It’s Sunny But I’m Depressed Chapter 2

Chapter 2 : Possessed, Yet Depressed (2)

 

As soon as I was possessed, burnout hit me hard.

 

‘I just… want to give up.’

 

Forget about adapting; Ilena lay sprawled on the bed like a slime. Antidepressants typically require a gradual reduction over six months to a year, monitoring symptoms all the while. But stopping them abruptly, within days, brought on a terrifying lethargy.

 

In Korea, I lived by dividing my day into 20-minute intervals, sleeping only five hours a night. Now, I found myself constantly drowsy. Even after sleeping twelve hours a day, I felt sluggish and tired. My mind was blank, and I couldn’t think of anything.

 

‘Just a little rest.’

 

Perhaps I had always wanted this. With that thought, Ilena sat on the bed, shoulders drooping, and gazed out the window. The sky was blanketed with gray clouds, a light drizzle occasionally falling.

 

‘My heart has always been like this. Why did I struggle so hard?’

 

As the weather revealed the feelings I had long ignored and hidden, I couldn’t shake the bitterness.

 

“Ilena! I heard the news and came right away. Are you unwell?”

 

An old man, whose face seemed to scream ‘I’m a doctor,’ approached her.

 

“Strange. There’s nothing wrong physically…”

 

The old doctor, who was checking Ilena’s pulse, tilted his head in confusion.

 

‘Of course. It’s not a physical issue.’

 

Though I didn’t say it out loud, I muttered inwardly in resignation. Visitors who came to see me all cheered with hollow enthusiasm.

 

“Ilena, stay strong!”

 

“Cheer up and overcome this!”

 

‘Stay strong? Easy for them to say. How do you even do that?’

 

A protagonist in a novel should quickly accept being transported to a strange land and strive to survive, seek revenge, or save the unfamiliar world.

 

‘Right. So I should muster a bit more strength.’

 

A protagonist shouldn’t succumb to such a trivial ordeal. Surely, I have hidden strength and resolve befitting the main character of a world. Resolutely, Ilena gathered her strength and—With a grunt, she turned over in bed.

 

‘Phew. This is exhausting…’

 

Even that felt cumbersome and tiring. Though I briefly thought about how, as a priestess, I should care for the weather, the thought quickly faded. Why should I strive to save a world I’ve never seen before when I don’t even know the reason for my own life?

 

Ilena let her arm drop limply off the bed. Lying down felt the most comfortable. I didn’t want to think about anything. Without medication, my body was weak, and my mind was foggy.

 

‘I can’t… make any effort anymore.’

 

***

 

Thus, the priestess had been clinging to her bed like a tick for three months now.

 

“The sun hasn’t shone for three months. This is unprecedented since a priestess appeared in the Manora Kingdom ten years ago to stop the abnormal weather.”

 

A nobleman with a stylish white beard spoke with authority. In the grand hall where the king, crown prince, and nobles of the northern region gathered, a serious atmosphere prevailed.

 

“At this rate, crops will fail, and many will starve!”

 

“The tropical trees are rotting without sunlight.”

 

“The same goes for the fruits. They’re practically the staple food for the islanders, but they’re not ripening without the sun.”

 

The ministers all reported bad news. Their faces were marked with clear fear. The tropical climate of this Mai Island was a blessed land where crops and fruits thrived under the intense sun without much effort. However, about ten years ago, a sudden abnormal climate struck the island.

 

Fortunately, the Manora Kingdom in the north had a priestess who could control the weather, averting disaster. But other kingdoms were nearly devastated. The ministers feared that even the north might succumb to the abnormal climate.

 

“Hmm.”

 

The current king, sitting at the head of the table with his chin propped up, asked with a bored expression.

 

“What’s the priestess doing?”

 

His demeanor was unbecoming of a king. The sudden catastrophe that struck the island ten years ago had changed the once gentle and kind king.

 

“Well, the priestess has been acting strangely. She can’t control the weather and seems like a completely different person.”

 

A minister, wary of the king’s boredom, quickly reported. The king then turned to the man sitting next to him.

 

“Wasn’t the priestess’s ability unaffected by emotions? Crown prince, is there any discord with your fiancée?”

 

“Absolutely not! I swear by the god Auphus, nothing happened!”

 

The crown prince, Fridhen, who had been sitting quietly, jumped up to deny it. With golden hair shining like the island’s sun and red eyes, he was as handsome as a sculpture. He looked every bit the male lead of a novel.

 

“The crown prince is right. For the past three months, he has tried everything to cheer up the priestess, but all efforts have failed.”

 

In reality, the crown prince hadn’t visited his fiancée once, but a noble from his maternal side quickly supported him.

 

“Hmm. Then… maybe she’s just unwell. What does the doctor say?”

