Weren’t You the One Who Was Dying? Chapter 86

It feels bad—so bad that it almost feels like anger.

“Does Ehit not like me going with him?”

……That thought hadn’t crossed my mind.

But I already said I would go. And I can’t give up a salary that’s five times higher.

If Ehit doesn’t really welcome me, I do feel a bit sorry from his point of view, but there’s nothing I can do. I’ve decided to go to the North.

Ehit, who had been blinking silently with a serious face, asked in a slow tone.

“Why did you apply?”

I almost answered, Because it pays a lot, but stopped. Giving such a shallow reason felt wrong when Ehit looked this angry.

“Do you hate the idea of me going, Ehit?”

“Isn’t that obvious?”

No, I knew he disliked it, but was it really something that obvious?

I felt a bit gloomy inside, my words rising up to my throat.

Still, we’re engaged—for now, at least. It’s not like I’m asking to stay together forever. Can’t I at least go that far?

“You hate it that much?”

“Yes.”

I asked again, but the answer came back firm.

Ehit stood up at once and pulled me up with him.

“Let’s go. To tell them you’re not going.”

He looked like he was about to go out and speak for me himself.

I quickly shook him off and ran to the other side of the garden.

“I’m going.”

“Dapflen.”

“Why can’t I go?”

“That’s obviously—”

He looked at me as if he couldn’t understand why I was being so stubborn.

Why was he stopping me this strongly?

Was it because he didn’t want me around, even all the way in the North? Is that really why?

Then Ehit spoke, his voice mixed with a slightly trembling sigh.

“……Because it’s dangerous.”

I blinked at the unexpected answer.

Ehit walked closer and slowly lowered his head to meet my eyes.

The blue eyes looking down at me, trapping me in his shadow and arms, were full of worry.

“Do you know how dangerous the North is?”

“…….”

“It’s a place with pirates, and even wild beasts that haven’t been identified.”

When I stood there without answering, Ehit’s voice softened.

He spoke as if soothing me.

“You could stay comfortably in Bellachen. Why would you choose something like that?”

Realizing that that was the reason he told me not to go shook me more than I expected.

Thump. Thump.

Looking into his blue eyes so close, my heart started pounding without me realizing it.

It felt a little warm. Ehit had been giving off heat ever since he arrived, which made it worse.

He hadn’t been like this before, but these days Ehit felt warm, like a heat pack.

His body, his gaze, his voice—everything felt different from before.

Thinking back on how Ehit had been lately, including today, a thought crossed my mind.

‘No way.’

“Dapflen?”

‘A side effect of foresight?’

Since only Kloeden had foresight, no one really knew what kinds of side effects it could have, so suspicion came first.

But even if it was a side effect, from my point of view, it was pretty harmful. To my heart, and to my state of mind.

I’d paid attention to Ehit ever since we first met, and that hadn’t changed.

But I could feel that the reason for it was slowly changing.

Of course, it wasn’t something huge. Definitely not.

But still…….

“I still want to go together. And anyway, they said it absolutely can’t be canceled.”

“Together? What do you mean by that?”

“Huh?”

“I’m not going to the North.”

“……?”

At another unexpected statement, I froze for a moment.

Ehit wasn’t going?

“Then what were you planning to say?”

“I was just going to ask you to have dinner tomorrow evening.”

No, then why did you talk about it so seriously!

As I stared at him blankly, Ehit let out a low sigh.

“Are you really going?”

“Are you really not going, Ehit?”

“Answer first. My answer depends on yours.”

“I…… have to go.”

Ehit sighed again.

“Understood.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll go too.”

“You said you weren’t.”

“Then should I send you alone to a place like that—”

Ehit, who had been speaking with a hint of anger, stopped.

Lowering his voice calmly again, he looked straight at me.

“No one sends a person who said they’re going to the North because their fiancée is going… alone.”

“It’s not like I decided to go just because you were going. I volunteered because I wanted to go.”

That was partly true, but Ehit seemed to barely listen.

“You’ll need to prepare properly. I’ll make sure everything is thoroughly prepared before departure, so keep that in mind.”

I had no idea what he meant by “prepare.” But even harder to understand was what Ehit was really thinking as he said that.

Ehit walked me back to my room and then left.

Afraid I’d get confused again by how much he looked like a real fiancé, I forced myself to fall asleep.

