It’s Sunny But I’m Depressed – Chapter 23

Author: B0ucha

Chapter 24: Comforts of the Night (2)

“Ugh…”

‘Ah, refreshing.’

Cool water flowed down her parched throat. Even though Ilena wasn’t fully conscious, she gulped down the water eagerly.

‘How thirsty was I?’

She hadn’t realized it, but as soon as the water touched her lips, it felt like dry soil soaking up rain. She murmured, almost whining unconsciously.

“More… more…”

“Hold on. I’ll get more.”

She didn’t care about appearing weak. Pride and dignity were luxuries she couldn’t afford at the moment. Her body felt as if it had been beaten with a club, utterly limp. The tension from the entire day had left her trembling.

“Here. Drink slowly… slowly.”

A large hand holding clear water approached her lips. Ilena clung to it like a lifeline, drinking greedily.

“Haa…”

A groan escaped her lips. With the immediate thirst quenched, she now felt the cold and fatigue more acutely. Instinctively, Ilena moved towards the warmth. A large hand quickly held her back.

“Don’t get too close to the fire.”

“I’m… cold…”

Next to a small oasis, a campfire made from gathered branches crackled. But it wasn’t enough to warm her frozen body. As she continued to shiver, Iago sighed softly. Without warning, he lifted her up.

“What are you…?”

“Body heat is warmest.”

He replied curtly, sitting her on his lap and wrapping an arm around her. With his other hand, he gently rubbed her cold hands and feet.

‘Is his body temperature naturally high?’

The warmth from his touch seeped into her bones. Ilena finally exhaled a relaxed sigh.

‘Ah, I feel alive…’

After some time, with her thirst and cold somewhat alleviated, she began to notice her surroundings. In front of her was a hard, olive-toned chest. She could now feel the large hands rubbing her all over. Suddenly, it hit her that she was alone with the Black King in an oasis in the middle of the desert.

Pressed closely together. Was this what she thought it was? As her body regained some comfort, her mind wandered.

‘Desert, Black King, romantic…?’

“Why?”

Then, the Black King’s low, cold voice reached her ears.

“Ah! I’m sorry!”

Sorry for being a pervert! Ilena yelled, startled by her own thoughts.

“Do you know what you’re sorry for?”

The Black King raised an eyebrow slightly.

‘Huh?’

Ilena was puzzled by his unexpected response. He couldn’t have read her thoughts.

‘Oh, does he mean coming all the way here?’

But that was probably because of his bespectacled aide. If he tried to hold her accountable, she was ready to retaliate. She looked up at him defiantly, and he spoke with a blank expression.

“You can control the weather, can’t you? Why did you create a sandstorm?”

‘Oh, that.’

“Were you trying to die?”

He asked in a tone that was somehow both angry and indifferent.

“…”

Ilena just kept her mouth shut. Only the crackling of the fire filled the silence. She expected him to press further, but the Black King remained silent. Yet, despite his apparent anger, his large hands continued to warm her cold feet.

It felt unfamiliar. She had only ever seen people who would flatter her face-to-face and then betray her behind her back. This man, however, pretended to be angry while his actions and eyes showed concern. Maybe it was his touch, or perhaps the shock of waking up in the desert.

Or maybe, just maybe, she wanted to tell him.

“I can’t.”

Ilena, nestled in his arms, suddenly spoke.

“What?”

The Black King asked quietly.

“I can’t. Control the weather.”

Ilena said, glaring at the fire.

“Isn’t it pathetic? I can’t control my emotions. I can’t even cry when I want to.”

She hesitated for a moment before adding nonchalantly.

“I have depression.”

It was only the second time in both her lives that she had told someone about her illness. Her heart pounded loudly.

“You know, that’s selfish.”

The words she heard the first time she revealed her depression kept echoing in her mind.

“…”

No response came.

‘I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.’

Ilena hid her miserable feelings and spun a web of lies.

