In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 75

After filming wrapped, back in Seoul.

I sat there like a dead weight next to Minyeong unnie, who was busy as usual in the office, spacing out completely.

“Hey, you’re so loud. If you’re going to be like that, just go home.”

“…I haven’t said a word.”

My phone buzzed with a text notification.

-Sena-ssi, filming wrapped successfully? We hit 150,000 viewers on opening day!

A text came flying in from Director Hwangbo Jaejoon.

-Congratulations, Director!

-You too, Sena-ssi! Did you see the articles? Everyone’s going crazy. Saying your acting is amazing lolol. Other directors are asking me to introduce them to you too.

The director kept heaping praise on me like always.

-The trailer got great reactions too. I hope this controversy wraps up nicely too.

He was talking about the <Desert Island> trailer that Netmate had strategically released on its platform the day before yesterday.

Normally trailers run anywhere from one minute to maybe two minutes max, but Netmate went big and dropped a full ten-minute version.

‘Usually trailers get released in second and third installments, but we’re doing just one ten-minute preview drop. This is our way of responding to the controversy. Don’t worry, Sena-ssi.’

That was the call I’d gotten from the person in charge a few days before the trailer dropped.

Responding to the controversy—I’d wondered what that meant, but the moment I watched the trailer, that confusion turned to shock.

The video opened by diving through the camcorder lens into the drama, showing four or five different episode scenes in succession.

Within those, a pretty long segment of me going head-to-head with Kwon Jaehyung in an intense psychological thriller sequence flowed out.

As the closing scene, no less.

That scene was not only Chaeseong-ssi’s favorite from filming, but also a major part of the drama.

I’d thought, ‘Should they really reveal such a crucial scene in advance?’ seeing this fairly unprecedented approach…

-The production values definitely show when you throw more money at it. Can’t wait to watch.

-Han Sena’s insane. Seriously unmatched in terms of acting. Han Sena is hands down the top among actresses in their twenties for pure skill.

-Looks like Han Sena’s going to come off even crazier than Kwon Jaehyung. What the hell.

-Still doesn’t excuse the nepotism though. Everyone needs to reflect.

Of course, people trashing me were still around.

But I felt the atmosphere shift suddenly.

Reading through the comments gave me that impression.

Maybe Netmate had more faith in me—and in the actors—than I had in myself.

The video felt like a strategy to drown out controversy with pure acting skill.

People’s focus was genuinely shifting from external ‘controversy’ to the ‘acting’ itself.

‘No wonder major capital flows to places like this.’

The production team must have spent days and nights in meetings over this trailer.

I closed out the director’s text and pulled up articles about <Private Life>.

I’d been deliberately avoiding them.

The moment I scrolled down to the comments section, my name kept jumping out at me.

My palms suddenly got sweaty.

-Sick of the same old melodrama. This stalker story feels fresh.

-Can’t tell who the real lead is between Kwon Jaehyung and Han Sena. Her acting’s terrifying.

-Everyone, Han Sena was only in SIX CUTS in this video. She literally devoured the whole film in six cuts.

-Honestly at this level, makes sense why the director and senior actors would all adore her. Who wouldn’t want to get close to someone this talented.

-Watched the movie today then the Desert Island trailer. Controversy aside, I’m now a Han Sena fan.

The negative perceptions about me had noticeably faded.

Even more so than in the Desert Island trailer comments.

I kept reading with a slightly stunned expression…

“Looking at comments?”

Minyeong unnie asked.

“Yeah. This is wild…”

“Changes fast, doesn’t it? Different yesterday, different today. Tomorrow will be different again. That’s how this industry always works.”

Unnie spoke casually, like she’d already seen it all.

“You’re right, thinking about it now.”

“That’s why I keep telling you not to stress about it. The more you focus on the acting you want to do, the more people will focus on that too.”

Hearing those words, I nodded.

I turned off the screen and put my phone down.

“By the way, what are you wearing for the Hanho dress?”

“Oh, the dress.”

[Hanho Arts Awards Nominees Announced by Category]

Last night, articles about the Hanho Arts Awards nominees went up.

As if timed perfectly, Director Hwangbo Jaejoon’s <Private Life> opened, my controversy died down, and Hanho immediately announced the Best Actress candidates.

“Who knows… Think I’ll actually win again?”

It had already been a year since I’d won Rookie of the Year at Hanho.

This year’s announcement timing had been unusually delayed.

Hanho was probably watching to see how my controversy played out.

Palace Flower was nominated in three categories—not just Best Actress but also Best Drama, plus the Grand Prize that Won Hyerim sunbaenim was nominated for.

Unnie shrugged like she had no idea.

“Awards aren’t up to the person receiving them. They’re up to the people giving them.”

True enough.

Whether I won or not, it was all something to be grateful for.

I sank deep into the sofa.

Even after resting a few days, I felt constantly exhausted somehow.

I could almost hear the distant sound of waves crashing in my ears like an illusion.

“You’re tired. Spending weeks on that island in the freezing cold.”

Unnie clicked her tongue while looking at me.

“I guess so.”

Unnie clicked her tongue again at my response.

“What do you mean ‘I guess so.’ It can’t just be from filming, right? You’ve been dealing with noise from every direction this whole time.”

I didn’t respond to unnie’s words.

Seriously, the articles, the comments, all the contacts from every direction—they’d completely drained me.

At home or out, everyone only talked to me about ‘that controversy.’

Everyone showed me worry before even greeting me.

Even Mom and Dad, knocking on my door each morning with increasingly careful hands.

‘Sena, should I bring food to your room?’

At the supermarket in front of our place too.

‘Hang in there, Sena-ssi. Desert Island was really fun.’

