From Divorce to Dusk Chapter 7.8

「It has become quite a habit of yours by now.」

「I’m sorr—ah.」

Tsk. Han Taesuk clicked his tongue. He certainly wasn’t this kind of person at first. He was humble, yes, but he was a spirited man who tried his best to do well, but from a certain point, he began to lose his luster. After this miscarriage, he appeared so confused that he lost his confidence to the point of making his very existence seem blurred. It was like looking at someone who was being abused.

「By the way, how are the pheromones?」

「…I can only smell the pheromones of Alphas. I couldn’t feel Director Ji’s pheromones.」

A few days ago, after the marking broke and Park Jaekyung entered his heat cycle again, the hospital tests the following day confirmed that the marking was indeed dissolved, and Jaekyung’s hormones were found to be imbalanced. However, there was no evidence that all of this was related to V-2.

The memory disorder was the same. No matter how many scans they took of his head, no abnormalities were found. Consequently, the doctor’s opinion was the same as a few days ago. That his body was changing and his psychological state was very unstable due to the shock of the miscarriage. They said there was no other way to explain it.

To the confused Jaekyung, Han Taesuk suggested keeping his condition a secret from Director Ji for the time being. There was no way Jaekyung would refuse his proposal. He was terrified of what she would say if she found out, and the idea of having to be marked by Han Taesuk again was somehow unappealing. No, to be honest, although he didn’t show it to Han Taesuk, just the thought of having to redo the marking made him feel repulsed.

Instead, he decided to meticulously record even the smallest changes in his physical condition. One thing he discovered during this process was that he couldn’t smell the pheromones of Omegas; the only pheromones he could smell were those of Alphas. Furthermore, Jaekyung’s own pheromone levels were near zero. Even so, they couldn’t simply conclude that Jaekyung’s pheromones weren’t being produced; based on his recent experience, they were keeping in mind the possibility that his pheromones might only explode when he enters a heat cycle.

「Where shall I take you?」

The driver asked cautiously as they got into the car.

「Home.」

「Ah, Executive Director, I’m sorry, but we might be late if we do that.」

Secretary Oh, sitting in the passenger seat, spoke with a troubled face.

「Ah, then I’ll take a taxi—ah, rather than that, it seems better to go to the appointment location first and then go home. I have plenty of time.」

「…Let’s do that, then.」

「Yes, I understand.」

「Now, tell me about the timeline.」

「Ah, yes.」

Han Taesuk spoke as soon as they sat in the car. Jaekyung quickly pulled a palm-sized notebook from his bag. This was a homework assignment the two had agreed to work on together recently. And it was Jaekyung who had suggested this homework first. This was because he felt he needed to piece together the scattered fragments of his memories since his mind was still in a state of confusion.

Surprisingly, Han Taesuk helped without finding it a nuisance. Even though this was only possible in situations where the two were inevitably together, Jaekyung never asked for more than that, so he was reasonably satisfied with the situation.

Jaekyung looked at the notebook and read through what he had noted down. Being hospitalized for side effects of the injected drug, being marked, being discharged, meeting the Professor—looking at the organized list, he surprisingly couldn’t remember anything at all. It truly felt as if he had lost time.

No matter how great the shock of the miscarriage was, how could he forget everything like this? He asked the doctor if he had perhaps injured his head severely when he fell from the stairs, but the doctor told him there had been no impact significant enough to cause such an issue at the time. Did he cherish the child in his womb that much? Enough to be that shocked? Jaekyung reached a point where he couldn’t even understand his past self, whom he no longer remembered.

「Hmm.」

Through the conversation with Jaekyung, the timeline was more or less put together. Han Taesuk completed it by adding details up to the last thing Jaekyung remembered, and Jaekyung carefully wrote down the dates and times.

「We have arrived.」

Before they knew it, they had arrived at Han Taesuk’s appointment location.

「Then, please have a safe time.」

Jaekyung said as he closed the notebook. He nodded and got out of the car without any greeting, and Jaekyung accepted it as a matter of course.

「Shall I take you home?」

「Yes….」

Actually, he wanted to get some more fresh air before going home, but since he was in a state where he didn’t know when his pheromones might explode or when a heat cycle might hit, Jaekyung left his regrets behind and leaned back against the seat. Then, suddenly feeling something strange, he turned his head to look in the direction Han Taesuk had walked, and Jaekyung immediately regretted it. He shouldn’t have done that. In the place where Han Taesuk was, an older-looking man and a small, pretty male Omega beside him were smiling brightly and greeting Han Taesuk warmly. And that Omega was one that Jaekyung also knew. When was it. Ah, the photo that arrived on their second wedding anniversary. It was a photo of him meeting an Omega at a hotel, and that very person was now smiling in front of Han Taesuk’s eyes.

「Ah.」

I saw him. Our eyes met with that Omega. Jaekyung quickly faced forward and hunched his body low.

「Mr. Jaekyung. Are you hurting somewhere?」

The driver asked in surprise. Jaekyung quickly shook his head.

「No. Please go. Quickly.」

The Omega didn’t even look flustered upon seeing Jaekyung, but rather wore a confident smile. As if he were the victor.

◆

Tap, tap.

Raindrops began to fall one or two at a time, and soon they were falling in clusters. He briefly wondered if Han Taesuk had an umbrella, but then thinking that Secretary Oh would surely have taken care of it, Jaekyung turned the page of the book he was reading. Now that his body had stabilized, he thought it might be good to slowly start being active again. He felt he should go back to the gallery and start studying again. Otherwise, he would keep worrying about the things he couldn’t remember and walking on eggshells… and besides, since they said being active is good for improving his physical condition…

Jaekyung looked at his lower abdomen as he turned to the next page of the book. It’s unbelievable. To think a child was inside here.

「No.」

Jaekyung quickly shook his head. He decided not to think about the child. He didn’t know if the child, who vanished without even seeing the light, would be disappointed, but he made up his mind to beg for forgiveness when he went to heaven. Since it was hard enough to take care of his own body right now, he felt that if he even thought about the child, he would be dragged into an endless abyss, so Jaekyung was trying his best to look away, and he felt that looking away was helping a little lately.

And strangely, today, the face and the gaze of that Omega he saw earlier wouldn’t be forgotten. Why on earth was he looking at him with those eyes? And who was he? Who could he be that—

「Ah.」

Ding-dong— the doorbell rang along with the sound. The housekeeper ran and pressed the door-open button. Thinking it was probably Han Taesuk, he rose from his seat to prepare to greet him. However, seeing the housekeeper gathering her things to leave, Jaekyung tilted his head and looked at her.

「What’s going on? Is it not Executive Director Han?」