“So, I suddenly got amnesia? Lost all my memories from three months ago. And along with that came depression, which is nothing much, but…”

“You’re not pathetic at all.”

The Black King replied so casually. Ilena finally tore her gaze from the fire to look up at him. His face was as expressionless as ever. But there was no sign of disdain in his expression. Ilena stared at his handsome face and slowly spoke.

“…Do you even know what depression is?”

“Honestly, it’s the first I’ve heard of it.”

He blinked as he spoke.

“Whatever it is, you’re not pathetic. Not once have I ever seen you as pathetic.”

Ilena lowered her head. Ah, there it was again. Something welled up in her throat, and her eyes stung. Yet, these damned tears wouldn’t fall. As she swallowed the tears that rose to her throat, time passed. Drip—

‘Huh? Is it raining?’

She hadn’t cried, had she? Ilena touched the droplet on her cheek, disbelieving. Then she realized it hadn’t fallen from the sky.

“Why…?”

“It must have been hard… carrying everyone’s expectations… and not being able to cry when you’re sad.”

The Black King was crying. Muttering words that seemed meant for her, or perhaps for himself. Tears like raindrops fell onto Ilena’s face.

“Ah.”

Ilena let out a small gasp.

‘Beautiful.’

Even in that moment, she thought so. The amethyst-like eyes looking down at her. The reddened corners of his eyes. The slightly furrowed brow.

‘A crying man looks beautiful. I must be dangerous.’

She couldn’t blame Regulus. Maybe she was the real pervert. Ilena chuckled softly and reached out to wipe his tears.

“Why are you crying, Your Highness?”

“But… but…”

He sobbed, hiccupping.

‘Ah… something.’

Watching him cry, a long-forgotten sensation resurfaced. The feeling of release, as if something heavy in her chest was being washed away with tears.

‘Even though I’m not the one crying.’

Ilena raised her head and looked at the night sky. Perhaps because it was filled with stars. Despite the pitch-black night, it didn’t feel dark or frightening at all. For a long time, they held each other close.

***

Crackle. The sound of the campfire spread across the quiet desert. Ilena quietly poked the fire with a stick. Once her body warmed up, she slipped out of Iago’s embrace. Iago sat beside her, hugging his knees, stealing glances at Ilena.

After revealing their deepest thoughts, an awkward yet tender atmosphere lingered. How long had they sat like that? Unable to bear the silence, Iago spoke first.

“You were driven out of the North.”

‘Oh no, that’s not it.’

He regretted speaking as soon as he did. Ilena, who had been staring at the fire, flinched. Now her mind was in turmoil.

‘How honest should I be? Can I trust him? This time?’

Ilena, out of old habit, started to weigh the facts and benefits… but stopped. The desert. The starry night sky. The warmth from the crackling fire. These things had a way of dulling one’s senses. Ilena just spoke without thinking.

“Yes. I was driven out.”

“…Bastards.”

Iago growled lowly. His once gentle eyes momentarily turned cold.

‘That’s probably the worst insult he can muster.’

With that thought, the large man curled up like a small puppy seemed incredibly endearing. After hesitating like a whining puppy, he cautiously asked.

“Then… do you have no memory at all?”

“Hmm. I have memories from when I was very young. But none as a priestess. However…”

Ilena hesitated before speaking honestly.

“At the end, something bad happened, so I don’t really want to go back to the North.”

“I see. I understand.”

Iago simply nodded. He didn’t ask what had happened. Ilena gazed at him quietly. Though she was practically abandoned in the middle of the desert, she felt strangely warm.

“Why do you put on such an act?”

This time, Ilena asked Iago.

“A-Act? What do you mean?”

“…”

“Ah, earlier, dust got in my eyes…”

Unable to withstand her silence, Iago fumbled.

“…”

Ilena continued to poke the fire with a blank expression.

“You… you know, there was a lot of dust because of the sandstorm.”

“…”

Ilena maintained her silence and expressionless face, stirring the fire.

“…Ugh.”