Formless Chapter 66

After a struggle, the phone finally slipped from Heewoon’s hand and fell to the floor. The phone rolled a few times before hitting the wardrobe and stopping. Thud, an ominous sound was heard.

‘Who are you calling when we’re all about to die!’

His hyung’s words echoed.

It was then. His mind, which had been foggy, cleared.

What was he doing right now?

What was he going to do by calling Seo Gangwoo? Run away at dawn to escape the loan sharks, and ask if he could go? What if Seo Gangwoo told him not to go? Was he supposed to stay here alone?

Goosebumps erupted all over his body. Heewoon stared wide-eyed at the phone on the floor.

“You son of a bitch.”

Heehyeon cursed a few more times and sat down in front of the first aid kit.

“Heehyeon. Mom will do it for you.”

“Just pack your bags.”

“What is there to pack? It’s enough if we just go safely.”

Heewoon alternately looked at Heehyeon’s face, which was still a mess despite having washed, and his mother’s face, full of worry and fear. Looking closely, the faint emotion appearing on his hyung’s face was also fear. Heewoon thought.

Still, he was falling.

When would he finally reach the end? The end of an endless fall might be death. For example, like a scene from a movie or a creepy internet story, when his internal organs were all gone upon discovery.

Still, if he told Gangwoo, he would help. Just like he gave him a card and sent him money. If he just asked, like he did then, things might work out much better than he expected.

And if he went somewhere without saying anything, Gangwoo would be very angry. He might get slapped, they would have violent sex, and he wouldn’t be hugged.

“…”

Heewoon bit his lip hard. Then he picked up the phone that had fallen face down on the floor. The screen was shattered into pieces. He felt as if he himself was in the same state.

He was so shattered that he couldn’t list where and how everything had gone wrong.

The phone screen had gone black. Heewoon pressed the power button firmly. Even though the screen was completely broken, the power turned on. The touch also worked well, so making and receiving calls seemed fine.

Heewoon slumped down right where he was. His mother and hyung no longer said anything. The house, which had been filled with loud shouts, suddenly became quiet. It was a silence quieter and heavier than usual. Fear and terror approached with bigger footsteps.

Heewoon traced the broken screen with his fingertip.

He wanted to call Seo Gangwoo. He hoped he wouldn’t be angry. He wanted to hear his voice. He hoped he would praise him for calling.

However, various impulses that sometimes arose, including the thoughts he was having now, were not to be indulged.

The thought that if Seo Gangwoo told him not to go, he could send only his mother and hyung and stay by Gangwoo’s side, was especially irrational.

He was scared.

Could he piece himself back together, shattered as he was?

If there was even a slight intention to gather and reassemble the broken pieces, now was the chance.

Heewoon hugged his knees, leaning his back against the wardrobe. Time passed slowly in the narrow room, overcome by overwhelming fear. He occasionally glanced at the phone on the floor and pressed the home button. After confirming that no messages had arrived, he stared at the screen, which glowed in the dim room, for a while. Brighter light came from the cracks running in all directions.

He squeezed his eyes shut. Memories intertwined and surfaced.

‘We’re letting it slide because your situation is difficult, Customer.’

The face with a suspicious smile appeared a little more twisted, and he himself, clinging to the wrong thing, ignoring an unsettling premonition, became even more ridiculous.

‘We can pay it all back. We just need to work hard together a little longer.’

It was incredibly laughable. Even when his nose bled, when he forced a smile for his mother, and all the moments when he steeled himself while looking at his sleeping mother’s back.

But only good memories of Seo Gangwoo came to mind. As if the scary and difficult memories had hidden deep away.

Undivided attention and a gentle touch that never left. A kind voice, gaze, a firm embrace. Each time they came to mind, his heart felt heavy.

He truly was broken.

“Let’s go.”

Heehyeon, who had been lying on one side, said in a hoarse voice. Heewoon was startled, as if it were a death sentence. His heart pounded wildly. He was afraid, so afraid.

Looking at his mother, who was checking her passport again, Heewoon pressed the phone’s home button. 4 AM. It was still dark. Seo Gangwoo would be sleeping.

He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them.

He had to run away. From those who would break him. From the loan sharks, and from Seo Gangwoo.

Heewoon put on his down jacket, whose padding was completely flat. The jacket his hyung was wearing was too dirty to put on. And, it seemed better not to wear it.

“Did you pack everything well?”

His mother’s voice at the door was wet. He didn’t know what her face looked like because the light wasn’t on, but it must have been wetter than her voice.

Heewoon scanned the narrow room visible in his darkness-adapted vision. Then he placed the phone in front of the TV.

“Aren’t you taking your phone?”

