The Espers Who Regretted Losing Me Chapter 18

Nothing had changed—there was still no dream, no hope—but I couldn’t just walk straight into hell like this.

The fact that Yeon Dogyeong and Lee Sinra weren’t here gave me a bit of courage, and I spoke carefully.

“Captain. Actually… I can’t sleep if my pillow changes. And I’m a really light sleeper—if someone wakes me up, I get extremely irri— I mean, sensitive and cranky. If I guide in that condition, wouldn’t it seriously interfere with expedition operations?”

It was closer to a plea than an excuse.

If a guide’s condition was poor, then naturally, guiding would suffer too.

But Cha Eunhwi answered with an utterly indifferent expression.

“There are no restrictions on personal items. We’ll be traveling by vehicle, so storage won’t be an issue. Just bring the pillow you usually use.”

“…….”

“If you need a blanket as well, bring that too. We’ll be staying at hotels affiliated with headquarters for the duration of the two months, and bedding laundry services will be available.”

“…Actually! I can’t sleep anywhere but my house at all! Severe sleep deprivation affects guiding—”

“Do you remember the named monster from ‘The Midnight Banquet Hall’ we cleared on the 4th last month? It only appeared at dawn. You fell asleep while waiting inside the rift and didn’t wake up until the clear was complete. I carried you back to headquarters.”

“…….”

I quietly closed my mouth.
This angle was clearly a dead end.

My eyes darted around as my brain worked just as frantically.

Among the things people complained about most after returning from expeditions were sleep—and food.

This is it, I thought, about to speak again, when Cha Eunhwi beat me to it.

“If you’re planning to say you’re picky about food, have a sensitive stomach, or get sick easily if the water changes, don’t bother. Six months ago, during ‘The Devourers’ Wasteland’, when an orc appeared, you grilled it and ate it just fine with Dogyeong.”

I remembered it instantly.
Dogyeong had wondered if orcs really tasted like pork and roasted it to a perfect golden brown.

Sinra had called it disgusting, saying it was basically a bipedal pig. Cha Eunhwi had refused on hygiene grounds.

I, on the other hand, had eaten it.

It was tough, dry, and smelled overwhelmingly pig-like. Honestly, it was awful.

I also remembered the Director looking at us like, what kind of lunatics are these, when Cha Eunhwi reported it.

As I subtly averted my gaze, Cha Eunhwi continued.

“And three months ago, during ‘The Peculiar Peach Blossom Paradise’, didn’t you eat the face-painted peaches with Dogyeong? The named monster—the Giant Peach—cried about how its precious babies had been eaten.”

…That came back to me too.

They barely counted as faces—just dot eyes and no mouths.

The sweet scent kept drawing my attention until Sinra picked one and handed it to me, explaining there was a legend that eating peaches from that place extended one’s lifespan.

Dogyeong ate one first, said it was good, so I tried it too.

Sinra refused again because of the faces. Cha Eunhwi refused again because of hygiene.

Then suddenly, the Giant Peach burst out and attacked only me and Dogyeong.

It had been a C-rank gate, and the Giant Peach was known not to attack first.

We later realized eating the peaches had triggered it and filed a revised report……

And yes, the Director had given us that look again.

Cha Eunhwi listed a few more incidents—things even I had forgotten.

Wow. I really have been eating everything and living pretty robustly, huh.

He looked at me like go on, say something else.

I had nothing.

After a brief silence, Cha Eunhwi spoke again.

“To begin with, this expedition is the result of a special directive from the Director—because you submitted your resignation seventy times.”

“…A special directive?”

“Yes. He told us to go and get along nicely.”

“…….”

Without a word, I pulled my phone out and sent the Director a message.

[ Yoon Hyea → Jung Sigeom ]

I really hate you༼;´༎ຶ ۝༎ຶ`༽ …….

When I come back from this expedition, just you wait.

Right now, I still have some humanity left—but after being put through hell, there won’t be anything left at all.

As I slipped my phone back into my pocket, the operations room door opened.

Yeon Dogyeong and Lee Sinra walked in and froze when they saw me.
Dogyeong moved behind Cha Eunhwi and tilted his head.

“What’s this, Yoon Hyea. Feels like it’s been forever.”

“H-hello……”

“Doesn’t feel good to me. I’m about to lose my mind from not getting guided for days. And what’s with that drowned puppy look? You screw something up?”

“I told them about the expedition.”

“Oh.”

Dogyeong ran a hand through his hair and looked straight at me.

With a sharp, mocking smile, he said,
“So that’s why you look like you ate shit?”

Honestly, it felt like I’d eaten something way worse than that.

Of course, I didn’t say it out loud.

More importantly, I wasn’t the only one who looked bad—those two were in rough shape too.

They looked thoroughly irritated. I hurriedly reached out, but a curt voice cut me off.

“It’s been days since the last guiding. You planning to end today with just hand-holding again? You’ve got it easy.”

“Ah, then……”

A hug or two wasn’t that big a deal.

I opened my arms—only for Sinra to cut in.

“Am I invisible? You greet Dogyeong hyung first the moment you arrive. Is it okay for a guide to discriminate like this between espers in the same squad?”

“It’s not discrimination—”

“How is it not?”

Something had clearly happened while I was gone.

They were always eager to torment me when they got the chance, but acting like this first thing in the morning?

Maybe it was because I ran off without seeing them that day.
These guys held grudges forever.

At times like this, the best solution was simple: just guide them and say nothing. I was tired anyway.

“Should I guide both of you together?”

I tried to sound calm, but Dogyeong’s emotions spiked instantly, and his voice turned icy.

“Drop the damn honorifics. They piss me off.”

Then he pulled me into a crushing hug, and honestly—what was wrong with him?

Officially, mutual respect was the rule.
In practice, almost no one followed it.

I used honorifics precisely because I wanted distance from espers.

Even that was already a compromise.

At first, I’d planned to use the same blunt speech as Cha Eunhwi—but I hated sharing a speech pattern with him, so I settled for this.

Normally, I’d ignore them until they cooled off.

But today was different.

We’re leaving on an expedition tomorrow. If they stay sulky, I’m screwed……

I lifted my arms and patted Dogyeong’s back.

“Dogyeong… did something happen?”

“…You don’t need to know.”

Yeah. I wasn’t actually curious anyway, you rude bastard.

Calling him by name twice in one week made me feel uncomfortably close.

Thankfully, Dogyeong didn’t press further and let me go.

Still, both he and Sinra looked like they were carrying a lot of resentment, and my future suddenly felt very, very bleak.

What if they keep provoking me and future-me snaps during the expedition……?

I didn’t want to become a criminal at this age.
I could only hope it wouldn’t come to that.

As always, the only one acting exactly the same was Cha Eunhwi.

Dogyeong sprawled onto the sofa first. Sinra sat beside him.
Cha Eunhwi took the seat across from them.

I sat down next to him.