The tyrant Wants To Live Honestly Chapter 16

 

“Did you enjoy today?”

 

“No. I’m so tired I feel like I’m going to die.”

 

After the noble ladies left, I collapsed onto the sofa.

 

How could they get so excited talking when it was just me sitting there?

 

Sometimes I felt like a grain of wheat scattered in front of pigeons, or a chunk of meat thrown into a pack of wolves.

 

Everyone surrounded me, pecking and nibbling at every corner of me.

 

It was a moment that made me realize once again just how much patience it takes to live kindly.

 

If this had been the old me, I would have shouted at those ladies long ago—said at least one thing, no, ten things to them.

 

*‘You held it in well, Dorothea.’*

 

“I was so happy to see how loved you are, Your Highness.”

 

At Clara’s words, one of my eyebrows shot up.

 

*‘Loved? Me?’*

 

That awkward, exhausting, unbearable scene of praise was supposed to be a scene of love?

 

“Everyone liked you so much they didn’t know what to do.”

 

Clara said the reason they made such a fuss was because they liked me.

 

They wanted to take care of me just a little more, think of one more thing for me, say one more word to me.

 

“They’re doing it to build connections because I’m a princess.”

 

“If they were only trying to build connections, they wouldn’t watch you chewing a mushroom so carefully with such loving eyes. They wouldn’t keep slapping their knees because you’re so adorable either. Their gaze was different, you know?”

 

Ugh. I really hated those looks.

 

In my previous life, I had never been treated like that.

 

Ethan often said ticklish, sweet things, but I filtered out his hypocrisy.

 

I was used to cynical eyes, blunt words, cold attitudes, individualism filled with indifference, conflict and competition.

 

And in the end, I thought that was right.

 

You had to be strong to survive.

 

Only with cold charisma would people acknowledge you and not look down on you.

 

Praise pouring down and people looking at you with those ticklish eyes felt so sweet it almost hurt.

 

“All of that comes from affection for you, Your Highness.”

 

Clara could understand why Dorothea had captured the ladies’ hearts.

 

First of all, her appearance was just too pretty—like a cute doll!

 

On top of that, she spoke clearly and confidently, and sometimes she said things like a little old lady that didn’t match her age, which made people laugh.

 

It wasn’t strange at all that the noble ladies were acting like “princess moms.”

 

“Affection, you say…”

 

The way they cooed through their noses and made such a big fuss with wide smiles felt like an overly decorated room—dizzying and cluttered.

 

Light, frivolous, irritating.

 

“I’ve never acted like that toward someone I love.”

 

I had never spoken in such a sweet, coquettish voice to **Theon**.

 

Of course, I had wanted his touch countless times, but I had never forced it on him.

 

In love, I was completely the weaker one.

 

I was afraid he would hate me if I did that.

 

Whenever I reached out to hold his hand, he hid his first.

 

Later, he even started wearing gloves, as if he didn’t want our hands touching at all.

 

To win his favor, I gave countless gifts and praised him, suffering alone.

 

That was the only way I knew how to court someone.

 

If I imagined it, it was hard to picture Theon putting food on my plate.

 

Us smiling together, teasing each other sweetly, laughing over small things…

 

*‘Strange.’*

 

The version of me in that imagination didn’t feel like the real me.

 

But if this kind of sweetness was the true way good people loved…

 

“…That’s a problem.”

 

I thought about it seriously.

 

Both giving love and receiving it didn’t seem to suit me very well.

 

A thought crossed my mind.

 

Maybe someone like me, who didn’t even know how to love properly……wasn’t capable of living kindly in the first place.

 

* * *

 

“Welcome, Princess.”

 

“Long time no see, Duke Bronte.”

 

I saw the Bronte family coming to meet me. It was the Duke of Bronte and his wife, and his servants

 

They even arranged a meal for me.

 

The large table was full of food that seemed to have been prepared in several days.

 

Onion macaroni topped with cream and cheese, sirloin steak topped with assorted spices, crispy browned turkey, rose rolled salmon topped with chickpeas, non-alcoholic apple flavored sparkling wine, hazelnut and lemon Yogurt musley, rice pudding…

 

It was too much for Bronte and I to eat, but Ethan wasn’t there either.

 

I pretended not to know anything and sat down without mentioning him.

 

The meal began and conversations with the Duke and the Duchess were made on various topics, but Ethan was not mentioned anywhere.

 

“By the way, I heard that you have a son…”

 

Even though I knew everything already, the way his existence seemed erased annoyed me, so I brought it up first.

 

“Do you know our Jonathan?”

 

The Duke smiled broadly.

 

Oh right. he was there too.

 

Jonathan Bronte was the eldest son of the Duchess.

 

And he was also the man who got hit in the head when I threw stones because I was annoyed with the episteme.

