In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 8

Kim Eunseo delivered her passionate performance under the pin spotlight falling on her head.

Hamlet! What are you trying to do to your mother? Will you kill your mother? Oh, help, someone!

As expected, she’s not very good.

The moment I watched Kim Eunseo’s overly tense acting, the flaws caught my eye first.

Kim Eunseo was definitely pretty, and she fit the Gertrude setting of “a woman beautiful enough that Claudius would kill his brother to possess her.”

But her acting lacked the impact her face had.

Kim Eunseo was busy emphasizing the accent of her lines, and those lines carried an indefinable impatience.

The practice showed through clearly.

I could see the movements and tonal changes that seemed like they’d been written down one by one in a notebook.

She looked desperate.

Kim Eunseo seemed to desperately want to do well right now.

However, at least as far as I knew, Gertrude was a woman who remarried her husband’s brother a month after his death to maintain her position, and various perspectives existed toward her.

Among those diverse aspects, Gertrude’s core keywords were ambiguity or duality.

She needed to bring out the character’s traits while giving the audience room for interpretation…

Ah! What about me?

Kim Eunseo’s acting leaned toward not knowing Gertrude herself.

Sometimes passive and weak, sometimes suddenly venomous… there was no breathing to speak of.

It would have been better than this if we’d at least practiced matching together…

The lights went dark.

It was Ophelia’s turn.

I shook off the stray thoughts and steadied my mind.

I walked toward the front of the stage.

* * *

The pin spotlight fell on Han Sena’s head.

From backstage, Kim Eunseo watched with a crooked sneer.

How well could she possibly do?

The audience was full of restless movements.

Light coughs and vibration sounds, rustling movements…

Among them, Han Sena closed her eyes and gathered her emotions.

Ophelia, wearing a harmlessly radiant smile, clasped her hands together and held them before her chest.

That smile carried a somehow sad contemplation.

Ophelia began to sing.

The language of this rosemary is for remembrance. Please, do not forget me.

Ophelia approached the king, visible as a faint silhouette in the darkness, and offered something with a gentle touch.

For you, this fennel.

But there was nothing in Ophelia’s hands.

Ophelia also approached Queen Gertrude and offered an invisible flower.

As if carefully handing over one truly delicate flower, she cautiously pinched the empty air with her fingers.

For you, I’ll give this flower of repentance.

Ophelia’s delicate gestures held a tragic beauty.

Ophelia, who had been singing the flower meanings, calmly continued the lyrics.

…They say Father sleeps quietly.

Will he not return again? Will he never return?

No, no. He’s gone forever.

God, have mercy on his soul.

Having finished her prayer, Ophelia walked toward the boat with graceful yet unstable movements.

The boat was propped diagonally on stage.

Ophelia climbed into the boat, grasped her skirt hem, and spread it wide.

The rustling sound of her skirt dragging against the boat was sad.

Ophelia slowly lowered her head.

And I wish you all happiness. Farewell.

Ophelia gradually laid her body down inside the boat.

Ophelia’s farewell to the world was kind and gentle.

The lights slowly went dark.

After Han Sena’s exit, the audience fell silent as death.

As if everyone had forgotten to breathe from Han Sena’s gentle charisma that depicted the protagonist’s deep sorrow, fragility, elegance, and madness.

Everyone maintained the silence as if by agreement.

Several audience members wiped away tears, immersed in the lingering impression Han Sena left behind.

Sniffling sounds could be heard here and there throughout the audience.

Professor Lee Seongjin, who sat in one corner of the audience watching Ophelia’s performance, also couldn’t help but admire inwardly.

‘This isn’t the Han Sena I knew.’

Han Sena’s Ophelia looked somehow different from the acting he’d been watching consistently.

Before, the actress appeared before the role because of the performer’s own greed, but now only the character itself remained on stage with all the excess stripped away.

Even students notorious for excelling in the field often appeared as mere amateurs when he actually watched them up close, just like Han Sena who’d passed that major audition.

But this time…

‘Can someone grow this much in such a short period?’

Breathing, interpretation, creativity, control, stage presence—not a single aspect was lacking…

She’d always belonged among the talented students, but now she overlapped with the image of a professional actor with considerable experience.

No matter how expensive the tutoring or special training, there should be limits to what could change.

‘How did she do it, that child?’

It was impossible to act as if her soul had changed in the short time between preparing for the audition.

Professor Lee Seongjin stroked his chin.

While everyone’s attention and interest focused on Han Sena like this, a problem arose for Kim Eunseo, who reappeared on stage.

Gertrude, overwhelmed by Han Sena, forgot her lines.

‘When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions. Laertes, your sister has drowned.’

These were the words Gertrude should have delivered.

Kim Eunseo, who needed to convey Ophelia’s death, stood flustered with a flushed face, only chewing her lips.

The opposite actor also stared at Kim Eunseo, completely rigid.

As silence continued on stage with Kim Eunseo’s entrance, the audience began to murmur.

