Surviving as a Crazy Evil Spirit in a Horror Game Chapter 69

A sense of relief washed over me at the cozy and warm sensation. 

 

“You are alive.”

 

Being able to hug Basileon meant that I was not an evil spirit right now. Without my realizing it, the humanization process seemed to have progressed before I knew it. Basileon hugged me even tighter. I couldn’t know what he was thinking, but what was certain was the fact that he was trembling minutely.

 

“Every time you smile, my world brightens up a little too. Just the fact that you exist will be enough for me to endure somehow. Because your existence keeps me going.” 

 

“….”

 

They were words I absolutely couldn’t comprehend. I buried my face in his chest and shook my head. Even knowing I was like a whining child, I couldn’t stop.

 

“You don’t believe me.” 

 

“I am not a great enough existence to hear such words.”

 

Basileon gently caressed my cheek. And he softly cupped my chin, lifting it to make eye contact with me. Unlike his usual self, he was exposing both eyes and his forehead.

 

“Your, eye…” 

 

“Why are you putting yourself down?” 

 

“I’m not putting myself down. It’s not that, it’s because I shouldn’t be happy…” 

 

“Look at me. They are all completely gone. The person standing in front of your eyes right now is me.”

 

Basileon took my hand and slowly guided it to his own face. And he softly leaned his face against my palm, as if asking to be caressed.

 

“I cherish you.” 

 

“…Mhm.” 

 

“What about you?”

 

Basileon craved my affection.

 

“I cherish you too.” 

 

“Can’t you cherish yourself for my sake?”

 

However, I couldn’t readily answer that I would do so.

 

“Those words must have become scars and gnawed at you. Without you noticing, they might have pushed you into a deep darkness. However…”

 

I still stared helplessly into the air. As if conscious of that, Basileon quietly grabbed both my hands and lifted them.

 

“Everything those things said is wrong. Because your existence is the reason I breathe, and the reason I live.” 

 

Perhaps burning with anxiety because of me still unable to focus, Basileon held my hands and spoke earnestly.

 

“Focus on me. I wish you would caress my face, my hair….” 

 

Even then, when I didn’t readily move my hands, tears welled up and sprang from his eyes.

 

“…Wh-why are you crying?”

 

Is it because I’m not acting as he wishes? Or because he pities me? Whatever it was, Basileon’s tears always hurt my heart. In the end, unable to resist his tears, I quietly reached out my hand as he wished. I wiped his tears and quietly stroked his head. And I softly caressed his cheek. Nevertheless, perhaps not satisfied, Basileon softly rubbed his face against my hand. Just like a large dog seeking its owner’s love. Seeing the falling teardrops made my heart ache numbly. It was amazing that there was someone crying this much for me.

 

“I’m sorry. I was thinking about something else.” 

 

“And thoughts of me?” 

 

“…Mhm. I’m thinking about you now.”

 

The distance closed. A subtle emotion flitted across his expression. Then, Basileon’s gaze traveled down past my eyes and I saw him sweeping over my lips. When I noticed that and stared with my eyes wide open, he withdrew his gaze in fluster. That reaction was quite amusing, so I moved my face and followed his gaze. Basileon unnecessarily avoided my eyes, staring at the ground, and took a step back. Giggling, I stepped closer in front of him again. 

 

“Don’t come closer.” 

 

“Just a moment ago you were asking me to caress you.” 

 

“That is true, but right now…” 

 

“Right now?”

 

Perhaps unable to find a suitable excuse, Basileon just parted and closed his lips for no reason.

 

“Why can’t you speak?” 

 

“For a moment I couldn’t trust myself. I just judged that I needed to stay away to build self-control.” 

 

“Why build self-control? Were you trying to kiss me or something?” 

 

“….”

 

As if I had hit the nail on the head, Basileon froze in place and blushed.

 

“I suspected as much, but what’s the big deal about that? It’s just lips touching for a moment and parting.”

 

When I said that and took big strides forward, Basileon flinched in surprise and backed away again.

 

“I said we can just do it, where are you going?”

 

When I kept following him, Basileon hurriedly ran away.

 

“I asked where you are going!” 

 

In the end, I chased Basileon all the way out of the Mansion of the Abyss. While chasing Basileon, I wondered if he was severely inexperienced. But looking back, I also wondered if I had acted too unromantically. In a way, it was going to be the first kiss for both Basileon and me, but charging in saying ‘We can just do it!’ was a bit weird too. Because it might have ended as a truly unromantic, simple lip-smack.

 

“It was a joke! Stop!”

 

I ran after Basileon, panting. For whatever reason, even though quite some time had passed, the humanization didn’t wear off. Basileon checked to see if I was approaching recklessly, then stopped in his tracks.

 

“I like that I’m in this state for a long time today.”

 

Without hesitation, I hugged Basileon tightly.

 

“This is okay, right?”

 

Then Basileon awkwardly held his hands up before softly hugging me back.

 

“Earlier… I was so scared I didn’t really know. Whether you had come, or if you were hugging me. I was so confused and scared I didn’t know what was what.”

 

Perhaps bothered by me saying I was scared, he tightened his arms without a word.

 

“Thank you.”

 

When I sniffled while being held in his arms, Basileon squirmed. He really was like a giant dog.

 

“How did you know I was here and came?” 

 

“…I was trapped in an illusion created by It for a long time.”

 

I looked at Basileon in surprise.

 

“D-Didn’t you say you were free from the brainwashing now?” 

 

“Not completely. It took advantage of a gap when my mental strength weakened and trapped me in an illusion.”

 

As I looked at him worriedly, Basileon flashed a faint smile as if to reassure me. 

 

“Eve, don’t worry. I have gained the strength to overcome the illusion. It probably won’t be able to trap me in that way again.”

 

Recalling what happened earlier, Basileon still looked at me with moist eyes.

 

“…Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

Basileon softly stroked my cheek with his thumb.

 

“I’ll make sure memories of the past don’t come to mind, Eve.”

 

I didn’t quite understand. It’s not like he controls my thoughts, so how is he going to do that…

 

“By making me come to mind first before such thoughts arise.” 

 

“But, you know, thoughts don’t just happen the way you want them to.” 

 

“No. I will make it so.” 

 

“….”

 

While I liked those words, an overwhelming and piercing emotion surged from deep within my heart. The desire to push him away came before good feelings. Tangled with feelings of self-hatred, it was hard to accept him.

 

“…What am I that you go this far for me.” 

 

“I saw your past. No, I unavoidably ended up seeing it.” 

 

“…!”

 

I hadn’t been able to think deeply earlier because I was out of it, but thinking about it now, the one who destroyed the black silhouettes was Basileon. Back then, I only wished someone would save me. But now, having my shameful secret exposed only made my face burn. Feelings of shame washed over me.

 

“I… never asked you to pity me.”

 

I shouldn’t say this to the person who saved me… At that moment, I was only buried in feelings of shame.

 

“I did not pity you.” 

 

“Can’t you just pretend not to know and let it slide? Even if you didn’t have such an intention, I…” 

 

“Okay. If that’s what you want. But know that it really wasn’t pity or anything like that.”