In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 21

It had been a while since I’d visited the café in front of campus.

Outside the window, light rain drizzled down.

A perfect day for coffee.

Come to think of it, I really used to love rainy days.

Returning to my twenties, the feelings I’d carried back then had come alive again.

And gradually, I was becoming accustomed to this life.

Every time I encountered the things I’d loved—things I’d forgotten while living—it hit me like this.

Being young again, living a second time, was becoming a little more joyful.

Still intense, but different from before somehow.

Though I was finally catching my breath now, ever since restarting Flat Shoes, I’d been running nonstop without a moment to breathe.

Sometimes, the thought would strike me.

To escape villain roles and take on various characters, shouldn’t I experience diverse situations and emotions myself?

Thinking about other genres, I realized I couldn’t properly do any of them.

Romance, the most mainstream genre—naturally, I had no idea how to do it, either in acting or in real life.

Maybe if it was slapping the female lead who was flirting with the male lead.

Loving the male lead desperately—I’d never learned that, never experienced it.

I’d never played an ordinary mother role, or a bratty daughter role either.

This won’t do.

Looking back… even in my previous life, I’d had no real friends to speak of, no hobbies, never even traveled anywhere.

Plus, so many people found me intimidating because of my image.

Whenever I had thoughts like these, I’d feel hollow, like I’d wasted my life.

Hmm…

Lost in various musings by the window like that, a voice called out from right behind me.

“Noona!”

“You scared me!”

Just as I startled, a party popper exploded right in front of my face with a bang.

“What!”

My heart dropped.

Yuseok, noona’s age is more than you think.

“Noona, congratulations on getting a fan café!”

“Huh…?”

Seon Yuseok wore a dumbfounded expression.

“You didn’t even know you got a fan café…? Noona, you seriously need to get an agency fast.”

Seon Yuseok pulled out his phone and showed me my fan café online.

1,192 members.

Seon Yuseok grinned and said,

“I joined too, noona. Did well, right?”

My head went blank.

Even when we filmed Flat Shoes before, while there was buzz, no fan café had been created…

This was completely unexpected.

I took the phone and looked through the posts.

Analysis posts about Yoo Ji-an’s character and speculation posts, discussions about Flat Shoes, early-released magazine pictorial talk, interview and magazine screenshot posts.

Over fifty posts had gone up just overnight.

The posts with the highest views were usually ones containing members’ interpretations and empathy about Yoo Ji-an, and mentions of fan meetings were getting heated responses.

– When’s the fan meeting?

– Please sell Yoo Ji-an goods.

There were quite a few fans desperately waiting for my agency to be decided.

Fan meeting…

I didn’t even realize I’d been holding my breath until I let out a burst of hot air.

That kind of thing…

I wanted to do it too.

My face turned red.

Even in my forties, whenever fellow actors my age heard “my kid” from fans at fan meetings, I’d felt it was foreign yet envious.

Joking around with fans like friends without any barriers.

For me, it was something only possible in dreams.

But already, talk of fan meetings was starting.

Seon Yuseok looked at me and chuckled.

“Noona, don’t tell me you’re embarrassed?”

I turned my head, avoiding an answer.

“Oh right, the Hanho Arts Awards are coming up soon.”

“Hm?”

Ah, it’s March now.

Already time for the Hanho Arts Awards.

“Too bad. If Flat Shoes had aired longer, you’d definitely have been nominated for Best New Actress.”

It was talk I’d never even imagined.

Because I’d never dared hope for such things in my entire life.

“If it gets pushed to next year, you’ll be at a disadvantage competing with all the other works that come out right before.”

Watching him worry about various things on my behalf made me laugh.

“I’m fine. Hey, thanks for introducing me to Director Kwon.”

“Speaking of agencies, noona. Seriously, what is this? Why do you keep meeting with Director Kwon without me?”

Seon Yuseok’s brow furrowed slightly.

“Ah, that. I’ve decided to join the company Director Kwon’s starting separately.”

At those words, Seon Yuseok’s eyes widened.

“Director Kwon’s starting a company?”

Seon Yuseok rested his chin on his forehead.

Oh my god, this feeling.

“I’m the only one left out, right? Hm? I’m the only one…”

Seon Yuseok carelessly set the cake he’d been holding onto the table.

Through the narrow gap, I could see a princess doll on the cake and a pair of neatly arranged pink shoes.

Cute decoration.

For someone my age…

He must have carefully picked it out because I’d filmed Flat Shoes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Seon Yuseok’s voice grew quite heavy.

“Hey… you’re already under contract.”

“Still, couldn’t you have told me?”

Hmm.

Does he want to come to our company?

Well, I’ve been helping him practice acting, so he follows me, and he’s seen Director Kwon’s abilities right in front of him all this time.

“I persuaded Director Kwon hard. She’s such a great person.”

“Ah man, I regret signing with my agency.”

Seon Yuseok grumbled as he answered.

Watching that made me chuckle.

“Yuseok, don’t worry. I’ll keep helping you practice acting.”

Hearing my words, Seon Yuseok let out a sigh.

