In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 71

A few days later.

Life gradually returned to the filming site.

Won Hyerim sunbaenim stuck to Chaeseong-ssi’s side all day, relentlessly pestering him.

“Director, about Yeongsil. Doesn’t she look too sexy?”

“Yes, yes… Pardon?”

Chaeseong-ssi had lost weight in that short time, his cheeks now hollow.

“Yeongsil shouldn’t be sexy—she needs to have this cheap quality to her. But I’m not getting that right now.”

Chaeseong-ssi’s pupils shook rapidly.

That’s when Jang Heeyeong sunbaenim, who’d been smoking behind them, intervened to rescue the young director.

“Hey, that’s something you need to handle yourself.”

“Oppa, stay out of this. These kinds of things need to be discussed with the director one by one.”

Won Hyerim sunbaenim glanced over at Kim Eunseo and me, who’d been reviewing the script together.

“When these young actors are doing so well. I can’t just sit still.”

At those words, Kim Eunseo and I could only laugh awkwardly.

It seemed the momentum of the fresh-faced rookies who were holding their own had lit a fire under sunbaenim.

“Director, should I go to the mainland and get an even more intense perm?”

Won Hyerim sunbaenim looked at the mirror with a somewhat troubled expression.

Chaeseong-ssi, whose eyes had been darting around, carefully took the mirror from her.

“The Yeongsil I envisioned is actually a romantic at heart.”

At Chaeseong-ssi’s words, Won Hyerim sunbaenim’s eyes widened slightly.

“She’s always been starved for love, always trying to fill that void, but over the years she’s been betrayed repeatedly. And so there comes a moment when reality takes precedence over love for Yeongsil.”

I also perked up my ears, listening to Chaeseong-ssi’s character analysis.

“The love she confessed before killing Yunwoo probably wasn’t a lie. Yeongsil is someone who’s sincere in every moment. It’s just that on this island, she’s applying what she learned from her past to protect herself. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”

“Love for those who love me, betrayal for those who betray me. Something like that?”

Won Hyerim sunbaenim nodded as she spoke.

“Yes. So the gestures you’re worrying about right now. Whether they look sexy or have ‘that kind of vibe’…”

“That cheap quality?”

“Yes, yes… Think about it that way. The actions someone would take who’s weaponized their own vulnerability of being starved for love. Gestures she commits without boundaries, always so honest.”

Had Chaeseong-ssi’s way with words always been this good?

I listened quietly, secretly impressed.

“Actions driven by wanting to be loved by this man tonight regardless of what happens tomorrow, the audacity to kill someone just to get money right now. Yeongsil isn’t smart or far-sighted, so there must be gestures and behaviors that flow from that.”

Won Hyerim sunbaenim’s expression grew serious as she listened.

“I hope people will frown at Yeongsil but still won’t be able to easily forget her.”

When the conversation ended, Won Hyerim sunbaenim bowed to the young director and headed inside the pension.

She looked as if she was going to review what she’d just heard and have a conversation with Yeongsil.

Then Jang Heeyeong sunbaenim, who’d been quietly listening nearby, also rushed at Chaeseong-ssi like lightning.

“Director, I have something too…”

Chaeseong-ssi drank his coffee with exhausted eyes as he listened to sunbaenim’s story.

Watching that scene made me laugh.

Beside me, Kim Eunseo closed her script and spoke quietly.

“Where did you say you met that director?”

“He was the assistant director on Flat Shoes.”

“Are you collecting Dragon Balls or something?”

I was about to respond when Jang Heeyeong sunbaenim started acting out a scene right in front of Chaeseong-ssi, voice booming.

Chaeseong-ssi looked at the older male actor before him with a startled expression.

Watching that, I bit my lip hard to hold back laughter.

Whatever it looked like, communication between the actors and director was flowing smoothly.

* * *

After morning filming ended.

In one corner of the pension set, I sat in front of a laptop borrowed from staff.

Hyeonsu-ssi approached, brushing sand from his hair.

In the filming we’d just finished, Hyeonsu-ssi had been the first character to die.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m curious about the rough edit.”

“Oh, I’m curious too.”

Hyeonsu-ssi sat down beside me.

“Do you always watch rough edits during filming?”

I shook my head at Hyeonsu-ssi’s question.

“No, this time I have some things to study.”

When Hyeonsu-ssi made an expression asking what kind of study, I answered.

“Last time when I produced a video myself for the first time, there were a lot of frustrating aspects. I’m trying to learn by comparing. It seems to help with acting too.”

At my words, Hyeonsu-ssi smiled slightly.

“I feel like there are many things to learn from you, Sena-ssi.”

“Come on, not at all.”

“You persuaded the director too, didn’t you?”

Hyeonsu-ssi threw an unexpected question.

“Well…”

“Everyone knows even if they don’t say it—like me, they know you’ve been helping a lot behind the scenes so the director doesn’t lose face. Thanks to you, we actors have been able to film smoothly too.”

Hyeonsu-ssi spoke gently in his characteristic soft voice.

“Thank you.”

At those words of gratitude, I scratched my head awkwardly.

Hyeonsu-ssi reached out to play the rough edit video.

I started taking notes in my notebook with the pen I’d been holding as I watched.

How the directing differed in similar scenes to what I’d filmed before.

What techniques were used with lighting and sound to maximize scenes.

I checked how it was similar to and different from the foreign films Chaeseong-ssi had referenced.

The video I’d uploaded to iTube was becoming more and more embarrassing.

I should have studied a bit more before uploading it.

Then again, if I’d studied too much, maybe that raw feeling wouldn’t have come through.

From outside came the sounds of Kkotbyeol and Heechan giggling and running around.

“You’re dead if I catch you!”

Kkotbyeol chased closely after Heechan, who was running away playfully.

