The Espers Who Regretted Losing Me Chapter 104

Just hearing everything up to this point already made my chest feel tight.

But every word that came from the Director’s mouth was another incident piled on top of another, and then another.

“After the researchers died, repairing the Gate generators became impossible, and mass-producing stabilizers became difficult as well. There were still a few surviving researchers, but there simply weren’t enough of them. Even so, everyone worked incredibly hard. They willingly protected the people who fled here and did everything they could to close even one more Gate. Even if it was no different from pouring water into a bottomless bucket.”

“……”

“But there was no way to solve a phenomenon whose cause we didn’t even understand, and the situation only continued to worsen. As that happened, the resentment that had briefly subsided turned toward us again. People blamed the Association for everything and directed their anger at the Espers and Guides. It was as if they were looking at their mortal enemies.”

“…The Gate Rampage wasn’t Headquarters’ fault, but… yes. From the civilians’ perspective, it was like being struck by lightning thousands of times out of a clear sky, so I can understand why they were angry. But resenting the awakened people who had been protecting them all this time…”

Honestly, I couldn’t understand it.

Because I was a Guide.

I had spent my life confined to Headquarters because I was awakened, separated from ordinary life.

While people outside attended school, went to work, and lived normal lives without worry, I had spent my days here simply letting time pass.

Seeing my emotions beginning to rise, I took a deep breath.

The Director gave me a faint smile and asked,

“Hyea. Do you remember Guide Lee Muwhan from the Graphite Squad?”

“Yes. He introduced himself with Esper Seo Jaeyeon, didn’t he? …Did something happen to Guide Lee Muwhan?”

“When people began directing those accusations at us, the first group to leave Headquarters was the Graphite Squad, who had recently returned from deployment. Lee Muwhan said something back then.”

The Director paused.

“‘I don’t want to die protecting people like them.’”

“…The other Espers in the Graphite Squad left too?”

“Yes. All of them left together.”

It was only a single sentence.

But it immediately conveyed just how severe the situation must have been.

The Graphite Squad had supposedly been assembled from among the worst-tempered Espers imaginable.

Lee Muwhan had seemed to harbor grievances toward Espers just like I did, but he hadn’t appeared to be a bad person.

And after everything they must have experienced during expedition raids, they had become the first group to completely lose faith in people.

“Then what about the other Espers? Did everyone leave together? Yeon Dogyeong, Lee Shinra, and Cha Eunhwi too?”

“Hyea. Those three…”

“When you talked about them yesterday, I could tell you were hiding something. I’ll be fine, so please just tell me honestly.”

“……”

They had been my childhood friends.

And they had feelings toward me that bordered on obsession.

I didn’t feel any particular affection toward them myself.

Still, if I were told that they had died or that something terrible had happened to them, I knew I’d spend several days feeling unsettled.

Like something was wrong.

At my firm words, the Director paused for a moment before nodding.

“After the Graphite Squad left Headquarters, most of the other Espers left as well. There were fewer Guides, stabilizers had become difficult to produce, and the sole S-Rank Guide had disappeared. In that situation, they were expected to continue sacrificing their lives for people who constantly blamed them. I imagine that became impossible to endure. So… I didn’t try to stop anyone.”

The Director wore an expression as though he blamed himself.

But even if he had wanted to stop them, he probably couldn’t have.

He had retired from active duty long ago.

And in a Headquarters that had already fallen apart, how much influence could the title of Director really have over Espers?

Since I didn’t interrupt, he continued calmly.

“Dogyeong, Shinra, and Eunhwi left a little later than the others. All three of them were in terrible condition, almost as bad as when they first failed to protect you. I told them that Hyea wasn’t someone who would die so easily, and that if they failed to protect this place, there would be nowhere left for Hyea to return to.”

“So they believed that? And they stayed here while trying to make use of the Queen Arachne?”

“Yes. It was Eunhwi who proposed using this building as a base. He insisted that we needed a place capable of supporting itself. He took the lead in repairing and installing various systems, and he helped us tremendously.”

Cha Eunhwi had always been smart.

He had probably acted as the brains of the operation alongside the Director, making plans and giving instructions.

Only now did I understand why the Director was living in Cha Eunhwi’s apartment.

And why the apartment looked the way it did.

The explanation that followed was similar to what I had already heard yesterday.

Yeon Dogyeong had spent an entire year conditioning the Queen Arachne to protect Sector B.

Lee Shinra had used his abilities tirelessly to protect people.

The three of them had even maintained peaceful relations with the Geumgang Squad while sheltering people fleeing from monsters.

But after the researchers died, their condition gradually worsened.

“At the time, though, the other Espers weren’t stable either. We couldn’t pay much attention to it. It sounds like an excuse, but we were too busy trying to manage the crisis itself. Fortunately, after a while, they seemed to return to normal. But then…”

“It’s okay. Tell me everything.”

“…After the Espers left Headquarters, frightened people began saying something even more outrageous. They said we should offer Guides as sacrifices.”

“…What? Wait, what…? First they wanted to use them as bait to escape, and now they wanted sacrifices?”

Was this really the twenty-first century?

The absurdity of it made my face grow hot.

The Director wore a bitter smile.

“They were just that frightened. They had lost everything overnight. Perhaps they felt wronged and needed someone to blame. The problem was that it didn’t stop at words.”

“If it didn’t stop at words… what did they actually do to the Guides?”

“There are eighteen people living here now, but until two years ago, around seventy people lived here together. More than half of them were civilians. They lured two Guides into an area occupied by monsters and sacrificed them.”

“…This is insane. Seriously. None of the people living here now were involved in that, right?”

If any of them had been, I didn’t think I could forgive them.

If someone had murdered innocent people and was now living comfortably afterward, I wouldn’t do the same thing back—

But I would want to break every bone in their arms and legs.

Fortunately, the Director answered immediately.

“No. Everyone who supported that act fled afterward. Most of the people living here now arrived after that incident, so you don’t need to worry.”

“Good. Though honestly, hearing that they ran away just makes me angrier. After doing something like that, why do they get to run?”

“Because Dogyeong lost control.”

“……”

The way he said it was as casual as commenting on today’s weather.

Before I realized it, I had fallen silent.

Yesterday, when I saw the burn scars on the Director’s face, I had thought of Yeon Dogyeong.

But no matter how reckless Dogyeong was, I couldn’t imagine him deliberately attacking the Director.

“…Mister. Your face. Were you injured because of that?”

If it hadn’t been his own choice, that changed things.

The Director didn’t answer.

But I could tell the answer was yes.

“By the time I regained consciousness, everything was already over. Other than me, who jumped in to stop Dogyeong, there were no other injuries. That was a miracle. Once Dogyeong barely regained his senses, he kept apologizing. If Shinra hadn’t treated me, Dogyeong would’ve carried that memory forever, so I suppose that was fortunate.”

“…I honestly don’t even know what to say. You were reckless too, Mister, and Yeon Dogyeong… no, never mind. The people are the problem. How could anyone do something like that?”

Now I immediately understood why Lee Muwhan had said what he did before leaving.

If I had been there myself, I would’ve been so disgusted that I would’ve abandoned Headquarters faster than anyone.

According to the Director, the three of them disappeared about a month after that.