“It’s broken.”

Heewoon answered calmly.

Watching Heehyeon’s back as he led the way, Heewoon took out and put on his old sneakers. They were used sneakers, not new ones. Heehyeon, who had opened the front door slightly and looked outside, motioned with his hand. His mother went out first, and Heewoon also quietly came out into the yard. He closed the door with utmost care, nervous that the sound might be heard by the next-door neighbors.

The old houses were all built close together, and the fences weren’t very high. After crossing just two fences, a narrow alley appeared. He intended to hide there and catch a taxi.

Heehyeon went first, grabbed his mother’s hand, and Heewoon pushed his mother up from behind. His heart felt like it would explode as they stealthily passed through someone else’s yard. What if they were caught and screamed? What if those people, who were likely watching near their house, immediately chased after them?

It was as they passed through the narrow space beside the stairs. His mother, tiptoeing, hit a small potted plant placed on the edge of the stairs with her elbow. The pot wobbled as if it would fall.

“…!”

Heewoon, wide-eyed and uttering a silent scream, barely managed to catch the potted plant. The cold, hard ceramic felt under his palm. A small sigh escaped him. His heart was pounding so loudly that his whole body seemed to vibrate.

He waved his hand at his mother, who had turned back, as if to say it was nothing. It was difficult to move his body freely, stiff from the bone-chilling cold. But Heewoon was trying his best, and his hyung and mother must have been too.

They crossed one more fence, and now it was the last house. He almost screamed when he encountered a stray cat but passed safely.

He entered a flowerbed with a few withered trees and stood in front of the fence. It was about chest-height for Heewoon. It seemed a little difficult for his mother to climb over.

Heewoon looked around and found a few bricks in the corner. Stacked close to the fence, it seemed like they could step on them to climb.

“Hyung, go over and help Mom.”

Heewoon whispered softly to Heehyeon. Heehyeon nodded, looked outside the fence, and easily climbed over.

“Here, Mom.”

Heewoon pulled his mother’s hand. His mother put one knee onto the fence. Heewoon, supporting his mother from behind, saw his mother’s feet trembling as she stepped on the bricks. He clenched his teeth.

Finally, his mother climbed over the fence. His hyung nodded over the fence. Heewoon wiped his sweaty palms on the ground and placed his hands on the rough concrete wall. Then he stepped firmly on the bricks, which wobbled slightly from side to side.

As soon as Heewoon lifted his foot, the bricks crumbled sideways. They hit a protruding stone, and the bricks broke with a crunch. Because of the noise, Heewoon, clinging to the wall, looked back. The darkened house was still quiet.

“Haa…”

He sighed and climbed over the wall. Thud, he landed lightly and brushed off his hands. Then he took his mother’s hand.

There was nothing in the narrow alley except for a cat. If they passed through this alley, they would reach a main road. Heehyeon, who had gone ahead, stood at the end of the alley and motioned with his hand. Heewoon gripped his mother’s hand tightly and looked back at her. Seeing his mother’s face, which looked like she would collapse at any moment, he turned up the corners of his mouth.

“Let’s go, Mom.”

He whispered and walked slowly. Heehyeon, who had called a taxi, squatted down and took out a cigarette. Heewoon frowned but didn’t bother to say anything.

Once they took a taxi, they would be safe. His mouth was dry. In his anxiety, Heewoon’s grip on his mother’s hand tightened.

As soon as Heehyeon finished smoking his cigarette, the sound of a car was heard close by.

“I think the taxi’s here.”

His mother brightened and took a step out of the alley. It was then. A shadow fell, and a black van stopped with a screech. Very close, as if it would collide with his mother.

“Oh, Mom!”

Heewoon cried out a scream and pulled his mother’s hand. Almost simultaneously, the van’s door opened, and a thick hand shot out, grabbing his mother’s clothes. His mother’s body was yanked strongly.

“Let go! Hyung!”

Heewoon gripped his mother’s hand and pulled, turning back. It was to ask Heehyeon for help. But Heehyeon was surrounded by three or four burly men.

“You son of a bitch…!”

Heehyeon, struggling with all his limbs held, had his mouth covered by a hand holding a handkerchief. Heehyeon’s body quickly went limp.

Heewoon, startled as if he had seen something horrifying, turned his head back and bit hard into the hand that was grabbing his mother’s arm.

“Aargh! You son of a bitch.”

The thick hand repeatedly hit Heewoon’s temple and head with thuds. Heewoon clenched his jaw and resisted. As blood seeped out, the man cursed and let go of his hand.

“Let’s go, Mom!”

Heewoon immediately pulled his mother’s arm. But a hand appeared from behind, constricting Heewoon.

“Help…!”