 

But other than that, his existence was hardly remembered. Because he died before I became emperor.

 

Did he die in an accident while hunting? Did they say he died riding a horse?

 

Anyway, he wasn’t that important to me. He wasn’t friendly, and he was closer to Ray than I was.

 

“Jonathan is currently attending Episteme and is living in the dormitory. Did the Crown Prince ever tell the princess about our Jonathan?

haha!”

 

The Duke of Bronte smiled proudly.

 

It seemed his shoulders lifted with pride at the thought that the crown prince and the princess knew his son.

 

“Oh, it’s not that, but I saw the son of the Bronte family a while ago. It’s Ethan Bronte…”

 

Since the duke never once mentioned Ethan’s name, I ended up saying it myself.

 

At that, the duke and duchess exchanged awkward glances.

 

I hated the way they looked so unsure.

 

“Is Ethan Brontë not here?”

 

When I asked again, the duke hurriedly answered.

 

“H-He is here. So you’ve met him before!”

 

“Yes, I happened to run into him while taking a walk along the beach. Is Young Master Ethan absent as well?”

 

The two of them smiled at my continued question. Their eyes glowed with triumphant light as if they had found something.

 

They must have mistakenly thought that I fell in love with Ethan at first sight.

 

Well, it’s not unreasonable to be mistaken as most young girls who see Ethan will react like that.

 

Whether you’re mistaken or not, it doesn’t really matter.

 

I ate milk pudding and waited for an answer.

 

“You are interested in our Ethan! Ethan was not feeling well today, so he was unable to eat, so he was absent. He has been disrespectful to the princess.”

 

Their attitude has changed quite favorably.

 

Because the princess was interested, they seemed to be calculating whether to continue the relationship somehow.

 

I don’t know what kind of misunderstanding I’m making, but I’m just going to use that misunderstanding.

 

“I thought he could be friends with me. May I meet him?”

 

“Then I will guide you after the meal. Perhaps Ethan will be happy to visit you.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

After dinner, Ethan’s nanny, who had been waiting in advance, took me to the garden.

 

Because the climate in the south was mild, the garden was in full bloom. A flower garden where the scent of lilies descends so deeply that it makes you dizzy.

 

The nanny led me down the long vine arch.

 

Stefan was tall, so he bent his shoulders and followed.

 

“Master Ethan, Princess Dorothea Milanaire is here.”

 

As they exited the arch, the nanny turned to the boy sitting at the outdoor table.

 

Then the boy who was sitting among the white lilies looked back.

 

Her silver hair fluttered and glistened in the sunlight. An aesthetically beautiful boy, as if gold dust was only scattered around him. Perfect beauty as if the god of beauty never left his side for even a single moment.

 

Ethan’s eyes widened as if surprised by the sudden visit.

 

‘Do you remember what happened at the beach last time?’

 

But he quickly got up from his seat and smiled. His beautiful golden eyes pierced my heart.

 

If I had never loved Theon, I would probably have fallen for Ethan just like the other noble ladies.

 

‘The short hair suits him really well.’

 

I thought his beauty would shine brighter by letting his long silver hair down, but it wasn’t.

 

Even the neat, gentleman-like short haircut suited him perfectly.

 

I cleared my throat for no reason and asked,

 

“Ethan Bronte, right?”

 

He looked surprised for a moment as if he didn’t expect his name to be called, then returned with a polite smile.

 

“Nice to meet you. It is an honor to meet Princess Dorothea.”

 

Ethan greeted me with a calm and polite voice.

 

“Me too, nice to meet you.”

 

“I am more happy that the princess is looking for me.”

 

Ethan smiled once more. It was a smile that perfectly matched the white lilies.

 

Then something fell on the floor next to me.

 

When I turned my head, I saw that the nanny had been grinning foolishly at Ethan and didn’t even realize that drool had slipped out of her mouth.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

 

After I turned around, the nanny came to her senses, wiped her lips and bowed her head.

 

Then Ethan looked at the nanny and smiled again. As if He wanted to kill once more.

 

As he intended, the nanny clenched her mouth with a pounding heart.

 

Ethan was young, but he knew he was handsome.

 

‘Yeah, this is the Ethan I knew.’

 

“Then call me if you need me.”

 

The nanny hurried away with a face that seemed to make a fuss at any moment.

 

“Stefan may step back for a moment. I’m going to play with Ethan.”

 

At my command, Stefan glanced at Ethan and nodded.

 

Everyone backed away and I approached him carefully.

 

Stefan was watching us from afar beyond the flower.

 

Ethan calmly guided me to the seat. It’s like someone who doesn’t remember what happened at the beach. Or like he doesn’t recognize me.

 

But there’s no way he couldn’t have recognized me. He was obviously surprised to see me. But now he was pretending not to know me.

 

‘It means you don’t want to talk about that day.’

 

* * *