In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 88

The scene continued immediately after.

With my emotions calmed, I knocked on Bella’s door.

I tried to open it, but it was locked.

My expression hardened slightly again.

“Bella?”

“I don’t really feel like talking right now.”

“I understand how you feel, but now’s when we need to talk.”

Bella stomped over and swung the door open.

“Do I have to listen to Mom this time too?”

I looked into Bella’s eyes, filled with anger toward me.

Those eyes could’ve wounded me.

For Emily, Bella meant more than I could imagine.

A mother who’d been adopted, now adopting a daughter.

But Bella found Emily’s love overwhelming.

The two kept growing twisted.

Enough to frighten Emily.

“Didn’t you want to go to math tutoring?”

“I told you yesterday.”

“So what was the conclusion yesterday? Didn’t we agree to think about it together a bit more?”

Bella fell silent.

“Mom was worried. When I got the call that you suddenly disappeared, I was so flustered. If you change your plans without any contact like this…”

“I came home, didn’t I?”

Bella cut off my words and answered.

I gradually started getting heated.

This was the first time I’d been drawn into emotions this way.

I deliberately cooled my head.

There could be a reason she was suddenly acting like this after just one day.

I asked calmly again.

“Did something happen?”

At my question, Bella’s expression shifted subtly.

“No.”

That can’t be true.

Even in the script, Bella had been bullied by her friends and lied to Emily multiple times.

“Are the kids bothering you?”

“…”

“Are you hiding something from Mom?”

“Please! Is that always the conclusion? I’m sick of this, seriously.”

Bella pushed me out the door and slammed it shut again.

I felt hurt.

Angry at the child while simultaneously seeing that the child was wounded.

All those emotions were captured in Chloe’s eyes.

That’s when Sean, who’d returned home at some point, came upstairs.

Holding a rag he’d used to wipe water stains scattered around.

Sean saw my expression and silently approached to embrace me.

“Cut, okay!”

The moment the director’s okay sign dropped, Chloe rushed over and hugged me.

Almost like acting spoiled.

Even knowing it was acting, Chloe’s emotions must have been worn down in that moment too.

Seeing Chloe endure that made me feel proud, so I stroked her head.

“Great start, isn’t it?”

The assistant director said while flipping through the scene list.

I still felt a bit bewildered inside.

I’d almost never surrendered myself this completely to the emotional flow emerging on set.

It felt like a massive wave had rushed in and then instantly receded.

“Want to watch?”

The director gestured to me and pointed at the monitor.

I went and stood in front of that monitor.

My appearance standing before the door Bella had closed looked truly unfamiliar.

I really do look wounded.

And so angry…

All my emotions seemed to be breathing with life.

Even more than when I’d possessed the script and auditioned.

“Let’s keep going like this.”

I nodded at the director’s words.

* * *

The living room sofa, after Bella left for school.

I sat with my arms crossed, wearing a serious expression.

“Not even a reply. Maybe she wants to deny the fact that I’m her daughter.”

I spoke while looking at Sean sitting beside me.

Sean grabbed my worried shoulders.

“You already have a good mother. You can stop without getting hurt more.”

“This is for Bella. I feel like the reason we keep clashing is because I don’t know what a real mother is.”

Sean’s brow furrowed as if he couldn’t understand.

“What are you talking about?”

“Bella’s been trying not to talk to me lately.”

“Emily, that’s just her age…”

“No, it’s not. You don’t understand. I need a different approach. This won’t work. Should we move? To Koreatown? Near my parents?”

“Emily! Please, calm down.”

Sean finally raised his voice.

I looked at Sean, startled.

Sean had never raised his voice at Emily before.

Sean, startled himself, quickly recovered.

“I wasn’t trying to yell. Emily, your worries are going overboard.”

“I’m… wearing you out too.”

Sean heard my words and ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Emily, I’m not worn out—I’m frustrated. Not every mother in the world who loves her daughter acts like this.”

I sighed at Sean’s words.

As if acknowledging it.

I spoke quietly to Sean.

“It’s because I never experienced conflict with my mother.”

“…”

“My birth mother abandoned me, and the mother who adopted me was too good a person. Such a good mother that we never had big fights.”

“Then you must’ve been a good daughter.”

“Whatever the case, I’m anxious. Bella and I aren’t connected…”

I lowered my head.

The thing called family, connected densely by blood.

That was something Emily didn’t have.

So conflict within family could only make Emily anxious.

Because she kept thinking it could be severed at any moment, like thread with scissors pressed against it.

I clenched both hands resting on my knees.

* * *

“Cut, okay!”

Day two of filming.

When we completed today’s final scene in one take, the staff smiled brightly.

“Sena, your chemistry with Sean is surprisingly incredible?”

The director offered praise.

“You two really seem like a married couple. How should I put it—the screen shows how much Emily relies on Sean normally. Which makes Sean’s dependability come through well too.”

