The Espers Who Regretted Losing Me Chapter 50

It wasn’t a metaphor.

A real lightning strike made of fire fell from the sky.

But it never directly hit the monsters.
It felt like control and defense mattered more than attacking.

Is there some reason for that?

What Cha Eunhwi said earlier also bothered me.
Something was definitely strange.

Thinking it was safe for now, I let go of their hands.

I also stepped out of Yeon Dogyeong’s arms.

All three of them looked regretful—almost desperate—but none of them said anything.

Before, they acted like they’d eat me alive if I was even a little late holding their hands.

I thought I wasn’t the type to hold grudges.

But if I kept remembering things like this, maybe I was wrong.

I pushed those feelings down and spoke casually.

“Why are those things acting like that? They were never like this before you showed up.”

“…It’s probably because of guiding.”

“What? Why guiding?”

“Well… it’s hard to explain where to start…”

“E-Eunhwi hyung. I think we should move somewhere safer first.”

Lee Shinra cut in, still dark-faced even though his color had improved.

The way his eyes kept darting around made me uneasy.

Most espers were confident in their powers—but these three especially so.

They used to brag they’d survive even a nuclear bomb.
Or… are they still not okay?

I did my best, but maybe one year without guiding was too much.

Since my life was also at risk, I wondered if I should grab their hands again.

At that moment, Cha Eunhwi quietly patted Shinra’s back.

Then he walked to the edge of the enlarged barrier and said something quietly. I couldn’t hear it.

While I watched them, Yeon Dogyeong whispered to me.

“When you got swallowed by the monster… Shinra was right next to you. He lost a lot of confidence after that. But his barrier is strong, so don’t worry. Still… don’t stray too far from us.”

…Wait. That sounds bad.

It reminded me of when we were kids, when they followed me everywhere just to feel safe.

This is driving me crazy…

I looked around with a heavy heart.

The sky was dark like storm clouds had gathered.

The once-green land was now filled with rotten, dried plants.

The emerald lake that gave us drinking water had turned thick purple, like poison.

Even the volcano that once looked like a painting had turned black—and the area around it was moving.

From far away, it looked like insects were swarming.

Is this why the rabbit said the volcano area was dangerous?

Just looking at it made my stomach churn.

I turned away and sighed.

Living here like this might not be possible anymore.

What was so wrong about guiding?

While I stared at the snarling lop-eared rabbit, Cha Eunhwi walked back with Lee Shinra.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Hyeya. This isn’t a good place for a long talk, so may I explain briefly?”

“Ah… yes. That’s fine.”

Seeing Eunhwi speak so gently still felt strange.

Shinra, whose eyes were red like he’d cried again, focused on maintaining the barrier.

I glanced at him briefly, then looked back at Eunhwi.

Eunhwi explained without hesitation.

“There were signs even before you went missing, Hyeya. But after that, strange things kept happening inside gates.”

“Strange things?”

“Yes. I only heard bits and pieces, but normally monsters attack espers first. Lately, all monsters ignore espers and go straight for guides.”

“But how would monsters know who the guide is— ah.”

I stopped mid-sentence.

“Guiding.”

Eunhwi nodded.

“You may not remember, but when we first entered this gate, monsters targeted you unusually often. We didn’t think much of it back then…”

That was true.

I nodded without thinking, then quickly added,

“I get it. So because I guided you, this happened.”

I really shouldn’t have done it.

Guiding meant nothing without espers.

If I had just ignored them bleeding, none of this would’ve happened.

…Well, whatever. No one forced me. I chose to do it.

Still, if I could go back ten minutes, I wouldn’t.

But regrets were useless now.

Unfortunately, they misunderstood my words.

Shinra turned toward me, trembling.

“N-Noona… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I’m weak. I’m trash.”

“…What?”

“I’m trash. Trash that can’t even be recycled…”

What was wrong with him?

This wasn’t just low confidence—it was no self-worth at all.

As his emotions spiked, the barrier shook.

Cracks spread across one side like broken glass.

The monsters rushed toward it—but Yeon Dogyeong quickly raised flames to push them back.

Again, he’s not attacking directly.

His face was full of caution.

We couldn’t stay like this forever.

“You said earlier that if we defeat the named monster, we can leave the gate, right?”

I remembered Eunhwi’s textbook explanation.

I wasn’t asking anyone in particular.

All three looked at me—but Dogyeong answered first.

“Yeah. That snake you were with earlier… it was the named monster.”

Maybe because I looked close to the baby snake, Dogyeong hesitated.

But I didn’t think much of it.

We’d only been together for a month.

I kept my distance from people and animals alike—probably because of how badly these three treated me when I was younger.

If it had been a whole year like outside, maybe I’d feel different.

I didn’t reply, just looked ahead.

The lop-eared rabbit was still staring at us.

“The snake moved over there… I can’t see it.”

“It m-might be hiding underground. Noona, be careful below.”

Shinra spoke nervously, like he was about to cry.

He shouldn’t be here. He needs a hospital.

Espers had strong minds.

No matter what horrors they saw in gates, they usually endured.

Dogyeong and Eunhwi were calmer now—but Shinra was still lost and anxious, like a child.

I felt his fear clearly, no matter how much I tried to ignore it.

Then suddenly, the ground shook.

I recognized the feeling.

The moment Cha Eunhwi grabbed me and jumped back, the ground beneath me collapsed.

Dogyeong and Shinra reacted fast too. No one fell in.

“Again—Hyeya noona first…!”

Shinra muttered through clenched teeth.

So it really was targeting me.

And I almost got swallowed again.

Last time, I survived only because I was lucky.