Surviving As An Obsessive Servant Chapter 138

“The young master has another merchant guild—Elkatan.”

Sir Arif spoke with the solemnity of a knight preparing for battle.

“Through that guild, he has tirelessly funded research groups and laboratories working on new drug development.”

A memory surfaced—the day I had once wished aloud that there would be no more suffering people in the world.

It was a statement that could have been easily dismissed. A dream so unrealistic it was nearly impossible.

But the young master had been working behind the scenes, alone, to make my dream a reality.

‘And yet, I had completely forgotten about the words I had spoken…’

“The funds were covered by the profits from resources extracted from the three key strongholds in the north.”

I could never fully comprehend what it felt like for him to invest in something so impossible.

Even if I lived multiple lifetimes, I would never have dared to take on such a reckless endeavor.

I shut my eyes, unable to suppress the weight in my chest, and waited for him to continue.

“But… there was a problem.”

Arif hesitated, unable to speak as easily as before.

A sense of dread crept over me.

I opened my eyes to see his hands clenched tightly into fists atop his thighs.

As anxiety settled over me, he finally continued in a low, subdued voice.

“Despite having brilliant researchers, well-equipped facilities, vast amounts of funding, and rare ingredients… there was still something missing.”

“…What was missing?”

“It’s obvious… No one was willing to become a test subject for high-risk experimental drugs.”

“…….”

“Even with promises of generous compensation, there weren’t enough volunteers. The development of the drugs kept stalling.”

Of course.

Any kind of medicine—especially treatments for rare and dangerous diseases—required extensive clinical trials.

Then… “How…?”

The question stuck in my throat.

No—I already knew the answer.

“…I’m truly sorry I couldn’t stop him.”

Arif bowed his head as if he had personally harmed the young master.

By the time his long story came to an end, the sky was painted entirely in shades of crimson.

I covered my eyes with my hand, unable to bear how much redder mine had become.

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

The young master arrived when the night had already settled deep into the surroundings.

But I had lost track of time.

Leaning against the front gate, I instantly recognized the sound of his carriage approaching from the distance.

Even before it came to a full stop, I was already moving toward it.

And just as he was opening the carriage door, our eyes met.

His green eyes blinked in surprise.

“Lobel…? Did you come to greet me?”

His voice, full of eager anticipation, didn’t get the reaction he was hoping for.

“Come with me.”

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him straight toward the entrance.

The young master, despite his evident excitement, obediently followed.

His long legs could have easily outpaced mine, but he made no effort to do so.

Like the fool he was, the one who sacrificed everything without anyone knowing, he seemed content just to be near me—even without understanding why.

That, too, was infuriating.

Suppressing my growing anger, I led him straight to his room, shut the door behind us, and locked it.

Sensing the unusual tension, the young master grew cautious.

“…Did something happen while I was gone?”

“You did something impressive, truly.”

“…?”

“Because of one passing comment I made, you invested all the money you earned in the north into developing new medicine and even became a test subject yourself on a regular basis.”

His expression shifted—he was clearly wondering where I had heard it from.

After a brief pause, he cautiously replied, as if trying to reassure me,

“Don’t worry. I didn’t invest all the money from the north. And I only volunteered as a test subject occasionally, after finishing the suppression of the barbarians, so it wasn’t a big deal.”

…Did he seriously just say that?

I was too stunned to even respond at first.

As if he were giving a casual financial report, he started explaining the future plans for Elkatan and the Denkart merchant guild.

Or at least, he tried to—

Until I lost my composure completely and exploded.

“Was life too boring for you? Did you get cured just so you could go find a new disease?! Or do you have a death wish?!”

By the time I finished shouting, I was nearly out of breath.

The young master, caught off guard, hesitated.

As if finally realizing why I was so furious, he tried to calm me down.

“You know I’m a Diff. It’s not that dangerous for me. And… wasn’t it your wish?”

Even as he gauged my reaction, he said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Like it was obvious.

Like it was the right thing to do.

As if everything he had struggled through—everything he had built—was just something to be given away.

“Your wish is my wish. Doing something for you is the same as doing something for myself. So when the opportunity came, I took it.”

“Just because of that one sentence?!”

“Just? It was your wish.”

“Young master, get a grip! I’m not worth that much to you!”