 

 

****

 

 

 

“Everything’s ready. I can’t bring too much luggage, but I packed enough clothes, the medical supplies will come straight from the clinic, and then…….”

A few days later, in the evening. The last night before leaving for the North.

On the garden terrace where the moon was visible, Ehit sat with one arm resting on the table, quietly watching Dapflen beside him.

Dapflen held a teacup and kept talking about this and that. Then she noticed Ehit staring at her and frowned.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re looking at me like you’re about to scold me.”

“Do I really look like someone who’s always scolding you?”

Dapflen narrowed her eyes, imitating his face. Since it looked exactly like an awkward expression, Ehit let out a dry laugh and shook his head.

Still looking dissatisfied, Dapflen suddenly spoke as if she remembered something.

“Oh, right.”

She placed a box she’d had beside her onto the table.

“I kept thinking about it, but I won’t get a chance to give it to you for the next few weeks.”

“What is it?”

“Well, you said you didn’t like it, but your actions didn’t really match, so I brought it just in case.”

Dapflen opened the box. As soon as she did, the buttery smell that had been sealed inside spread through the night air.

“They’re cookies. If you don’t like them, I’ll eat them myself.”

Ehit’s eyes fixed on the cookies filling the box.

Watching his face, Dapflen blinked. Since he usually didn’t show much emotion, she seemed curious about what he was thinking.

“Are you going to eat them?”

“Didn’t you bring them to be eaten?”

Ehit answered naturally.

Dapflen surely knew that meant he wanted them. But the playful woman smiled mischievously and said,

“I never said I was giving them to you.”

She tried to take the box back.

Ehit grabbed her hand to stop her, then took a cookie with his other hand and ate it.

The moment he bit into it, he was slightly surprised. He hadn’t expected much, but it was better than he thought.

“Did you make these yourself?”

“Are they bad? I told you not to eat them if you don’t like them. I’ll eat them all.”

“Who said they were bad?”

Ehit quickly took another cookie.

Dapflen watched him chew, then glanced at him sideways.

“You threw them away last time. Guess you didn’t really hate them.”

His mouth stopped moving. After washing it down with tea and swallowing, a brief silence followed.

“You acted like they were inedible back then—”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“……What?”

Dapflen’s face filled with surprise, as if she hadn’t expected an apology.

‘I must have looked pretty narrow-minded to her.’

After clearing his throat once, Ehit spoke again.

“I admit it. I went too far back then.”

“Why are you suddenly like this?”

“I’m pretty clear about what’s right and wrong.”

Dapflen looked at him with slightly suspicious eyes, then nodded twice.

“Alright! I’ll generously forgive you.”

Her pink lips curved into a smile. Her playful grin was clear like a child’s, yet at the same time unmistakably feminine.

Dapflen took a cookie from the box and ate it too. Ehit’s gaze fixed on her lips as they moved.

“What is it? Did I get crumbs on my face?”

“No, not at all.”

“Thank goodness—what, hey! They’re all over!”

Dapflen shot him a sharp look and brushed at her mouth. Her puffed cheeks and tightly closed lips were adorable.

“You’re teasing me. But it won’t work. I’ll eat neatly this time.”

“Go ahead. Try.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Seeing Dapflen snap back made him laugh again.

Dapflen, clearly annoyed by his laughter, suddenly shoved a cookie into his mouth.

Then, only after seeing crumbs all over his lips, she laughed in satisfaction.

It’s fun.

Ehit realized that this was the right word for how he felt.

No—maybe one word wasn’t enough.

Countless emotions were filling his heart right now. And only now was it becoming clear what to call them.

The strange tenderness that came from smiling together must be happiness.

And the feeling he had when looking at her bright red lips—the urge to get closer right away—was that possessiveness?

And the name of all the emotions he felt right now was—

“Alright, Ehit. Stop just staring and eat.”

Love, probably.

Until now, one part of his heart had always been frozen, like deep winter.

But Dapflen’s voice was tapping at that frozen place. And he already knew that only Dapflen could reach it.

He knew the time was limited.

When that time ended, that place in his heart would freeze over again.

But if he could stay by her side, even for that short time—

That fleeting moment would be far more precious than a lifetime.

On the night before departure, Ehit realized the feeling called love for the first time.