Winter Season Chapter 23

— Yihyeon, your father is in the hospital right now.

“…”

— They say it’s liver cancer.

At the unexpected words, the fingers that had been fidgeting with the paper stopped moving once again. The silence settled between the phone lines was heavy.

Yihyeon, who had been frozen blankly for a moment not knowing what to say, parted his lips.

“…Since when?”

— It’s been about a month.

“…”

The last memory Yihyeon had of his father was a face full of rage, shouting at him. Back then, he had been agitated and aggressive, appearing more full of energy than anyone else. For such a man to have cancer. It was hard to believe.

“…What about treatment?”

— It’s not that the chance of a full recovery is low, but they say the location is really not good… Sob…

Small sobbing sounds followed those words. Yihyeon, who had been momentarily frozen by the unthought-of news, regained his senses and began moving his hands again. He swept the inside of his cheek with his tongue and unfolded the receipt he had folded up tightly.

— God must cherish your father very much. That’s why He’s trying to take him so soon…

Yihyeon listened quietly with an expressionless face to his mother speaking with a voice mixed with tears. He wondered if there was any other son besides himself who would listen to the news of his father being ill so calmly.

“…”

It wasn’t that he didn’t understand the feelings of his mother calling him after several years to tell him this, but Yihyeon did not know what kind of reaction to show. He didn’t know what emotion he was supposed to feel, nor what he was supposed to say.

Yihyeon merely listened quietly to the story coming from over the phone, tracing the receipt whose corners had worn away from being folded and unfolded multiple times.

His mother’s voice, which had occasionally been mixed with sobbing or turned into a worried tone, had become quiet at some point.

Realizing the heavily settled silence belatedly, Yihyeon opened his mouth to give some kind of answer, but his mother’s voice continued.

— So, the thing is… Yihyeon, Mom knows it’s a bit much to say this, but by any chance, do you have any lump sum of money saved up…?

His flickering lips seemed to part a little more, but then they were pressed shut tightly. Yihyeon merely blinked his eyes quietly while looking down at the receipt that had somehow become as messy as a rag.

— Your sister is getting married soon, but of all times, this happened right when she was preparing, so we couldn’t even help her. I feel too sorry toward Mr. Kim to talk to them about it…

“…”

— From what I heard from Seohyeon, you’ve been continuously working various jobs, Yihyeon. It’s not for a long time, but if it’s for about a year, I think we might be able to find a way to unfreeze your father’s bank accounts…

A gap opened between his thin, red lips, and Yihyeon laughed softly, letting out a wheezing sound. He had been thinking there would be another reason for her contacting him first after seven years, but even so, having heard it directly, his mouth felt bitter.

The image of his father shouting curses, saying he never had a child like him and calling him a devil possessed by Satan, was vivid.

The sight of his white school uniform top being stained red by a carelessly thrown wine glass; the scenery where the sunset light from outside reflected off the cross on the wall and scattered; the scene where people, who had shut their mouths as if dead, were rolling their eyes with disgusted expressions.

All the memories were as vivid and clear as if they had happened yesterday.

— Yihyeon, are you listening?

At the cautious voice, Yihyeon set down the piece of paper he had been gripping tightly. It was a shape more appropriate to be called trash than a receipt. Yihyeon stared at it quietly, then cleared away the sentences stuck as if blocked somewhere between his throat and solar plexus, and barely managed to open his mouth.

“…Yes. I’m listening.”

— You should start sorting out your feelings and come home now, too. How long are you going to live like that out there, hm? Your father hasn’t said it, but he must be waiting.

His father had exposed his sexual identity in front of the church people under the pretext of confessing sins. Yihyeon knew better than anyone that there was no way a man who had even become an elder pastor of a church would welcome him now.

However, instead of reminding his weak-hearted mother of that fact, Yihyeon cast his eyes down and quietly shut his mouth. A faint shadow fell beneath his dense, black eyelashes.

— Yihyeon, I told you back then, too…

Jingle.

Beyond his mother’s continuing voice, an exceptionally cheerful sound was added. Lifting his head, he saw someone with light-colored hair opening the cafe door and walking in. It was Yeo Eunho, whom he felt he hadn’t seen in almost several months.

Eunho, who had been looking around the surroundings, discovered Yihyeon and gave a short wave of one hand. Looking at his friend who went straight to the counter and looked up at the menu, Yihyeon opened the lips he had been keeping tightly closed.

— You should meet a nice woman and date, too…

“I, I’m sorry, but I think I have to hang up now.”

— Ah, is that so…?

“I’ll think about what you said and get back to you.”

Yihyeon, with his eyes cast down, hesitated before continuing his words.

“…Because it’s a large amount of money for me, too.”

Yihyeon added softly while reciting the amount his mother had mentioned in his head. The person on the other side of the phone seemed to be silent for a moment, then let out a low sigh.

— Right… Do that.

It was a reaction that somehow felt resentful, but Yihyeon didn’t mind and began to clear the table. As he clumped the crumpled receipt together with a tissue and pushed the tray to the side, Eunho, who had already received his drink and approached, took a seat opposite him.

Yihyeon barely managed to part his lips toward the person on the other end of the phone, who was answering with silence.

“…Please also tell Father to take good care of himself.”

— Yes, I will. The weather is cold, so make sure you eat well, too.

“…Yes.”

Click. Yihyeon looked at the phone that was disconnected without an answer and then lowered it. Lifting his head, he saw Eunho sucking on the straw of an iced latte with his sharp, cat-like eyes wide open.

“What? Is it your mother?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, crazy. What did she call for?”

Instead of an answer, Yihyeon gripped the now-cold mug with both hands. Looking down at the black Americano with a thin layer of transparent oil floating on it, he internally gauged the money remaining in his bank account and the living expenses for the next semester.

…There was no answer.

“Just… she said there’s something she needs to ask for regarding my father’s business.”

“Your father’s business? That thing where he got reported for pocketing offerings and got a suspended sentence? Hey, don’t tell me she asked if you know any lawyers around you?”

Unlike the calm Yihyeon, Eunho reacted noisily as if it were his own business. Yihyeon shook his head saying that wasn’t it, but Eunho tapped on his phone with his eyes narrowed.

“Geez, when did they say they’d strike you off the family register because a kid not even twenty was possessed by a devil, and now they’re looking for you? Where the hell did they throw their conscience away, some temple?”

“…I don’t know.”

“Hey, anyway, whatever your mother said, just pretend you don’t know. No, just think of them as strangers. Honestly. After you graduated and were going through all kinds of hardships, they wouldn’t even pick up a call once, and now what.”

Even if he combined all the money in his bank account, he could not cover the amount his mother had mentioned. If he were to grant her request, let alone returning to school next semester, it was a situation where he would have to look into bank loans. A hollow laugh came out.

His head felt as if it were colored white by the news he had suddenly heard. While he was pondering what to do, the logo on the clothes Eunho was wearing and the car keys placed carelessly on the table kept catching his eye.

Toward Eunho, who was grumbling while looking down at his phone with slanted eyes, Yihyeon opened his mouth without realizing it.

“Yeo Eunho. By any chance.”

“Huh?”

“…Never mind.”

“What? What is it, why do you stop mid-sentence?”

Eunho, who had been moving his fingers busily, lifted his head and met Yihyeon’s eyes. Yihyeon shut his lips tight and shook his head.

They had known each other for over nine years since high school. He didn’t want to cause worry by bringing up unnecessary words.

“It’s nothing. Go back to what you were doing.”

“What. So anticlimactic, stopping mid-sentence… No, but why does this guy keep texting when he said he had an important meeting?”