 

“There’s nothing wrong.”

 

“Be more specific.”

 

When the king grumbled, one of the nobles urgently signaled a servant by the door.

 

“We’ve already stationed the court physician outside the hall.”

 

Soon, the old doctor who had examined Ilena appeared in the grand hall. The current king was known for his capriciousness and for meting out harsh punishments without regard for anyone. The doctor, nervous about making a mistake, swallowed hard and spoke cautiously.

 

“The priestess is physically fine. However…”

 

“However, what? Speak up.”

 

The king urged with a still bored expression.

 

“I suspect it’s a sickness of the heart.”

 

“A sickness of the heart? What’s that?”

 

“Is it a heart disease?”

 

The hall buzzed with confusion.

 

“Well… it’s like a cold for the body. The heart is just temporarily unwell.”

 

The doctor’s explanation left everyone bewildered.

 

“Did something sad happen to the priestess?”

 

“Then she should be crying. But she doesn’t cry.”

 

“But she doesn’t laugh either.”

 

To a noble’s puzzled remark, the doctor cautiously added.

 

“Crying requires a certain amount of emotional energy. The priestess is currently in a state of lethargy.”

 

“Lethargy? Why suddenly?”

 

“A priestess with such weak will…”

 

“Goodness. How peculiar. She’s not the only one struggling; everyone is.”

 

Everyone spoke carelessly, watching the king’s reaction. Their ignorance of depression was appalling. Meanwhile, the king and crown prince exchanged a strange look. The crown prince, who had remained silent while his fiancée was being badmouthed, suddenly spoke up.

 

“Then, how about this?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Let’s try shock therapy.”

 

“Shock therapy?”

 

The king asked in a still indifferent tone. But it wasn’t a refusal. Gaining confidence, the crown prince immediately spoke.

 

“Lethargy is nonsense. The priestess must be lazy due to a lack of stimulation in her daily life.”

 

“So, you propose a shock? How?”

 

“Well, for example…”

 

Pretending to ponder, the crown prince revealed the plan he had already thought of.

 

***

 

“No! A sickness of the heart is still a sickness! As a doctor, I can’t allow such a cruel method on a patient!”

 

“How dare you! A mere doctor talks of permission to the crown prince!”

 

A commotion could be heard outside the room. Ilena, lying in bed, slowly opened her eyes. One voice belonged to the old doctor she’d seen a few times before, but she didn’t recognize the young man’s voice.

 

‘But does it matter? …Everything’s a bother.’

 

Just then, the door burst open. Ilena turned her head to see the intruder who barged in without knocking.

 

‘Oh. A handsome man.’

 

Even in her lethargy, the man’s appearance caught her eye. Dazzling golden hair and red eyes. He was so handsome it felt unreal, a beauty she’d never seen in her previous life.

 

‘Ah, I can tell. He’s the male lead.’

 

After reading the novel several times, she could recognize the male lead at a glance. But why was he only coming now? Ilena looked at him curiously. According to the original story, he was her fiancé who had grown up with her since childhood, yet he hadn’t visited her once in the past three months.

 

The man strode over to Ilena, who was lying in bed, and roughly pulled her up. Then, shaking her frail body, weakened from barely eating for three months, he shouted.

 

“Ilena, Ilena… Ilena! Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?”

 

“Ugh…”

 

Dizzy. Even those words were swallowed as Ilena staggered. Her vision spun.

 

‘What’s happening? Why is the male lead acting like a thug towards the female lead, Ilena?’

 

But her mind was too foggy to continue thinking.

 

“If you don’t take your medication, your concentration and memory may decline, and your brain function might deteriorate.”

 

The psychiatrist’s words suddenly came to mind.

 

‘Is it because of depression? Because I stopped the medication suddenly?’

 

With the male lead shaking her, it was hard to focus as her head spun.

 

“Having a priestess as a fiancée stabilizes my position. Suddenly being lethargic? Does that make sense?”

 

Unable to control his temper, he shouted, then suddenly smiled coldly.

 

“You’ve been too comfortable for a while. Yes, that’s it. You’re full.”

 

He roughly grabbed Ilena’s wrist and dragged her off the bed, muttering ominously.

 

“Why are you doing this… Where are we going?”

 

As Ilena weakly struggled, the man’s red eyes flashed as he pulled her harshly.

 

“What you need now is stimulation… This is all for you. As always. Ilena, you know that, right?”

 

‘What is this?’

 

The sudden situation was confusing. Ilena was the female lead of this romantic novel, and he was supposed to be the kind male lead. The crown prince dragged her deeper into the palace. As they descended the dark stairs, the temperature dropped, sending shivers down her spine.

 

The man soon opened a heavy iron door and shoved her inside.

 

“…Where is this?”