In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 55

Back at the filming site.

I took a deep breath as I stepped out of the car.

‘Even if the ratings are lower than you expected, don’t be disappointed. It’s just because people don’t know about it yet. Got it?’

That was what Mom had said early this morning.

Come to think of it, Director Kang said something similar yesterday too.

My heart grew unsettled.

That happened sometimes.

Cases where a project was clearly well-made, but the ratings didn’t reflect it.

To survive long in this industry, you had to keep your emotions in check.

So I shouldn’t get my hopes up too much either.

Just as I was steeling myself with that mindset, an assistant director approached from far away, waving.

“Sena-ssi, our ratings are…”

The assistant director’s expression didn’t look particularly good.

So that’s how it went.

I forced a bright smile and patted them first.

“Right? We worked so hard on it! People just haven’t recognized its true value yet.”

That’s when a question came right back at me.

“Yet?”

Huh?

The cinematographer standing nearby let out a laugh.

When I quickly looked around, several staff members were all suppressing smiles.

“Puhaha! We hit 12% yesterday! That’s the average, not the peak!”

“Huhh?!”

“Ah, thinking about how busy Sena-ssi is going to get practicing girl group dances brings tears to my eyes. What a shame.”

Then the assistant director burst out laughing, clutching his stomach.

Whoa.

“I-I totally expected it, you know?!”

As I was chatting with the staff like that, Lee Seokhyun got out of his car in the distance and waved enthusiastically.

“You’re saying we got 12%?!!”

His face was beaming with happiness.

Ugh, this is what happens with people who get info fast.

* * *

Same time, outside the third-year second-grade classroom at Hansung Foreign Language High School.

When I opened the classroom door, my friends greeted me with an even livelier atmosphere than usual.

“Kkotbyeol! Did you watch yesterday? The new one?”

“Palace Flower is seriously amazing—the male lead, female lead, visuals are all good.”

‘Ah, that’s what they’re talking about.’

They must have been discussing Palace Flower.

For high school seniors preparing for exams, dramas were their only escape.

My lips were already itching.

I wanted to brag that the Palace Flower female lead Sena unnie is from the same agency as me.

But it’s still a bit too early, right?

I decided to play it cool.

“Yeah, it was decent. I especially liked Sunim.”

My friends nodded along at my words.

“That’s Flat Shoes, right? My mom really loves her.”

“She acts so freaking well. Didn’t she win a Rookie Award recently? She looked like a goddess in that dress.”

“I’m already a fundamental. Everyone join the fan cafe.”

Everyone praised Sena unnie enthusiastically.

Don’t I feel proud for some reason?

Why am I the one feeling happy about this?

Plus, seeing Sena unnie’s precious fans—the fundamentals—promoting the actor right in front of me felt surreal.

This is what it means to be a celebrity.

I’m envious and fascinated.

Once I debut, will people be this enthusiastic about me too?

I decided to memorize every single one of my friends’ reactions.

I’ll have to tell Sena unnie about this for sure.

* * *

A little while later.

“So these days, if you haven’t watched Palace Flower, you literally can’t join conversations at all, you know?”

Kkotbyeol had been chattering away beside me for a while now.

She looked so adorable that I patted her head.

“Thanks. Kkotbyeol’s making unnie’s shoulders rise with pride, you know?”

Just like Kkotbyeol said.

The ratings climbed steadily like a ship with wind in its sails.

Unlike my past life, this was truly a welcome variable.

The staff predicted we’d knock on the 20% wall soon, having jumped from 12% to 17% in just two weeks.

Online mentions surged dramatically.

It was incomparable to the Flat Shoes era.

However, that didn’t mean my life changed drastically.

If anything, I ended up holed up in the practice room under the weight of increased responsibility.

Even today, before Kkotbyeol came to visit, I’d been rolling around between the camera and mirror in my training clothes.

“Phew— Then I’m going to head to practice too! I want to become just like you, unnie.”

After leaving those admirable words, Kkotbyeol disappeared with her trainer.

After waving her off, I let out a deep sigh in the now-empty practice room.

I picked up the camcorder and played back the practice footage.

I’d been practicing the escape sequence from the latter part of the project.

The most important section—the path where Sunim goes to recruit Kim Ikjae.

“Ah, I look like I’m holding back even though I’m not. How’s the camera going to capture this?”

If I had my way, I’d want to go roll around at the location site right now.

“Ah geez, practice bug. Still not done?”

That’s when Minyeong unnie opened the practice room door and came in.

“Unnie, can you look at this for me? This part here.”

When I shoved the camcorder at her, unnie shook her head and pushed it away.

Unnie’s arms were full of paperwork.

“Ah.”

Only now did I notice unnie’s face had become completely haggard.

“I’m dying without you showing me stuff like this too.”

“Ahaha, you’re really busy too, huh, unnie?”

As various script offers, commercials, and variety show appearances increased, unnie had been cutting back on sleep to personally review everything for weeks now.

That’s what I keep saying—hire more staff.

She had the kind of personality where nothing felt right unless it passed through her own hands.

“I stopped by because of a commercial. Even if we put variety shows aside, we need to discuss commercials with you.”

“Commercials…”

I swallowed hard.

It used to be something I could only dream about.

“We’ll hear the details later. For now, ‘Seossi’ and ‘Miragio’ sent offers for cosmetics models, and a traditional health supplement commercial came in too. They must have moved fast since you’re doing a historical drama.”

Hmm…?

“That seems weird considering I did a liquor commercial.”

“Pfft.”

We both burst out laughing at the same time.

“Right? It’d be like a ’cause the illness, cure the illness’ concept.”

Minyeong unnie said with a rare smile.