“Did she forget her lines?”

“What’s she trying to do, just standing there like that…?”

On stage, the thoroughly flustered Kim Eunseo stood completely frozen while receiving all the stares focused on her.

* * *

“What is she doing just standing there…”

Thump, my heart sank.

The thing I’d worried about finally happened.

Kim Eunseo clutched her skirt hem and kept staring at the audience with unstable, wavering eyes.

From backstage, my heart constricted even more watching that Kim Eunseo.

I quietly steadied my voice.

And opened my mouth.

“When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions. Laertes, your sister has drowned.”

I calmly lowered my voice and delivered the next line just loud enough for Kim Eunseo to hear.

Kim Eunseo, who’d been standing on stage, looked over here in surprise.

Her mind was probably completely blank.

I met Kim Eunseo’s eyes once more and delivered the line clearly, word by word.

“When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.”

Since it was a script I’d held onto all week, all the lines were already memorized whole in my head.

Only then did Kim Eunseo seem to come to her senses and delivered her line while looking at the opposite actor.

“When sorrows come… they come not single spies, but in battalions. Laertes, your sister has drowned.”

The opposite actor then recited the next line, seemingly relieved.

After that, the tense atmosphere continued for a while as the play headed toward its conclusion.

Kim Eunseo’s nervous acting was so stiff it made even the viewers anxious.

I just watched the stage until the end, hoping there would be no more mistakes.

Time passed without me knowing how, and the stage ended.

The curtain fell, and I went up on stage with the team members and bowed toward the audience.

As we took turns bowing one by one, when my turn came, an unexpected standing ovation poured out.

Most people stood up from their seats and sent applause.

The crowd’s cheers filled the small performance hall.

“As expected from Han Sena! The best!”

“Ophelia!!”

As I looked around in complete bewilderment, the team members were also sending applause together.

Kim Eunseo was also sending me applause with a complex expression.

Unable to grasp the situation… I bowed toward the audience once more.

Suddenly my nose tingled.

Even though it was just a university final exam play, my heart swelled.

In that moment, I felt it again.

‘I’ve wanted this moment.’

I wanted to act.

In a form that wasn’t villainous, with diverse faces.

I wanted to receive new applause from people every time, like now.

I waved both hands to the people while smiling a happy, beaming smile.

I bowed toward the audience seats several times.

After finishing the play like that, at the department room.

Before going to the after-party, I was leaning against the wall, catching my breath for a moment.

This department room after 20 years too, truly nostalgic.

“Phew…”

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment.

Since I’d been tense over various matters, my strength drained completely.

But the more I thought about it, the stranger it was.

In my previous life, though I didn’t remember Kim Eunseo well, she’d never made mistakes on stages we stood on together.

It was an odd variable.

Why did she suddenly do that…?

Then the door opened and Kim Eunseo came in.

Kim Eunseo clamped her mouth shut and stood there for a long time, just staring at my face without saying anything.

“What.”

Even after I addressed Kim Eunseo, no answer came back for quite a while.

“Why are you looking at me so scary? My heart’s weak.”

At my words, Kim Eunseo finally spoke.

“I’ll apologize for what happened before. And thanks for today too.”

It was a characteristically curt, sharp tone typical of Kim Eunseo.

A laugh escaped me.

“Why are you laughing when someone’s apologizing?”

Kim Eunseo’s eyes sharpened.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about or thankful for. I went a bit overboard in that classroom too, and today’s thing was something I naturally had to help with since we’re a team.”

At my words, Kim Eunseo hesitated for a moment, then answered again.

“I hate to admit it, but you were good. Good enough to make me panic and forget my lines.”

Huh?

Suddenly Kim Eunseo’s attitude and voice had changed to seem like a different person.

“Congratulations on passing the audition. The reason I went around badmouthing you… I was jealous. Seeing you today… you deserved to pass.”

Listening to what Kim Eunseo said, I was at a loss for words.

I never thought she’d lower her pride like this.

“I failed Flat Shoes but passed an audition for another work.”

“…?”

“You’re the first person I’m telling. I wanted to do Flat Shoes, but this time too, it was a role that needed a pretty face.”

I quietly stared at Kim Eunseo.

“I’m sick of hearing I’m pretty. No, now I’m scared of it. It feels like I’m a person with nothing worthwhile besides my face.”

Not knowing what to say to her, I just watched carefully…

Kim Eunseo continued speaking.

“I’m going to work hard, practice like crazy, and not hear people say I’m a bad actress. I’m going to build a filmography I want, not roles that just need a face.”

“…That’s the same plan as mine.”

At my answer, Kim Eunseo’s eyes wavered.

“I’m exactly the same as you. I want to become an actress who can land the roles I want.”

I added more words.

Then Kim Eunseo nodded.

A brief silence flowed.

“Well then. See you again later.”

Leaving those words, Kim Eunseo opened the door and left again.

Left alone in the department room again, I stared at the spot where Kim Eunseo had been standing.