By the time I finished speaking, I felt like I was going to explode from sheer frustration.

I didn’t even give him the chance to argue back.

I couldn’t afford to.

“I… I’ve been keeping something from you, too. Something that you, of all people, should know.”

The young master stared at me with those clear, unwavering eyes.

He didn’t seem to think my secret would be anything significant.

His gaze made my face burn with shame.

But I refused to look away.

I had always wanted to keep this hidden—forever.

Yet now, I forced myself to say it.

“Seven years ago… something strange started happening to my body. I had the same black spots you did, on your leg.”

“…!”

“It felt so wrong, and yet… instinctively, I knew I had to hide it from my parents. So I went to a physician in secret, and they told me—I had the same disease as the Denkart heir.”

“…Lobel, you had Ferus too?”

“Yes. And to be cured, I needed medicine that commoners could never afford. That’s why I became your attendant.”

“…….”

“I entered your service intending to steal your medicine. That was the only way I could survive.”

Saying the words out loud made me feel utterly disgusting.

But I had to do it.

I had to tell him everything, even if it meant facing his hatred.

“From the start, I wasn’t purely acting in your best interest.”

Would he be disappointed?

Would he hate me?

“Even when I tried to leave back then… it was because I had been cured. I didn’t need to stay anymore.”

Even as those thoughts raced through my mind, I didn’t stop talking.

It was too late to take it back now.

Even saying it at all was already an act of betrayal.

“I wasn’t like you. My reasons weren’t noble. I was selfish. I only thought about saving myself.”

The realization that the young master might explode in fury at any moment made my chest feel ice-cold.

But I continued, like a person deliberately driving a dagger into their own heart.

Every word I spoke felt like an arrow piercing through me.

“I deceived my family. I deceived you. Now you understand, right? Just how selfish and awful I am?”

“…….”

“I didn’t even remember making that wish in the first place.”

So please—don’t ever do something so reckless for me again.

I was going to apologize.

But before I could, he let out a deep, regretful sigh.

“…I should have taken less.”

His next words made me question my own hearing.

“If I had… If I had taken less of the medicine… you would have gotten better faster.”

The young master buried his face in his hands.

Through his fingers, his guilt seeped out like something tangible.

“So that’s why you always looked at those broken medicine bottles like that… I shouldn’t have thrown them away.”

He was drowning in regret.

His distorted expression, the way his eyes glistened with unshed tears—

I couldn’t think.

I had prepared myself for his anger, but this…

“I’m sorry.”

“…….”

“I’m so sorry, Lobelia. I was wrong. I did you wrong.”

…What the hell?

Why was he looking at me like that?

Why was he the one apologizing?

At a complete loss for words, I blurted out in frustration,

“There’s something else I haven’t told you. I knew you were a Diff. Even before you told me that night at the recital.”

“Then… that means you’re completely cured now, right?”

He cut me off, muttering anxiously.

For the first time, I saw him completely stripped of his usual composure.

More vulnerable than he had ever been as a child.

He had always been indifferent toward his own illness.

But the idea of me being sick—that, he couldn’t handle.

“I wouldn’t know… I’m a Diff. But you—you won’t relapse, right? You’re not sick anymore?”

“…I’m not sick.”

“No. No, we shouldn’t just be talking about this. Our disease is still barely understood…”

He spoke in a panicked rush, as if trying to convince himself.

Even as his words turned incoherent, he struggled to collect his thoughts, rubbing his temples.

“Wait… The physicians. I’ll call them. Palace doctors, anyone—”

“That’s unnecessary. I’m completely cured.”

“How do you know? You’re not a physician. What if it comes back?”

“…It won’t. The black spots on my thigh disappeared before you left.”

His tense features momentarily softened in relief.

But then, he shook his head again.

“No. We still need to confirm it. Of course, I believe you, but… we need records. Tests, observations…”

For someone who had always been indifferent to his own illness, he was shouldering all the fear now.

Even just watching him was making me go insane.

And in his desperation, he reached for a familiar leather bag.

Without hesitation, he emptied its contents onto his desk.

Parchment, ink, pens—every item meticulously arranged.

Yet his strong hands, usually steady as steel, trembled like he was gripping the sharp edge of a blade with his bare fingers.

He was in pain, because of me.