“Ah, there’s this one too. It’s a clothing brand, but it’s kind of… small-scale, I guess.”

“Where?”

“It’s called Gaia. They use an eco-friendly concept with natural materials.”

Oh, that sounds good?

Thinking back to my past life, as time went on, trends would flow toward health and the environment.

“I want to do that one right away.”

“What? Isn’t that too hasty?”

Unnie’s reaction was lukewarm.

Is it because they’re a small-scale brand and offered a low amount?

“Brands with good values like this are great, but you’re still a rookie. If you’re not careful, the brand image could get stamped onto you.”

Of course, unnie had a point.

Established actors with a solid image pull the brand along with them, but rookies like me could have the brand image stamped over us instead.

Plus, the brand image might create preconceptions about me.

Still.

“It’s fine. My next project is going to be something radical anyway.”

This was an opportunity I couldn’t miss.

That kind of image would be more advantageous to build early.

Watching me, Minyeong unnie shook her head.

“I don’t get it. The more I see you, the less I understand. You’re going to do whatever you want anyway, right?”

“Hehe, yes.”

“But you know, if you do an exclusive contract here, you might not be able to do ‘Miragio.’ Is that okay?”

That was the final hurdle.

Miragio was a high-end cosmetics brand with a strong presence in department stores.

Far from an eco-friendly image.

Of course, if I were an established actor who’d done multiple projects and shown various transformations in my acting, there might be a chance to catch both rabbits.

But actress Han Sena is just a rookie starting out, so that wouldn’t work.

My stomach twisted slightly.

But I should choose the long-term benefit.

When I nodded, Minyeong unnie seemed to understand and didn’t press further.

“What about the scripts? Want to look at some?”

“Hmm…”

Come to think of it, it’s time to choose my next project.

I did just say I’d do something radical. Already…

Why does time fly by so fast?

“Let me decide a bit later.”

At that, Minyeong unnie nodded and patted my shoulder.

“You worked hard. I’m going to get some sleep now.”

“Yeah, rest up.”

I plopped down on the practice room floor again.

One reason I wanted to delay deciding on my next project was because of this scene staring me in the face right now.

I replayed my image on the camcorder over and over.

This isn’t it.

It would have been more desperate, harder, more urgent than this.

I began imagining again those moments of Sunim I hadn’t witnessed.

* * *

“The slope here is steep. Sena-ssi, please. You know, right?”

Director Kang spoke in a slightly more on-edge tone than usual.

“I’ll be careful.”

“Yes, please.”

Back at the filming site.

The director had been so concerned about me possibly overdoing it and getting hurt that he’d spent several minutes talking about safety instead of emotions.

The cinematographer was also checking the blocking multiple times with a deliberately serious face.

“But Director, when I roll here, like this…”

“Sena-ssi, your passion is already burning hot, so let’s stop there alright?”

Eventually, Director Kang’s voice rose.

But I couldn’t back down either.

“Let me try it once first, Director. I absolutely won’t get hurt. Really, really.”

At my words, Director Kang sighed.

When the director nodded, the staff each found their positions.

“Let’s get it in one take. Everyone, don’t make mistakes. Ready, action.”

I immediately started running beside the camera rail.

This was my last chance to save the king and this nation.

If even this plan fell through.

His Majesty’s nation, my Joseon would no longer remain intact.

“Search everywhere!”

From far away, the royal guards’ voices drifted through like fog.

If I got caught, not just me but everyone who held hope for this nation would die.

The pressure made my breath catch.

When a wall appeared, I hid beneath it and walked in a low crouch.

“Cuckoo!”

That’s when a bird’s cry rang out.

It was a sound made by a middle-aged eunuch.

As promised, I turned half a circle with my back against his.

A masterstroke trap.

“Over there! Kill them if you can’t catch them!”

The eunuch ran in the direction I’d come from.

Without even seeing his face.

But I didn’t look back.

He’s probably…

Pushing aside bitter thoughts, I climbed over the wall in my dirt-covered robe.

At that moment, a scraping sound rang out.

Beyond the wall, a second rail camera was waiting.

Forgetting the strange sensation in my leg, I ran out without delay.

The camera swiftly chased after me.

Soon after, a group of royal guards spotted me and approached.

“Get her!”

I stood frozen in dismay, stopping dead in my tracks, when topknotted men who’d been hiding appeared with swords and faced them.

“Leave quickly!”

They were young eunuchs.

Sacrifices that would be stained with blood.

I stared at their faces for just a moment before continuing to run.

The road was still long.

My breath had already risen to my throat.

How much further did I run?

“…Cut. Okay!”

Even after the okay sign, my feet kept running on their own for a while.

A female assistant director came and blocked my path, embracing me.

“That’s enough, shh—”

The moment those words ended, my legs gave out and I collapsed.

As I exited the scene, the sensation I’d desperately suppressed earlier bloomed.

“Ugh.”

The assistant director discovered blood on the torn hem of my robe.

“That sound from earlier. Ah, I can’t live.”

I must have scraped my leg on a protruding corner while climbing over the wall.

Seeing the wound made the pain intensify.

“Get disinfectant, quick!”

While the staff bustled about, my breathing still wouldn’t settle.

The director also left his seat and came to squat before me, looking at my leg.

“You need to go to the hospital.”

“No!”

There were still many important scenes left in the latter half.

I absolutely didn’t want to break this immersion.

This breathing right now was the perfect opportunity to capture Sunim well.

“I can’t do it either. I’m not filming in this state.”

But Director Kang’s expression was firm.

“Director.”

“No amount of whining or crying will work this time. Go to the hospital first.”

Then he stood up and shouted at the filming site.

“Everyone, filming break.”

Ah…

I bit my lip hard.

I resented the director.