour. Who would have known that his actions to avoid others’ eyes would lead to Dandeleon’s death? No, if only he had taken him home after the meeting ended, this could have been easily avoided. No matter how harsh Dandeleon’s words had been, he shouldn’t have let him go alone. He shouldn’t have done that one thing….

The regrets continued without end. Kellewen locked himself in his room and agonized over and over again about what he could have done to save Dandeleon.

Countless thoughts rose and disappeared. With every thought that arose, he felt suffocated, and with every thought that disappeared, it felt as if his soul was shattering and vanishing.

There were countless, innumerable ways. So why, why couldn’t he choose even one of these many ways, and ended up with this result?

Despair consumed Kellewen. Sadness crushed him, and anger at himself bound him, dragging him into deeper despair.

He neither ate nor drank and just kept thinking about Dandeleon.

About Dandeleon’s death, about the fact that he no longer existed, and about this world that continued to exist even though he did not.

By the time Tuella Deum left Benoit for the Elven Forest, Kellewen had completely lost his mind.

He spoke to no one and did nothing. All he did was lie down with his eyes closed, occasionally shedding tears.

Because he didn’t even make an effort to keep himself alive, the elves of Tuella Deum took turns feeding Kellewen food and water. Most of it couldn’t even go down his throat and flowed out of his mouth.

Herma dragged Kellewen in that state all the way to the Elven Forest. As if he had prepared in advance, the ritual began in a hurry as soon as Kellewen arrived. When he came to his senses, Kellewen was kneeling before Yggdrasil.

“Place your hand on the guardian tree.”

An elder told Kellewen. Kellewen remained still. Another elf who was nearby lifted Kellewen’s hand and forcefully pressed it against the guardian tree.

In that moment, all of Kellewen’s senses vanished into white.

It was a truly strange feeling. Kellewen’s mind struggled to break free from the confines of his body. Like a moth drawn to a flame, he wanted to rush toward him. He heard a voice. From a very close place.

My child.