“Why’s this guy sighing. You have so many advantages you can get from a big company. While you’re under contract, you’ll need the company’s contact abilities.”

Not knowing how I feel inside, Seon Yuseok kept pouting.

“Even with just Director Kwon and noona, it’ll be better than True Actors!”

Oh geez, seriously.

“Why are you throwing such a tantrum!”

At my raised voice, Seon Yuseok’s face fell completely.

Pushing aside the slight annoyance creeping up, I placed my hand on Seon Yuseok’s shoulder and patted it.

Then Seon Yuseok looked down at me with puppy-dog eyes.

“Yuseok, noona and Director Kwon will help you a lot, so work with good roles there and come over later, okay?”

At my gentle tone, Seon Yuseok’s ears turned red.

“Me, seriously. I’m going to get huge and charge an enormous price! When that happens, it’ll be too late to regret it, noona.”

What ridiculous whining.

Why are your ears turning red though?

I just blinked at Seon Yuseok’s face.

“Ah! Whatever!”

Seon Yuseok stomped out of the café.

How ridiculous.

Don’t use informal speech, you brat…

* * *

The rowdy wrap party gathering.

Finally, Flat Shoes’ long journey had ended.

The sizzling sound of grilling beef, glasses clinking together, people laughing and chattering filled the restaurant.

At the center of the restaurant, Director Moon, completely drunk, stood up unsteadily saying he’d give a toast.

Then, holding his glass, he stood rambling on.

“I really! This is the best drama of my entire directing career. Seriously, our, huh? Staff, cast, even our writer!”

Writer Lee Si-young glanced at the director with a slight smile and downed a glass.

Unexpectedly, she was a heavy drinker.

The writer and Jieun-ssi kept silently knocking back bomb shots gulp after gulp.

Despite staff members trying to stop her, the writer brushed off their hands.

Jieun-ssi was also a drinker who wouldn’t lose.

Though everyone should be exhausted, they laughed as if thrilled.

A filming atmosphere this good was truly rare to see.

One of the best in my entire acting career.

I was also sipping drinks for the first time in a while, sitting between Park Hoon sunbaenim and Yu-ri-ssi.

I used to really love drinking…

After not drinking for so long, the alcohol hit me fast.

The director’s speech continued.

“Our youngest staff members, huh? Sorry if I made you suffer with all my nagging. I’ll give you all spending money separately. Line up later.”

Then Jung Chaesung, sitting at another table, suddenly stood up and went to stand in front of the director.

“Hey, aren’t you leaving?!”

As the flustered director waved his hand, the wrap party erupted in laughter.

Just as people raised their glasses when the director’s long-winded speech was finally ending…

“Han Sena-ssi?”

A familiar male voice came from somewhere.

Startled, I looked toward the restaurant door…

It was Yang Euichul.

Director Moon, who spotted Yang Euichul, hiccupped and opened his eyes wide.

“Huh? Director Yang, what brings you here?”

The director waved his hand at Yang Euichul happily.

Yang Euichul came over and clasped Director Moon’s hand, shaking it.

“Ah, I was having a wrap party nearby too. I heard Director was having his wrap party here, so I came to congratulate you.”

The two, who seemed quite close, looked at each other and laughed heartily.

Yang Euichul exchanged greetings with several people.

“Yu-ri-ssi gets prettier every time I see you.”

“Oh my, thank you even for just saying so.”

“Actor Park Hoon, it’s been a while.”

“Oh my, Director. Have you been well?”

Then Yang Euichul strode directly in front of me.

With everyone’s attention focused…

“Sena-ssi, I heard rumors you’re signing with another company. That’s not true, right? That would be a betrayal.”

Yang Euichul dropped those words as if he’d planned it.

With that one statement, the atmosphere in the restaurant instantly turned cold.

Director’s face reddened as he glanced around then sat down quietly.

“Director. This kind of talk at a wrap party is a bit…”

I answered Yang Euichul with a forced smile.

“You haven’t been answering my calls, Actress. Because you’re busy. But I’ve invested quite a lot in Sena-ssi, you know? Now I need to recoup some of that.”

Beneath Yang Euichul’s smiling expression, I felt something eerily unsettling.

In this moment, I had a gut feeling.

Yang Euichul was completely pissed.

The actors and staff sitting around started pretending not to notice and began grilling meat again.

“I’m sorry. Since filming just ended, I’ll contact you separately, Director.”

“Can’t get a definite answer today?”

Yang Euichul asked again with his smile slightly faded.

He’d clearly come intending to apply pressure.

This was going to be quite a headache.

I could feel people’s sidelong glances.

I’d been expecting Yang Euichul to come make a scene eventually, but I hadn’t expected it would be like this.

Just then, Park Hoon sunbaenim spoke up.

“Director Yang, you came to make your pitch, I see. Right?”

It felt like an attempt to ease the atmosphere.

“Yes. I’ve granted Sena-ssi’s requests countless times trying to contact her. But rumors are going around that she’s going to another agency. So I, like this, have to come begging again.”