Weren’t You the One Who Was Dying? Chapter 106

The door opened.

A middle-aged woman stepped out, her long legs carrying her in wide strides.

A couple waiting outside turned toward her as she left the room, her expression politely restrained but unmistakably displeased.

“That’s Lady Naia, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“I heard she’s looking for families who lost a child seventeen years ago…”

The gentleman trailed off mid-sentence.

Because in the woman’s eyes, as she stared blankly at the people pouring out behind Naia, there was a sorrow too deep to bear.

“Let’s go, dear.”

Forcing a smile, the woman turned away.

The gentleman wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and they walked together.

I wish our child had simply gone missing.

Then at least we’d still have hope of finding her again.

Seventeen years ago, their daughter had fallen into the Thorn Field of Efeon.

The field where anything that touched its thorns was instantly crushed, leaving not even a trace behind.

If only we’d known she would leave us like that…

We should have given her everything instead of holding back.

Instead of letting her treasure only that single jeweled pendant she received for her birthday.

We should have surrounded her with every precious thing we could.

We shouldn’t have let ourselves be frightened by the prophecy and sealed away even her divine power.

The gentleman blinked away the tears threatening to spill from his reddening eyes.

“Father, Mother. Renia is a strong girl. If there really is a god, then I’m sure Renia is living happily in heaven.”

Yes.

He had to stay strong.

If only for the sake of their eldest daughter, who had cried more than anyone else but still stood before them saying those words.

Leaning against each other, the couple quietly walked away.

 

 

*****

 

 

 

The ball continued.

Naia came to the room where I’d been waiting and offered me a few words that were almost like comfort.

She said she’d keep searching.

That no matter what happened, she’d find them.

After she left, I stepped out and wandered through the corridor for a while.

The palace had grown darker, and there were still people everywhere.

Even so, walking alone didn’t feel quite as awkward as it had earlier.

Maybe it was because I was watching the last colors of the sunset.

Or maybe because the chill of early spring was still lingering.

Either way, I felt cold.

I crossed the corridor and climbed another floor.

There were fewer people here.

Carrying a glass of wine, I sat alone on a chair on an empty terrace.

I thought about the couples Naia had spoken with earlier.

Everyone had their own circumstances.

Everyone wanted something.

If a ducal family offered an opportunity like this, I couldn’t blame people for wanting to seize it.

Still…

I felt lonely.

Scolding myself for slumping, I straightened my back.

It didn’t help.

I thought I wasn’t expecting anything.

Maybe… I was.

It had been a year since I’d started living under the surname Harn.

I’d chosen it myself.

But perhaps belonging nowhere had quietly left me feeling lonely and uneasy.

Everything that had once surrounded me…

had been absent for an entire year.

When I first left a year ago, I hadn’t had the peace of mind to do anything except cut everything off completely.

Later…

Too much time had passed.

It felt difficult to reach out again.

Whether it was family.

Friends.

Anyone.

Even if my intention had been to protect them…

To them, it must have looked as though I’d abandoned them.

It’s so complicated…

Resting my elbows on the railing, I propped up my chin.

My gaze drifted blankly over the gardens.

Footsteps echoed from the distance.

I looked up.

A man.

A tall man wandering through the gardens, searching for something.

Even separated by the darkness of night…

I recognized him instantly.

“Ehit…”

I hadn’t thought I’d said it loudly.

But apparently he’d heard.

Our eyes met.

Separated by the terrace railing, I stared at him as though spellbound.

Standing beneath the moonlight, Ehit silently looked up at me.

Then he started walking.

He entered the building at once, climbed to my floor, and came straight toward me.

Without a word, he removed his jacket and draped it over my shoulders.

“Why are you out here when it’s cold? You should be inside.”

“You were outside too.”

“I was looking for you.”

“Why?”

“Because I came here to see you.”

Ehit held out his hand.

I quietly looked at it.

Instead of taking it, I removed his jacket from my shoulders and placed it back into his hand.

“You should wear it.”

Without giving up, Ehit simply draped the jacket over me again.

He reached out once more, intending to help me stand.

Instead, I pushed myself up using the railing.

Ehit slowly lowered his hand.

It wasn’t easy to take it.

I’d been the one who walked away.

Taking his hand now would mean pretending nothing had ever happened.

Even if I followed him now…

it felt as though it would only become a midsummer night’s dream.

My shabby self might be hidden by the darkness of a summer night…

but once the sun rose…

everything would be exposed.

“I should go now. I only came to see Lady Naia, and I’ve already seen her.”

I drained the rest of my wine in one gulp and waved at Ehit.

