The Espers Who Regretted Losing Me Chapter 38

Squeak, pii-pii. The animals cried cutely and waved their little paws as if to say yes.

I want to give them something too…!

Clamping a hand over my mouth, I knelt down and rummaged through my bag, pulling out some snacks.

When I took out the candy and chocolate, they were misshapen, as if they had melted once.

It seemed the heat I’d felt when I was swallowed by the snake yesterday had been stronger than I thought.

Still, well— the taste should be fine.

But… is it okay to give this stuff to rabbits and squirrels?

I’d taken them out without thinking, but Cha Eunhwi’s words came back to me.

Animals can usually eat what humans eat.  But humans eat plenty of things animals shouldn’t.

“……”

A squirrel hopped onto the back of my hand and sniffed curiously, but I gave an awkward smile and put the candy and chocolate back.

“Sorry. This might make you sick if you eat it.”

As if it understood again, the squirrel cried squeak! and hopped down.

The animals dropped the fruit they had brought onto my lap, one by one.

Apples, pears, grapes, cherries, peaches, oranges… There was a little bit of everything.

Bananas and mangoes, especially, completely caught me off guard.

This place really is bizarre.

A place with a huge, adorable rabbit, a picture-perfect lake, a hot spring, and all kinds of fruit growing regardless of climate.

It was undeniably strange—but after just one day, I’d grown fond of it.

Leaning against a tree, I picked up an apple. The bright red apple was incredibly sweet and delicious.

After that, I quickly adapted to life inside the gate.

This beautiful place was exactly as peaceful as I’d first felt—and even stranger than I’d imagined.

Because it wasn’t just fruit growing on the trees.

Why on earth are sweet potatoes and potatoes growing on trees…?

No matter how much I thought about it, it made no sense.
Sweet potatoes are root vegetables. Where did the roots go? The roots!
Same for potatoes—what part of that is the stem?

But that was only the beginning.

When the giant rabbit led me to a tree that grew bread and bone-in meat, my hands actually trembled.

It plucked off a piece of meat and handed it to me with a face that clearly said, Eat.

So… what kind of meat is this, exactly…?

Before I could even recover from that shock, I found a tree covered in candy and chocolate.

I’d worried it might upset their stomachs, but the rabbits and squirrels ate them happily, making my concern feel pointless.

Right. My common sense couldn’t handle this—but gates were never places that followed common sense.

And it’s not like I’d ever been picky about food.

I wasn’t picky even when Yeon Dogyeong grilled and ate a bipedal pig, either.

Once I sorted out my thoughts, I actually felt more relaxed.

If I’d had to live on nothing but fruit here, I probably would’ve gotten sick of it quickly—but now I didn’t have to worry about that.

Since eating raw meat wasn’t an option, I gathered fallen branches, made a campfire, and grilled it.

The animals had been startled by fire at first, but once I kept grilling food for them, they started running over with blissful expressions whenever they saw flames.

Even now.

Their favorite dish was baked apples stuffed with butter.

As for where I got butter— of course, that came from a tree too.

By now, I didn’t even react to trees growing processed foods.

Bones from the meat, fruit seeds, peels—anything left over—the giant rabbit ate it all.

Watching it calmly crunch through bones and hard bits, I thought, Yeah… a monster really is a monster.

If there was one inconvenience, it was the lack of proper tableware.

But that’s fine. If my hands get dirty, I can just wash them.

After finishing dessert as well, I stretched and leaned back against the giant rabbit.

Amazingly, today marked exactly one week since I’d started living inside the gate.

Not just “only” one week— a full week.

It’s amazing that I’m still alive… and even more amazing that I’m eating and living this well inside a gate…

At the same time, another thought crossed my mind.

If every gate had been this peaceful, espers and guides wouldn’t have been necessary at all.

Not that it matters to me anymore.

Even my guiding ability—something I’d grown sick and tired of—was completely useless here.

I felt light. Refreshed.  Like I’d finally set down a burden I could never throw away before.

And yet… there was a tiny bit of emptiness too.

It wasn’t loneliness, or sadness, or boredom. Definitely not boredom!

It was just… awkward, being alone after spending my whole life surrounded by people.

I’d never had this much time before, so I didn’t even know what to do with it.

…Wait. Don’t tell me this is—am I bored?!

The thought struck like lightning, and I bolted upright.

What was my life like before?

Every morning, I woke up sighing and dragging myself out of bed.

I don’t want to get up… I don’t want to go out… I don’t want to guide…

After getting ready and heading out like that, I’d run into Yeon Dogyeong.

Espers and guides lived in company housing inside headquarters.

Different floors, same building—so our paths crossed often.

I got so sick of running into him that I changed my schedule—only to run into Cha Eunhwi or Lee Shinra instead.

If I left at the last possible minute like usual, I met Yeon Dogyeong. If I left earlier, I was guaranteed to run into one of the other two.

There was no winning.

It was better to just stay home as long as possible.

Once we reached the operations room, I’d do some light guiding, then we’d decide which assigned gate to clear first.

Sometimes we’d head out right away. Other times, we’d kill time and go in the afternoon.

Every unit managed their time differently.

As long as we met our quota, headquarters didn’t interfere.

Still, every month, unit performance was announced and bonuses were handed out.

At the end of the year, the top-performing unit even got a plaque—and an article online.

Most of the time, that was the Geumgang First Unit.

Our unit, though… none of us really cared about performance.

But strangely, despite all the free time, we were always busy.

When Cha Eunhwi got absorbed in a book, he ignored everything else. Yeon Dogyeong and Lee Shinra played games together.

They’d try to get me to join too—but whether it was fun or not, I just didn’t feel like it.

It reminded me of my childhood, and the constant physical closeness made me uncomfortable.

Sometimes we watched movies instead—but that was uncomfortable too.

On days like that, time dragged unbearably, and I just wanted to clear a gate and go home.

Even though once I got home, all I did was watch TV for a bit and sleep.

Once, Yeon Dogyeong asked, “Is home really that great?”

I swallowed back the words, It’s better than being with you guys!

Besides, it was company housing.

Other than being able to rest comfortably on a bed, there were no real perks.

Everything I did at home was recorded.

There were no cameras—but headquarters knew when I used my computer or phone, what sites I visited, what I searched, what games I played, and who I contacted.

They said it was to keep awakened people from doing anything strange.

The TV had most streaming services, but I could only watch content approved by headquarters.

Foreign films and animation were always dubbed—never subtitled.

It was a level of surveillance that would horrify non-awakened people, but most awakened accepted it without complaint.

Even the most irritable, foul-tempered ones took it as normal.

Strange as it was… yeah. In a way, it was normal.