It’s Sunny But I’m Depressed – Chapter 1

Author: B0ucha

Prologue: This original work was doomed from the start.

Ilena lay on her bed, murmuring with a heavy heart. Always bright like the sun, without a wrinkle, never crying even when lonely or sad.

‘Possessing a cheerful heroine like that with my depression was a mistake from the beginning.’

Even though she possessed a heroine who could control the weather at will, the problem was the ridiculous setting where the heroine’s emotions affected the weather in this novel.

“If you cry, it’ll rain even in this desert.”

‘Yeah. That’s why things ended up like this.’

As Ilena was lost in bitter thoughts and turned her head toward the voice, she saw a strikingly handsome man sitting on top of her. Well, having him on top wasn’t necessarily bad, but the problem was that he was genuinely dangerous.

He was the ruthless ruler of the desert and the dark figure in the original story.

“You won’t last long.”

The man said, his beautiful crimson eyes shining coldly.

‘Ah… it’s not something I can control…’

With depression, she couldn’t control her emotions at will. She had long forgotten how to cry.

‘What should I do now?’

Ilena, who was about to seriously ponder her future, gave up and collapsed onto the bed.

‘What can I do?’

Lying limp like seaweed on the bed, Ilena once again reminded herself of her newly adopted life motto since her possession.

‘Just… live casually…!’

Chapter 1: Possessed but Depressed (1)

Choi Inna had depression. For about two years, she had been taking a handful of pills morning and evening. People often think that those with depression are always lethargic and lack energy, but that’s not true.

As long as she took her medication on time, there were no problems in daily life. But why did she become depressed in the first place? Inna was what people called a ‘third-generation chaebol.’ She endured by taking medication to catch the eye of her grandfather, the chairman, in the fierce battle for succession.

She pretended to be strong, cheerful, and a natural leader, performing desperately in front of everyone. She had learned to hide her emotions with gritted teeth… and then this happened. As she lifted her eyelids, the first thing that struck her was the intense tropical sun.

“Ilena?”

Next was her sense of smell. A sweet and vibrant floral scent filled her nose. Palm trees she’d never seen in Seoul lined up, and large, vividly colored tropical flowers caught her eye. She was leisurely sitting in an exotic garden she had never visited before.

In the distance, a massive mountain loomed faintly.

“Hmm. Is this Jeju Island?”

Inna spoke calmly without panic.

“And that’s Hallasan?”

Though she had been sitting in her office just moments ago, it was the most rational deduction she could make at the moment.

“To stand before others, you must always remain calm. Never show your emotions. They will become your weakness!”

No matter the situation, she had to maintain composure. Hadn’t the chairman, no, her grandfather, repeated this endlessly?

“Jeju… you say? What Jeju? Ilena, did you doze off for a moment, huh?”

The foreigner in a maid’s outfit sitting next to her burst into laughter. Even at her family’s home, the live-in helpers didn’t wear such tasteless clothing.

‘It doesn’t seem like a kidnapping…’

She had been kidnapped once at the age of nine by thugs after her family’s money. This didn’t feel like that. Inna calmly considered a second possibility.

‘Is this another test from the chairman? To check the leadership of the successor?’

Yes. That seemed most likely.

“Hmm. Are you with the chairman…?”

As Inna steadied her mind to maintain composure and opened her mouth. Rumble—The sky, which had been glaringly sunny, suddenly filled with dark clouds.

‘Suddenly?’

Inna looked up at the sky. It was an enormous mass of dark clouds, as if a torrential downpour was imminent.

‘This seems like a tropical climate, so maybe it’s a squall? No. Why am I suddenly in the tropics anyway? Wait. Did that foreigner just call me ‘Ilena’?’

Inna urgently felt her body.

“I, Ilena?”

Soft sky-blue hair cascaded over a radiant silver silk dress.

‘Is human hair sky-blue?’

Inna hastily grabbed her sky-blue hair.

“Hey. Are my eyes… lemon-colored?”

“What? What do you mean… Ilena, why are you…”

The maid blinked in confusion at the strange behavior of asking someone else about her eye color.

“Is it true?”

Accustomed to handling people, Inna pressed firmly, and the maid, despite her confusion, quickly answered.

“Yes? Yes, yes. Of course. It’s a unique and beautiful lemon color.”

This hair and eye color. The name Ilena. And the weather that suddenly seemed like it was going to rain. Rumble—

“It looks like it’s going to rain. Ilena, please make it stop for a moment since we didn’t bring an umbrella.”

“…”

Even the maid’s request, as if it were the most natural thing. Despite her confusion, Inna made a quick and accurate judgment about her current state. It seemed she had possessed the novel <Happiness on Ilena’s Island>, and she was none other than the protagonist, ‘Ilena’!

Staring blankly at the gathering dark clouds, Inna suddenly shouted.

“Damn it! Damn it! No.”

Just swearing wasn’t enough to vent her frustration. Clenching her fist tightly, she shouted loudly.

“Damn it all!”

One day, while suffering from depression, she discovered the novel by chance on a bookshelf filled with economics and management books. Her hand reached for it as if drawn by an invisible force.

Because of the desperately needed word ‘happiness.’ And she was completely absorbed in reading it. The content of the novel was exactly like the title. It was literally the story of ‘Ilena living happily.’ The plot went roughly like this: The heroine, Ilena, loses her parents at a young age and grows up being mistreated in an orphanage.

However, there was something peculiar; whenever young Ilena was sad and depressed, it would suddenly rain, and when she was happy, the weather would be clear. Then one day, someone from the palace comes and tells her she is a priestess who can control the weather.

That was the end of the hardship, and from then on, it was a path of flowers. She enters the palace, receiving love and care from everyone, and at twelve, she gets engaged to the crown prince, the male lead. The only crisis was being kidnapped by the dark figure of the desert in the latter part of the work.

But even that was quickly resolved when the male lead heroically rescued her. After that, they got married, and the novel ended happily. A story with no hardships, just a path of flowers and refreshing moments. That’s why she liked it. Enough to read it several times.

Unlike her cold reality in the city, it was always full of happiness and love on ‘Happiness on Ilena’s Island.’ She thought she wanted to live on that island…

‘But why… why Ilena…’

Then, it started to rain. It was a fine drizzle, almost like a mist, making the dark clouds that covered the sky seem insignificant. Ilena looked at it with despair. Since she possessed a novel she liked, couldn’t she just walk down the flower path without worrying about survival or breaking the original plot?

The problem was her depression. Moreover, in this world, there wasn’t even a concept of depression. That meant there was no psychiatrist to help her, nor any medication for depression. The doctor said she had severe masked depression and anxiety disorder. Oh, and burnout syndrome too.

‘At every consultation, they told me to take a break and rest. Without medication, I wouldn’t last a day.’

“Oh my, it’s raining! Ilena, please stop the rain for a moment?”

“I can’t.”

“What?”

Inna, or rather Ilena, spoke with a sense of resignation.

“Damn it. I can’t!”

In the original world, she could pretend to be cheerful in front of others, even if she had to take medication or act. But not now. This damn weather would lay bare her emotional state. Recalling the countless hardships and training she went through to hide her emotions and manage people as part of her successor education, she realized all of it had become useless in an instant.

Ilena shouted loudly.

“I won’t! Damn it. I’m not living like that anymore!”