The Espers Who Regretted Losing Me Chapter 58

Lee Shinra carefully lifted his head and asked me in a hesitant voice.

“N-Nuna… c-can we get up now?”

“…Yeah.”

It did feel satisfying, but at the same time… I didn’t really know what to think about all this.

Anyway, Yeon Dogyeong and Lee Shinra quickly stood up and, after sneaking glances at me, sat down beside me.

If something had changed from before, it was that they were clearly being careful not to touch me.

Once Cha Eunhwi and the Director sat across from us, the conversation finally began.

The Director spoke first.

“For now, I won’t speak as the Director, but as the person who brought you all here. I’ll talk more casually.”

His tone was very different from his usual stiff way of speaking, which felt unfamiliar.

After taking a breath, the Director looked straight at me.

“I heard from Eunhwi. He said you don’t remember anything, Hyeya. I want to confirm something in more detail—do you not remember your parents either?”

Ah.
That question caught me off guard.

My expression stiffened without me realizing it, making it hard to simply say I don’t remember.

But I had lived seven years swallowing everything inside me.
Pretending to be weak, sick, or struggling—lying like that—I was confident.

I hesitated, moved my lips, then answered calmly.

“I don’t remember anything clearly, but sometimes I had dreams. A man and a woman who looked like me were smiling brightly at me and saying they loved me. I always felt sad when I woke up, so I never thought deeply about it… Could they have been my parents?”

“…Yes. I’m sure they were. You resemble both your father and mother.”

“You knew them too, sir?”

“Of course. Your parents were my colleagues.”

“I see. Then… they passed away, right?”

“…Why do you think that?”

“If they were alive, they wouldn’t have just watched me go through unfair things without doing anything.”

It was something I had always wanted to say.

The moment I said it out loud, my chest felt lighter—but also painfully tight.

Forcing a calm expression, I looked straight at the Director, who had gone stiff.

Yeon Dogyeong, Lee Shinra, and Cha Eunhwi looked the same.

In the heavy silence, the Director finally spoke.

“You’re right. If they were alive, no one would have dared treat you carelessly. Even though I called myself your guardian, I failed to truly look after you. I was pathetic.”

“……”

The bitterness didn’t leave his face.

When I couldn’t say anything, the Director smoothly changed the topic.

“We should talk about your parents another time. Let’s return to the main issue. You said the last thing you remember was being inside the mouth of a named monster—of a monster. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“And besides that, nothing else comes to mind?”

Should I just let it go, or not?
I thought about it briefly, then decided to throw it out plainly.

“I kept wondering why I was there, where that place was, who I was. Every time I thought about it, my head started hurting. I lived like that for a while, and then a baby snake hatched from an egg. Seeing it made me think again. But the more I tried to remember, the more sick I felt—like my stomach was heavy, my neck stiffened, and my eyes burned. It didn’t feel like good memories, so I stopped trying to remember.”

I’d read this somewhere—if you really want to fool someone, mix truth into your lies.

As I spoke evenly, Cha Eunhwi bit his lip tightly.

Yeon Dogyeong and Lee Shinra probably had similar expressions.

The Director’s face darkened too. After rubbing his face, he kept asking questions.

But the questions themselves were… strange.

“How did you eat?”

“Were you able to sleep properly?”

“Were you lonely?”

“Did anything difficult happen?”

“How’s your health?”

Honestly, I hadn’t expected questions like these.

I thought he would ask about the gate environment or anomalies—things like that.

And I thought they’d send me straight to a lab.

His attitude felt suspicious, but I still answered honestly.

“There were a lot of trees, and strangely enough, all kinds of food grew on them, so eating wasn’t a problem.”

“A huge rabbit always let me sleep in its arms.”

“There were lots of animals, so I wasn’t lonely at all.”

“Nothing was particularly hard.”

“As you can see, I’m healthy.”

The more I answered, the more relieved the Director looked. Finally, he let out a long sigh.

“It sounds like it was a very safe place. That’s a relief. You were truly lucky. Eunhwi briefly reported that monsters changed the moment you started guiding. Was that the first time you used your ability after losing your memories?”

Here it comes.
I can feel it. This is that trying to use me feeling again!

I didn’t mention that only one month had passed inside the gate while a year passed outside.

So to the Director, I was now a talented guide who lost her memories, didn’t use her power for a year, and still guided perfectly right away.

If this continues, he might bring up unit mergers or something. Absolutely not.

I played dumb and answered.

“Yes. It was my first time. I just did what they told me, and it worked, but everything was chaotic, so I don’t really remember how I did it.”

I could say this for now and suppress my power as much as possible during later tests.

Every guide wants to be high-ranked.

Inside headquarters, proving your ability was the only way to be treated properly.

So even if I released weaker power, they wouldn’t doubt it.

Things were different from when I was younger and had to prove myself.

If I stay around a borderline A-rank, they’ll think I can handle just these three.

Honestly, even a B-rank would be fine.

If they needed me and I needed them, headquarters would consider that when forming a unit.

Then they might add other B- or C-rank guides.

That would actually be great.

Other guides might see my actions as selfish whining.

But this was better than an S-rank guide returning to headquarters.

If I were there, I’d always be compared to others.

What worried me most was the Director saying something like you can do it if you try and forcing effort.

But—

“I see. Then it would be better to keep the fact that you can guide perfectly a secret for now. We’ll say that losing your memories affected your ability use.”

……Everything he says keeps going beyond my expectations.

I was so surprised I almost blurted out Why?

Calm down. He might be testing me.

If I were my old self—the one who submitted resignation letters seventy times—I would’ve shouted, Then I don’t have to work as a guide?!

But as someone with amnesia, I had to ask something else.

“Is it okay to hide something like that? I heard a little about espers and guides from Cha Eunhwi. He said monsters have been targeting guides lately, so their numbers dropped a lot.”

“…Yes. That’s exactly why we need to protect you even more. You’re a very valuable ability user.”

Valuable.

No matter how high the rank, it was a word that never suited a guide.

There were too many unclear points, but I didn’t think I’d get more information by pushing, so I changed the topic.

“And I also heard that people act in units. They said I used to be in the same unit as these guys. Can we do that again? It feels better to be with people I at least know, rather than complete strangers… even if it’s just a little.”