The director explained with a satisfied expression.

I smiled and looked at Aiden.

“I actually ended up relying on Aiden without realizing it.”

At that, Aiden smiled with a puzzled expression.

Then said quietly.

“Shall we head out?”

* * *

A small pub about thirty minutes from the set.

Since the day we started the reading, I’d been exploring various neighborhoods with Aiden after finishing each day’s work.

Mainly small outlying towns far from Koreatown.

Whenever I walked the streets, people would glance at me.

Because they rarely saw unfamiliar Asians.

I was deliberately exposing myself to those stares.

Without stopping those stares but feeling them sensitively, I felt I could grasp Emily’s state of mind.

A desire to reach the character even a little more, I suppose.

Even now in this small pub, people at other tables were sneaking glances our way.

Aiden, who’d ordered two martinis, asked.

“Was my emotion too much in that last scene?”

After filming all day, we were immediately back to discussing acting.

Aiden was quite the passionate actor himself.

I smiled and shook my head at that question.

“Honestly, it felt hurtful for a moment.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Enough to feel betrayed.”

Sean laughed brightly at my answer.

If the next table heard this conversation, it would sound bizarre.

We continued discussing the work for quite a while, drinking away.

Talk about roles, handling sight lines, dialogue, script content, and more.

Meeting a colleague who understood me so well after so long made me feel energized as we continued our discussion.

“Come to think of it, Sena, somehow we ended up cramming all the big conflict scenes together at the beginning.”

I nodded at Aiden’s words.

“That’s why I’m feeling a bit more tense.”

“You were doing great though.”

About two hours passed like that.

Aiden asked a question unrelated to the work.

“Your media’s pretty noisy too, right?”

I smiled at that question as if it was nothing.

“It’s not a big deal. Stories that’ll cool down soon.”

“Still bothers you?”

I didn’t answer and just drank my remaining alcohol.

Aiden nodded as if he understood.

“How could it not bother you? The director’s concerned too.”

“Really…?”

Slightly surprised, I stopped fidgeting with my glass.

“Well, it’s a project with two actors who refused Warners. He said his work’s never gotten this kind of attention before, and he’s feeling the pressure.”

“Ah…”

That was an unexpected angle.

Come to think of it, Aiden had said his agency deliberately released articles too.

To raise both the actor’s value and expectations for <Hometown>.

Now the casting seemed to be drawing attention not just in Korea but in America too.

For me, having deliberately avoided the internet for a few days, this was new information.

The reason I’d briefly disconnected from the internet was…

Because the comments kept refusing to fade from my mind.

-What’s so great about this Hometown thing? Two lead actors ditched Warners for it.

-Low-budget art film? Lolol. Never heard of the director either.

-Let’s see how well it does.

-Wonder if it’ll even screen in our country.

Just as my mood was sinking slightly, Aiden spoke.

“But the director said he’ll just do what he’s always done.”

I chuckled at those words.

“Yeah, that’s what I want.”

“Me too.”

“Should we get going?”

Aiden and I set down our glasses and stood up.

After settling the bill and stepping outside…

“Huh?”

In the distance, I could see dark clouds filling the black night sky.

The weather looked ominous, like a downpour was about to hit.

Aiden wore a worried expression.

“Tomorrow’s a really important scene.”

“I know. The script even says it’s a rainy day. But this doesn’t look like ordinary rain…”

Crash—

Thunder massive enough to shake the ground struck.

We both simultaneously fell silent and blinked.

I have a bad feeling about this.

* * *

The next morning.

Rain poured across the entire city, so heavy you couldn’t see ahead.

With occasional thunder and lightning as a bonus.

Why are bad premonitions never wrong?

Jinseok oppa, who’d flown to America, gripped the steering wheel.

After briefly looking pleased to see him, he clicked his tongue.

“You seriously think we can film in this? Haven’t gotten any calls?”

“No.”

“Someone could get struck by lightning and die, seriously.”

We plowed through the rain toward the filming location.

The road to the outdoor set was treacherous too, and when we finally arrived, chaos reigned at the set.

Staff members with deeply troubled expressions gathered in small groups, each shaking their heads.

They’re really filming…? In this weather?

Suddenly memories of filming <Desert Island> flooded back like a nightmare.

On the other hand, if we could just utilize this well like back then, something amazing might come out…

Lightning flashed right before my eyes.

Then three seconds later, thunder that seemed ready to swallow my eardrums struck.

Together with that thunder, Director Raymond appeared.

His face was resolute, like a soldier heading to war.

The director in his raincoat glared at the set.

The staff and I all stared at the director with question marks on our faces.

Not just the sound director, but the art director and cinematographer too—everyone was in a state of panic.

After a brief silence, the director opened his mouth.

“Let’s shoot.”