Weren’t You the One Who Was Dying? Chapter 43

Right now, we were playing a deadly game of alcohol—no, of fate.

You spin the bottle, and the person it points to answers a question. If you don’t want to answer, you get flicked on the forehead.

If you don’t want the flick, you can drink instead. But only as much as the other person wants you to.

Ehit handed me two bottles, and I handed Ehit five. And the result? Forehead flicks for both of us.

The mouth of the bottle pointed back at Ehit. I laughed openly once, then asked,

“When did you go through Rubis?”

Rubis was a kind of rite of passage that everyone in the noble lineage went through, no matter their family’s status.

It was similar to a church baptism. All you had to do was chant a slogan three times in a dark place, but for young children, it was pretty scary.

Because of that, the later you went through it, the more people teased you for being a coward.

“How much are you going to make me drink this time?”

“Is answering not an option?”

At my words, Ehit stayed silent for a moment, then muttered something quietly.

“What?”

“Nine years old.”

“Nine?! Hahaha, most people do it before six or seven.”

“At that time, I wasn’t part of the ducal family yet.”

Now that he mentioned it, I vaguely remembered something like that.

After his biological mother took young Ehit and left the house, he grew up in an orphanage and only returned after he was over eight years old.

‘I guess it was mentioned briefly early on, just to help explain things, so I completely forgot.’

It felt like I’d touched on something sensitive. I wiped the smile off my face and spoke to him.

“……I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Not many people even know that. What about you?”

“Huh?”

“How old were you when you did it? Rubis.”

“I was seven. But I don’t really remember it.”

“You don’t remember? Are you sure you didn’t do it at nine too and you’re lying to me?”

“Have you been fooled your whole life or something? I really was seven. Even if I don’t remember, my parents do, you know? They even wrote in their diary about how much I cried.”

At that, Ehit let out a short laugh.

“You must’ve been so scared that you forgot everything.”

“I’m not the only one who doesn’t remember things from when they were little, you know? What about you—do you remember everything?”

“Yes. I remember it all.”

For a moment, a thoughtful look flashed through Ehit’s eyes.

“……Really?”

“Yes. Vividly.”

I stared at his face, trying to guess what he was thinking, then lifted the bottle and gulped it down. As I drank, Ehit snatched the bottle from me with a look like he’d stepped on a thorn.

“What?”

“That’s why you don’t remember. Because you drink like that.”

“I didn’t drink like this when I was a kid.”

“You’re drinking like that now, so you can’t remember your childhood.”

“That doesn’t sound very convincing coming from someone who lined up five bottles in front of them.”

“I’m a special case.”

With that, Ehit emptied all the remaining bottles so I couldn’t drink any more.

It felt unfair. Even though Ehit was like that, he remembered things from twenty years ago just fine, while I couldn’t even remember being seven.

“By the way, where were you coming back from?”

“Arkan—”

“Arkan?”

Arkan wasn’t a tourist spot. It was a remote mountain region that was hard to reach.

There was no way someone would go there without a special reason, like day labor work.

“……I stopped by Aisha, which is close to it.”

“Arkan and Aisha are close? It takes three hours by ship.”

“The world is huge. If you look at it broadly, three hours is pretty short.”

“It’s a long time.”

“Oh, come on. Fine, it’s long. Very far. So far you’ll never reach it in your lifetime.”

“…….”

Ehit thought for a moment, then suddenly changed his tone.

“It’s not that far.”

“What is this all of a sudden?”

“It’s a distance and time you can reach in your lifetime. I’m just correcting the statement objectively.”

What was with him all of a sudden?

In the sharp haze of alcohol, I thought about his intention for a moment. I leaned both elbows on the table, clasped my hands, and stared at Ehit for a long time.

“……Why are you looking at me like that?”

“There’s no ‘why.’ I’m just looking. Ah, forget it.”

Even though my words followed my scattered train of thought, Ehit didn’t frown or question my intentions.

“……Why?”

“I’m just looking.”

He was simply looking back at me.

“Ah. Okay.”

“Are you drunk?”

“How do I look?”

He rested one arm on the table, naturally leaning forward a little.