Even going to the gym to work out.

‘Work out hard and get gorgeous, then really crush Heo Sojin’s pride, seriously.’

I didn’t really need to crush Heo Sojin’s pride or anything.

I was exhausted.

“So what dress are you wearing?”

I squeezed my eyes shut tight.

Unnie turned off her computer and stood up.

“Let’s go. I made an appointment at the fitting shop.”

* * *

Hongmae-hwa hanbok designer brand flagship store.

“Why the sudden hanbok obsession?”

Minyeong unnie whispered quietly so no one else could hear.

“I was the female lead of a pretty good sageuk, so commemorating it like this is nice, don’t you think?”

Hearing my answer, unnie shook her head firmly.

“This is way too over the top. Even more than that awards ceremony video last time!”

Hearing that made me laugh.

Unnie had a point to some degree.

Still, thinking that this awards ceremony would mark the end of my Palace Flower journey, I wanted to commemorate it in my own special way.

A little over-the-top was fine.

This was time that would never come back.

That’s when the designer appeared carrying a thick sketchbook.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. Let’s take a look.”

The kind designer had rushed out barefoot to greet us despite our suddenly scheduled visit.

A woman who looked to be in her early forties, with a meticulous impression contrasting with her gentle voice.

Song Hongmae.

She’d soon make a global name for herself by branding modern-designed hanbok.

I recalled the Hongmae-hwa photoshoots from my past life featuring top domestic and international stars.

Such original, breathtakingly beautiful photographs.

This place would eventually collaborate with famous foreign fashion brands and even receive a Ministry of Culture commendation.

Before opening the sketchbook, I conveyed my apologies first.

“The thing is, the awards ceremony is the first week of March, so there’s only a month.”

At that, the designer put on her horn-rimmed glasses and spoke decisively.

“A month is plenty.”

“Ah…”

“Our hanbok is going to the Hanho Arts Awards—we need to make sure it’s done right. Lots of people will be watching.”

Saying that, the designer spread open the sketchbook smoothly.

“These are hanbok dress designs I’ve been stockpiling because I haven’t had a chance to showcase them. I’m not sure if you’ll find something you like.”

Page by page, the sketches began unfolding.

From the very first page, admiration naturally escaped me.

The dresses rendered in pencil and watercolor were so beautiful.

Designs that transcended the boundaries between traditional and modern while highlighting their distinct lines.

The designer’s aesthetic contemplation was clearly embedded deep within each piece.

“Oh…?”

Even Minyeong unnie, who’d been looking at the sketches with obvious skepticism, widened her eyes.

“How on earth did you even find this place?”

Minyeong unnie whispered to me again.

I deliberately ignored her, pretending not to hear.

Meanwhile, the designer kept turning pages in the sketchbook.

After quite some time, as the thick pages neared their end.

“…And this is the last dress.”

Both Minyeong unnie and I simultaneously held our breath while staring at that sketch.

A voluminous yet delicate skirt emphasizing feminine lines, a short jacket that clung tightly while covering the arms.

The separated top and bottom looked like a single unified dress.

Despite having no special decorations or patterns, the dress didn’t feel plain at all.

The feeling of being full precisely by being empty.

The dress, which held an overall pale blue tint, looked like it had been made from ground pearls.

“…It’s, gorgeous.”

The fact that such a beautiful work could only elicit such a cheap adjective from my mouth.

“It looks like a celestial maiden’s robes. Like clothes Heaven gifted to a specially favored human.”

Minyeong unnie’s assessment was slightly better.

The designer smiled as if she’d expected this reaction.

“I spent a long time contemplating this piece. I’ve treasured it enough to wonder who would wear it, and it seems it’ll be you, Sena-ssi.”

Hearing that made me feel slightly burdened.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to wear it?”

“Of course, it would be an honor. You’re also giving me the opportunity to create this dress.”

The designer gestured for us to follow and headed toward where the fabrics were kept.

Minyeong unnie drifted after her first, as if entranced.

* * *

First week of February.

Online, news broke that <Private Life> had surpassed 5 million viewers in just three weeks.

Riding that momentum, anticipation for <Desert Island> was also intensifying.

And finally, today.

“Ugh, I’m so nervous.”

I opened my laptop and went to the Netmate site.

The <Desert Island> trailer was playing prominently on the main screen.

Netmate boldly dropped all episodes at once.

Desert Island climbed the real-time trending searches.

Somehow, I found it hard to click on the related articles.

[The Troubled Netmate ‘Desert Island’ Suddenly Released]

[Will Netmate’s Desperate Plea to Not Be ‘Stranded on Attention Island’ Be Fulfilled?]

[Public Evaluation of Desert Island…]

“These headlines are certainly flashy.”

After getting burned badly by mass media once, everything felt scary now in its own way.

I squeezed my eyes shut and randomly clicked an article link.

– The actors are insane. Every single character is amazing. Why is Jang Soyeong so relatable? Reminds me of my trash ex-boyfriend.

– This exam retaker is crying watching Kim Mingyeong. So heartbreaking. Don’t die.

– I’m a breadwinner in my fifties. Watching actress Jang Heeyeong’s performance makes my heart ache. Fighting to all breadwinners in Korea.

– Reading through the comments, feels like the director embedded the concerns of each age group into the characters. Impressive. Heard it’s his directorial debut.

– Why isn’t Lee Seokhyun in this nepotism drama? Did Han Sena and Lee Seokhyun fight or something? Lolol

The controversy-related comments had almost completely disappeared.

Everything was about the drama content and characters.

Should I check the fan cafe too?

And the moment I entered, the first thing that caught my eye…