Weren’t You the One Who Was Dying? Chapter 100

“…….”

Ehit took a breath in. Air trapped in his narrow airway forced its way into his lungs.

He couldn’t breathe.

So this was irreversible.

It had already been more than ten days, and only now did he realize it.

“…….”

He pushed himself up, trying to force air back into his chest. He placed a hand on the desk, inhaled deeply, exhaled, then stopped moving again.

So it really was over.

Ehit slowly sank down to the floor.

Even the sound of the door opening and his attendant Randy entering didn’t reach him.

Randy, who had come in after hearing the bell, stopped in shock at the sight of the young master.

In that moment, Randy thought that if a person could crumble like a boulder breaking apart, this would be it.

Ehit, gripping the edge of the desk with fingers hardened by calluses, looked like he was screaming. No sound came out, but his pain was overflowing.

Pain filled his eyes, his fingertips, his parted lips, his reddened face.

Ehit reached weakly toward his chest.

It felt like it was going to break. As if someone were gripping his heart and tearing it apart with sharpened fingers.

Was it Dapflen? Was she the one giving him this pain?

No. That wasn’t it.

The one squeezing his heart with contemptuous hands was not Dapflen.

It was himself. Himself for letting her go because of foolish pride.

Ehit remembered that night again. It was during the northern expedition that dragged on.

Dapflen had been exhausted. Maybe that was why she had been avoiding him.

Back then, Ehit had suddenly realized she might return to Belachen at any time.

Dapflen had come voluntarily, and the average stay of a volunteer healer had already long passed.

She could leave tomorrow. From here, or from him.

That night, a premonition that he might lose her someday had struck him. So that night, he had held her tightly.

‘Please stay. Don’t leave.’

‘Yes, I won’t leave.’

‘Don’t think about running away. Stay by my side.’

‘Yes, yes. I’ll stay by your side. Always.’

And yet.

You said you wouldn’t leave. You said you’d stay by my side.

“Why…….”

His voice, mixed with breath, trembled.

He stayed there for a long time like that.

 

 

****

 

 

 

 

From the next day, Ehit began searching for Dapflen.

Even if she had left Belachen, she would still be somewhere in the empire.

To find even a clue about her, Ehit searched like a madman. But strangely, he couldn’t find anything.

Even the Aileta family said they did not know her whereabouts. Whether that was true or just an excuse, he couldn’t tell.

Knowing it was impolite to a family he had broken an engagement with, Ehit still kept visiting Aileta. But he never once heard news of Dapflen.

It felt as if Dapflen Aileta had disappeared from the world.

He put aside even his duties and searched for Dapflen for days. And yet, he could not find her.

Where did you go?

Her smile kept tormenting him.

Whenever he closed his eyes, Dapflen’s bright smile calling his name—“Ehit”—appeared.

When he looked at the sea, her face shining with admiration came to mind.

So this is what it means to go insane.

When he finally thought he might die like this, Ehit made a decision.

He would use precognition, something he had not used even once in years.

He knew it could endanger his life. But to him, who already felt no different from dead, it no longer mattered.

Ehit closed his eyes.

‘Dapflen.’

He focused, trying to see the future. Faint images began to rise.

Veins stood out red on his forehead.

He needed to find a future where Dapflen was. He had to widen the range, search for where she was—

‘Don’t use that.’

Suddenly, her voice from the past surfaced.

It was what she had said when she stopped him before going to Café Redica.

Did she already know, as a healer, that using precognition would be dangerous for him?

At that memory, all strength left his body. Even when he tried to focus again, he couldn’t.

He couldn’t find Dapflen.

Ehit buried his head in his hands. His rough breathing was mixed with resentment.

You won’t even show yourself to me, so why are you stopping me even now?

Even when he tried to look at the future, the past Dapflen stood in his way.

In the end, he opened his eyes again and let out a hollow laugh.

And so, he could only recall Dapflen from his memories.

One year later.

“Lieutenant, ah, I really said I’m fine.”

“Stop acting tough, Mendel.”

In the crowded streets of the capital, Mendel tried to raise his arm as if to insist he was fine, but flinched at a sharp pain.

Ehit, without even acknowledging him, was dragging Mendel toward the medical center.

He had been injured while catching a pickpocket on the street.

There had been two criminals. Ehit had subdued his opponent instantly, but Mendel had somehow gotten injured as if he lost focus for a moment.

‘To think Mendel got hurt like this from mere street thieves. Not like him.’

At the moment he caught them, Mendel had seemed to see something across the street. Whatever he saw, it made him lose focus and get attacked.

It must have been embarrassing for him, as he kept insisting he didn’t need treatment, but Ehit had no intention of leaving a subordinate injured.

He was currently stationed in the capital in place of Ridel.

‘Why am I attending a meeting of admirals…’

‘Didn’t I tell you, Lieutenant? You’re better than most admirals.’

At Ridel’s teasing tone, Ehit had simply given up.

There must be a reason.

After a year of experience, Ehit had learned that Ridel never made decisions that harmed his own people.

So even incomprehensible orders had meaning he would uncover.

“Lieutenant, wait, no, that’s—!”

They entered the central medical center of the capital. As the largest in the empire, it consisted of several buildings and was crowded with people.

After handing Mendel over to a healer, Ehit leaned against a wall and waited.

He could have left, but there was still plenty of time before his next schedule.

‘May you hold onto what you want, and above all, stay true to yourself.’

Dapflen had written that in her letter.

But what he had wanted most had always slipped out of his grasp, so it had been beyond his control.

Instead, he decided to never lose what he needed to protect, and to follow her wish in that way.

That was why he had brought Mendel here before the wound worsened.

Being in a medical center inevitably brought back memories of Dapflen.

A shallow breath escaped his lips.

It had already been a year.

She had said she had only a few months left at most.

He knew she might already be gone. And yet Ehit was still searching for her.

“Interesting. Something like this…”

At that moment, voices came from the corridor in the distance.

Ehit, who had been idly tapping his fingers to the rhythm of a clock, stopped moving.

“…….”

No.

Could it be?

So much time had passed—was he still hearing hallucinations of her?

But.

What if it wasn’t a hallucination?

Even the slightest possibility.

The size of that possibility didn’t matter. Ehit released his arm restraint and immediately moved.

He turned the corner. The place where the voice had come from.

“…….”

But no one was there.

Was it really not Dapflen’s voice?

Was it just another hallucination?

Or had he become someone who could no longer distinguish her voice after a year of emptiness?

Ehit quickly walked through the corridors, then stopped in a hallway.

‘…Not again.’

It had happened before. Seeing someone from behind who resembled Dapflen, only to realize it wasn’t her.

Each time, hope had collapsed, and he had been consumed by pain.

He had become someone who had forgotten how to grow numb.

One thing was clear in those times: he was still waiting for her.

He was still holding on, hoping to hear news that she hadn’t died, even if it was just a single day.

And that was what kept him alive.

‘I should go back.’

Even if he didn’t find Dapflen today, he had to wait. To live as someone ready to meet her.

“…….”

After standing there expressionlessly for a moment, Ehit turned to leave.

But then—

A startled breath came from the opposite end of the corridor.

Footsteps turning sharply around.

With a powerful instinct, Ehit turned.

And the moment he saw the back of a woman with light brown hair tied up, his body moved.

He closed the distance.

Ehit blocked her path.

The woman who had been rushing forward bumped into his chest and stopped.

“…….”

A normal person would have said something after colliding, but she didn’t.

She simply kept her head down, hiding her face.

“……Dapflen.”

It was the name spoken after one year.