The Male Lead Is Obsessed With My Health Chapter 12

“Mom, Mom, do you love me?”

One day, a question I suddenly tossed out.

I asked while pretending to be fine, pretending it was nothing, pretending to be indifferent, pretending to joke, pretending it just popped into my head, and I laughed foolishly—but inside, I was nervous, not knowing what answer I would hear.

I think I was scared.

I had swallowed the question over and over because I couldn’t bring myself to ask it, but that day, I couldn’t overcome the impulse.

It would be more accurate to say my mouth moved on its own.

‘What if Mom thinks I’m strange?’

That thought only lasted a moment.

Mom, who had been glancing at me, replied casually.

“Why are you asking something like that all of a sudden?”

“Just curious.”

“What parent doesn’t love their child? Everyone loves their kids.”

“I see.”

“If you have time to ask things like that, practice some more. The competition isn’t far off.”

“Okay. I will.”

Even as I accepted her scolding, I quietly questioned it, unsatisfied with the answer I’d heard.

“So… you do love me, right?”

“What did you think I just said?”

“Hehe.”

“Instead of thinking about useless things like that, practice more.”

“Hehe. Okay.”

I remember smiling and picking up my bow even under that pitiful look.
Mom does love me, after all. That was what I thought in that moment.

But Mom.

Why does it feel like you don’t love me?

****

No matter how often people said Mehen was a cold-blooded person with ice instead of blood, Mehen was still a human made of flesh and blood.

There was no way she could feel nothing for Arellin, whom she had raised with her own hands since infancy.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m right here.”

It was just that affection wasn’t necessary when taking care of a child.

It wasn’t important.

After all, he was someone whose position could change at any time…….

That was why she had kept her distance.

She had only cut off situations in advance that could make things hard for both of them.

“Hic…….”

But if she had known it would turn out like this, she would have quit long ago.

The softly trembling body was far too light.

The body she held after so long felt as if time hadn’t passed at all. Still small, still light.

‘Why is he so small?’

She hadn’t noticed because it had been so long since she’d held him.

After the caregiving team was formed and she handed everything over, she really only saw him once in a while.

She knew she wasn’t a great caregiver, but she had believed she was at least one who provided everything necessary.

Was she wrong?

She didn’t know. Children were always difficult. They didn’t show clear results like business, nor did they require quick decisions.

‘He needs to eat more to gain some weight.’

Thinking of Arellin, who could never get past three bites no matter what he ate, Mehen clicked her tongue.

Even so, the body that had been seizing from time to time slowly began to calm down in the familiar warmth.

“Mom…….”

The child’s small hand wandered through the air, then tightly grabbed Mehen’s clothes.

“Mom…….”

Did he miss his mom that much?

His voice was so full of sorrow that Mehen found herself missing a mother she herself had never even seen.

The hand reaching into empty space caught her eye, and when she grabbed it without thinking, the child’s sobbing subsided.

“……Mom.”

“I’m Mehen.”

“Mom…….”

“Yes, what does a title even matter? Call me whatever you want.”

He must not be in his right mind from the pain. What was the point of correcting him?

After giving him the medicine the doctor brought, placing the towel from the caregiving team on his forehead, and holding him so his body temperature wouldn’t drop, Mehen wondered what she was even doing right now.

Why was she doing this? She had hundreds of tasks piled up.

And yet.

“Mom…….”

She didn’t regret it.

Even though today’s postponed work would come back tomorrow multiplied dozens of times, she didn’t feel like leaving this place.

“Mom…….”

Was it because there were so many nights she couldn’t sleep anyway? She didn’t know.

The caregiving team, who had lost their roles, moved around cautiously, but Mehen didn’t even have the spare attention to care about others.

The long, exhausting night passed.

Cutting through the darkness, the dawn light announcing morning illuminated the sky.

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

The beginning of an old nightmare is always the same.
A grand piano left standing all alone.

When I closed my eyes, I could smell the resin scent I’d grown sick of. And when I opened them again, a violin and bow were already in my hands.

Then—click—the lights turned on, and the scenery changed.

A grand hall.

The seats that should have been packed with an audience were empty, and at the judges’ table sat only one person, elegantly poised.

Mom.

“Mom wants our daughter to become…….”

Mom was a beautiful person.

It wasn’t a distorted, sorrowful kind of praise like a child idolizing their mother.

Mom was beautiful and talented, and I was a daughter who seemed to have inherited all of that perfectly.

“Mom believes in our daughter.”

Yes, a daughter who had inherited all of your talent.

“Mom believes you can fulfill Mom’s dream.”

“I believe.”

“You can do it, right?”

A piano without an accompanist began to play. Familiar music echoed through the hall. Memories I had stopped and tried to forget came rushing back all at once.

I couldn’t lift my bow.

On a stage where only the piano accompaniment rang out, missing the notes the strings were supposed to fill, I just stood there, unable to do anything.

Staring at only one person.

“Mom…….”