Those two always turned the cold beach into a summery seaside resort atmosphere in an instant.

“Those two are really something.”

Hyeonsu-ssi lifted his head briefly to look outside and laughed.

“Right?”

Kkotbyeol and Heechan had the most opposite dynamic inside and outside the camera.

Within the frame, energetic and impulsive Seonggyeol would keep trying to talk to the perpetually blank and gloomy Eunchae, only to get angry and turn away on his own, but…

“Ah, stop eating my snacks! You pig!”

“Hey, I said stop taking her stuff. Why do you keep stealing from her?”

Outside the frame, Kkotbyeol never backed down.

That’s when Seon Yuseok butted into their squabble.

“Hyung’s the one who told me to steal two!”

Kkotbyeol stopped dead in her tracks and looked at Seon Yuseok with disbelief.

Seon Yuseok laughed sheepishly.

What a level, even outside the camera…

The moment my eyes met Seon Yuseok’s through the window, I quickly turned my head away.

* * *

Two weeks later, already the last day of another year.

I was gradually losing enthusiasm for spending year-end and New Year holidays on filming sites.

Why does time fly by so fast?

The filming site family in similar situations gathered in the dorm living room.

“Last time I got drunk and had my fortune told… the fortune teller said my year-end would be complete chaos.”

The cinematographer, who had an unexpectedly funny way with words, spoke up.

“Oh my, oh my.”

Staff members gathered around one by one.

“I got so upset, like what kind of place is this, and really let them have it. But look outside now. They were spot on.”

The sound of relentless waves crashing came from outside the window.

“Goodness, why did you get angry?”

“Where was that place? I want to go too.”

Then another cinematographer threw out a comment while chewing on corn, acting completely disinterested.

“Director Choi, you still don’t get it? From the moment we pick up a camera, our whole life is just chaos.”

Then he picked up the remote and turned on the TV.

“Ah, why turn on the TV when the mood’s so good.”

Director No turned on the NBS awards ceremony.

“No, don’t!”

I’d been quietly listening to the conversation when I snatched the remote from the director.

Inside the screen, the awards ceremony was unfolding in real time.

Everyone in the dorm fixed their eyes on the TV.

“The NBS Acting Awards Best Actress winner is!”

“Oh, is this that thing?”

People’s eyes went wide.

Jang Heeyeong sunbaenim grinned like he was enjoying himself.

“Perfect timing. Our lead’s coming on!”

“Palace Flower’ Song Sunim. Han Sena-ssi! Congratulations!”

Right on cue, Chaeseong-ssi popped champagne the moment the host finished speaking.

People laughed heartily at the cheerful popping sound and raised their glasses.

“Congratulations, Sena-ssi!”

“Congratulations!”

My face burned hot.

“Hey hey, the real highlight’s coming now. Focus, focus.”

“Best Actress winner Han Sena-ssi is currently filming her next project in a remote location, so she’s prepared her acceptance speech via video for our viewers. Let’s watch together!”

The awards ceremony screen switched to my selfie camera video.

“Ahhh! Please no!”

My wail echoed through the dorm living room.

In the video, I wore an elegant gray chiffon dress with an awkward smile on my face.

The shabby wallpaper background clashing with my outfit made me look even more ridiculous.

That was the neatest spot I could barely find on set.

The actors and staff beside me burst into laughter.

The me in the video opened my mouth with a slightly flushed face.

“Hello, I’m Han Sena. Please understand that I can only express my gratitude through video. Still, I tried to capture that year-end awards ceremony feeling by wearing a dress here on this deserted island… Do I look okay?”

Watching it, even I let out a hollow laugh.

Isn’t this getting preserved as my dark history?

“Wow, Han Sena’s a real pro.”

Jang Heeyeong sunbaenim, who’d teased me the most on the day we filmed this, applauded.

It had been Minyeong unnie’s strong insistence that I had to wear a dress even for the acceptance speech video.

‘Of course you have to wear it! What, you’re just going to wear anything for your acceptance speech? Even so, it’s a Best Actress award—is that really okay? And do you know how hard I worked to get this dress here?!’

That last line was probably unnie’s true feelings.

Minyeong unnie, who’d been especially passionate about dress selection this year, had collapsed when attending the ceremony became impossible.

Seeing unnie like that, I squeezed my eyes shut and decided to wear the dress.

My regulars will probably like it too…

“2014 was truly a golden year for me. Since last year, I’ve been living with thoughts of nothing but this project… I’m most honored to have been able to portray the wonderful person that is Song Sunim.”

In the video, my expression was gradually becoming more composed.

Seeing myself on the big screen felt strange.

It had been a while since I’d thought of Sunim’s face.

“I’m still not confident that I’m the right person to represent Sunim’s face. So above all else, this award isn’t one I’m receiving alone. I want to express my gratitude to everyone who participated in this project. So many people put such care into creating Sunim and embracing her warmly—it’s been a warm year. Thank you.”

I wanted to convey my gratitude to Sunim too.

I wonder how she’s doing now.

“Yes, we heard your acceptance speech well. We hope your filming wraps up successfully, and congratulations once again.”

People who’d been watching offered their congratulations one by one.

“Congratulations again, Sena-ssi.”

“You said you’re turning twenty-six after the new year, right? Wow, Best Actress at that age.”

“Let’s work together often from now on, Sena-ssi!”

“Thank you all so much.”

That’s when the TV screen briefly switched to the scene in front of Bosingak.

“Now, we’re showing you the Bosingak scene. Ten seconds left! 7, 6, 5…”

People gathered in the living room cheerfully called out the countdown.

“3, 2, 1! Happy New Year!!”

“Happy New Year, everyone!”

Clear bell sounds flowed from the TV.