His gaze came closer.

“Well. You probably wouldn’t fake a blush like that, so let’s say you are.”

“I’m not faking anything.”

I answered, sounding a little wronged.

Ehit was still leaning slightly toward me. His gaze, his body—everything was directed at me.

“This is strange.”

“What is?”

“Me.”

“Well, good that you know.”

“…….”

I answered like that, but the last line didn’t sound like something Ehit usually would say.

Normally—no, the Ehit Cloyden I knew even with knowledge from the original story—had very strong self-awareness.

He was rational, and he knew it. Almost everything he did was under his own control.

Which meant saying he felt strange about himself was very rare.

I corrected myself and asked again,

“What’s strange?”

Ehit raised a finger and pointed at me.

“Why, of all people, someone like this—”

“……?”

I didn’t like how that started, but I decided to hear him out.

Holding back my frown, I pressed my lips together and focused on his words. Still pointing at me, Ehit continued,

“—do I feel like talking about myself?”

“What?”

“How old I was when I became part of the ducal family. How I lived before that. I’ve never talked about things like that before.”

Ah. That’s what he meant.

He’d told me earlier, while talking about Rubis, that he hadn’t been part of the ducal family before eight.

Maybe even he felt a little flustered about saying that.

Everyone has parts of their heart they don’t talk about easily. For Ehit, maybe that was one of them.

“And yet, here I am telling you everything. My past memories. Those memories. All of it…”

“Well, Ehit, I don’t think you’ve really told me everything.”

Looking closely, his cheeks were slightly red too.

If, like he said, the blush wasn’t an act, then even he—who looked perfectly fine—was a little drunk.

“That thing, too…”

“I don’t know what ‘that thing’ is, but all you’ve told me is about Kennel Island and doing Rubis at nine.”

I waved my hand to clear up what seemed like a drunk misunderstanding.

“Is that so?”

With the finger that had been pointing at me, Ehit poked my palm. Then he let out a quiet laugh, as if lost in thought.

What was this ‘thing’ he kept referring to?

I knew from the original story that he’d grown up in an orphanage, but his past had never been explored deeply beyond that.

Ehit had high standards for himself, and because of that, he rarely talked about himself. That was probably why he was surprised he’d spoken so freely earlier.

But the Ehit I saw now looked like someone who wanted to talk.

Like he wanted to tell someone about himself.

No matter how perfect a person seems, everyone has a bare, unguarded side. And everyone needs at least one friend they can share that side with.

‘But Ehit… doesn’t seem to have many friends…’

I cleared my throat softly and called his name.

“Ehit. This is just something I’m throwing out there.”

“What is it?”

“How about using me as a bamboo forest?”

“A bamboo forest?”

Explaining the whole ‘The king’s ears are donkey ears’ story here would take too long, but since it didn’t matter if it got long, I told him the whole thing anyway.

Ehit listened with a face that pretended not to care.

“So, you’re saying I should vent things I can’t say to others.”

“Yes. Stuff that’s been bottled up. Things you wanted to say but couldn’t. Even if you just want to complain about someone.”

“Can I complain about you too?”

“I’m looking forward to seeing just how rude you’ll become.”

Ehit let out a short laugh and nodded.

“So what do you get out of this?”

“Me?”

“You must get something out of it to make that kind of suggestion.”

I hadn’t really thought about that.

Maybe this was just how Ehit viewed the world.

That everything had to have a purpose, some kind of benefit. That pure goodwill didn’t exist.

“Do you think I’ll gain something from getting closer to you?”

“Not at all.”

Ehit stopped mid-sentence, clearly not expecting that answer.

“Then why did you suggest it?”

“Alright. Then just grant me one wish later.”

Ehit stared at me for a moment, as if trying to read my intentions.

But I didn’t have any hidden intentions to read. I just thought it’d be nice to have a promise like that.

And anyway, this was entirely up to him. If he wanted to do it, he would. If not, he wouldn’t.

“Fine.”

That light answer, too, was his choice.

He looked at me and smiled leisurely. I gave an awkward little smile in return.

Outside, the sound of rain continued.
The downpour didn’t seem like it would stop anytime soon.