Formless Chapter 14

Seo Gangwoo was truly crazy. While Lee Hyukjin was annoying enough to make one want to hit him, he hadn’t done anything wrong enough to be assaulted so severely.

Heewoon went up to Gangwoo’s room and composed his ragged breathing. He, too, might be hit like that over something minor. Should I take a leave of absence? But Heewoon immediately corrected his thought. Even if he took a leave of absence, Seo Gangwoo would call him out. Then, to the Philippines where my older brother is…

Click.

The sound of the door opening startled Heewoon.

“Why are you so surprised.”

“J-Just…”

Heewoon spoke timidly and lowered his eyes.

“Take this home and eat it.”

“Huh?”

What Seo Gangwoo held out was a pretty box. Looking closely, macarons were visible inside the transparent plastic wrap. Heewoon looked at Gangwoo, bewildered.

“Don’t pick up things that fell on the ground and eat them.”

“…It didn’t fall on the ground.”

When Heewoon denied it quietly, Gangwoo laughed.

“Something suddenly came up, so I think I need to go out.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll send an email to the professor saying I’ll do the presentation.”

“Okay.”

Heewoon was curious about what happened to Lee Hyukjin, but he didn’t ask. He was afraid that the answer would be that he had killed him.

Seo Gangwoo, who had been staring at him, suddenly reached his hand below his chin.

“…Wha, what are you…”

Heewoon stuttered, flustered. He hadn’t grabbed him by the collar, but had put his fingers inside the neckline of his t-shirt and pulled.

Gangwoo’s lips moved as he looked inside the t-shirt with a rather serious expression. The sound was quiet, but Heewoon clearly heard him curse.

Gangwoo let go of the t-shirt and fixed his clothes. The large hand lightly patted his collarbone area. It stretched out. Gangwoo, who had muttered while smoothing the neckline with his hand, raised his head.

“Are there other bastards like that?”

Heewoon tensed at the sudden question.

“Like what…”

“I mean, fucking annoying bastards.”

Heewoon stared blankly at Gangwoo.

The expression, which seemed indifferent at a glance, was similar to when he had assaulted Lee Hyukjin. The sounds he had heard back then—the sound of bones breaking and a face being crushed—lingered persistently in his ears.

Suddenly, this thought occurred to him.

Could the reason for the assault poured onto Lee Hyukjin have been me?

🧸

Heewoon hurriedly left Gangwoo’s house. He wanted to escape quickly. But, thinking about it, that was always the case.

“I’m home.”

“Okay.”

Heewoon, who greeted his mother lying down with the sliding door slightly open, closed the door again and put down his backpack. He planned to study until his tutoring session. He spread out a small table in the kitchen-cum-hallway, where only one person could pass, and opened his backpack zipper. He saw the pale yellow box.

“…”

The area under Heewoon’s eyes twitched. He tightly clenched and unclenched his fist, then took the box out of his bag. And he raised his voice and asked his mother.

“Mom. Do you want a macaron?”

“A macaron?”

Heewoon heard his mother getting up, so he went into her room and handed her the box. His mother looked at the pretty macarons inside the transparent plastic wrap and asked, a little pleased.

“Did you buy this?”

“…Yeah. You like this, Mom.”

“I only have my Heewoon. I’ll have to eat it with coffee.”

Color came into her perpetually tired face. Heewoon stared at his mother’s back as she went into the kitchen. His mother hummed as she put water on the kettle. While she took out the gifted coffee from the cupboard, the kettle made a beeeep sound, and the aroma of coffee spread through the small house, her humming didn’t stop.

His mother had really loved expensive, small desserts.

“You’ll have some coffee, right?”

“Yeah.”

His mother had no idea what had happened a little while ago. What he had seen, heard, and what emotions he had felt today. Even how he had acquired that macaron.

“You looked like you were up late studying yesterday too. You must be very tired, Heewoon.”

His mother said with a worried expression.

“No. I’m not tired at all. I naturally don’t need much sleep, you know.”

Heewoon smiled gently at his mother.

His mother placed the coffee on the table and went into the room. Heewoon stared blankly at the sliding door, then wrapped both hands around the steaming coffee cup. Only then did he realize that his hands had been cold the whole time.

🧸

“Wow. Very well done. The content and the presentation, both. Excellent.”

“Thank you.”

Seo Gangwoo had a smooth smile next to the screen.

“This team ended up with two students because one of the team members was in a car accident. I heard the car accident was severe, how is that student doing?”

The students sitting in the lecture hall whispered amongst themselves about Lee Hyukjin. They knew, without any suspicion, that it was a car accident. It was handled so neatly that Heewoon was afraid to even ask how it was possible.

“I heard he’s recovering.”

The professor nodded and clapped, saying he had done well in any case. Among the other students who started clapping, Heewoon stared blankly at Gangwoo.

Was it really because of me?

“How was it?”

Did I do well? Gangwoo whispered, smiling playfully. He had been nonchalant the whole time, despite having beaten him up and then disguising it as a car accident.