Whether it was goodbye or telling him to move aside…

Even though either gesture could have annoyed him, he remained perfectly calm.

“I’m leaving.”

He wasn’t even blocking my way.

Yet I found myself saying it again.

Ehit called over a servant standing outside and instructed him to prepare a carriage.

The cheerful sounds of the ball drifted toward us from afar.

I looked into Ehit’s blue eyes.

There was a trace of a sigh in the way he looked at me.

But he didn’t seem irritated.

Nor tired.

The carriage arrived.

I tried to return his jacket.

He refused to take it.

“Give it back next time.”

“Because we’ll meet again anyway.”

“You’re going to come find me again?”

I’d asked the question intending to push him away.

“Of course.”

“What if I refuse to see you?”

Even through the haze of alcohol…

I realized how contradictory I was.

I kept asking questions meant to drive him away…

while secretly hoping for the opposite answer.

And somehow…

I felt embarrassed by the thought that Ehit might have noticed.

“Do as you wish.”

“…”

“If you take one step back, then I’ll take one step forward.”

“And if you come toward me…”

“I’ll simply stay where I am.”

After carefully tucking the hem of my dress inside so it wouldn’t catch in the carriage door, Ehit closed it for me.

“I’ve already waited a year.”

“Do you think I can’t wait even longer?”

As the door closed between us…

the last thing I saw was his expression.

One that looked as though he’d long since learned how to endure impatience.

The carriage pulled away.

 

 

****

 

 

 

The carriage rolled through the night.

Because one of the capital’s largest balls had drawn so many carriages onto the roads, traffic had become congested.

The coachman chose to take a detour through the forest.

The uneven road made the carriage rock from side to side.

Feeling every jolt through the wheels, I slumped against the wall.

If you take one step back, then I’ll take one step forward.

Coming from someone who seemed like the last person who would ever say something like that…

I slowly exhaled.

The faint scent of alcohol lingered on my breath.

My stomach churned slightly.

Still…

because of that discomfort, my mind became strangely blank.

I cracked open the carriage window.

The cool air helped.

Absentmindedly, I watched the trees along the forest road slide past.

Where are you going?

…You can’t stay there.

What was that?

For an instant…

something flickered through my memory.

The tree-lined road before me overlapped with another memory.

Scenes began filling my mind through the dizziness.

Swallowing hard, I called out to the coachman.

“Could you stop for a moment?”

This had happened before.

Forgotten memories would suddenly surface without warning.

I’d always ignored them.

But today…

I felt like I couldn’t.

My thoughts were hazy.

Keeping my eyes fixed on the forest, I began walking after those memories.

A forest thickly carpeted with fallen leaves.

Small feet running desperately through it.

No…! You know what will happen!

A blue-eyed little boy desperately trying to stop me.

I squeezed my eyes shut before opening them again.

A headache throbbed through my skull as more scattered memories surfaced.

In those memories…

I was falling into a mist-covered field of thorns.

A woman, her face twisted in horror, reached desperately to catch me.

But she couldn’t.

Is this… an illusion?

No.

I think…

these are my memories.

I’d always assumed I simply couldn’t remember my early childhood because people naturally forget those years.

My family had accepted me so naturally as Daphlen.

Before I knew it…

I’d become the Daphlen they remembered.

Looking back…

I think everything had felt strange and unfamiliar at first.

But as time passed…

I’d even forgotten that I’d ever felt that way.

Perhaps…

I’d loved the warmth of my family so much…

that I simply hadn’t wanted to remember the past.

But every one of those memories belonged to me.

They were part of who I was.

I couldn’t leave them buried beneath the surface and pretend they’d never happened.

Every one of them had come together to create the person I was now.

“…”

Strangely…

At that very moment…

I wanted to see Ehit more than anything.

Meeting him again after a year hadn’t shaken me much at first.

But suddenly…

the storm I’d managed to suppress swallowed me whole.

Only then did I realize the truth.

I was still acting like this because I was afraid of getting hurt.

Thinking I was doing it because I didn’t want Ehit to get hurt…

Because I didn’t want someone as pathetic as me to steal his time…

Those had all been excuses.

The truth was…

I was simply afraid of being hurt myself.

“…This won’t do, Daphlen.”

Only now…

that pathetic self-protection finally felt meaningless.

I just wanted to run to Ehit…

and be honest with him.

I turned back after stopping.

But at that exact moment—

Footsteps sounded behind me.

I didn’t even have time to turn around.

A hand reached from behind and clamped over my mouth.

The sharp smell of an anesthetic filled my nose.

In an instant…

everything went black.