The Espers Who Regretted Losing Me Chapter 35

The scenery was endlessly peaceful and beautiful, with not a single dangerous element in sight. It made her feel strangely calm.

They said the first gate ever explored was also a forest as beautiful as a painting. And monsters that ate people lived there.

But this place—

No matter how she looked at it—front roll or back roll—it really did seem safe.

First, the animals. Most animals inside gates looked bizarre, as if they had gone through a twisted evolutionary path, and were usually aggressive.

But the animals here are all… normal. And cute.

They weren’t even wary. They hovered around her freely.

This safe—could she even hunt them? She wasn’t a picky eater. She could eat rabbit meat just fine.

Next, the plants. Most gate plants were deformed as well, or even if they looked normal, they released toxins so strong they made breathing difficult.

Like the ‘White and Pallid Botanical Garden’ or ‘Barometz’s Nest.’

But here, grass, flowers, and trees spread everywhere in an instant—and nothing’s wrong.

It was so beautiful she found herself staring blankly. The air was fresh. Extremely safe.

The newly grown trees were heavy with fruit. She didn’t have any resistance to eating food grown inside a gate.

And most importantly—there’s plenty of water.

Even if it was contaminated, she could boil it.

Luckily, there were lots of flammable materials around, and she had a lighter and matches in her bag.

Or I could filter it using that plastic bottle I picked up earlier.

Her memory was vague, but she had learned water purification methods before.

I also have spare clothes.

Just one long T-shirt and a pair of underwear she’d packed just in case… but it was enough for now.

And toiletries. And a travel kit.

They were small, but she wouldn’t die just because she washed with water only.

So—looking purely at the current situation— staying inside the gate instead of going outside wasn’t actually that bad.

“……”

Honestly, it was a crazy thought.

She didn’t know how this environment might change. And if a monster suddenly appeared, she’d die without even having time to react.

The animals might suddenly turn violent. The fruit might be poisonous.

Ask a hundred people and they’d all say, “That’s a very creative way to commit suicide…”

She knew that. She really did.

But—

‘Sulking? To you, quitting being a guide must be something really trivial.’

Being forced to do things she didn’t want to do— that reality was garbage.

‘Yoon Hyeya, you’re really good at making people angry.’

Being told nonsense like “the pot calling the kettle black” nonstop—
that was garbage too.

‘We’ve given Guide Yoon Hyeya far too many special considerations. If we’d treated her like any other guide, she wouldn’t have pulled strings behind our backs.’

Dealing with people who spouted crap like “special treatment” when the only reason she was treated well at all was because she was capable—

That was garbage too.

She’d suffered plenty already, but just thinking back on everything that happened today made tears well up.

I don’t want to go out.

Yes. She didn’t want to.

Dying inside a gate was terrifying. But the thought of going back outside—to daily life again—made her feel suffocated.

If this place were eerie, terrifying, or hellish like other gates, she would’ve run out without hesitation.

But it wasn’t.

“……”

She stared at the rift, now reduced to about half her body size, and weakly sank down.

There was still some time left. She could think a little longer.

As she stared hard at the rift, a squirrel hopped over. Its cheeks were ridiculously puffed out.

The squirrel circled her, ears twitching, sniffing at her.

Then it suddenly jumped onto her knee and pulled a grape out of its cheek pouch.

Holding the grape with its tiny hands, it carefully peeled the skin and started eating.

One grape. Two grapes. Three grapes.

Watching its mouth move busily, she muttered without thinking,

“Is it good?”

The squirrel squeaked—chik!—then pulled out another grape and held it out to her.

The fact that it seemed to answer her was shocking enough. The fact that it offered something that had been in its mouth was even more shocking.

The squirrel stared at her insistently, so she accepted it. The squirrel squeaked again and went back to eating.

She stared at the glossy grape in her hand.

There must be grapevines somewhere here.

That lowered the chance of it being poisonous. Cha Eunhwi had once said that things animals eat are usually safe for humans too.

She remembered hearing that during survival training as a kid.

Back then, I never imagined things would fall apart this badly.

They had become nightmares eventually—but once, they were the first place she felt safe after her parents died.

Her father and mother had died inside a gate.

The A-rank gate where they died was called ‘Black Sea.’ True to its name, it was a world filled with pitch-black ocean.

The named monster there was ‘Nightmare of the Deep.’

She’d heard it was a massive creature—like a mix between a squid and an octopus—lurking underwater and dragging people in with its tentacles.

She didn’t know how many people died there. How many times it had connected. What the rest of the environment was like.

When she studied gates, she started from the back. ‘Black Sea’ was at the very front—and she didn’t want to see it.

She only knew that her father rushed in to save her mother after she was grabbed—and they both died.

The gate was cleared. Their bodies were never recovered.

Even if they tried, they probably couldn’t have found them.

The Director had told her her parents were great heroes.

They had been proud espers. Even after she was born, they stayed active in the field.

And yet, to their only daughter, they were endlessly gentle, kind, and devoted.

When her parents were alive, she hadn’t awakened yet. But even if she had awakened as a guide earlier, they would never have treated her differently.

No— they probably would’ve been happy.

“Our daughter is amazing!” they would’ve said.

They definitely would’ve scolded any esper who treated me badly.

The reason she didn’t resent espers before joining the headquarters was entirely because of her parents.

She remembered the day they died.

Her father patting her head, saying, “We might be a little late today.” The image was still vivid.

It was a Sunday. She’d been lying on the living room sofa reading.

She wasn’t lonely even when they weren’t home. The large, well-kept house had two live-in housekeepers.

As evening fell, the phone rang.

The aunt answered cheerfully—then turned pale and looked at her.

After the funeral, she was sent to an orphanage funded by the ESP Association.

She had a house. She had money. But she had no legal guardian.

She had no contact with relatives either, so there was no other choice.

Fortunately, the association-funded orphanage had great facilities and a good environment.

She lacked nothing.

Yet somehow, she never grew attached to it.

A year later, she found out she was an awakened individual.

Honestly, her reaction was just—

So what?

She had no room to care about her surroundings at the time.

Even when people made a fuss about her exceptional potential, she thought—

So what?

That said everything.

She left the orphanage and started living at headquarters.

And that life— was even worse.