“Uh-huh.”

Heewoon nodded his head. And he thought.

Seo Gangwoo is crazy. Therefore, it’s unnecessary to guess the reason for the assault. Whatever the reason, Seo Gangwoo was the one who committed such violence, and it has nothing to do with me.

“Why are you looking at me like that.”

At Gangwoo’s words, Heewoon shook his head, saying it was nothing.

As the next group was getting ready to present, he heard the underclassmen whispering behind him.

“Hey. But did you hear that? Hyukjin sunbae is hospitalized in a VIP room. He didn’t look like it, but is he rich?”

“Isn’t that just a rumor? They say he can’t have visitors, so how would anyone know.”

“No. It’s fucking certain. You know Minhyung among our classmates? His girlfriend’s acquaintance, an unnie, works at the hospital, and she saw him.”

“That’s what you call a rumor, you bastard.”

The two men, who had been snickering, shut up when the professor’s gaze turned towards them.

Heewoon wiggled his fingers under the desk. A flesh-colored band-aid was stuck on the palm of Seo Gangwoo’s hand, who was sitting next to him. It seemed he had also hurt himself a little when he brought the glass down on Lee Hyukjin’s head. Heewoon stared intently at the well-formed hand that he couldn’t imagine doing such a terrible thing.

“We will begin the presentation.”

He was the only person who knew about Seo Gangwoo’s madness.

Heewoon turned his head and looked straight ahead. His heart was beating fast.

🧸

The exam was less than a week away. Normally, he would have napped during his free periods, but he couldn’t afford to waste time.

Time was always short during exam season because of his tutoring sessions, which he did six days a week, and because Seo Gangwoo frequently called Heewoon out. He had no choice but to do his lacking studying after his tutoring sessions. Yesterday, too, he had returned home at 2 AM, studied for about 4 hours, and then slept. His total sleep time was 2 hours. The day before was 3 hours, and the day before that was 2 hours.

Now, perhaps having reached his limit, he was extremely tired. It felt like he could fall asleep if anything touched his head.

Heewoon rubbed his face and looked at the clock. There were about 3 hours left until his tutoring session. The subject he had to finish today was… wait…

“Haah—.”

Heewoon sighed and covered his eyes. He was walking, but his brain was definitely asleep. Since Seo Gangwoo hadn’t contacted him yet, maybe he wouldn’t call him today. Then, should I sleep a little in the student lounge?

It would be a disaster if I fell asleep while tutoring. A few days ago, he had heard the student say, ‘I’ll be watching you, Teacher.’

It seems better to sleep a bit and then go to the tutoring session.

Having made up his mind, Heewoon turned his steps away from the library. Thinking about sleeping, his heavy, dragging steps became lighter.

But. A call came in.

[Seo Gangwoo]

Heewoon roughly rubbed his face as he looked at his phone screen. He wasn’t afraid seeing the three syllables of Seo Gangwoo’s name; irritation surged. It seemed that if fatigue piled up too much, fear was also lost.

I don’t want to answer.

If he went into the student lounge right now and just rested his head on the hard mattress, he could fall asleep right away. Even an hour of sleep would relieve some of his fatigue.

However, not answering was not an option.

“…Hello.”

—Why are you answering the phone so late.

The tone was casual, yet chilling.

“Well…”

Heewoon tried to make an excuse but trailed off. Half of his brain was still asleep.

—Come to the parking lot.

“Now?”

—Yes. Now.

The call ended. Heewoon stared blankly at his phone, then sighed. He pressed his throbbing temples and turned his steps. He felt like crying.

What if I fall asleep while tutoring? It would be a disaster if I got fired. Will I be able to study at dawn and then sleep?

Heewoon’s face grew gloomier as he walked to the parking lot.

He saw Seo Gangwoo’s car. The car he drove himself wasn’t a foreign car, probably because he didn’t want to attract attention.

Heewoon took a deep breath, then got into Gangwoo’s car. He didn’t seem to have closed the door properly, but Gangwoo immediately pulled Heewoon by the nape of his neck and kissed him. Heewoon, his eyes wide open, roughly pushed Gangwoo’s shoulder away.

“What are you doing!”

Heewoon checked that the car door was closed and glanced outside.

“I’m kissing you.”

Gangwoo, who answered nonchalantly, tilted his head. He looked displeased.

“Y-You were so sudden…”

“I guess my sunbae isn’t so afraid of me anymore.”

That couldn’t be true. He must have gone crazy for a moment. To push Seo Gangwoo away. On top of that, he had shouted.

He was making an excuse with a deathly pale face, saying, That’s not it…, when Gangwoo slowly stroked Heewoon’s head.

“I did that because I was glad to see you, but pushing me away makes me feel bad, doesn’t it.”

“…”

“If I feel bad…”

Gangwoo drew out the end of his sentence. Heewoon lowered his eyes. The hand that had been stroking his head suddenly grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled it back.

“Uht…”

“I think it’ll be a loss for sunbae. What do you think?”