The Espers Who Regretted Losing Me Chapter 105

“—After that, we heard news that an A-rank Gate had appeared somewhere in Korea and monsters had poured out, but there was nothing we could do. The only thing we knew for certain was that the world had become so ruined that it was impossible to tell the inside of a Gate from the outside anymore.”

“…That Gate is probably still there, right?”

“Most likely. And Hyeya. You said you could feel Esper energy from the people here, didn’t you? It may be that… they have all become Awakened.”

“Awakened? But if that’s the case…”

They didn’t seem to possess overwhelmingly enhanced physical abilities.

Still, the Director knew far more about Espers than I did, so I simply waited for him to continue.

Without any hesitation, he explained.

“This is only speculation, but… if we trace the history of Awakening, the Espers who awakened in the very early days were called the first generation. After the world stabilized from the initial chaos, the Espers and Guides who voluntarily joined the Association were called the second generation.”

“Yes.”

“And Awakened individuals like you, Shinra, Dogyeong, and Eunhwi, who were tested and educated from childhood, were called the third generation. Strangely enough, every time a generation changed, there were small but noticeable changes in the abilities of Awakened people. One of those changes was that the age of Awakening became younger. I believe we are now living in the era of the fourth generation of Awakened individuals. Even if they don’t possess special abilities or overwhelming power, their immunity and survival instincts are far beyond what you’d expect from ordinary civilians.”

The Director’s expression was completely serious as he spoke.

Strong immunity and survival instincts.

I’d only known these people for a day, so I couldn’t fully understand what he meant, but the Director had observed them for at least a year.

I quietly nodded, assuming he had good reason to be so certain.

‘Even if there’s some other truth, there’s no way to verify it anyway.’

The questions that had been tangling up my thoughts finally had answers.

Of course, each answer brought new mysteries with it, but for now I’d heard everything I needed to hear.

Everything except one thing.

Tilting my head slightly, I looked at the Director’s left leg and asked,

“Your leg… how did you lose it? Was it because you tried to stop Yeon Dogyeong…?”

“It wasn’t Dogyeong’s fault. This happened after those children left. A Basilisk got me.”

“A Basilisk? The monster that turns people to stone when their eyes meet? That thing came from a Gate too?”

“Yes. Since I was once an Esper, I had some resistance, so my entire body didn’t turn to stone. But the petrification was spreading, and I had no choice but to destroy the leg before it went further. At least there was no pain or bleeding.”

The Director smiled bitterly as he rested a hand over the empty space where his leg had once been.

To be fair, calling it fortunate wasn’t entirely wrong.

If Lee Shinra had still been at Headquarters, the Director never would have resorted to destroying his own leg.

But in a situation where there wasn’t a single Esper with healing abilities left…

‘If he’d left it alone, his whole body would’ve turned to stone.’

It wasn’t just a limb.

If his entire body had been petrified, he would have died.

Knowing it had been the best choice available to him, I swallowed my words.

“Is there anything else you’re curious about?”

“For now, no… I understand perfectly why I need to keep the fact that I’m a Guide secret.”

Regardless of how kind and decent the people here were, the world had become an extremely dangerous place for Guides.

Even if my physical abilities had improved enough for people to mistake me for an Esper, there was no reason to draw attention to myself.

Yet despite understanding that, sighs kept escaping me.

The Director spoke in a bitter tone.

“Hyeya, your memories aren’t even whole, yet you’ve ended up in danger inside a Gate once again. I’m sorry.”

“Ah. Well… getting trapped in a Gate wasn’t really anyone’s fault.”

“Dogyeong reported that it was his fault.”

“No. It wasn’t Yeon Dogyeong’s fault.”

He hadn’t pushed me in.

I’d simply fallen into a trap.

After answering firmly, I hesitated for a moment before adding,

“And, um, sir? There’s actually something I need to tell you.”

“Of course. Say whatever you’d like. Ah, but Hyeya, if you’re thinking of leaving Headquarters, I’d like you to wait a little longer until you’ve adjusted to this world. Hearing about it and experiencing it yourself are very different things.”

That wasn’t what I wanted to talk about.

The world wasn’t peaceful anymore—it was completely ruined.

I had no reason to leave without any purpose.

Seeing the Director’s still-serious expression, I let out another sigh and answered calmly.

“That’s not it. It’s just… I’m not actually suffering from amnesia. You may have already suspected it.”

After blurting it out, I shifted my gaze away from the wall I’d been staring at.

The Director’s eyes widening wasn’t my imagination.

Then silence settled between us.

Thirty seconds. One minute. One minute and thirty seconds. Two minutes…

I counted the seconds in thirty-second intervals.

At exactly five minutes and thirty seconds, the Director finally spoke.

“…I see. Well, I had considered the possibility once or twice, but I wasn’t truly suspicious. I see… I see…”

“Was I really that good at lying?”

“Rather than lying… your behavior, Hyeya… It felt impossible unless you had actually lost your memories. At least, that’s what I thought…”

“…Do you think they never knew for sure either?”

The subject wasn’t stated outright, but it was obvious who I meant.

At my dry question, the Director’s lips closed again.

Another silence followed before he finally answered with a faint smile.

“They were probably the same as me. Even if they had their suspicions, even if they doubted it, they wouldn’t have said it aloud. When you were rescued from the ‘Recovered Strange Paradise’ and lived with them, you genuinely looked happy. Though I don’t know how you saw it yourself.”

“…I was just comfortable. Honestly, I really intended to die inside that Gate. I decided to forget those bastards and move on with my life. Then the people I thought I’d never see again barged into my paradise, crying and causing a scene. Even when I told them to get lost, they wouldn’t leave. They even said they wanted to stay there with me!”

Now that I’d admitted I didn’t have amnesia, there was no reason to hold back.

I poured out everything exactly as I remembered it.

“Seriously, how ridiculous is that? They should’ve treated me well when I was around. What’s the point of regretting things afterward? And you were terrible too, sir. When I suddenly handed in my resignation, you should’ve gone, ‘Ah, Hyeya must’ve been having a hard time.’ You should’ve understood! Instead, you tattled on me!”

“…Yes, I did. I’m sorry, Hyeya.”

“Yes, you should be sorry. Do you know how unfair that felt? So I decided to make those jerks my footstools and teach them what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes. I’d already planned to die once, so what was there to be afraid of? I thought I’d just live however I wanted. But those idiots… they were way crazier than I expected…”

“Yes. They loved you very much, Hyeya. Back then, during that time, and three years ago as well.”

The fire that had flared up inside me suddenly died out.

I ran a hand through my messy hair and asked without hiding my complicated feelings.

“What were they like… when they left Headquarters?”