She was too far away.

So far that I couldn’t even see what kind of expression Mom was making. I couldn’t tell.

“Mom…….”

Why did you do that to me? What was I to you? Did you love me at all?

Do you still love me?

The words I couldn’t bring myself to ask were still piled up inside me. Unresolved feelings were knotted tightly within.

“Mom…….”

But before all of that—

Longing.

“Mom…….”

I missed you.

“Mom…….”

Are you leaving?

Are you going to leave me alone again?

“Mom, Mom…….”

Don’t go.

Don’t leave me alone.

“Mom…….”

Please.

Don’t leave me alone.

I had to say it—I had to tell you not to go—but my throat felt blocked tight, and no words would come out.

The only words that escaped were calls for Mom.

Is it happening again?

Am I losing you again?

Am I being left alone again?

In this cruel, terrible darkness, alone again…….

“Shh, it’s okay.”

That was when I heard it—a voice that was familiar, yet unfamiliar. A strange hand holding my outstretched one.

“Mom…….”

“Yeah, I won’t go. I’ll stay right here.”

Mom?

The hand patting my back was clumsy, but very gentle.

“Mom…….”

The hand holding mine was so warm, and the hand patting me was so, so gentle, that without realizing it, I think I relaxed.

For the first time since I started having this nightmare, I fell asleep peacefully.

And when I opened my eyes—

“……Huh.”

Mehen was in front of me.

 

 

****

 

 

 

“…….”

“…….”

Huh?

“…….”

“……Mom?”

Why is Mehen here?

“I’m not your mom.”

Maybe because it was someone I never expected to see, my brain froze.

“…….”

“…….”

A deathly silence. I tried to understand the situation.

Mehen holding me, and my hand gripping his clothes.

……Let’s stop figuring it out there.

“Are you feeling okay?”

A low, tired voice spoke. Even as he brushed back his hair, Mehen carefully and thoroughly checked my condition.

His long eyelashes and light green eyes reflected the sunlight streaming in, glowing gold.

Wow… he really is delicately handsome.

Maybe because fatigue softened his mood, the sharp impression I was used to felt dulled. It was a face I saw often, yet it felt different.

“Mom…….”

Did Mehen… stay with me the whole time?

Mehen flinched as he raised his hand to check the heat on my forehead.

“I’m a man.”

“Mom.”

“…….”

I thought it was Mom.

But it wasn’t again. Was I alone after all?

As tears welled up in my eyes, Mehen panicked. I wasn’t trying to trouble him on purpose.

It was just…….

It was just that things like this always broke me down.

“Your fever has gone down, at least…….”

Mehen glanced at my hand clutching his clothes, looking troubled, then let out a sigh.

“Mom, Mom…….”

Watching me repeat the same words like a broken record, Mehen frowned deeply.

“My lady.”

“Mom…….”

“Lady Arellin.”

“Mom…….”

“Haah.”

Mehen let out a deep sigh.

“All right. What does a title even matter? Call me whatever you want.”

That’s strange.

Why is he being this gentle?

The Mehen I know isn’t this kind. I thought he’d push me away, but instead he told me to call him whatever I wanted.

“Mom…….”

“…….”

He looks troubled, but he doesn’t push me away either. That felt so strange it made my throat tighten.

Why?

“Mehen, you don’t like me.”

“……I don’t dislike you.”

“You do.”

“I don’t disli—haah.”

Mehen made a frustrated face and roughly ran a hand through his hair.

“How could someone like me dislike you, my lady?”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

“You frowned.”

He froze.

“You said I was a nuisance.”

“…….”

“You wanted to get rid of me, didn’t you?”

Mehen’s brow furrowed. The hand reaching toward me hesitated. When I lifted my lowered gaze, my eyes met his.

As he slightly lowered his eyes, an emotion I couldn’t name surfaced in his light green pupils.

A slightly twisted expression, troubled eyes—and yet those green eyes trembled faintly, like they were hurt.

I had never seen Mehen make that kind of expression before.

“I was just…….”

This meticulous man couldn’t even deny my words and pressed his lips together, like a prisoner awaiting execution.

“Haah.”

A sigh full of distress.

I should be trying to be cute, yet here I am throwing a tantrum like this. I sighed at my own pettiness.

But if I was going to end up alone anyway, it was better to be alone from the start.

Even as I told myself that, I saw my hand stubbornly gripping Mehen’s clothes—but I pressed my lips shut.

“My lady.”

“…….”

“Lady Arellin.”

“…….”

“Arel.”

“……!”

Startled by the unfamiliar nickname, I reflexively looked up. Eyes tinged with pale gold in the morning sunlight were looking down at me.

Sharp eyes as ever, eyes that seemed troubled—yet somewhere in them was a gentleness that held me in place.

Seeing me shrink back, he wrinkled his nose as if troubled, then sighed.

“Arel.”

Mehen’s large, delicate hand came into view. A gentle, warm, clumsy hand rested on my head.